Tonight, Chan & I saw the comedian Brian Regan at Caroline's on Broadway in NYC. This man could be the funniest person alive. I laughed so hard, I became light-headed.

Afterwards, we stopped at one of these public restrooms that has a seating area surrounding it. What are those called...oh yeah, Starbucks. Chan had his laptop with him. He turned it on to find that the yanks were down 13-8. Vasquez had given up eight runs.

A lot of people seemed to think that the yanks were "back," and would now pull away. How they got this from beating the Devil Rays, I don't know. You know, it was actually good that they swept the Rays. Not just because it gave the fans false hope, but also because now they can't complain that the whole hurricane thing cost them any losses--yet. They may still have to play one more at the end of the year if it's necessary.

Kay had Jason Stark on his radio show yesterday. He was the one media person, besides Kay himself, who defended the yanks in the forfeit fiasco. So they had a little love fest/interview, and then today, Kay got all up in arms about Selig being "irate" at the yanks. He kept whining about how everyone kills the yanks just because they're the yanks. He said if the yanks fed children in Somalia, people would still complain.

Well, Michael, they didn't feed children, they tried to make a team forfeit a game because they were stuck in a hurricane. Any team that does that is gonna get what they deserve.

So hopefully we won't have to hear any more about this, especially since the yanks swept the series.

Sheffield was 0 for 5 tonight, which doesn't help his New York media-aided MVP run. yankee people seem to think that Manny and Ortiz will split a lot of votes, giving Sheffield the award. What is this? That episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Willis enters the High School Beauty Pageant, figuring all the guys will vote for him,while the girls' vote will be split among the female contestants?

How about this theory--Sheffield gets a fourth place vote from every writer, and finishes behind Manny, Ortiz, and Guerrero.

1080 was barely listenable, but I did get to hear the Manny grand slam--his 40th HR of the year--in the car on 684 (home of the 684 UFO).

We're 2 1/2 back and the magic number dropped 2 to 25. I knew we couldn't sweep the M's, for the simple reason that Ichiro is on that team, and it's hard to beat a team with him on it 4 in a row. So hopefully that was the only loss. Tonight the Sox used 20 players in the 13-2 win. Good to see Trot, Pokey, Youk, and Williamson on the field--on the same night!

Randomly got sweet tix from a Met fan for Shea tomorrow and Monday, where I haven't been since that game where the Sox got 1-hit a few years ago. It's only an hour away, and I'll be able to strrrrretch out in my seat, and have a good chance for a foul ball. These are the first of my 7 games in 15 days: Shea tomorrow and Monday for a doubleheader--none of these games will cause me to miss a Sox game. Then Fenway on the 15th. Stadium on the17th for Sox-yanks. Fenway on the 22nd, and on the 25th for Sox-yanks again.

Last time the Sox won on the road on September 8th, they went on to the World Series.

Tonight, September 8th, an 8-3 win and a sweep over the A's. My first birthday win since '91. A nice present for me, as was getting to see the game, since it was on ESPN.

We're two back, and the magic number to win the division is 27.

I liked how the ESPN announcer came right out and said the yankee forfeit situation was a "new low for George Steinbrenner." Funny how that same hurricane is now causing rain-outs for the yanks, totally messing them up.

A few days ago, I heard Michael Kay say that the yankees had "far and away the best offense in the league." He might have even said in baseball, I don't remember. But even if he only said the AL...far and away the best? Check this out:

Red Sox: avg .285; slugging % .478; hits 1381; runs 794; on-base % .362; ops .840

yankees: avg .268; slugging % .459; hits 1261; runs 759; on-base % .353; ops .812

They do have us by 19 in HRs, and we have more K's--993 to 840, and we have about 25 less walks then they do. I guess it's those things--and who knows how many intangibles!--that make them "far and away" better than us in Kay's psychotic mind. Come on.

These yankee people need to stop saying things just because they want them to be true. It's either that or they're just very ignorant. They watch the yanks every night, and just don't see how another team could have a better offense--or shortstop, or closer, etc. It's like when Francesa said, "Rivera's the best all-time closer in the post-season because you couldn't do better than he's done." A statement that can only be true if his ERA was 0.00 with no baserunners allowed. I'll give the yankee media this: Of all the team they follow closely, the yankees are the best, and each of their players is the best at his position. Notice there's no 's' at the end of team.

And get this. Lately, they've all been saying how Sheffield knows what his team needs, and will sacrifice himself and hit to the right side, etc. I guess they've decided that since he's an MVP candidate, if they all just lie and tell everyone how he's this unselfish player who's not trying to pull a home run down the line every single time up, no matter what the situation, the rest of the country will believe it, because how the hell should they know? These guys see the yanks every night, it all must be true.

Stop with the ignorance and lies, Kay & Co. Actually, just keep lying, the yankee fans will see what's up in about 9 days. I'll be there on the 17th. It can't come soon enough.

The title of this post is from an old cartoon about a man who would sneak out of his house at night, then try to trick his wife into thinking he'd been there the whole time by drawing up intricate blueprints, with the help of his trusty pig, Milford, and then trying to act out the plan, always coming up short, leaving him battered and bruised, then yelled at by his wife and snickered at by his pig. Those were the days.

Theo, you're a genius. This whole defense thing really is important. It's nice to know that any ball hit anywhere near an infielder is now almost a guaranteed out. I used to say, "Defense? That's National League talk! Just aim for the Citgo sign." Now I see the light.

Tonight, we got Lowe out of a jam thanks to a double play, and Trup' and Castig' made it sound like there was a lot of fine leather flashin' goin' down. Next step is learning to bunt.

On a day when even yankee-lover Mike Francesa admitted that the yanks embarrassed themselves with their forfeit request, Michael Kay played the role of yankee-shill, saying that the Rays should've been there on time, despite the hurricane hitting their homes. He said the Rays are all rich, so they should have "simply" gathered up their families, booked charter flights, and flown them out of the hurricane's path. This coming from a dude who misses his own radio show half the time, because, well, I don't know, he's too tired. And he missed a lot of yankee broadcasts this year, I guess because he, the "voice of the yankees" didn't want to go to the west coast. He said that they were insensitive to the yankee fans who had to wait at the stadium. There's a lot I could say about all of this. But I'll narrow it down to this: I wonder if, on Osama bin Laden's talk show on September 12th, 2001, Osama said, "These rich players, they should be out on the field doing there jobs! A week off? What's with these wusses??". Nah, only Kay is that insensitive. Then to start the yankee tv broadcast tonight, he did this really sarcastic thing about checking inventory for the game: "We've got the bats, the balls, and wow, the other team is here." I can't believe this guy got a contract extension. Maybe when someone in his family dies in a hurricane, he'll apologize for this.

It was a split among yankee fan callers about the forfeit issue. Some said they should settle the division on the field. But one pro-forfeit lady said, "when my husband's got a business trip and there's bad weather, he leaves early, and I take care of the yard." Ma'am, your husband's soliciting prostitutes on these "extended" business trips. Good luck with that yard, though.

The yanks won by a lot, but it was still close enough, 5-2 in the seventh, for Torre to have to waste Gordon for an inning.

The Sox game just ended. 7-1 win. The yanks will be frustrated when they wake up and find that out. Trot got a nice ovation from the Sox fans in the Oak-town, as he pinch hit in the 9th. Tomorrow night we go for my first birthday win since '91. The magic number is 28, which is how old I am until 8:05 this morning. You don't need to remember that.

There's a difference between an incorrect call and a bad call. An incorrect call is when there's a play that could go either way, the ump makes a call, and is proved wrong by a super slo-mo replay. A bad call is when an ump misses a call because he was in a bad position, or he blinked, or was influenced by the crowd (like all umps at yankee Stadium are). I don't think there were any bad calls tonight. There were three incorrect calls, though. The Manny non-catch, Varitek being tagged, and Dave Roberts not being tagged. The Roberts play--the one that went against the Sox--was not brought up by the ESPN announcers. I don't know if the NESN guys caught it. All of these calls could have gone either way.

I don't care that Kotsay argued the Manny play. But how typical Oakland A's was the play where he purposely traps the ball in the outfield to try to prove a point? He could've dove for that ball. In fact, he could've just run a little harder, and put his glove below the ball, to make the catch. Just like Byrnes and Tejada in the playoffs last year--true Knoblauchian behavior. Assuming that all play will just stop so they can complain. And if something doesn't go their way, they just give up.

About the actual game--great job by Bronson, I thought, especially after the hard hit balls early on. David Ortiz, thank you for that HR, and more importantly, the three-run double. I love you, man. I also saw Manny give a double-point to someone in the crowd. Always good to see so many Sox fans everywhere the team goes.

After seeing the six 10:00 games in a row on the schedule, starting tonight, I was kind of pissed, because with the yanks playing TB, they can put the pressure on us every night. But we obviously didn't let that bother us tonight. Now I'm thinking how frustrating it'll be for the yanks waking up to find out that we kept pace.

Now let's talk yankee nonsense. They really are trying to get a forfeit out of this deal with Tampa Bay not making it to NY in time due to a hurricane. Steinbrenner, after the 22-0 loss, was saying how New Yorkers never quit, and even brought 9-11 into it, comparing the yanks to the resilience of New Yorkers after the attacks. Then his team is playing a team who's 20 games behind his, who can't get to New York, because a major hurricane has swept over their families' homes in Florida, and he says, Sorry, game time was 1:05 and you weren't here, we win.

I don't really believe in heaven and hell, but when that man dies, I know he'll be somewhere where he'll feel eternal pain and suffering.

The magic number is down to 29, which is how old I'll be on Wednesday. We should have Damon and Trot in the lineup, and we'll have Pedro on the mound that day. So hopefully the Sox will get a win on September 8th for the first time since 1991. But the key is, will Burks be back? Because like I said in my March 8th post, he was in the lineup the last time the Sox actually won on my birthday. And the last time they won on the road on my birthday, they went on to play in the 1986 World Series.

But that's two games away. Gotta win with Lowe first. Hope everybody's ready for 5 more late nights.

A lot of yankee fans will tell you, "That Sheffield always hits the ball hard."

Just remember, swinging hard and blooping a single to left, which the announcers refer to as a "line drive" because they were fooled by the swing, does not count as "hitting the ball hard."

I'm just sayin'.

Good win today, too bad the O's gave the yanks a game with errors and walks and poor baserunning or we'd be 1 1/2 back.

I'm worried that the Devil Rays are not gonna make it to the Bronx by 1 PM tomorrow, and have to forfeit. It's doubleheader, so who knows how this is gonna go down. But I swear to Jim Ed Rice, if MLB gives the yankees a win over the Devil Rays, because of a hurricane, I will be at the MLB office in New York...

Castiglione gave the history of The Standells, the band that did Dirty Water, on the broadcast today. It's so funny to hear those dudes talkin' music. Troup's a little bit country, and Joe's a little bit Rock 'n' Roll. Heh. I say that with sarcasm intended. The magic number is 30.