This is pretty much the way things are anyway....

In case you didn't hear, David Ortiz will be back with the Red Sox in 2011.

In case you didn't hear the backstory, I'll fill you in: The Boston sports media is a big pile of horse shit. For some reason, after all-time Red Sox superstar David Ortiz had two bad months in early 2009 after coming off an injury, they decided it would be fun to brainwash all of society into thinking his career must be "over," as if someone that good could just suddenly completely lose the ability to hit a baseball. Within minutes, your casual fan co-workers were telling you that David Ortiz was finished!* Papi ended up having a great last few months, proving the media had made a huge yet ratings-getting blunder. But the next season, a mere 30 days of Ortiz hitting at sub-par levels led the brainwash fest back into the limelight, almost as if they'd forgotten how it had been thwarted the year before. At this point, around May 2010, I was still listening to Boston sports talk, and can specifically remember Gary Tanguay saying with the utmost Jon Sterling-level pompous certainty, that we all know that this is David Ortiz' final year with the Red Sox. That piece of turd wasn't alone. And in fact, even when the media realized Papi's career wasn't over and would admit it, they'd still tell me daily that "no one could have predicted this." My favorite was when Orsillo or TC or Remy would say it, because they work for NESN. And before 2010 started, I was asked, along with some other bloggers, some questions for a NESN article. My answer to who would have the biggest offensive year for the Sox was David Ortiz. So not only did "someone" see it coming, but that someone said it right on NESN's fucking site.

By June, I'd completely boycotted the Boston sports media. I had meant to do a post about this (along with one about Ortiz' 2010 season), so, here they are wrapped into one. Let me tell you that it's been a world of rainbows and cotton candy not having to ever, and I mean that literally, hear the "big show," Dale, Holley, the morning racists, the entire 98.5 crew which ended up consisting of dudes you already hated from their previous jobs like Tanguay and Felger and CHB and the shit-i-fied Tony Mazz. Or to read the creeps at the Globe. Ha, it even took me a few seconds to think back and remember those names! I mainly just listen to music and a little bit of the FAN. Online, I just read other blogs (by real fans, not Dirt Dogs--that boycott started looong ago, does it even still exist?) and the team's site and not much else. And then I just watch the games, in person or on TV, even ignoring most pre- and post-game action, depending on what's going on. It's fucking great. It's hard when I hear somewhere that Shaughnessey's ruling the team out of contention in August or some shit, but it's so much better to ignore. I mean, sure, part of why I started this blog was to have a voice against all this shitty media. But at this point I can't take it anymore. Hopefully over the last 6 1/2 years I influenced some people to not believe everything they read or hear. If I did, my non-paying job is done. I can't wait for 2011, my first full year without the Red Sox' #1 enemy, the Boston sports media.

(Yes, I know the team chose not to give Papi a long-term contract, just to bring him back for 2011 for now, but, again, all these ass holes were sure there was no possible way he'd ever play in Boston past 2010.)


*The best was when this casual fan near me at Fenway last year asked in a depressed tone if Papi had even hit one home run yet. He had about 8 at the time. Just goes to show you how the media puts something into people's heads and it stays there. It has nothing to do with reality, just perception. And if they're powerful enough to permanently make people think one of the best hitters the Red Sox have ever had is a bum, then think how dangerous they can be in the real world. I mean, Tea Partiers think Obama was born in a spaceship or something. If Rush says any five words more than once, it becomes truth to millions of registered, toothless voters.

It's been a while since I didn't take a camera to a sporting event. But I didn't tonight, at the Celts-Bucks game. Crazy night up at the top of the balcony. First there was a big fight with dudes throwing blows and tumbling 10 rows down the aisle. Then there were two sets of girls making out with each other--one just once in a failed attempt to get on the jumbotron (the chance of getting on there seems to be the main reason 75 percent of fans go to these games), and the other basically all night, in all different areas, letting people around them take their picture. Talk about a attention-wanting phase. We decided this whole section was a high school group or something, as they all seemed to know each other and moved around freely, kissing and fighting and dancing on the jumbotron.

In the second half, the little girl in the family of six next to us fell asleep. She sat in her seat in her purple dress, arms at her side the way you'd sit a doll in a chair, dead asleep, through the rest of the loud game, which went to overtime. At one point the mom was taking pictures of the girl, while Kim and I sat next to her, eyes closed, in the same pose.

Toward the end, with the Celts down by a few, I asked Kim if we'd ever seen them lose. She said she didn't think so. They came back and then won in OT, despite blowing a late lead in the final minute. We got to see Paul Pierce score his 20,000th point, too.

None of the Fenway tickets I get are going up in price in 2011. So my 10-game plan bleacher price will be the same. Basically, only rich people are affected, but not even by much. Very cool. Once we missed the playoffs, I knew there was a good chance of this happening.

Also, Xmas at Fenway (no non-Xians allowed!) will be December 11th. I was really worried they'd Steiner-ify this awesome event but it doesn't look like it.

The answer, for Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo, is a resounding "fine." Congrats to Mad Dog, one of the finest Yankee-haters there is, on his team finally winning it all. And congrats to all the older types who have liked the Giants since they were in New York and who therefore hate the Yanks, too. And to all Giants fans and players, except....

...that douche Edgar, for being a World Series star, then coming to my team and forgetting how to play baseball, then being a World Series star again. Terrible job, Edgar, terrible job. You're truly a National Leaguer--the "warning track power" of...leagues.

But yeah, congrats to all non-Edgar Giants and fans, and the tolerant city of San Francisco.

As a far lefty, it's annoying to me that our side has to have a rally just to try and move things back toward the middle. But I guess I'm thinking of Saturday's event as kind of a first step. And maybe that's what the whole "restore sanity" theme is referring to. But regardless of all this, I'm a huge Colbert fan and a Stewart fan, too. So as soon as I heard they'd really be doing this, I cleared my cal. and planned a trip to DC.

I did a great job getting to NYC after work Friday to have dinner with Chan. A Merritt Parkway detour meant I was briefly back on my old driving grounds--the Hutch, which I used to take from Ridgefield/Danbury. It was like ridin' a bike. On a highway. The trip to my Philly hotel room was not as fun. Three separate parking-lot traffic jams on the Jersey Turnpike meant I didn't get to bed until 2, and I had to get up before 7 to get to DC. But I made it there by 10, hopped on a Metro at a station 20 minutes from the Capitol, and entered the mask of huge manatees on a beautiful day in ONatCap.

They were herding us down the Mall away from the stage--but I saw a break in the barrier and took a left turn into the crowd. If you look at the overhead shots, you see the stage, then crowd, then a cross street, then a lot more crowd extending AFATECS. I was right behind that cross street, right in the middle. A great spot on paper, but it was pretty hard to see anything on the stage. I had these two old people in front of me, who thought it would be a good idea to balance themselves on those vinyl fold-up chairs. That was an adventure. But it gave me a little breathing room in front of me in the sardine can.

The Roots started the show. They made a really funny video that I can't believe is almost 15 years old, but they haven't really excited me since. Then John Legend joined them and started singing about god, and I started to wonder if we'd all been had by Glen Beck. Then they brought out two of the "Mythbusters," who proceeded to bore us some more while the crowd behind chanted "louder" over and over. So it was a bad start, but things finally got going when John and Steve got up there.

Okay, this is getting long and you've probably heard all this already in the last news cycle, so I'll skip to my favorite part: The Train Trilogy. To my shock, Stewart brought out Cat Stevens to play Peace Train. In mid-song, Colbert interrupts, and says he needs a different kind of train, and brings out Ozzy, who breaks into Crazy Train! Stewart then cuts in, citing that the Crazy Train is "going off the rails," and Stevens starts playing again. Eventually both songs are going at once, and they finally stop them both and bring out...The O'Jays! Love Train! I'm so impressed with the idea alone--but they took it to the next level and actually got the original artists. And considering one of them was recently not even allowed into the country makes it even more amazing.

Stewart's final speech and all the riffing on our fear-dominated society were great. The line that summed it up for me was, "we're living in hard times, not end times." And of course there were a lot of great signs, most mocking the utter stupidity of most political signs. Nice to be around so many people who "get it."

Then I found Brian, who now lives down in that area, and got to hang out with him and Jen and their awesome cat attack of Milo, Henry Rollins, Jellybean...and....who have I forgotten...ah yes, Kurt, god bless, Kurt. No, that's not it. Crap! I'm sure he'll remind me.

Then it was back to NYC in the middle of the night where I had to wake Chan up to let me in at 2 a.m.

It was now Halloween. And since I knew I'd be in New York on Halloween, I made a point to stay for the Village Parade. I went to this twice before, but this year just seemed over the top. It would not end. And I was fine with this. So much good stuff. I shot a lot of video. You'll see it eventually. In fact, I did mostly video in DC, too, which is why this post isn't accompanied by pics. The video still thing is always weird. Even though I used that method for past Halloween Parades. So it got to be 10:00 and Chan and I just had to leave--we were sore, my filming hand had frostbite, and I had to work the next morning. In Providence.

On my way to work this morning, the first thing I heard was a fear commercial. Granted, the sports talk host who was doing the spot put his own tongue-in-cheek spin on it ("sleep apnea is very serious, if you have it, you could die, and if you die, you'll miss Jets-Lions"), but it was still disappointing to hear. That whole rally wasn't pointed specifically at righties, but at idiots. This country's got problems, and it would be nice if people could come together to solve them. I'm still pissed about a lot of stuff, but nothing's ever gonna change if people just stay on their side of the fence and don't even learn their neighbor's names.

The Colbert/Stewart rally in DC was great. The Village Halloween Parade in NYC was also great. Both were huge. I must have seen a million different faces this weekend. I slept 2-6 on Friday, 3-1 on Saturday, and 3-8 last night. I'm gonna write about this stuff soon, but in the meantime I can report that Mario & Luigi are alive and well in Halloween costume land.

Much like in that Geto Boys song*, Halloween falls on a weekend this year. So that means all the parties/costumed fun is concentrated to Friday through Sunday. I was driving around Manhattan at 2 a.m., and there were people on every corner, all over town, all in costume. And it wasn't even Halloween night. (Though unlike the song, it was close.) Also, 80% of other drivers and everyone inside a cab were also in costume. Exaggeration level is only very slight here.

The reason I was driving around Manhattan is because I'm on my way back from DC, where I went to the Colbert/Stewart rally. It was great. If I were you, I'd bet on me talking more about that soon. I'd also prioritize your wagering ways--college football first half spreads are probably a safer bet than bloggers' content.

MIssed Game 3. But I understand the Yankees still weren't involved. So that's a win.


*At least we are led to believe it did. I'm pretty sure the dude was hallucinating the whole thing. That's what I've always taken from it. Then again, maybe the day of the week of Halloween was factual, just the story surrounding it was a weird dream. Wow, that was the nerdiest review of a hip-hop classic in the history of footnotes.