Felix threw 6 innings and gave up a run on 3 hits. Miller, Padilla, and Aceves each went a perfect inning. Cody donged. Pedroia extended his hitting streak to 13 games. 4-1 easy win.

Bard goes against Masterson on Mother's Day tomorrow. With all the talk of Masterson's wife's cookies, I never thought to actually try some. So I found the site. Kim and I just might have to grab two dozen (if you buy two dozen you get a Justin-signed card).

Update: Later, on Providence's channel 10, they said this:



Our first winning streak in "nearly a month"? The last one ended April 28th. Do the math, ass holes. In the report, the guy made a snide remark about going ahead early "for a change." We went ahead in the first inning the game before and never trailed after that.

Speaking of news pricks, when I heard about the Papi car accident yesterday, I went to Shitter to see if I could find updates. And one FUCKING COMEDY GENIUS named Tim Caputo of some Boston station said he's just glad that Ortiz "made any contact at all." Great joke about the league's third leading hitter, ass face.

Remy and others living with cancer were given plaques on Cancer Awareness Day:

I guess it wasn't Logo Awareness Day!

Cleveland @ SOX, 7:10. Zach vs. Felix.

Heidi Watney cheered the Red Sox on to victory tonight from the front row behind home plate. Clay gave up just a run...until the three runners he left on base scored. Still, an encouraging outing for him. Hopefully we can keep this momentum going. One day at a time, mofos, and by June we should be a-rollin'. Getting back to .500 is the first step though.

I'm normally all for stuff like this. "Hey, let's release an album of Fenway Park-related songs." Fine. Go for it. Celebrate Fenway in any way you can. But this album I just found out about almost seems like an April Fool's gag.

It doesn't have the actual songs (I understand rights and all that--doing it that way might be unfeasible), but "contemporary versions" of the songs. (With "Let the Good Times Roll"--a song I can't remember ever hearing at Fenway--oddly getting top billing in the article.) So right there you know it will probably be pretty bad, based on the fact that it's not the original, and the fact that it's probably someone you don't care for singing the song. But on top of that, they went and got players to sing some of the songs! At that link, you can listen to at least some of each track.

The album leads off with "Tessie," by...Kevin Millar! I love Kevin Millar, but he's not a singer. He sings a lot. But he's not a singer.

Then it's time for that age-old Fenway anthem, "Let the Good Times Roll." Not a bad tune--unless it's sung by the dude from Extreme. And Daniel Bard. That pompous guitar player from Extreme is also listed, so I assume he plays guitar--I can assure you I have no interest in waiting out the 15-second ad to hear what that sounds like.

"Dream On," which I assume counts as a "Fenway song" simply because it's by a Boston band, is next. Steven Tyler has a relationship with the team, so he could have just redone the song or granted the rights to the original. But why do that when you can get Jarrod Saltalamacchia to sing it? (Backed by a guitarist who I've never heard of but who's been compared to Jimi Hendrix.) I cringingly clicked on that one, and found that Salty does give it a heartfelt effort....

Skipping over two songs I've never heard of that involve Gammons, a guy from the J. Geils band, and Ken Casey of the Dropkicks, we've got "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," sung, or more accurately, announced by Jerry Remy, along with a choir of little kids who sadly don't completely succeed in drowning out Remy's low voice. They botch the lyrics several times, too. The guy from Staind is credited, I assume he's on the acoustic.

"Sweet Caroline" is slightly countrified by some guy from Glee. Four Red Sox players are credited on this one, though I don't hear them in the clip provided. (Unless they're hidden deep below the little-kid choir on "so good.")

A song called "2007," by Youk, Ellsbury, and Pedroia, seems to be percussion only. The only thing I can think of is that it's supposed to sound like the "bullpen band." But then why would no pitchers be involved?

A guy from the Standells, a guy from the Band Boston, and Alfredo Aceves team up on "Dirty Water." I can't tell who does what.

Someone I've never heard of does a song called "Fenway Park" that sounds like a children's song. Is that what's going on here? Is it supposed to be a children's album? Because if it is, it's almost justified. But I don't think it is.

A reading of "Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu" closes the album. A serious piece? Time to call in the comedian! Mike O'Malley appears here, along with Jim Lonborg and Curt Schilling.

I give this album 0 out of a possible 100 Gedmans.

Monday is the day they announce the Bryant Park movie schedule! Despite always looking forward to going to NYC for at least one of these, I haven't been able to actually go the last two years. This year, I HAVE to do it. Can't wait to see the list this year....

Sox-Tribe tonight. Let the unprecedented, historic win streak begin!

Despite Beckett barfing out barf-balls to home plate which were promptly re-barfed to the outfield and beyond repeatedly, we still had plenty of baserunners and even had the tying run up at one point after being down 7-1. But we just kept stranding. 18 miles of baserunners. We left 'em loaded twice and left two on twice. Gotta hand it to old pal Derek Lowe. If we're gonna lose, might as well be to people we like.

Ya think Damon was glad he didn't have to hear his name announced tonight?

Tonight they're honoring the Tom Brunansky catch. (A video with an actual view of him catching the ball recently surfaced with, terribly, little fanfare.)

You've also got old friend Derek Lowe starting for Cleveland, so you can give him a nice hand. (Johnny Damon is also on the Tribe now, so you can take out all your recent frustration with the team out on him! Saw PeteAbe on NESN yesterday trying to shame fans into cheering for Damon. But that makes sense, as he knows quite a bit about being a Red Sox guy, then turning around and going to work for the Yankees, before slinking back to Boston assuming he'll be liked. Boo both their asses!)

And of course it's the first game without Carl Beane. Who knows how they are gonna play this in the long run. But I'm sure they will have a tribute up on the board tonight.

Tickets are cheap, weather's not half bad...I happen to not be going tonight, but I recommend this game!

As for the Brunansky thing, NESN keeps telling us about different nights in May honoring players. Bruno tonight, Wakefield on the 15th, and Trot Nixon on the 28th. I'm wondering where this info is posted. I don't see it on the site, not even on the "promotions" part of the schedule. Maybe these things would fill out the emptiness on this schedule. You'd think they'd want to let people know about this stuff! (There was a press release, I'm just noticing. But those things can get buried quickly.)

And I never mentioned the death of Maurice Sendak. Gotta love this dude. And not just because he lived in my hometown. I only found out within the last few months that his house was a bike ride from mine, in what the NYT calls "deep in the Connecticut countryside." Here's a funny (uncensored) interview he did with Colbert.

Previously unpublished sad photo of Carl Beane by Jere.

The "magic" is still in the air. A bizarre first inning gave KC 3 free runs. Lester had the third out, but the ump missed a third strike. Eckersley immediately said how we'd look back at that pitch should it become a big inning. But still, there were two outs, nobody on so that didn't seem probable. But it happened. Marlon Byrd missed a line drive right at him. I've seen this guy make so many bad plays in the short time he's been with the club, I'm wondering how he ever got a job in baseball as a center fielder. It's at the point where any ball hit to him, I'm assuming he won't catch. He came through again, as the ball bounced off his glove. Later, Ross chases down a long fly (the third would-be inning-ender) and he....kind of...catches it...but...not quite. He had it in his glove for two running steps, but as he brought the glove up, the ball flew out, at which point he caught it again...off the wall. The ump said no catch. When the inning finally ended, the Royals had 3 runs, and Lester had thrown a shitload of pitches.

Gonzalez would tie the game with a three-run double, but Lester gave up one more, making it 4-3 KC after 4.

We went to the 9th, same score. Red Sox get the first two guys on. Then Byrd is up there bunting, and on a 2-0 pitch, he gets hit in the hand. The ump said he offered at it, as Eckersley repeatedly failed to understand what Don was saying, thinking the ump was calling it a foul ball. Bobby V later said that the first base ump was telling his players it was no swing, but the home plate piece of shit um refused to ask for help on the play. Should have been bases loaded, no outs. And I'll just go ahead and assume we protest the game, and it's replayed from that moment. So there's no need to talk about the rest of this bullshit game. V called it a damn shame and that we should have won all three games in KC. The games we're losing miraculously will soon turn into normal wins. Just gotta hang proverbially tight. And maybe send Byrd to some type of Willie Mays baseball school.

At least the Yanks blew their game in the 9th tonight.

I can't believe Carl Beane is dead. One-car crash on a rural road today. The voice of Fenway Park silenced--so sad.

Kim and I got the news in the car coming home from putting flowers on her mom's grave just now, and we decided to turn on WEEI too see if there was more info. Nope, those guys were doing what they do best: taking some non-story about a Red Sox player and turning it into one, and calling the defenders of the players "fanboys" (yes, people who make a living off of grown men playing a game making fun of sports fans) and generally brainwashing people into hating their favorite team. It's funny, usually a death "puts things into perspective." But to these guys, it's never the wrong time to invent a controversy.

Every time I hear them turn nothing into something, I think of the time on The Brady Bunch when Greg was caught smoking, and Cindy and the other kids were like OH MY GOD HE WAS SMOKING! This odd re-mix of the episode gives you an idea of what I mean. Oooh, I saw Josh Beckett...and he...he...he was GOLFING! He was also eating food and drinking beverages, and...and...BREATHING AIR. Oh, and don't forget to ask other people with the team, like the manager, about the incident prefacing it with "if it happened," that way you can get damning quotes from them regardless of whether the story is even true, causing drama in the clubhouse! (Then blame them for having drama in the clubhouse!) Classy.

Time to blow up the Boston media.

And I'm not one of those people who says "people are dying, we shouldn't be thinking about baseball." Life goes on, and baseball, like all other entertainment, is part of it. But the bullshit surrounding it--that's the shit that doesn't matter, especially in context.

Carl Beane photos by Jere.

Just went through a giant box o' stuff. Found some drawings I made around 1992, age 16/17. Logos for baseball teams in the "New England Division" of a league I invented with a team in each state. I'm pretty sure this was a logo-only league, meaning no actual games were played (however that would have been accomplished). So here we go, in alphabetical order. Look for your state!

Connecticut Buzzsaw! My home state representin' with a non-S plural name, as was the trend for new teams in the early 90s. Not sure why that shape is used--maybe to make the saw blade look like a C. Also note that as a Connecti-Q-tian, I correctly included the little notches on the state map.

Maine Bugs! This one seemed like a throwaway--yet it was on the bottom of the page, with a few on the next page, meaning it was hardly the last one I drew. Like the Buzzsaw (and all the others), I see no actual connection between state and nickname.

Massachusetts Pizza! That's right, I couldn't spell Massachusetts. I still have trouble with that one, honestly. And I obviously thought the word would go nicely over the top of the plate, but ended up having it go way to the right instead of starting over. Check out the paper plate. And the pizzeria-style rendering of "Pizza." After having lived in Mass, I now know this team should have been called the Pizza Subs.

New Hampshire Slime Buckets! Okay, New Hampshire people, including my cousins, calm down. I'm quite positive I just did this because having a team called the Slime Buckets and then drawing the actual buckets would be funny. I could have used it for any state.

Rhode Island Grass Stains! As a current Rhode Islander, I am quite proud of the gritty bunch that is "the 'Stains." Batting glove in the pocket, stirrups on the ankles, and green on the knees.

Vermont Porcupines of Death! Ooh, artsy. Or, it was the last one and I wasn't about to attempt to draw a porcupine. Also, this, RI, and CT all have the logo inside a weird shape.

Finally, the boring division logo. Now where's that northern CT notch! I still say we should fight Mass to get that piece back. And one more thing--look what had been living inside the notebook at one point:

We led by one going bottom 8, but couldn't hold on in KC.

Bard was staked to a 2-0 lead but had a shitty 2nd inning: He balked twice and threw a wild pitch, leading to a 3-run inning. Besides that mess, he had a great start. We got the lead back at 4-3, but he walked two to start the 8th, and Albers came in and gave up a 3-run dong to William Assler.

Middlebrooks got another double in his first at bat, but the hamstring tightened up and he left. If he gets an extra-base hit in his next game, he'll be the only guy in history to have one in his first 6 games.

And incredibly, NESN still has not learned how to spell Vicente Padilla's name. I showed you how they messed this up in April, and as you can tell by the current stats, they've done it again tonight.

Dice-K pitching for the Paw Sox last night. Click 'er for bigger.

A portion of your 2012 Pawtucket Red Sox.

I liked seeing the kids' reaction to seeing the Paws up close/personal.

Matsuzaka throwing in the outfield. He seemed like he was moving in slow motion. Free and easy. Don't know if I was noticing it more or if he's actually gotten more deliberate than he used to be, which is hard to do.

Here he is again, in a picture that doesn't really need a caption. I mean, I could say "here he is from the set position," I guess.

Talking to the catcher via the translator.

In the bullpen. I thought this game would be somewhat of a "madhouse" due to Dice pitching, but it wasn't at all. Still, they kicked me out of the good seats when I tried to go there. TOTAL BS. If Fenway allows it in a sold-out game, McCoy should allow it when 296 fans are there.

Bruno! I had checked the Rochester roster and saw he was the hitting coach. Brought a card of his to get signed but the opp. never pres. itself. (Though you can see the stuff hanging on the right side, waiting to be autographed, a McCoy tradition that even made it into the mural at the local Trader Joe's.)

Dice on the mound, Jeff Burroughs' kid on first. And Lars Anderson playing first. On April 24th, Burroughs and Anderson both pinch-hit in the Red Sox-Twins game in Minnesota. And here they are both in AAA facing off again.

Kapstein, aka Mr. Rhode Island, at the game. (If you're reading this 50 years from now, yes, the big club was on the road--in fact, this game started at 6:15 and the Red Sox-Kansas City game didn't start till after 8:00, so there was time to see Dice-K's start and make it home to watch the other game. That's what I did, anyway.)

Behind the plate action.

Dice cruised. He'd only given up one hit going to the fifth. Then he got mad over a call and ended up giving up a double, and then he was done. As you see below, he got a really nice hand:



I knew I'd be leaving early, but it still stank that as I walked out through the parking lot, I heard a large cheer, then music, then the PA guy say it was a dong for Nava. Damnit! Also, I took pics of other Paws, but I figure you'll see those after any Paws game I go to, and this was about the Dice rehab, so I pretty much limited it to those pics.

Two-dong night for Middlebrooks, and we're back in the win column. And Eck actually said "dong" on the second one, as the ball hit the foul pole.

With a late 7-4 lead, we had 2nd and 3rd, no outs. The next three guys made outs. I was pissed. Then right away, the Royals made it 7-5 and had the bases loaded, but Padilla, in for Doob, got a huge double play to end the inning. Then we tacked on a bunch more and the losing streak was over. 11-5 final.

I saw Dice-K pitch earlier in the night at McCoy. (That game was 6:15, so I was able to see the whole Dice performance and get home for the big club's game.) He did a fine job. Will post pics later.

And yes I am loving having a Sox player with a Shawshank-y name like 'Brooks. The possibilities are endless!

Funny thing happened in the 3rd inning yesterday....

For "whichever team's playing the Red Sox"! Like I said last year, this team has found some incredible ways to lose games. When you go to the park, you never know what brand-new way the Red Sox will find to lose. If we'd won half the bizarre games we've lost in the last two years, it would be the most magical run in baseball history. Instead, it's "other team magic" that keeps getting the best of us.

So today we had Buchholz pitching for excrement again. But "Brooks was here"--Middlebrooks hit a game-tying grand slam when things were looking bleak. Then after Salty dropped a foul pop (the batter then got on base on a ball off Padilla's glove, so he actually hit two fielders' gloves in one at bat but still reached) and threw a ball into center leading to the O's taking the lead, he atoned and tied it at 6 in the 8th.

And then nine innings of baseball were played. Both teams had plenty of chances to score but no one did. I finally had to leave for a show at 7:00. The game started at 1:30. We heard Pedroia make a great catch in the 16th in the car. Then the O's brought in a position player, but we couldn't score. As we looked for parking, Byrd tried to score the winning run from first on a double, and you could tell by Castiglione's voice that he just wasn't gonna make it. Tossed out at the plate. Then we parked, and when we got inside the place, I checked Kim's phone, and it was 9-6 O's in the 17th. Now Darnell McDonald was on the mound, and he gets out of it with no more runs allowed. But we were still facing their position player, so anything could happen. And it almost did, but still didn't. We got the first two guys on, but then Adrian struck out to go 0 for 8 in the game. A double play ball ended it. 9-6 loss in 17. Now we go on the road. At least we win games away from Fenway! And it's KC, where they can't win at home either. All signs point to us sweeping.... Or the Royals pinch-hitting with an elephant who hits the game-winning home run off Marlon Byrd's head to cap off a 25-run rally bookended by perfect games by an unknown minor leaguer and a washed-up journeyman, or something.

Yesterday was a rare day where I completely missed the game. I guess all I missed was Cook finally being called up after all the build-up, horrifically injuring his leg, and having to go to the DL, but not before giving up a bunch of runs in a blowout loss to the Orioles.

Don't think the Yankees recent shittiness isn't making it much easier for me to deal with the Red Sox recent shittiness, though.

Sox vs. O's, 1:35. Don't lose.