View Larger Map
Okay, so they let some crazy printing get through. But what does the USDA have to do with it? Are you getting your recommended daily dose of Google Maps?

The reason I was looking at this area is because I just learned that the border between Vermont and New Hampshire is the Connecticut River. It's the river named after my home state, but I never tracked it above Northampton or so, I guess. After doing more research about it, I found out its source is the "Connecticut Lakes" up in northern New Hampshire. Weird. It's like when I found out my friend Mike Leporati had a cousin also named Mike. How could there be another Mike Leporati?

Yes, I knew New England was named after England, though.... But Kim and I were wondering recently, Is New England bigger than England? I just checked. England: 50,000 square miles. New England: 72,000. Winners!

[Update: Have added second N to Connecticut in title post. That's the second time in recent weeks that I've spelled my own home state wrong.]

Here's an update on Beckett's back spasms that isn't much of an update at all. Of course, any time Beckett gets hurt, even if it's a paper cut, I blame devil-woman Suzyn Waldman, last year decided to note that the Red Sox could come crumbling down if, say, Josh Beckett fell down the bullpen steps and got injured. (As it turns out, he stayed healthy and the Red Sox went on to win the World Series while the Yankees were still putting ointment on their bug bites which magically only affect them and not other people.) So, terrible job as usual, traitor.


Very indirectly inspired by a post on Cardboard Gods, here's a clip from Silver Spoons from 1985 in which Rick and Alfonso screw around ON THE INTERNET. "Grocking?"

(not uploaded by me)

Update 4:05 PM: Sox give up three in ninth to make it 5-0, then score the two that would've tied it in the bottom half (on a Jacoby dong), and lose 5-2.

2-0 Marlins after eight. We've left runners on base left and right. And up and down. Josh Beckett had back spasms before the game, so he was scratched. Manny Delcarmen did great today, as did Timlin, while Hansen was Hansen, unfortunately. He gave up both runs, including an RBI hit by Hanley Ramirez.

Connecticut's own Craig Breslow is out of options, so I'm really hoping he can make this team. He gave up no runs over 1 1/3 today.

Ellsbury's 2 for 3, and Chris Carter is 2 for 2.

Dave O'Brien does a great Vin Scully impression. It's always weird to see photos from a current Red Sox game with sunny skies and short sleeves, while I look out my window to see a cold rain pounding down. But I like all kinds of weather, so it all works for me. (Except wind. Screw wind.)

Ooh! Tuesday, Mike Greenwell will throw out the ceremonial first ball on Tuesday!

...if you're watching the commentary on the Spaceman DVD. Great job by the people who made it, but the one dude says some anti-correct stuff:

1. It wasn't Eddie Murray who hit the ball on the highlight of Lynn making the great catch. It wasn't even Memorial Stadium. It was Metropolitan Stadium, and the batter was the Twins' Dan Ford. June 4th, 1977. (Lynn would go three for his next 31 after crashing into that fence.)

2. That guy next to Satchel Paige is not wearing an Atlanta jersey, it's an Athletics one.

3. That footage of Luis Tiant Sr. throwing out the first ball at Fenway was not from the '75 World Series. It was from August 26th of that season. The dead giveaways: 1. The patch! Luis Jr. is wearing it, and the Sox didn't wear it during the post-season, as any of this blog's readers could tell you. 2. No red, white, and blue buntings on the fences. Tiant's parents came from Cuba on a three-month visa in August, and stayed to watch the World Series, where Luis Sr. again threw out the first ball to his son, I believe. (They ended up staying another year, and both died in Massachusetts in December 1976.)

Speaking of dads, happy birthday to my dad!

We saw Jonathan Richman at the Middle East Upstairs tonight. I won't go on and on about him like I usually do, but here's a little semi-wrap up.

Vic Chesnutt opened. I think he made fans out of us. He had a great way of introducing a song, too: "You may have heard me play this song.... ...if you were in my ROOM!" So much better than, "here's a new song...." He also had a tune mocking people who act all proud to live to please their god or whatever, meanwhile treating everyone around them like shit.

Richman took the stage and immediately we got to see something unheard of: Jonathan Richman getting angry. Some dude in the front tried to "help" by repositioning the guitar microphone. Bad call, brother. Richman was pissed, but went right back to his innocent, smiling face. A few songs later, he apologized to us and the guy for getting mad. Besides that one moment that was some stupid audience-member, it was a great show. He skipped a lot of the classics, but it totally didn't matter. I love hearing his songs that I've never heard before. He always makes you feel like he's doing it off the top of his head, inspired by the setting he's in and the crowd around him. Then you later find out, Oh, that was an actual song.

Tonight, he did an anti-cell phone song. Almost as if Jon's been reading my mind, he sang about how when he's on a walk, he's on a walk, and you can't call him on his walk. When he's on the beach, he's on the beach, etc. I wanted to scream at the two stupid girls next to me who were checking their fucking phones all night, "and when you're at a Jonathan Richman show, you're at a Jonathan Richman show!" What were they checking for? Was a family member being held hostage, and they needed to be able to meet the people's demands, knowing that if they missed the call, the family member would be killed? (At which point they'd go to the funeral and check their phone the whole time anyway.) If you can't just allow yourself to enjoy a two-hour concert without absolutely needing to know if your friend called to say, 'wut r u doing', you have serious problems. Enjoy life, people, you only get one shot at it. Check your messages when you're dead. You'll find that none of them were important anyway.

3:13: Forget what I said about Tavarez, as he ended up getting hit. Also giving up lots and lots of runs today, Snyder and Papelbon. We're losing 9-2 and 6-1. "Tiffany" Ginter is 3 for 3 for us. Not too many other bright spots.

2:05: Clay gave up a coupla dongs in the first but settled down over the next two, and Tavarez hasn't given up any runs through two in his game. No runs for us yet in either game.

The game with the O's is about to start. The game with the Twins (the Buchholz game) may be delayed due to a "natural disaster."

Tavarez and Double-H both start for us today in the Land of Sunshine. May fortune smile up on them.

Whose hand is this?

(photo taken by me)

Pweezil got it. It was Doug Mirabelli. Here's the orignial photo, which I originally posted in my gallery of Buchholz' first start:



(kwiz inspired by one at cousin Kara's blog--she's moving to my home state!)

[also, late-night Clemens action. They're closin' in!]

If my post yesterday left you wanting more Sean McDonough news, here's a little piece about him. (Terrible job by the writer for not knowing Sean was on the air with Joe and Dave yesterday--today's ESPN call was not even the first time this week he was on the air during a Sox game. I'm sure most people were at work anyway....)

I still miss Sean's voice on Sox games. But you can always pretend Orsillo is McDonough in a pinch.

The Yankees' ace faced 10 batters today. Eight reached base, six scored. I'm sure he was just tryin' out new stuff..

The Sox give up 7 in the ninth to blow today's game. They also gave Papelbon a one-year deal worth 775 grand. (The initial number is always wrong--we'll see if it slightly changes.) The point is, they gave him a raise but didn't go quite as high as he would've wanted. In other words, exactly what everybody thought would happen.

We rocked D-Lowe today, and Wake pitched three fine innings. Sox 5, Dodgers 1 in the fourth. Too bad I'm at work or I'd be watching this on ESPN.

4:26: Lowrie thrown out at home to end the game. We lose by one. So glad this is an exhibition game.... And it's cool to be reminded of Red Sox-Reds games whose scores are 7-6.

3:59: Dusty Brown knocks in a run, cutting a 7-2 deficit to 7-6 with two down in the seventh. My favorite spring Red Sock of '08, Joe Thurston up now. Reaches on an error. Tying run at third now for Brandon Moss. Pops out. 7-6 Cincy after 7.

3:21: This is so funny. I'm so used to the straight-laced, play-by-play McDonough. But he's just freestylin', mocking spring training radio games and how none of us in the audience would know if they were lying, even saying to Dave, "care to make up a hometown or some hobbies for this guy?" He's really cracking Dave and Joe up.

3:11: McDonough on the air with Joe and Dave. "Beyond pathetic," is what Sean says about Clemens. Now talking about how back in the day, Roger would always have an excuse--never admitted to a bad game. Says that Roger has convinced himself he never did it. Sean mentions his father's nickname for Roger, the Texas Con Man. I thought Sean was about to make Joe uncomfortable with the "excuses" talk, but Joe just went with it, agreeing that Roger has convinced himself he never did it. We're still down 6-2. Sean on umpires: "they switch bases in the spring to even out the tan." Now claiming Joe has five estates around the country, battling Remy for most houses. Says Lowe will pitch against Sox on ESPN tomorrow.

3:00: Reds score 5 unearned runs in 6th, 6-2 them.

2:20: O'Brien and Castig continue to point out how bad the Reds' pitching is. We have six hits off of Homer Bailey. Okajima has pitched a perfect inning, and Lester gave up a run on four hits in three. Castig just called Steve Bartman "Bertman." 2-1 Red Sox after 4.

1:45: Out, three singles, out, and then Cash singles in two. 2-1 us after 2.

Update, 1:29 PM: The Reds have Drew T. Anderson and Drew M. Anderson. I'm rooting for T, as he went to college at Nebraska. (I hate how the three current most-famous representatives of my school and its state are Joba the Slut, Joba's sobbing dad, and fucking Larry the Cable Guy.) Now O-Cab's older brother is up for the Reds. He knocks in a run and it's 1-0 Reds in the second. Lugo's out with a back problem, today, and Papi has the day off as well.

Kevin Youkilis just made two outs at different bases on the same play. Gets a hard shot and touches first, then throws home and gets the runner on third in a rundown. Cash throws to Lowell, and Youk, remembering his pickle lessons from Little League, goes and backs up the catcher in the rundown. Lowell throws to Youk who tags the guy out at the plate, double play. This helps Lester get out of a jam in the first; Reds 0, Red Sox coming up.

Just another ridiculous thing about advertising: Sign on to shill a product, and you could find yourself sleeping with the enemy. Baseball bloggers already do it by selling ad space to the ticket agencies--the very sites that make ticket-buying an impossibility for many real fans. But that's voluntary. Here's another one I thought of where the people signed on to do the ads, only to be stuck promoting the enemy. As we get closer to baseball season, I'm starting to hear the ads for the ol' standby, Giant Glass. Many on-air personalities do spots for them. Listen to WEEI and you'll hear different hosts narrating the ads. Listen to the Red Sox games and you'll hear the Red Sox announcers doing them. Now, you know many of these people are Patriots fans. Yet here they are saying "New England is Giant country" in the weeks following the Patriots' loss to the Giants in the Super Bowl.

Obviously, if the company just happened to be called "Giant," it wouldn't matter. But Giant Glass is named after the New York football Giants. Dennis Drinkwater, aka Redford, aka Springer, owner of the company and Fenway front-row season ticket holder:

I've followed [the Giants] since I was 12 ... The Patriots weren't born then.

And you still might say it doesn't matter, but think about it, if you were asked to promote a company called Yankee Yardwork, which was owned by a Yankee fan who named his business after them, would you? At the very least, if you absolutely needed the cash and felt you must do an ad, wouldn't you at least go to Red Sox Raking Co. and see if they're looking for someone?

Of course, if you're a Boston sports personality and you aren't a Pats fan, and you do the ad, fine. It's just funny to think of these hosts, commiserating with fans, then having to take a break so we can all listen to that same host promote the other side, because loyalty is important, sure, but money will always be the most important thing. I'll grant you that it's not the same as them doing an ad for New York Giants souvenirs, but it's in the same realm. Actually, with all the ads they do for ticket agencies, they're making money for rival teams directly anyway....

Of course, I have no problem with Drinky the Kid following his multiple-city sports teams, as I grew up doing the same thing. What a great 2007 he had....

Thanks for your early response in the Manny 500 contest. I've updated that post showing who took what date, and which dates are left to grab. Go check it out if you haven't yet.

I guess that area above the left field grandstand that I took pictures of, with the tables and the big, blank sign, will be a new Coca-Cola sponsored section of Fenway. Their sign, which will replace the bottles that just came down, will be old-school looking, supposedly.

Three innings, one earned run for Dice against Pittsburgh today, as we win, 5-3.

[Contest is closed, no more entries please. Scroll down for everyone's predicted date.]
Manny Ramirez is sittin' on 490 dongs. Barring injury or a sudden loss of power, he'll hit his 500th home run in 2008. Predict the date it will happen on. Put your date in the comments of this post, but please pick a date that hasn't been picked yet. One guess per person. Here's the Red Sox schedule--make sure you pick a date in which the Sox are playing. (Although a gutsy move would be to pick an off-day and hope there's a rainout and he hits it during the make-up game.)

The person who picks the exact date get a signed copy of my book when it comes out this summer AND some soap or bath-related products from my girlfriend's soap company, Stella Marie. Deadline to get your vote in: Monday, March 24th. At 5:00 PM.

And click here for the Red Sox '08 win-loss contest at Joy of Sox...prizes will be awarded there, too....

Here's the scoreboard :

4/11: Tex
4/20: Michael Leggett
4/26: Dori
5/3: doublenicks
5/5: vineyard_vacationer
5/6: Mike
5/7: Bosox Fan in Wichita
5/9: I'm a Sox Girl
5/10: Novy
5/11: Nick
5/12: truth
5/13: tim
5/14: sosock
5/16: pweezil
5/17: Jack
5/18: Mighty Quinn
5/19: DPS
5/20: Amy
5/21: Karin
5/22: redsock
5/23: skoronskianj
5/24: Redsauce
5/25: Fenway West
5/26: Jay
5/27: Dan Lowe
5/30: Drew
5/31: alclem
6/1: Kim
6/2: MattySox
6/3: HorshamScouse
6/4: 9casey
6/5: AJM
6/7: savethejellyfish
6/10 San Fran Red Sox Fan
6/11: (Ryan)
6/12: cho4sox
6/13: L-girl
6/17: Kara
7/8: Rob

Jere's guess that he hopes doesn't come true: 5/4.

Doesn't it look like these two living craps are taking dumps?

From March 16th to April 13th, the Red Sox will play 21 games. Those games will have 15 different starting times (Eastern). Weird.

If you're scoring at home, they are: 6:05 AM, 12:05 PM, 1:05 PM, 1:07 PM, 1:15 PM 2:05 PM, 3:55 PM, 4:10 PM, 7:05 PM, 7:10 PM, 8:05 PM, 10:05 PM, 10:10 PM, 10:40 PM, and 11:05 PM.

Also, Patriots' Day appears to have moved back to 11:05 AM from the 10:05 AM experiment last year.

Kyle Snyder gave up just two hits and walk in three innings today. We lead 1-0 in the fourth thanks to Marlins pitchers' wildness.

Update: Dan Kolb did not do nearly as well for us. Five batters faced, three walks and a hit, one earned run. 1-1 after 4.

Update: Youk gets the first hit for the Sox, but we trail 2-1 in the bottom of the sixth.

Up-D: Trumbull, CT's Craig Breslow pitched a perfect sixth for the Sox. [Edit: He actually walked two guys. You can never trust these updating boxscores, especially in exhibition games....]

UD: Stretch time at Roger Dean Stadium. The Sox just tied it at 2.

U: We go bottom 8, Marlins up 3-2. I still can't figure out how we scored our second run. I think it scored on an error. Our offense has been shut down today, but no Papi or Manny or Lugo or Drew. None of them played in the B game this morning either. Masterson's stinking for us today: two innings, four hits, a walk, and an earned run. Going to the ninth, 3-2 Marlins.

u: We lose, 3-2. Snyder and Breslow, stars of the day.

Call me idealistic, but I've always thought that as Red Sox fans, there are some lines we don't cross. In my little world, I like to think that if some mass murderer or despotic ruler was somehow allowed to play baseball, and happened to be the greatest player to ever live, we Sox fans would say, No thanks, while Yankee fans would jump at the chance to improve their team. George Steinbrenner (incredibly no longer my most hated Steinbrenner) has said that winning is the second most important thing to him, after breathing. For me, it's more like: 1. Breathing. (Then I'm assuming both George and I are skipping "health" and "family" and "friends" and all that "real life" stuff--we'll call it all "1a.") 2. Going out and trying as hard as you can to win, while playing within the rules. If you win, great, if you lose, you get back up and try again. You know, like real life, rather than the Fantasy Universe called Yankee.

Now, some players are a little less "evil" than the dictators and murderers. Many Red Sox fans argued the case of getting Roger Clemens back last season, and at other times as well. Some even gave him a standing ovation during one of his many phony retirements. I never forgave that guy after he went to the Yanks. I never wanted him back. And we've been through all the arguments in my comments section. But I heard on the radio recently people talking about how fans have short memories, about how we "root for laundry" (I love how when someone brings that up, they act like they're the first one to have seen the Seinfeld routine it comes from), etc., etc. They said that if the Red Sox have a number-retiring ceremony for him five years, all the Red Sox fans will stand and cheer.

And my question to you is, do you really think that would happen? After all that's gone on? Is there one Red Sox fan left out there still saying, "Eh, he did do a great job for us. I'll cheer"? What more can this guy do to make you hate him?

If you can cheer for a guy who left the Red Sox and was pissed about it despite his declining numbers, then went to Toronto saying he wanted to be closer to his family (who lived in Texas), then went to the rival Yankees, rubbing Babe Ruth's plaque before he pitched, and winning two World Series' for those bastids, then "retired" every year just to get extra cheers including ones at Fenway, and only pitching when it was convenient for him, all the while cheating and repeatedly lying about it right to our faces, well, you can cheer for anyone.

I draw my line way before Roger Clemens.

Nick Cafardo:

[Heir-head Hank] also hinted strongly the Sox and Yanks could be future business partners in an undisclosed venture or two down the road.

That'd be it for me....

Direct link here.

Red Sox vs. Twins, today, 1 PM. Click here at 1:00 to hear me (with sidekick Kim at times) announce the game on YouCastr. (Or click here and then click today's game vs. Minnesota. You'll figure it out.) Note: these links have been updated since I originally posted this.

It's always tough to decide whether to do a TV call or a radio call, since some listeners are watching the game and some aren't. With an exhibition game, I figure the TV call is better, as it really doesn't matter who wins. Then again, a lot less people are able to watch the game, making a radio call necessary. So, let's just say, if you can't be watching, I promise to let you know what the hell is going on in the game between my other rantings and ravings and maybe even some music. (From my own bands, to avoid copyright issues.)