I saw some article saying that the Yanks would have this dream rotation if they added Dan Haren to their already "formidable" rotation. Their next five starters are Mitre (who already shit the bed today), Hughes (5 and a half ERA over his last 11 starts), TBA, TBA, and TBA. (But that's when you happens when you do a "news" search but Google gives you results from the bullshit sites instead of the real ones. Which are also bullshit.)

The point is, with them getting injured and starting to bed-shit as Burnett and Hughes have been, and with us coming back from injuries, we should be able to gain on them. In fact, as Jon Lovitz-as-Michael Dukakis once said, "I can't believe I'm losin' to this guy." Or guys.

They went down 6-0 early, but have cut it to 7-4 against the un-trust-able Royals. We play late tonight. Should finish up in time for Metal Mania.

Interesting weekend, last. Kim was selling her soaps at ArtBeat in Somerville on Saturday. Then I had the game Sunday while she had more soap-selling. But my mom and my sister and her four kids were doing a whale watch in Boston on Sunday, so they got two hotel rooms in Boston Saturday night. So Kim and I got to stay there, and since Kim had such a successful ArtBeat, she blew off her Sunday show and went to me with Fenway on Sunday. Above, view of the (what, capital? State....house maybe? I don't know Boston, only the area around Fenway).

The construction out by Gate B is done! Shoulda known it would be a store. I like the way it fits in with the park and is glass, though. The above shot is coming through Gate B and looking left.

Here it is looking back toward Gate B.

And now standing next to the new store, looking down the right field line toward home plate underneath the stands. If you went to the right and into the stands, you'd be right near the Pesky Pole.

I don't think I've ever gotten this shot before, where it looks like the light tower and the Pru seem to be one/the same.

I thought this was odd, each of our top five in innings having no thirds, all ".0".

Three birds and some lights.

July 18th, 2010. A hot-ass day, a loss-ass loss.

Good to see Victor Martinez on the field.

Dusty Brown with the bog club.

The new "Teammates" statue from up inside the park.

They had Sox players tossing out balls because it was the 600th consecutive sellout. At this point we decided to go up to the SRO to be in shade for the game. Bleachers would have been way too hot.

Clay tossing a ball.

There was a red heart balloon on the field for a little while, but no one cared.

Here it is by the Pole. It was an interesting study in wind currents--that balloon blew way out almost to center field, then came right back to the foul line.

Late in the game we sat behind the plate. Here's Youk. We lost. I'll have some vids for you later about something weird from this game.

And from two days earlier, my cousin Amy took some shots for me:

Always good to see NY Sox fans! (Even if they're still using the old logo.

And did you know people ran on the field during that night's rain delay? I gather they got them faster than the Camden Yards crew. (Note: I have linked you to the vid in an article where the writer thinks running on to a baseball field with your clothes ON is called "streaking." I swear sometimes I can hear this country getting stupider.)

It's always a sweat-job these days, but we've taken the first 2 in Seattle. Beckett was fine in his first game back. We win, 2-1, despite many missed opportunities at the plate. I can't wait till our top three, hell, just any ONE of our top three in the lineup come back.

Weird, I mentioned Butt-Head recently, then tonight I learned that Mike Judge is bringing Beavis & Butt-Head back!

Google Image Search is weirder and I think better now. It's cool to search Jere Sox and see a montage of pics made/taken/uploaded by me.

Finally, check out this video I made--while Bill Hall was hitting a key dong for us:

Know what I don't like? Soccer. Some people don't like it because it's not "American." I think for me it's because I just don't like kickin' stuff. Or being told I can't use my hands! Can you imagine a word without hands? You couldn't play whack-a-mole, or make guacamole. Pie-eating contests would remain the same--I'll grant you that. But how would we masturbate? And then imagine while desperately trying to whack moles without any hands that the person trying to stop you WAS allowed to use his hands. That ain't no kinda life for me, Royal.

If I could change soccer, I'd cut the field in half. Then in half again. I'd disallow kicking. No feet! The game would stop when the clock runs out. The sidelines would matter. The ball would be softball-sized. No offsides, if they have that. No goal keepers. Then I'd give up and play baseball.

Now recently you may have noticed this thing called the World Cup, along with a soccer game at Fenway Park. I'm not gonna tell you I gave the sport an honest chance--but I did watch a little. A verrrry little. I ignored the WC as much as I could, shit-eating-grinning when the U.S. tied that anticipated game against the Brits (are their backup players called the UK Subs?), because it meant all the people that got suckered in to the thing ended up with what soccer games always seem to end in--a tie. Then I rooted against the U.S. some more just so it would go away. But they lost and it didn't go away. Now obviously I rooted for my mom and dad's respective Peace Corps countries. Cameroon fell short and Uruguay almost went all the way...but, still, I wasn't watching at all. Not one second. My dad told me that one match was one of the greatest sporting events of all time---this coming from the man who raised me to hate soccer. So maybe there was this amazing stuff going on, but to me it looked like nothing more than a surveillance camera of the Great Lawn in the summer: a bunch of humans on grass, some occasionally moving, and a sphere rolling slowly along the ground. Well, it would have if I had watched.

Then the final game came. It was a weekend day, and I was sitting at home. It was the second half, and I thought, Okay, I'll put it on the TV and do other stuff, and at the very least, I'll get to see a team become a world champion, and it could be a last-second (but we wouldn't know when that last second is because soccer is so incredibly stupid) win. And that might be cool, because I kinda like sports and games after all.

And it really did come down to the final moments! And finally, with almost (we presume) no time left, a goal! But guess what?! I was completely unmoved! I don't even think the crowd noticed! I sat there with a straight face like I was watching a documentary on Nothing.

So you might say I didn't gave soccer a fair chance, but if "world championship-winning goal in final seconds" didn't do it for me, I don't know what would.

Then Wednesday night, I had to tune in to NESN to see what Fenway looked like with a soccer field on it. I hated that our infield was green! And the mound was gone! But hey, it would still be cool to see, I thought--you could put the camera on the right field roof by first base, get that exact high angle you need, and the backdrop of the Green Monster would be awesome. But what does NESN do? The use the center field camera-well! Facing the first base dugout! So the average person wouldn't even know it was Fenway at all! I guess they decided they'd rather have fans in the background--but I'm thinkin' their main reasoning was the convenience of using the cameras where they already were. But you know what? They still could have given us stunning views of Fenway. But no. It was almost as if they were trying to avoid showing us anything that might let the viewer know the game was being played at Fenway Park. The thing started with the ref and players ceremoniously walking onto the field. Yet the angle showed the home plate field boxes in the background--the whole time as they slowwwly walked out. Get that goddamn camera behind them so we can see them walking toward the Green Monster! So that's not soccer's fault, it's NESN's. It should have been their job to make people try to like soccer, but with me having just gone through a World Cup that did nothing but solidly reinforce my pure indifference to this boring sport, they only completely slammed the door shut on it. And I quickly switched to Sanford and Son. And I don't even like Sanford and Son.

So, yeah, soccer fans might tell me I'm threatened by it, I don't understand all the intricacies of a 0-0 tie, or that I'm somehow xenophobic (I'm the type of guy who wears a CCCP jersey on the 4th of July so let's not walk down that boulevard), but I think in the end, I just happen not to like it. And I'm fine with it existing, I just won't watch. As usual.

This morning (Thursday)I came in to work to find a sticker with a big #13 on it, left for me by my co-worker. Later, we had a long discussion on the meaning of life, including whether or not we believe in "signs." Then we noted when the time was 3:13, as 3/13 is her birthday. Just a little game we play as the afternoon drags on. Then tonight, the Red Sox overcome 3 errors to win a 13-inning game, with the 13th run of the game being the game-winner, knocked in by Eric Patterson, wearing #3. Sign????

But my sweet lord who may or may not exist, what a nutty game. In case you were sleeping and for some reason depend on ME to tell you what went down, here it is in a "really big nutshell":

The M's score early, but without the benefit of a hit. So I didn't realize Lackey had a no-hitter until after the fifth. Then we added some runs, and the theme of the night was "Will this easy win be a no-hitter or not?"

We go to the 8th, and it's 6-1 Sox. Still a no-hitter. He gets the first guy. Gets the second guy. Light-hitting old friend Josh Bard then bloops one in, and the no-hitter is gone. But we get out of the 8th, still up 6-1.

Delcarmen comes in for the 9th, up by 5. He gets nobody out. Quickly it becomes a close game, with the M's helped by Scutaro botching a double play ball. Pap comes in, and with the bases loaded, we botch ANOTHER double play ball--Hall throws it past Youk, and two runs score, incredibly tying the game 6-6.

But we get out of it, the team moping off the field.

The M's load the bases with one out in the 12th, but Okajima gets two pop-outs on two pitches to end the inning!

13th: With two outs and two strikes, at 2:fucking:00 in the morning mind you, Patterson hits a gapper, and two runs score. 8-6 us, and RamRam shuts 'em down to end it.

Ya know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna be an actor, and I'm gonna go up to the Movie Directors' HQ, and say to all the directors, "Okay, I've got a skill you've never seen before. You're all gonna wanna make me the star of your movies, so get your biddin' pants on. Ready? I...am able...to....

look at the road in scenes where I'm driving a car!"

I'm gonna be a big star....

Sox @ Seattle, past your bedtime. Remember what Butt-Head said about Seattle:

"If you're in Seattle, everyone you see is cool."

Heard a little of Joe Ba-dingo today, saying that Ralph Houk died, and that he was basically the first Yankee manager he remembers. And that made me think of how Ralph Houk was the first Red Sox manager I can remember.

Okay, I do have vague memories of Zimmer, but 1981 (age 5) was the first year I really collected cards/stickers, and that was Houk's first year. (Even though he wouldn't have a Red Sox card till the following year, but you get the idea.) I think '83 was the first year where I was really involved with following the team day-to-day on the radio, and that was the heart of the Houk regime. He just seemed to be the grandpa on the sidelines, watching over a mediocre team. '81 was a messed-up year. The '82 team was in it late, but weren't a factor down the stretch. The '83 team had a losing record. And you stunk if you weren't the Tigers in 1984. Houk led the guys who were between the great late-70s teams and the division/league winning teams of the mid-late 80s. But he'll always be my, essentially (really, do I even need an excuse to take titles away from Don Zimmer?), first manager.

Dick street.

We outhit them 12-6 but lose in 10. So dumb. Tomorrow's game's in the afternoon. Let's not have our heads up our asses then. That includes NESN producers who never know which camera to cut to. Get people who know the game, please. And once again Don watches the Red Sox walk OFF the field yet claims the A's are walking off as they pour ON to the field to celebrate.

10 hits, and everybody in the lineup has reached base. In the 5th. That's a game you should be goddamn winning. Instead, it's 4-4. I switched over to Louie at 11 p.m. and it was 4-0. Switched back at the first commercial, and the A's had tied it.

Rays still going in the 13th. Yanks still got their asses kicked. Hughes, specifically.

Dear Whoever's Fault it is When Ads Come On Right in the Middle of an Inning,

Can you try extra-hard to never, ever, ever make that mistake? We get enough commercials plastered all over the broadcast as it is. Did everyone get that or was it my cable company? First out is made in the third, and we get two local ads and then one for the pay-per-view movie service, causing us to miss most of Coco Crisp's at bat.

Anyway, we're up 4-0, the Yanks got their asses kicked, the Rays are in the 11th, and Louie is about to start....

Sox @ A's, bad news for the Athletics, 10:07.

But also, Louie CK's new show at 11 on FX. I have yet to see it. I am puh....siked.

Dice rolls; Bridge it, Bard-o!; Pap smears. A 2-1 win, and we gain a half-game on first.

First time we got to stand and cheer for the final strike in over a week. I've actually been working on my "everybody up" routine, making it more grandiose than just standing up. It's evolved into almost a Christ-on-the-cross-esque dramatic performance.

You're welcome, early birds. We wise-ass owls did a fine job keeping watch over our flock o'Sox by night, I think.

Late nights this week. Eat it, early birds. We lead 2-1 in the fourth. Good to see Coco on my screen. More later.

Saw the 600th consecutive sell-out and LOSS today, will post pics eventua.

I've been to a lot of games and seen plenty of crowds get mad at an umpire, but I've never seen it like today, where the ump gets booed on every pitch after the call in question through the end of the game. (Granted, the play happened late in the game but still....) I saw the replay later and it seemed like a tie, but if he was out, it really affected the 9th because our guy on 1st with no outs woulda been the tying run, etc.

Ended up at a hotel in Boston that somehow doesn't have NESN. Watched extras at their bar. Key win with not that exciting WOSF.