Saturday, September 19, 2009

Red Sox x, Orioles x Minus A Lot

Dennis Eckersley really summed up the poor Orioles tonight when he said, essentially, "I don't wanna be their manager, I don't wanna be their general manager, I don't wanna be their owner...I don't wanna do TV for 'em...." And it led to a great moment, as they had been showing a somber Orioles GM in a booth--and right after Eck said all that, they switch to a wide shot, making us realize that the dude's booth is adjacent to Don and Eck's. Eck started saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," as Don points with one arm at the O's guy, then the other at Eck, saying, "not available" (to do TV for the Orioles).

So despite Manny Delcarmen's crap-platter of anti-delights that cause Pap to get up in a game that was 11-3 in the ninth, we get another W in Baltimore. What a key play by Gonzalez on that DP when the game was still close. The guy's amazing. Still.

I'd love to cut that lead to 5, 4 in the loss--the Mariners trail the Yanks 1-0 early, and they're pitching a guy named Titian. Not really, but his actual name is Doug Fister. "Past Tense of Dig" "One Who Fists." Come on, M's, this is no time for jokes! We're in a division race here! [Update, 1:25 AM: Yanks eke out 10-1 win.]

Weird thing: Four current Red Sox: Pedroia, Martinez, Manny, Ramirez.

Thursday Shots

MO BLOWS ONE. Ichiro walk-off dong. Click here. (Note: despite what everyone says, Mariano Rivera has had other poor performances this year. They love to get hung up on things like "that's his only blown save," completely disregarding things like tie games he entered. But if you're a Sox fan, you already knew that. So we're five back in the loss, with them out west for the week and us getting Baltimore and KC. Now onto the pictures...)

Had a single bleacher ticket. Decided to wander instead. Shot looking across Lansdowne out those windows at the Jordan's deck.

I'm getting pretty good at getting to the pavilion level even if I don't...well, nothing.

Did that thing where I went around the back of the press area. This is a shot of Yawkey Way mid-game--I was actually just "pretending" to be getting this shot while waiting for staff people to go by so I could get that shot of Eckersley in the media lounge. See earlier post for that.

After spending a large chunk of the game with that beautiful bird's eye view, I went back downstairs and way out to the right field standing area.

And finally, for the late innings, I went to a loge box seat by the on deck circle. Here are... you know who they are.

Some Angels.

It's rare I linger in the stands after a loss. But I did since I knew I'd have to wait around for the rookie hazing thing anyway. So I got a shot of what it looks like when the bleachers slowly empty out.

Again, it was really dark and the players didn't even come out, so it was hard to get shots of the costumes, but I did get this one of Tazawa as Dorothy in the back of the bus. Only Papelbon sits farther back on the bus, in that one seat that's next to the john.

Daniel Bard enjoying his time as the cowardly lion--you can see his "ears," now down around his neck.

As for the game, terrible job by Wagner walking the leadoff man in the ninth. That's what did it.

Friday, September 18, 2009

More Bird-beatin'

Back on the victorious path as HH gets the dub and Pap the seighve.

We're 14-2 against Baltimore this year.

When Don was signing off, the audio skipped when he said the number 6. "Six-six-six..." Not as bad as the time Sean McDonough was saying the words "not see" and the whole telecast screwed up, with the video stopping and the audio repeating over and over, so suddenly the audience was seeing a still frame and hearing "Nazi Nazi Nazi Nazi Nazi Nazi" before the whole thing just cut out. That was a bizarre moment--my dad and I were watching, so I at least have a witness. I'd guess it was a game in the Metrodome, probably early 90s.

Can the people who think Jeter should be MVP look at Youk's numbers, please? That way they can see a guy who's having a great year--a year that's nowhere near Joe Mauer's.

On the postgame, Jim Rice was talking and I was half-listening, and it took my brain a few seconds to process the sounds I'd just heard. A quack, and a fart. And then it hit me--Jim is known to use the term "duckfart" on the air. Did he really say it using sound effects or was I dreaming?

Finally, a guy named Monty commented on my post from the 9/9 game, saying he got married at the park that day, asking if I got a pic of him in the front row in center field. He showed me a picture of he and his wife for reference. I checked my entire bunch of pics from that night, and by random chance, I have a picture from before the game which they're in!

Check them out, at far left, posing for a picture in white shirts.

I love this stuff! You in the background of my shots, me in the background of yours, etc., etc. E-mail me with any fun instances or requests or whatever.

That Time O' Year

I've been itchin' to get that annual letter from the Red Sox letting me know my ALDS tickets (which I get for having a 10-game plan) are ready to buy. I saw the playoff ticket lottery announcement and I knew my envelope would be here soon (yes, they send an escargot mail, along with an e-mail). Yesterday, they got here. Today was the day to do the buying. The way it works is that they give you tickets close to where your plan tickets are, and you buy them within a week--there's no waiting room and it doesn't matter when you get them, they're already reserved for you. The suspense comes in seeing where your seats are and which game they're giving you.

This year: Home game 3. In other words, a game that cannot be played unless we have home field advantage in round one--but even then the series would have to go to a fifth and final game. In 2004, I got a game that didn't happen, and they gave me a chance to buy ALCS tickets. I'm hoping if this game isn't played, I get that chance again. So this could end up being a really good thing. However, the seats stink! Obstructed view, and out in the right field grandstand in one of the "not facing toward the field sections." Oy.

But I've gotten pretty good at getting playoff tickets, so maybe I'll get more besides this one, whatever it ends up being. I think of this now like I do the 10-game plan itself: I know I'll just buy a bunch of other games anyway, but it's good to have the guaranteed two Yankee games, the Interleague game, and of course, the playoff game. And tickets to give to friends and family. Wow, this post ended up being fairly emotionless. I should rewrite it, but, oh well. Too much technical info, when would I should be saying is just: Playoffs are almost here! Sweeeeeet!!!!!


Okay, the pics were just too dark but I shot some video:
It's funny, while we all waited for the players to come out, some people went by mocking us, thinking we were either the classic sweatpants autograph-hawkers or Ellsbury tweens. They didn't realize we were a different kind of crazy, the kind waiting to see the Red Sox rookies in drag. Above is Kottaras on the bus, dressed as a sailor. I guess it was a Wizard of Oz theme, since there was a Dorothy, a Tin Man, and Daniel Bard as the Lion--he appears below.

That's Beckett alternating between a cup of something and a bottle of beer and talking to Youk, along with the "Lion" (Bard) and the "Tin Man" (Bowden). This was the first year I ever thought about this ahead of time (they always do it on the way out to the final road trip), and I happened to have a ticket, so I fully planned on sticking around. I saw Kelly aka Sitting Still shooting--I guarantee she got much better shots than I did. And the news probably got better video--the players were only visible briefly across the street before boarding the bus. It's better when A. it's daytime and B. they come over and sign autographs in drag.

One pic from earlier--while walking from 1st to 3rd base pavilion, I passed that media lounge, and look who was in there:

Maybe more pics from the game and maybe more vids Friday night.

I go to one game on the homestand and it's the only loss! Two nights in a row the "strikeout with ball getting away" costs us. At least Beckett was Beckettier tonight.

But I knew going in I'd have the "win" of seeing grown men dressed like women. It was the annual rookie hazing day, and I hung around after the game to get some pics. I will post some in a few minutes and the rest tomorrow night. Warning: pics may not be very awesome, as it was night, and the players didn't come near the waiting fans.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I remember a highlight from the '80s where a dad holds his little baby out over the wall, possibly at Fenway Park, and the kid picks up a baseball from the field. The dad then holds the kid up in the air, while the kid holds the ball up over his head. The crowd cheers. And right before they cut to the next funny blooper, you see the kid throw the ball back. The way it was cut (at least on the tape I had--it might have been Warner Wolf's Plays of the Decade) almost made me feel like I wasn't supposed to noticed that the kid ruined the whole thing by throwing the ball. Well, as you know know if you're an American with Internet access, a very similar thing happened at a Phillies game. And I don't know where I'm going with this, except to say that it's about time this play went mainstream. I'll have to find that old tape.... Does anyone remember this?


Somebody (our oldest friend "Anonymous") wrote me a comment at 3:00 this morning telling me all about how the talk about policework in my book is wrong and how I really don't know what I'm talking about with my post about the Annie Le case. Fine, we can argue that stuff. Our publisher is new and let's just say my role turned out to be more than just "author"--ask Tom Clancy to edit, proofread, and take the cover photo for his books and see how they turn out. But again, that's something we can go back and forth on. But the thing that pisses me off probably more than anything else in the world is when he says:

"I visited your blog because I'm currently reading your book, am from CT, and wanted to read some Red Sox material written by a fellow CT guy. Not to read Monday morning QBing of a police investigation you know nothing about. Please, let the real life Rocky Patels investigate murders. You stick to baseball."

Let me tell you something, you shit-smearing, baby-butt licking, frog-penis stroking, child-molesting aunt-fucker. I'll write about whatever the fuck I want in my own space. This blog isn't here to impress you. Do you know that I've written this blog for five and a half years just for the pure hell of it, all on my own time, not one cent given to me by anyone? I'm allowed to do whatever I want, and you're allowed to go somewhere else to find what you want to read. Instead of finishing that copy of my book, why don't you use it as a pillow for that secret daughter you've been hiding in your backyard tents and raping? Oh wait, I wouldn't want to slander Anonymous!

So to sum up: I do what I want. Stop raping your daughter. Tell all your friends not to read my book or blog because I definitely don't want to be associated with them either. Go fuck yourself. (I know it's hard with an inverted penis, but you figured it out with that poor leukemia-stricken incestuous daughter of yours.)

You stick to daughter-raping, eh?

Frog dick!

Sympathy For The Angel

Aren't you afraid Mike Scioscia is gonna get a gun and just blow his brains out all over the field?

This whole thing is setting up pretty perfectly after a crazy roller coaster win tonight. Any of the little things I wanted to talk about from this game kind of don't matter anymore after that ending. It had it all: Each team trying to give the game back to the other, each team trying to take the game from the other, Mike Lowell running really slowly, and Mike Scioscia giving "the look" from the dugout.

Yankee fan comment of the night (from--surprise--"Anonymous"):

Magic number is 11 and possibly 10 if u guys lose tonight...chuck on those nuts fagget

And that has it all: Homophobia, cowardice, misspellings, and the one-word motto of 21st century Yankee fans: IF. (And like usual, the "if" didn't happen.) Classy stuff. Must be a Bleacher Cretin!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Toys Rn't Them

One of the people who's always getting pissed about Michael Vick is that Callahan* guy. Like, really, really mad about it. Totally disgusted. Yet today, his partner read a story about a giraffe who died on a movie set. The story said that a girl was protesting the movie-makers, holding a sign that read, "Animals are not for our entertainment." Callahan's response to this:

"Yes they are!"

He added with a laugh, "...or for eating."

This is what I'm talking about! These people that act so disgusted about animal torture don't give a shit about animals. Again, this is coming right from Callahan's mouth: animals ARE there for the purposes of entertainment or a meal for humans. That's his stance on the matter. He views animals the same way Michael Vick does.

He proved my point from the other day. That this whole thing is NOT about animals or torture, it's about seeing someone else do something that's taboo, and bragging about how much better you are than them because you know not to do it. If giraffes were household pets and dogs were wild animals only seen by Americans in circuses and zoos, I guarantee the same sports radio talk show guy would put on the same disguted act about the dead giraffe and the same "who cares, it's just a..." act about the dog.

I've often heard people say, "the people who seem WAY too mad about some despicable act might just be covering up for committing or wanting to commit that same act themselves." And I'm realizing that that's not quite right. It's more like they act extra-angry in an attempt to let others know that they wouldn't commit the act--not because of the act itself, but because it happens to be taboo at that time in their culture."

*it's either Dennis or Callahan, I still don't know who's who, but you know who I mean

Sox Win, Yanks Lose, Steven Wright In The House!

See Steven Wright in the crowd?? Jason Bay's bat is pointing at him. See this pic of me with Steven for reference. I didn't see every minute of the game, so I don't know if the NESN cameras noticed him (come on, he was on a hundred times!), like they noticed J Peterman, who was also in the crowd tonight.

So we're 6.5 back, 5 in the loss column! Very few runs being given up by us lately. Read about the Yanks' crazy brawl and fake-spark-finding here.

Francesa actually said what I've been saying about the Yanks today. He even used the word "concern." You got Pettitte feeling achy and missing a start (Andy didn't exactly drip with confidence when he was talking about his arm). You got Burnett diarrhea-ing the bed big time. You got their one pitching rock is CC, and he's not exactly Mr. October. Like the last eight years, they're built really well for a regular season, where you see a lot of crappy relievers and rack up runs. But a best-of-five where you're facing top pitching is a different story. Maybe they should think about just packing it in now and letting us AND Texas pass them! Who's with me??

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Steven Wright! At Fenway right now, behind right handed batters on the side angle. I live in such a Steven Wrighty world right now. And I love it!

2010 MLB Schedule Out

Start planning your '10 today:

The 2010 Red Sox schedule starting with the April page.

The 2010 MLB sked.

Okay, I know I always make fun of the people who feel the schedule is somehow "wrong" if it doesn't look the way they want it to, but come on, NO home series against the Yanks in the summer? It's the opening series, an early May one, and the closing series. I wonder if they could still change the opening series to New York--the team had said something about wanting that change since an extra week could apparently be integral in the field being ready by then, after the January hockey games....

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lobster Mobster

Click to enlarge:

Last time I brought this topic up, someone inexplicably took my message as "hey, it's okay to kill and torture dogs--we do it to other animals all the time!" So if you're confused, hint: it's the complete opposite of that.

I guess I've just been thinking about this a lot lately, since I'm still hearing guys on sports radio act like it's so despicable to torture a certain kind of animal (I agree), yet in the next breath they're pushing the steak house they own. I'm starting to think that some people aren't thinking of this in terms of: "how could someone do that to an animal" (as evidenced by the fact that they EAT animals), but rather: "I am so much better than a person who'd do something our society has decided is evil" (regardless of what that decision is). They get just as disgusted with people who get really weird body piercings, or with dudes who have sex with other dudes. In other words, it's not about the act, it's about how acceptable the act is. The equivalent person to the "average American" in some parts of the world wouldn't think twice about eating dog meat. That would be a case of the "average person" (where they are) eating dog, whereas if you did that here, you're far from average. Even though you're both doing the same thing.

And some people might say that the Vick thing is different from all of this because it's about the torturing. But come on, if some giant creatures came to our planet and started taking your children/mother/grandma away and said, "we're gonna eat them but we'll kill them in a really humane way," would that make you feel any better?

Anyway, don't worry--if you eat meat, I don't think of you as an animal killer. I haven't eaten animal flesh in ten years, but I do eat some of the stuff that spews out of them, like cheese and cookie dough ice cream. I'm just sayin', maybe we should all think about what's done to these animals for our pleasure and whether it's necessary. Or you can go do whatever.

I'm The Cabin Boy...

I finally named our palm tree. I decided to let the name come to me organically instead of just picking one right away. The name: Jim Palmer. "I just opened my mouth and out it came." And it works on three levels: 1. The obvious one. 2. As a nice tribute to Kim's dad, Jim. 3. Also can be in honor of our friend who is an Orioles fan. And Brian, who just moved to Birdland.

In other naming news, there's a guy who works in the cafeteria at my work who looks like Tim Wakefield. His name is Jim, and I figure his job probably entails some type of baking, so I shall call him: Jim Bakefield.


As soon as cameras showed Annie Le never came out of that building at Yale, wasn't it obvious that the poor girl's body was still in there? This same story happened in NYC a few months ago:

Woman enters building, woman doesn't exit building. Cops search Pennsylvania landfill, then later discover her body in--surprise--the building she never left.

Now, in this case:

Woman enters building, doesn't exit building, all her credit cards and later some bloody clothes are found in the building, and where do the cops go? Hartford landfill! How about thoroughly searching the building, fellas? Well, now they have, and sure enough, her body was in there.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Double Sweep

Doubleheader and series sweeps! One run total given up by the Red Sox today, behind HH and Sid. 7 games back, but playing ultra-sweet ball as we head to month 10. Eleven straight losses for Tampa.

Don used the "reach out and touch someone" term to describe a hit by Drew today. Remember that old phone ad? I bet half the audience missed that one.

You know how people keep complaining about our road record, saying how it's some kind of red flag and that we really need to get to .500 on the road to prove we are truly a baseball team and yadda-cubed? Please note that only three teams in the A.L. have a better road record than the Red Sox.

Edited to add: Jim Carroll died! You may know him as author of The Basketball Diaries or from that song he did, "People Who Died." I saw him do a spoken word performance a few years ago at the Tune-Inn in New Haven. It was a highly entertaining as he read from his journals--I'll never forget him talking about being a kid and discovering that it feels really good if you lightly run your fingertips along your forearm. And I could relate! I, too, was an arm-rubber! In honor of the late Jim Carroll, rub your forearm tonight. If it doesn't feel good, you're doing it wrong.


Yeah!!!!! A 3-1 W. Good things are happening! Dustin with a key dong late. Buchholz looking better and better.

CC hasn't been great today--Yanks and O's tied at 3 in the 6th. Guthrie got out a huge jam which is why that game is still tied. And A-Rod just got himself ejected for arguing a call from an inning earlier. I'd love to see the O's pull off this sweep but it is the Orioles--that game could be 16-3 in five minutes. But I'm holding out hope....

[Update, 4:22: Took a little more than five minutes, but I almost nailed it. Yanks go up 13-3.]

Two hours till game two!


I don't get to use my "Nine? Nein!" title, because the Red Sox finally scored 9 runs in a game in 2009. 9-1 Jupiter Pluvius-shortened victory. 7.5 back. Again, I "wish" there was no wild card and the entire organization was hell-bent on steamrolling back and winning the division miraculously, but, of course, I know we can win it all by getting the wild card, so if we get that, fine. But still, I'm rooting for the division! Even if the management is resigned to just getting in the door. But then if we win the division and lose in the ALDS, it was all pointless. See why I hate the wild card? My main goal has nothing to do with the regular season.

Kim and I had to take a little emergency cat-related trip tonight (don't worry, complete stranger, they're fine). When we got in the car to start the ten-mile drive home, Alex Gonzalez was stealing a base. When we got home, he was up again! Nice eight-run inning by us. Even if Pedroia ruined it by diving into first. Granted, he looked safe anyway, but it's always seemed obvious to me that running through a finish line gets you there faster than sliding on the ground before it does. The only reason you slide into second and third is because you can get tagged out if you run past it. It's the fastest way to get there without going past. Unless you're avoiding a tag, don't slide into first! That's the second time he's done that recently. I wasn't too pissed since we were up by so much. Still, a replay of that would have been nice. And I should point out that Dustin DID do something he normally doesn't do--keeping the tag on Fey-Rod when he slipped on second base and fell off. Unfortunately, he put his hand on the bag immediately as he fell and was safe anyway.

And speaking of stuff I've complained about that our guys do--Jacoby made a nice tag-avoidance at the plate recently, but then he did have a blunder (though it probably was Hale's fault) between third and home on Wednesday....

On Gonzalez' three-run double, NESN didn't show the third run score. Which I would've been all for had they been showing a closer play at another base, knowing we knew the run would score easily. But that wasn't the case. They just kind of showed a wide shot of the field, omitting only home plate so we never saw that third runner score (even though I knew when the ball landed over the outfielder's head that three runs would score since there were two out. But seriously, that cameraman that sits behind the plate above the screen must be a rookie. He just never knows where to point that thing! I'm not even gonna close these parentheses, it just seems pointless now....

That Thayer guy pitched! Didn't I take a picture of him at a PawSox game this year? Pretty sure it was the same guy.

A sweep tomorrow and a Yankee loss makes it a 6-game deficit! Do it!

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