More on tonight's game later, but if this thing gets called, we win with...nine runs! A five+ inning game to get that elusive nine would feel like cheating. I want the Sox to get 0-13 fair and L7. But if we do get nine, it'll mean 15 of the 30 teams will have done it. Quinn's Indians got the 13 runs they needed to complete the circuit earlier tonight. Considering only about half the teams have done it as of mid-September, it's even more amazing that the Phillies got all 14 totals in their first 24 games. I wonder if that's a record. The Elias Sports Bureau says about that: Even we don't care!

The Yanks, with Pettitte and Burnett, have lost their last two games (at home vs. the Orioles) by a combined score of 17-7. Yanks starting to smell that fall air? Ooh, I have another possible excuse for Yankee fans to use later--"we were just so amazingly good that we got too far ahead, so we weren't ready for the ALDS. So it was only our awesomeness that cost us."

So we can make it 7.5 with a win tonight, and then if everything goes exactly perfect tomorrow, we can be 6 back. Last time we were 7.5 back with three games played in one day, we fell to 9 back. This time we gotta get the 1.5 games going the other way. But we have to win tonight first. We can win the World Series from the wild card spot, yes, but might as well keep rooting for the division until there's absolutely no chance left. But the key is, the Yanks aren't as set up for the playoffs as everyone's assuming. Not saying they can't sweep right through, but there's also a chance they win their CC games and no others and exit in the first round. I'm psyched for an anti-Yankee rooting October. If they don't blow this division lead AND fall behind another team, too.

So I turned on the Nebraska game on the Internet (it's free to hear the radio call), and one of the first things I heard was a commercial: "You're probably thinking about your crop production...." Kind of reminded me of when I first got out there for college and I saw all these Tornado Shelter signs and thought they were fliers for a band called Tornado Shelter.

So we played a game for a few batters, and then waited and watched GoodFellas for 2 hours, and that was that. Friday's game will be Sunday noon, and Sunday's game moves back to 5:00ish. Yanks got killed, though, which is nice. 8.5 back, but in playoff pazish anyway.

I think this could be the biggest excuse-year from Yankee fans of the current era of awesomeness. Think about it, they always feel like they should win, and with the money they have, they should be every year. But this year, they're all getting really confident, again not realizing that racking up runs against shitty teams does nothing for you when October starts. So they're gonna have some good excuses ready as to why in 2009, they truly were the best team, and were meant to win, and that it's such a shame that some lesser team won. I'm just sayin', prepare for it now.

Also, I just got Pixies tix. Sweeeeet....

Heard just now on the pre-game, from a female voice, I'd guess Amalie Benjamin, who didn't know she was on yet: "I'll squirt it all over your face." Male voice: "Hee hee heeeeee!" So...Dev. Rays at us, 7:10, rainy.

If Jeter gets a hit tonight, what are we going to refer to the "old" 9/11 as?

Got a comment on an old post about the "BUCK PRINTING CO." ad from someone whose name is Buck, and therefore must be part of that family. He's looking for pictures of the sign. I figure I'll help him out and post this to see if anyone has any. His e-mail address is in the comments of that post.

I also got an anonymous comment on my last post which I rejected. It was the usual, well, let's just say Yankee fan spam is like a Jeter base hit, the same old dashed off tripe over and over. But this one made special note to tell me that among Jeter's qualities that I'm jealous of, he also "pulls pussy." More classy talk from Yankeeland. Oh and he also said that I wish things were "the way they were before." Classic. Yeah, I'm really sad about this fucking utopian baseball world during this eight-year-long, extended Yankee choke! Can't ya tell??? This would be the second-best stretch of baseball in my lifetime even without the Red Sox having won TWO championships in the middle of it. I guess that guy was going back to the old Michael Kay psychology: winning would be the worst thing that could happen for Red Sox fans. It's funny when people say the exact opposite of the truth. But that's being a Yankee for you. They can't help it, they're just born thinking only good happens. If it doesn't, pretend it does.

So there was this guy who used to play pinball and they gave him all these awards for his scores, even though the scores he would pass weren't really numbers that anyone knew anyway, and also, he was tilting the machine to get the scores, and on top of that, these scores never really led to his pinball team winning like they did in the past, but he still got the award for highest score on Tuesdays and also highest score for guys whose names started with R on Tuesdays, which I kinda felt was the same record but this guy was just really classy so he really deserved a plaque a day, and that's what he got, because everybody wanted him to be a champion so bad they just figured if they kept giving him stuff for no reason they could live in a beautiful fantasy world with marmalade clouds and gummy bear dogs where the tastiest treat of all was the giant edible chocolate plaque for best clapping for other pinball players.

No, this wasn't my real seat. But after the three-run seventh that make it 7-4 us, a bunch of richer folks headed home on this school night. More pics from the good seats below. Click to fun-ify.

Hadn't been to Fenway in a while--I had tix to at least three August games that I couldn't go to. Since I've been gone: Some new signage went up, the bullpen guys don't walk out to that pirate song any more, and there are like ten guys I hadn't seen in a Sox uniform live before. Above, the Kap'n (Jeremy Kapstein) and Cap'n Kirk (William Shatner aka the Orioles' manager).

Some bear was on the field. I also saw a Nutcracker.

Alex Gonzalez. Back and somehow even awesomer than before!!!!!!

Another new but old Red Sox, the man whose name is a fitting mix between "pall bearer" and "all bored," Paul Byrd. He pitched well and left in position to get a W.

Another new Red Sox alert: Joey Gathright.

And another new one: Billy "Hey Mommy" Wagner.

At one point on 09/09/09, the Red Sox, 9 games out, and the Orioles had 9 hits apiece.

Yes, it's yet another Red Sox player I was taking my first picture of, Victor Martinez. Before I could take another, he (pinch) hit the first pitch he saw for a tie-breaking, three-run double. So I had been up in this standing room spot, with really inoffensive people around me. A newly engaged couple who were co-scorekeeping--she was still learning but picking up on stuff fast. I told her tonight would be the only time she'd ever score a Mike Lowell steal. Also, the guy knew his baseball, which is getting rarer and rarer these days. The guy to the right of me with his kids knew a little less, but they were fine, too. And one of the kids had a Whalers Starter jacket on. I just don't like being surrounded by drunk assholes, but they usually find me in any crowd. Oh and the guys to the left were Japanese, and were also un-obnoxious. And for this undesirable game, the standing room crowd was really only one deep, so no one behind me. One of the best "surrounding fans" nights ever. Oh, and I chose that spot since it was out of the wind, and it worked. Never even went to my jacket--it stayed in the pen (tied around my waist, aka Ninety-One-in' It) all night.

But still, I left them as soon as I knew I'd get a good seat down close. Here's Bard.

Considering how often we play the Orioles, you'd think I'd have more pics of Brian Roberts, yet I feel like I never see the guy in person...

Youk.

Youk tying his shoe.

"You want a piece of me???"-- Allan Wood

Tito after bringing in Papelbon for the four-out save.

Dustin with no beard or eye black.

Moon over Fenway.

Youk's crazy bat-holdings.

Fenway on a September night from the field boxes. (That's Cla pitching to Bay. Meredith is doing his "Billy Crystal imitating old baseball films" routine.)

Dusty Brown has flipped me a ball at the last two baseball games I've been to. Except this one.

The moon IN the light tower! I don't know why my camera decided to capture the individual lights so clearly, which helped this photo out immensely.

Probably my favorite non-Sox player, Nick "What Drew Should Be" Markakis.

Papelbon. And below, Papelbon again. Good night. Oh and happy birthday to my sister, but she probably doesn't read this crap.

It's September. The regular season's almost over, which means it's time to start looking at some of the idiotic predictions people made before the season. I've been waiting to share this one with you since February. I was following the first spring training game (against Boston College) on Extra Bases, when some moron called Nosey Nate said this (2:03 PM):

"Everyone will say..aww its just one exhibition game, but mark my words..this will be the Sox big problem all year..scoring runs"

As of September 8th, two of the 29 other teams in the majors have scored more runs than the Boston Red Sox. Next February, Nate, go skiing. In known avalanche areas.

We beat the O's as we should tonight, 10-zip. HH did a fine job, and we peppered the pocket of air that hovers above the AAA sign. A six-dong night, two for Dustin. Still 9 back, though.

Okay, so somebody at mlb.com wrote an article about the number 9, since tomorrow is 9/9/9. The headline is "Baseball revolves around number nine." Fine. But check out the subheadline:

It's everywhere, from innings in a game to players on the field

WHOA! Wwwwowsers, Penny. That is deep...how many on the field again?

You know when my band toured the country in 1999*, we got to our last stop in smoggy L.A., and there was a sign on the door saying that our show was canceled--the owner and everyone else decided they'd rather go to the 999 show! The weird thing is, I had just bought a record of theirs before we went on tour, and on the sleeve was a map of their U.S. tour. I wonder if THEY got to play L.A....


*it was really 2001 but for this post's sake we'll call it 1999.

One out of four in Chicago. That is incorrect. Here are two games at home against the Orioles. Two wins on a silver platter. Take them.

Beckett vs. Buehueehuhuehuehheurle, 2:0somethingorother.

And I'm looking for George and Tara from Westwood, Mass. Remember them? If you were on vacation in Puerto Rico with me in 1987 you would. George would go around using his hands like crab claws calling them "my boobie twaps." When my sister--who was 15, three years older than me--asked George if she and I looked alike, George innocently replied, "Yeah. Except you got wittle wed dots on your face." Ouch! Then me and George snuck onto the roof of the hotel. Then we never saw them again. I do remember they were from Westwood, though, because I later noticed in the Welcome to the Jungle video some stock news footage of fires with "Westwood" on the screen. Which I found out to be Westwood, California. But anyway, anybody out there grow up in Westwood, MA? You know George and "Tawa"? Shoot me an e-mail. Next week: Dan and Lisa from Suffern, NY. And maybe that girl from Torrington.

Before the season, I was pissed at the way some writer nonchalantly called Jon Lester was the "co-ace" as if everyone felt that's what he was. I'm about the biggest Lester fan you can be, and always have been--I just thought that was a little disrespectful to Beckett. But if Josh keeps pooping the pull-out, people are gonna start calling the Lymphomatic Lefty the ace, if they aren't already. A fine performance from Wicked Lester in Blow-town today.

The game only looked a little shaky when "Hey mommy, it's your phone sex ad" gave up a dong to make it 3-1 in the eighth, but Vik-E Mart gave us a key insurance homer in the 9th, and we win 6-1.

Yanks got sponked by the Jays, so we're back to 7.5 back.

I'm wondering if this week the Red Sox send me playoff ticket info.... Since I've (somehow) changed addresses during every year my 10-game plan has existed (except for 2006--the one year in that time we didn't make the playoffs), I always worry there's gonna be a problem with getting my ALDS tickets. In 2009, I have not moved. Nothing to worry about. Just gotta get the team into the playoffs. But that shouldn't be a problem.

If Ichiro goes 1 for 5 with a walk in his next 6 plate appearances, his career MLB numbers will be:

PA 7000
AB 6000
H 2000

For a .3333333333 average, of course. This guy's 35. Can he play 11 more years, getting 200 hits a year? That's about what he'll need to challenge the man who gambled and lost repeatedly...at the barber shop.

Ichiro had 1278 hits in Japan, meaning his combined total should pass Rose's mark in about five seasons. So that'll be cool, I guess.

Red Sox against the team that really stinks but that we seem to be failing against, 2:00-esque.

Crappy Red Sox game today, which I saw most of before heading to the last Pawtucket home game of 2009. Click pics to enbig.

This was my first solo Paw game, so I went around and got shots from different angles. I had a voucher that I was supposed to exchange for a free GA ticket. When I got there, the crowd was so huge, I didn't think there would be any tickets at all. Some people were even passing me, going back to their cars, asking if they could get their $2 parking fee back. I assumed that meant they'd gone all the way to the ticket office and were shut out. So you know what I did? I just walked in. There was a gate, it was open. I went through. It kind of stinks that I wasted a sneak-in on a game I had a free ticket for, but still, it really may have been sold out, so I was glad to be in the building.

A Syracuse batter does the Jeter Jackknife.

Keep staring at this picture and you'll see the sky through the backwards bear. Or try this version:

Weird. Moving on...

Vaquedano kept looking up and smiling after I took his picture once, so I took this one.

From out in CF.

I liked the view from the ET Grasso Knoll. I should sit out there next year. On a less crowded day.

I swear I didn't square this up so Dixie Chicken would be the centerpiece. Didn't even notice the shirt until I got home and uploaded.

Looking through the back of the visitors' pen.

This dude was warming up. See video which doesn't capture how fast he was throwing below.



Lopez somehow pitches at every Red Sox and PawSox game I go to. Hey, if I'm supposed to be saying "Puh-TUCK-it," am I also supposed to call them the "Puh-SOX"? I like the "paw" syllable in general, so I'm going with that in both cases.

Friend of the family Jeff Natale, after his double that put the game out of reach.

So I knew ahead of time they were having the "last game celebration," so I planned to go down by the home dugout at the end. I went down, and watched as the announced the '09 PawSox for the last time.

The low-number crew, including the last shot of Carter in a Red Sox uniform. He was interviewed before this line-up, and talked about throwing out baseballs, which is what turned out to be in those bags. I was hoping to "get stuff," and it turned out that was the "stuff."

So the intros ended, and they went to throw their balls. I was right where I wanted to be. And I caught the first ball thrown! Dusty Brown came right toward me, and lobbed it up, and I snagged it. That was great, because then I could enjoy a pressure-free throw-a-thon, just watching it all and taking pics. Actually, another ball went between me and the woman next to me. I knew I'd be giving it to her, but I caught it anyway. In that split-second before she realized I was gonna give it to her, I could see the anger in her face, before it turned to joy. Below, the video of the free-for-all:



And here's the soft little ball:

If the PawSox had thrown the ball this season with the enthusiasm they showed during this fan-toss, maybe they'd be in the playoffs right now!