Friday, August 04, 2006

Eric Wedge Has A Facial Tic

All right! I'll say it! Eric Wedge has a facial tic! I can't hold back any longer with this cooped up inside! Facial tic! Huge...facial tic! It looks like he's giving signs with his face...'cial tic! FT! Prolonged, uncontrollable tic of the entire face region! First one to say it on the internet, right here! Google it, "Eric Wedge facial tic." Nothin.' But it's true, he has one. It's unstoppable. It's "pre-Blue Jays Joe Carter when everyone said the Red Sox should get him" powerful.

Put an X in the center square!

Tic! Tac! To-ny Bernazard, that is one helluva facial tic. On Eric Wedge. Can I get that on a wedge? Open face?

My lord, the guy could open for Steve & Edie at the Tic Toc Inn.

He should charge admission to that tic. Ticket price? Face value.

There, it's out in the open. You're welcome, baseball fans.


I just walked over to the East River on my lunch break. There was a lot of activity in the air and water. Choopers and planes whizzing about, and boats ripping the river in half. Then I looked up and saw a blimp. The Snoopy one. Usually when you see a blimp, it's just hovering or moving very slowly. This one was cruising down the East Side at a pretty good clip. But I couldn't even tell if the engine was on, or if they were just letting the wind take it. It was wobbling all over the place like a helium balloon released by a little kid. Or a person of any other age demographic, for that matter. It was pretty crazy. I felt like I was playing Time Pilot, but with all the eras overlapping.

Stern update: No word yet. But the article on says the player given to the O's would be someone not on the largebottleofmaltliqour-humanoid roster, and Stern is on the LBOML-H roster.


I heard last week that W refused to advocate a cease-fire in the Israel-Lebanon-Hezbollah thing. Now, after much more killing of innocent civilians and little kids, Condy has said yes to one. Doesn't this feel like that scene in Jaws, when the chief allowed the beaches to stay open, and then another kid got eaten, and the mom slapped the chief in the face?

I think all the families of the people killed since Bush's refusal to call for a cease-fire should get an all-expenses paid vacation to Washington, highlighted by their own face-slap of Georgie.

In "most unrelated thing to that I can think of" news: Don't you think the next step in "tornado chasing" will be going inside the tornado? Like, drive around where there's gonna be a tornado, and have someone in the van with a big padded suit and mega-helmet (definitely equippped with camera). Drive as close as you can to the 'nado, and have the Sumo-person hop out, and trot toward it. Their goal should be to get close enough to be picked up by the twister. I think that would be cool. How about it, tornado-chasers? Are you chicken?

In Adam Stern news, this Javy Lopez (hey, doesn't he pitch for us already?) potential deal could mean the end of Stern. This would be a sad day in ARSFIPT history. I'll always root for that guy. BSM has informed me that he's not in the lineup for today's Pawtucket game. But I'm holding out hope...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Big Bucks...Stop!

Beckett's gotta learn to stop pissing everybody off. He needs to get his effing head in the game. Maybe work on pitching instead of just assuming he's good enough to win and throwing heat all the time. It's like Roy Hobbs' dad told him, "There's nothing sadder than wasted talent." Or was that C's dad in A Bronx Tale?

Either way, if the guy had just pitched a tiny bit better, we win. Instead, we're in second place. I'm sure Yankee fans are fulfilled spiritually with their hired guns and payroll that's nearly twice that of ours. And if you're a fan of neither team and try to tell me that the Red Sox and Yanks are the same and both have a lot of money, well, congratulations, you've been brainwashed by Steinbrenner. (Or you're a closet Yankee fan.) All non-Yankee teams ARE the proverbial little engines that could. We'll love you when your team wins the World Series, because you're not the Yanks, and you should love us when we win it, because we're not the Yanks. (Guillen-era White Sox fans not included, you're on your own.)

Movie Dream One Step Closer To Reality

I missed the very beginning of the intro to the game on NESN tonight, but I saw they were showing highlights superimposed on the Monster, as if they were movies. My idea! As well-documented on this blog. Maybe my vision of sitting at Fenway and actually watching a "Monster Movie" will come true soon. Again, Lucchino, no money needed for the idea, just season tickets, please. Thanks.

Yanks won to the struggling Blue Jays, so we need to win to stay tied for first. I'm glad to have Don and Jerry once again, as I've gotten the NESN coverage this whole series.

Huckaby, aka the anti-Jeter, makes the start at catcher. But we may have a new cacther in Javy Lopez, if the rumors are true.

Youk leads off the game with a double, and now my TV has gone black. Stein-bren-nerrrr!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Yeah, dude!

Loretta does it again! Here's what I mean by "again":

Saturday: Loretta purposely strikes out, staying out of a double play, allowing Papi to come up and win the game.

Monday: Loretta poops out, to again get Papi up to the plate to finish off the comeback win.

Wednesday: Loretta does it himself, knocking in the tying and winning runs with a ball off the wall, knowing that Ortiz was suffering from GolSom Prison Blues (having struck out four times, aka wearing the Golden Sombrero).

And you wanted to trade him...

The magic moments keep on comin' for this '06 Red Sox team.

Now enjoy this footage of the Red Sox' Reggie Jefferson homering off the Yankees' Mark Hutton on July 15th, 1996 at Fenway. I taped this off of Channel 11 out of New York. This was Scooter's last year, but he's not announcing in this game. It's Bobby Murcer, and I want to say Rick Cerone. It's amazing to me how Fenway in 1996 looks like the sixties or something, with everything that's changed since then. Oh, and you can hear our female PA person in the background. Click the box below.

She's Fantastic/Made Of Plastic

Click this box to watch the Small Wonder theme.

Remember Small Wonder? If you're too young, basically it was an 80s sitcom about a dude who works for a robotics company and his family. He builds a robot girl, and she joins the family, as their sister and daughter, Vicki. She has super-robotic powers, and they can just flip the switch on her back if she ever gets out of hand. Red-headed neighbor Harriet is always scheming, leading Vicki's brother, Jamie, frustrated. We were supposed to find Harriet annoying, while Jamie was supposed to be the voice of reason. However, the kid who played Jamie was a huge over-actor. Terrible job, kid who played Jamie. I still want to strangle you. The jokes were always god-awful one-liners. And none of their guests suspected anything, despite the fact that the daughter TALKED LIKE A ROBOT.

Chan, Gumby and I used to stay up late every night in our college years, watching reruns of show like this. I think it was Mr. Belvedere at 3:00, SW at 3:30, and then sometimes I'd stay for Three's Company at 4:00. Those were the days.


I'm tellin' ya, people, slide on down to the Triple Rock and catch Reverend Cleophus. By "Triple Rock" I mean "Fenway Park," and by "Reverend Cleophus" I mean "the view from the pavilion seats."

The actual seats cost 90 bucks, but Pat and I got standing room up there on Saturday for 25.

You get a nice little shelf to lean on. The only problem is when everyone in front of you stands up, of course.

Looking down at the third base dugout.

You really get a great view of the city from up there.

This pic and the next one are digital photos as compared to the rest which are still frames.

So, click on this one and the one above, because they enlarge without getting all distorted, unlike the other ones.

We had a gym teacher in 4th grade named Mr. Zoppi. We'd always see him "holding up the wall" before going for his jog. Here, starting pitcher Josh Beckett pulls a Zoppi.

The back of the famous Fenway "1912" sign.

Orlando Cabrera is bald. He got a well-deserved huge ovation on Friday night, but it was more subdued Saturday and Sunday. Gotta love O-Cab.

The pavilion seats were built around the light towers.

That crazy bridge can be seen from up there. We were on the third base side. You have to specifically get those to get over there.

I love this shot. These kids, almost as if it was pre-planned weeks ago, simultaneously dove out onto the dugout roof. How did they even know Ortiz was right below them? They were quickly told to get up seconds after this. This shot reminds me of 1910s kids looking through a hole in a fence to catch a glimpse of Smoky Joe Wood or something.

Papi picks up Orlando, although it looks like O-Cab is making a flying tackle.

They pose in a way that brings back memories of the famous Warner Wolf/Andre the Giant interview.

Vlad joins the fun.

Some hugging and whatnot.

Ortiz swings.

How shitty were the calls in this series? Here Tito argues for the first time.

Hey, you, I know you.

Spin the wheel of fish, Weaver.

Orlando gives jason a tap on the foot with his bat before hitting.

At one point during the game, I looked right and saw Larry Lucchino. A bunch of dudes surrounded him and surely asked him some dumb questions.

Tito argues again. He just couldn't get ejected no matter how hard he tried.

Beckett's follow-through.

Nice catch.

Nice miss.

The Citgo sign reflecting in the glass. And you know how that game turned out. See my video of Ortiz's walk-off hit here.

The sun shining on one-third of Citgo's triangle before Sunday night's game, which I attended with my ladyfriend or what have you.

More Cabrera action. We were basically right below where I'd been the day before.

Hey, you're in the Kap'n's seat. Out!

Kapstein had the ESPN camera right next to him--between him and Drinkwater, actually.

The sun now shines on a different third of Citgo's triangle as it sets.

Schilling pitches with Cabby on deck.

Tito's pissed again. This was on a play where Jason Variek struck out, but went to first and stayed there til Tito was done arguing, despite that the umps called him out and the scoreboard agreed. He must've thought the cacther dropped the ball.

Cabrera. Again.

Okay, I'm down with Affleck, solely because of his being a Sox fan, and maybe a little for appearing in the groundbreaking Voyage of the Mimi, and that whole Good Will Hunting thing, but he could've cost us the game that night. He easily could've taken a foul ball from an Angel player--but let the guy catch it! TJ, Ben! The ball was in the crowd. Reach up for it, man. Garner is to the right, her face mostly concealed by the screen.

Lowell throws his arms up after the ump says he wasn't hit by a pitch when it clearly did.

As people started leaving this 10-4 game, we moved down. Were almost parallel with the Kap'n.

We were that close to Orlando.

The ump mocks a swordfight with Gonzalez, with Cabrera stuck in the middle.


Vlad and Youk.

Then I stopped in CT, and got to see my nieces and nephews, including Emmy, shown here. I know, how predictable is it for a blogger to start breaking out the pics of little kids? But, come on, some of us have really cute relatives.

So, that was my weekend. Now, we're tied for first and the whole team is either injured or Jason Johnson, it seems. Oh well, we'll pull through. So long as the umps don't only call pitches strikes to Yankee batters when they swing, like they did tonight. Welcome to New York, Abreu, where all the calls will go your way. There was also a play in our game where Youk slid into home and the ump decided to call him out, even though I was under the impression that "tagging" involves some type of contact between glove and human. And did you hear Remy and Orsillo announcing the movements of that bird on the field? Totally made up for the loss. As if Seanez wasn't pissed enough at only coming in during blowouts, he has to deal with the whole crowd reacting to a bird while he's pitching. Hilarious, in its own special way.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Big Papi

Just wanted to get this up before the rest of my pics/still frames from this weekend at Fenway. Click on the big triangle within a circle to play the above video.

Wow. What an amazing player Papi is. I'm sitting here uploading the video of him getting a walk-off hit, and meanwhile he's making that video old news by getting yet another one before I can put up the last one.

In case you missed it, Papi hit a three-run homer in the bottom of the ninth tonight, with the Sox down two to Cleveland. That pitcher wasn't getting out of the ninth alive. You could see it from the first hitter he faced. Wells was back and kinda stunk, but Snyder did great in relief. Wily Mo hit a ball that landed far, far away. Also, on my way home from Boston/Connecticut today (on my post-Sunday night game day off), I got back to Grand Central, got on the subway, and looked across from me to see...a sound-asleep Chan. That's right, I'd gotten onto the same train, same car, same door, as my roommate, who was on his way home from work. I woke him up and we got Mexican. Later. After deboarding the train.

Watch for my pics from the Ish. Oh, and good job by the Sox for not giving up the future for two months of some Suppan-like dude.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Look At All These Roaches

An hour ago, I heard Mr. Dunbar got Bobby Abreu and Cory Lidle from the Philadelphia "Would You Like Anything Else With That, Yanks? We've Got a Ryan Howard Burnin' a Hole In Our Pockets..."es for "a couple of minor leaguers." And I was pissed. I had no idea the "WYLAEWT,Y?WGaRHBaHIOP"s would be giving up both of those dudes in one trade.

But as of two minutes ago, the Yanks are actually giving up four minor leaguers. And I looked at Abreu's numbers, and was surprised at how shitty he's doing this year compared to what he usually does. Eight homers? "I wasted my whole day on you for EIGHT dollars?" You know who also has eight homers, and is hitting five points higher than Abreu? Alex Gonzalez. So, overall, whatever, we knew the Yanks would get somebody, at least they're giving up a lot more of their crappy farm system. You know if this deal goes through, they'll have to pay Abreu 22 million bucks through the end of next year? I think Steinbrenner knows he's about to die, so he's just throwing caution to the wind. Or something.

Pat and I got to see another Papi extra innings walk-off win yesterday. Pictures and video of all the fun coming Monday night, because tonight I'll be at Fenway again. Quick note about yesterday: I got to see Papelbon enter the game to his new song, "Wild Thing." When I heard about this, I thought, Well, it is a little cliched and obvious, coming from a movie that surely every baseball team has spent time quoting since the day it came out, and was done with Mitch Williams to the point where he actually gained the song's title as his nickname, but, whatever, who cares, it's a good song, and all that won't make me any less psyched to see Pap come in to a game. However, after seeing it happen live, I don't like it. Again, I like the song, but it doesn't work as a closer song to me. It worked with Rick Vaughn, but that was different. I feel like the song for the everyday closer needs to have buildup. "Wild Thing" just kicks right into the chorus. And later it has those slower parts. Kind of the opposite effect I'm looking for. I want to have the crowd cheering along with the buildup of the song. That way the song and the fans, uh, climax together. Doesn't work with "Wild Thing." Also, Papelbon was never wild.

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