Saturday, April 05, 2014


I always wanted to be in one of those "Gigapans," which are those pics of an entire ballpark which you can zoom in on. I was happy to see they did one yesterday...but it cut out the entire centerfield bleachers. Booo-jica. If you were there, and not in CF, go find yourself!

But then I saw on their site they had several games up which I attended. Sweet. Found myself a few times. I'll have to do another post about this, complete with close-ups of me and then my original photos from the spot you see me in, hopefully at the exact same moment. (Which is tough since the gigapan is made up of multiple shots which aren't taken all at the exact same moment.)

(Note: This is NOT a paid advertisement for Gigapan. If it was, would I be able to say that its owner and entire staff are members of the Taliban? No, I wouldn't.)

(Note: The owner and staff of Gigapan are NOT members of the Taliban. I only said they were to make a point. See previous note for point details.)


Had a great time at the home opener, with the rings and the flags and the Pedros and what have you. Too bad we lost. At least Teixeira got hurt. Will post pictures soon. I know it's a 2014y world where you want stuff NOW but I like to take my time and do it slow, you know, much like Salt 'n' Pepa in their 1990 hit "Do You Want Me."

In the meantime, I'll do that staple of 2005, which used to actually work on you because hardly anybody was posting cell phone pics to the web, the "tease," which in this case is a video from today which has nothing to do with your World Champions. Let's all take a moment to acknowledge an underrated Fenway character, "that vendor who carries a case of water on her head."

Thursday, April 03, 2014

What A Team (We Continue To Be)

Alone at the top! To start with a loss against a division opponent while two others are playing each other and the Yanks are playing Houston and to end that first series alone in first place is nearly impossible. But the Rays and Jays split four, the Yanks shat the bed, and we won the next two. So we go into the home opener in first place by ourselves.

Great job by everybody tonight. Xanadu is on fire. Papi is still Papi to no one's surprise. Same with Koji. (Though after tonight's game TC said that lots of people thought "everything was wrong" with Papi two days ago and that it was good to see Koji get some good performances in early to make sure last year "wasn't a dream.") And Jackie and Brooksie were key too. The pitching's been great, the hitting's been coming from all angles, everything is coming up Millhouse so far in 2014. We really could be 3-0 right now but we'll take 2-1 in first alone, a fact I continue to bring up well into paragraph two.

Bonus: I'd been waiting for the O's to bring that pitcher named Meek into a game with men on base. So I could say "the Meek inherited the runner." Which I did, I assure you.

Opening Day info here. Yes, I'll be there! I never miss a ring ceremony. (If you're looking to get in and still don't have a ticket, keep checking, I see they're showing loge seats available right now, but if you try to get them it says they're down for scheduled maintenance. So keep trying tonight and then in the morning. Looks like they're preparing to e-dump.)

Fenway improvements here. I'm curious about this new area out "above the bleachers" in right field. I guess it extends off the RF roof? Will see it tomorrow. And I gotta try that portobello mushroom sandwich. Actually I don't because it probably costs 12 bucks.

Belated Opening Day Photo Gallery

After a months-long (first world) struggle, I ended up here on Monday morning. My friend Brian and his wife Jen live ten minutes from Camden Yards now, and I hadn't seen them in so long that I actually had to dust off some birthday presents I'd been waiting to give them. I decided long ago I'd take this trip and just hope the Orioles would at some point release tickets to non-season-ticket-holders. If I couldn't get tix, at least I'd get to see my friends. After a sleet-filled (but also Ivan "Iron Man" Stewart's Super Off Road-filled) Sunday in the Charm City, I woke up Monday to find out that finally, but not until day-of-game, the O's dumped some tix. I woke Brian up and we frantically worked on multiple devices, and after some near-misses, came up with two standing room tickets, at $15 each. The lowest ticket price as of the night before on the crap-ondary market had been over $100.

At that point we knew we could leisurely drive over to the ballpark and be some of the first people in line at the gates. Beautiful day. And almost all Orioles fans. Their little plan worked, but they couldn't keep me out. We went inside, and after finding out that the left field seats were open only to, guess who, season ticket holders, we headed to the infield for batting practice.

Here I'm telling Brian that I must have taken more pics of David Ortiz than any other human being.

Castiglione out on the field.

Napoli's beard still in full force.

Xander almost got nailed with a stray warm-up toss. He and Grady laughed about it afterwards.

My official "favorite Red Sox," who unfortunately hasn't pitched in a really long time, Andrew Miller.

Two more world champs.

When we realized Papi was about to hit, we went out to the right field flag court where I got this shot of the original 1954 foul pole (I had no idea) from Memorial Stadium. Papi then hit a ton of balls out there, each one bounding up and hitting the warehouse and floating back down to a scrum of ball-wanters. One direct hit destroyed a glass, sending a hundred shards flying in all directions. It served as a nice distraction as I followed the ball as it went under a picnic table. Two other dudes got there first and were rolling on the ground amidst the legs of the people at the table. The ball squirted free and headed toward me at the other side, but finally one of the doofuses at the table reached down for an easy grab.

After BP we took a stroll upstairs.

This is looking out at the street behind left field. Had we not been able to get tickets, the plan was to "watch the game at a bar or something." After seeing this sight I was mega-glad we got tix.

Baltimore. And some of the football stadium.

Opening Day logo on the field.

Bootleg panorama.

Opening Freakin' Day.

An usher claimed he was a "cameraman" and took this shot of Brian and me, which I only brightened a little to keep a slight air of mystery.

Here we are 14 years earlier on our couch in Danbury.

Eutaw Street.

A close-up of a warehouse window. I did this for the reflection, and only later noticed the Ripken bobbleheads.

Bootleg panorama #2.

We went out to right field to stake out a spot at 2:00. The game was at 3:00. I was happy to get second row. Then the people in front of us left. Suddenly we were at the rail for Opening Day, for 15 bucks, after wondering for months if we'd get in at all. Above, the rolling out of the orange carpet.

Looking along the railing. Grady Sizemore would hit a homer about ten people to our right.

And looking left--we were the first people in fair territory, besides the camera men.

The view. Was 60 and sunny at game time, with wind. By the 6th, I was rolling up my sleeves. The sun was key, though. Shade people had a crappy experience on this day. But it was March after all.

Xander hugs Papi.

The Red Sox in the dugout.

Beard stroking.

New for 2014 for the O's: The 60th anniversary patch, and the Tom Clancy one.

Poor Emily, she's stuck with last year's jersey.

That bird with his flag.

Each O got his own fireworks.

Your 2014 Boston Red Sox.

First pitch of the season! If you can find the ball in this shot, you're good.

My favorite non-pitcher, Will Middlebrooks, playing "third base" in a shift.

Grady up, Carp on. And then I pretty much focused on the game and put my camera away.

Toward the end, we went to the left field SRO, and I was right by the bullpen mound. Here's Taz...

...and here's Koji. Too bad we didn't need him. Sox lose, 2-1.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Dead Last

Yanks lose to worst team again! Kuroda actually settled down after giving up a first-inning dong, but the 'stros led all the way and won 3-1. It's tough when almost every guy in your batting order is either a "who?" or a "he's still playing?"--but hey, the Yanks always do what it takes to win, except when they don't. Had one guy gotten on base in the ninth, Ellsbury could have ended both games. But we can't have everything.


Toronto: apparently 2-1, maybe this is their year!
Us: a solid 1-1, a full game up on the Yanks with 160 to play
O's: 1-1, on pace for 81-81
Rays: a not-quite-Yankee-like 1-2
Yanks: 0-2*

*both losses vs. Houston Astros**

**Houston Astros!

First Win O' 2014

In months like February, sometimes I forget how much excitement a win in months like April can create. Papi's mega-dong put us up 2-0, only to have Needlin' Nelson tie it with a dong of his own. But Napoli's usual centerfield powerdong made it 4-2, and his two-run single sent my living room into a frenzy. 6-2 was your final. We're 1-1, a half game up on the Yanks, who trail 2-0 in Houston as I write.

Before that game, the Astros honored Derek Jeter by kicking his bloop-singling ass into outer space with a cowboy boot, never to be heard from again. (This sentence is the first in a season-long series on how these spineless teams should be treating the Mediocre-est Blooperstar on his last trip to each of their cities.)

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Early Edge

AL East standings:

Red Sox 0 wins, 1 loss
Yankees 0 wins, 1 hilarious loss to the worst team in baseball

Good Start, Bad Result

I will post my pics from Opening Day later. For now here's a crappy-cam shot from our vantage point. Good job by Lester today, or at least it looked like it from right field. I had a sweet view of the Sizemore dong, and you can even see me raising my arms well before it goes out on the replay. Too bad all our other long flies fell just short today.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Holy Shit You Guys

After months of waiting and waiting the Orioles finally released some Opening Day seats to the public on the morning of the game. Meaning this morning. I'm in!  Sox-O's, 3 pm, look for me...

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Location: Rhode Island, United States