Here are the lyrics to "Clonie" by Nellie McKay, which is th song I used in my Johnny Damon movie, Me First.


I've italicized the parts that relate to the situation:

My oh my walkin' by
Who's the apple of my eye
Why it's my very own
Clonie
Oh if I should stroll the 'hood
Who knew I could look so good
Just talkin' on the phone to
Clonie
We are pals
It's cool 'cause we're not lonely
Shallow gene pool
There's nothing to my only
Clonie
Me and you, hustlin' through
Holdin' on through thick and thin
Just day by day our DNA
'cause the Olsen twins got nothin' on us
We'll survive
Side by side
Mother Nature don't you call her phony
She's my clonie

Who was wealthy
But not healthy
Had no one to dwell with me
So look who i got born
Clonie
Far from broke
Bored rich folk
We don't need no natural yolk
Our babies come full formed
Clonie
We'll be huggable
Get a publicist and show them
Be the most lovable thing
Since fucking Eminem
Oh my friend
Multiply, we're a franchise
Like Walt Disney or Hannibal Lechter
We can tell our cancer cells
Are more benign than old Phil Spector
We'll survive
Side by side
Should have signed with Verve instead of Sony
You're my clonie

Oh clonie how I love you
I'm the only person I ever loved
Gee, that's swell
I guess you're just my fatal attraction-y
You're my clonie

It's shaping up that Pedro will picth on the night of Patriots' Day. In case you missed it, I'm going to the Pats' Day morning game at Fenway, then zipping back to New York to see the Mets-Braves night game. Now if only I can avoid Wells at the Red Sox game that day...

Dirtdogs is showing 16-8 as last night's score. It was 14-8. Terrible job by a site whose only info nowadays is the score.
Pedro shown here in Pittsburgh, 2003. Photo by me. Someday I'll post the entire retro-gallery of the Pittsburgh '03 trip.

To any Red Sox fans who don't regularly watch yankee games: Now you know what it's like to watch a yankees-Orioles game. The O's handed us that one on a silver platter, much like the one the Brady kids got for mom and dad's anniversary.

Only a Seanez appearance made this one close.

The person who has impressed me the most so far is Alex Gonzalez. I'm already at the point where I feel like any hitting he gives us is a bonus. Was he born in a shortstop patch or what? His confidence level is 10 to Edgar's -10. He's like that shortstop that's always been on some other team than the Red Sox. The kind you always wished we could get. Nomar was kind of like that at his best (I'm talking strictly fielding here), but this dude tops him.

And the rest of the infield seems to feed off of him. It's like having a great point guard.

But we're only four days in.

It's 55 degrees in Anaheim, where Mr. Dunbar is losing 4-1. (It's 64 here in New York.) Orlando hit a homer to give the Angels an early lead. Damon was loudly booed on his first at bat. I'm hoping he ends up being the American League's Barry Bonds, booed at every stop, for his crime against baseballity. I also, of course, hope Sheffield and Giambi become the AL's Barry Bonds, too, for doing exactly what Bonds is getting booed for. I still don't get this. Society is going to "not let" Barry get the record, but guys who aren't close to famous records get a free pass?

Oh, and I ordered Extra Innings tonight.

Update: yanks lose, fall to 1-3. Eight runs total in the three games since they scored 15 in game one. Jeter had a minor injury, but I want all yanks to stay healthy, so they have no excuse for this year's non-championship.

While taking an old lady to a medical appointment, I was reading The Sporting News in the waiting room. I used to get TSN when I was a pre-teen, when it was on newsprint. I even found a through-the-mail fantasy league in the back. I refused to trade Greenwell for Mattingly. I finished last. But that's beside the point.

I decided to tally the number of females pictured in the magazine, and compare that to the total number of men. I included everything--photos, ads, headshots of writers. Obviously I didn't count people in the background of pictures, like fans. Only the person or people focused on in the shot.

Here are the results:

Total pictures--162 (perfect for what was their baseball preview issue)
Males--160
Females--2
Total number of female athletes pictured--0

Terrible job, male-dominated society, or as I call it, "MaDoSoc."

Surely there are some females who are sporting, or were sporting in the past week, right?

I guess I should be happy that there were no females in the ads, considering how they're usually portrayed. Then again, how about putting females in advertisements without objectifying them?

In case you're curious, the two females were: A headshot of their female hockey reporter, and a shot of a basketball player's wife.

I got more free Nets tickets from a nice person who donated them to my office, so Chan and I took the Port Authority bus over to Jersey tonight for some Chan-tastic NBA action. We saw what we both believed to be our first live triple-double. (For non-basketball fans, this is when a baseball game breaks out on the court, and someone hits three doubles.)

This brings up an interesting point. In my mind, anyway. In Ice Cube's classic hit "It Was a Good Day," Mr. Cube claims that at some point the previous week, while "fucking around" (implying he didn't even have to try very hard), he scored 10 points, picked up 10 assists, and pulled down 10 boards--at minimum in each category--in a basketball game. This makes no sense to me. First, he's suddenly referring to a day from the week before, when the song's main focus is the current day. Second, how often are stats recorded in a pickup basketball game? Finally, what are the odds of getting a triple-double in a game that traditionally is won when one team reaches 11 or 21 points, where each shot is worth 1? Even in a game to 21, you'd have to score 10 baskets, and assist on ten others. This means you alone contributed to at least 20 of your team's possible 21 points. On top of that, of course, you need to get 10 rebounds. It's nearly impossible. Especially if you're only fucking around.

I guess if it were a 2 on 2 game, it could actually make sense: You score half your team's points, and assist on the rest because the other player on your team can only get the ball from you. You could even do it in a loss. (Hey, but you have to win by 2! So, technically, you can score an unlimited amount of points, provided you stay within 1 of your opponent, making a triple-double very possible.)

Then again, maybe Ice Cube is in a 5 on 5, 48-minute game league, where stats are kept. But this doesn't fit with the "fucked around" theory. If it is that serious a league, I don't think his teammates would appreciate his just showing up and not trying very hard, no matter how well he ends up playing. Or maybe they play it off by saying, "That's just Ice Cube being Ice Cube."

Oh, and rapper Juelz Santana was at the game tonight. I'd never heard of him before. He's no Ice Cube.

I got home to find out that Pedro got into a little tiff in the Mets game. I feel like I may have gone to this game had I not had Nets tickets. And that was without knowing Pedro would be pitching. Maybe BSM went. It would make sense. Watch that space. You should anyway.

Yes, they're all Larry Bird. This is from a site called Scamboogah! There are more NBA star-face-pople things there. Thanks to my friend Alex P. Keaton for telling me about this.

"I'm not perfect," Cano said.

"We know," everyone else said.

Now if only we could get Jeter to admit to this. Derek did chime in, after last night's errorific game, with yet another subtle hint to the yankee brass:

"Everybody's talking about our offense, but it doesn't win games. You need pitching and defense."

Actually, Derek, I can think of one dude in this cubicle alone who's been talking about your pitching and defense for quite some time. But thanks for doing your part to start a controversy, which is what I always hope for in the Bronx. Seriously, instead of wording it like Jeter and Sheffield have, someone on the team might as well come out with, "We needed pitching but George went out and got that guy he had a crush on to play center field. Think of the pitching we could have had with that money! Damn!"

If 2/3rds of this season's Red Sox games are 2004-style wins, and the rest are throwaway losses, well, that's a .666 winning percentage (rounding the number toward Satan, in more ways than one, to the nearest hundredth). I'll take it.

I haven't gone to any message boards yet, but I'm assuming the word Papelbon (pictured, attempting to hail his own cab) appears a lot, and each one is followed by lots of exclamation points. It's so nice to be comfortable watching a Red Sox closer again. Based on Francona's reaction at the end of the game, I got the feeling he said, before the ninth, "I want to win. We're going with the kid." I imagined Foulke thinking to himself, "So this is what it was like to watch me two years ago." Hopefully he continues to work and can help us this year.

And Beckett was pretty gold. I see wins in his and our future. So glad Trot got him that lead.

The "new" infield also gives me this great, comfortable feeling. Great job by Co, Lo, Lo, Yo, Go, and Snow.

Tonight, the Extra Innings free preview gave me the Texas coverage. Judging from the commercials, it's true what they say about Texans--they, uh, enjoy themselves.

Except for the fact that the camera person thinks you're supposed to do a close-up on the ball on fly balls, leaving the viewer to wonder where the hell it is, and that the in-crowd reporter reported not on the game, but on a hot dog eating contest between two fans, the coverage was okay.

I don't know if you got this on NESN, but they did a close-up on Coco as he ran the bases on his triple. It was really fun to watch him. His head seemed perfectly still, as he focused completely on the third base coach, all while eating a bowlful of speed. As soon as he got the word, it was head down, determined to get to third base.

You can thank me for this: Going to the ninth inning of the Sox game, I decided to ignore the yankee game until ours was won. No switching over between pitches. I put my full attention on, and confidence in, Jon Papelbon. Later, the A's came back to tie the yanks after being down 4-0, meaning my plan worked out all around. It's the eighth now, tied. I may update this later.

I love how there were so many Sox fans in Texas. To be expected of course, but I kind of figured mid-week, eh, there won't be that many. It's very rare that I underestimate the number of Sox fans in a foreign nation like Texas.

I also love how A's fans seem to genuinely despise Mr. Dunbar. They boo each guy, knowing who to boo louder than the rest, as they're announced, through the entire game.

Oh, here's a quote from a Texas announcer, proving that everyone's favorite trendy story--that the Red Sox aren't fun any more--is total bullshit: "...an interesting compilation of players. That should make for a fun summer in New England." That's the perspective of some dude who doesn't live in the northeast, basing what he says on what he sees.

Here's that update: A's take lead in eighth on triple just out of Damon's reach, followed by grounder to Cano with infield in that he botches. (Jeter earlier made a key error leading to the A's comeback.)

Base hit. Jay Payton (!) scores. I love it. Yeah, bring in Mike Myers! Who else ya got out there, Torre? Damon doesn't pitch. A-Rod doesn't pitch. Sheffield doesn't pitch. My friend Mike the yankee fan said this team is closer to the '88 team than the '98 team, and therefore most likely won't win the mythical 27th championship. Sheffield himself even mocked the management by saying that pitching's the most important thing. Now Farnsworth is in, their fifth pitcher, and he just walked a man. Bases loaded. Three-run double for Frank Thomas! 9-4 A's. This game and this post are over.

I guess this is only funny if you know my roommate's name is Chan.

(I stole that pic from NU50, where someone else besides me thinks you can affect the outcome of Red Sox games with your mind. Take that, PECOTA!)

This season's Fenway Park improvements.

Some good stuff in there. But I think everyone will be most excited for the Dunkin Donuts coffee. It will now be a battle of beverages Jere's never* had at Fenway.

Also, not only is Wily Mo not helping our pitching staff, but Bronson is helping the Reds' hitting. I understand the cash we threw in to the trade contributed with a sac fly as well.

*Except for a sip of Miller High Life at age 3, beer-wise, and some instant coffee in a hotel in Chicago that the airport put me up in due to a snowstrom on my way out to college at age 18, coffee-wise. Wasn't a huge fan of either. Never drank either again.

In a little while it will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

It's snowing in the city. Makes sense. Today is the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. Every year on this day, it is overcast, gray, and rainy, wherever I am--in other words, a beautiful day--since 1995. Check the almanac. This may be the first April 5th snow since then, though.

April snow also reminds me of a trip I took to Fenway at age eight. We stayed in Braintree, and went to the game, and sat in the grandstand by the Green Monster. We got to see Jim Rice briefly, but the game never even started. Snowed out. Shouldn't be a problem in Texas tonight.

The classic April 5th. It really is snowing, it just didn't come out in the pic.

Notes: I know he died in '94. But the anniversaries started in '95. Also, the day the death was announced was April 8th. But the estimate is that he killed himself on or around the 5th, which is the date I've always gone with.

Tonight was opening night for mlb.tv on my laptop. It didn't stop to buffer that much at all. But it was a frustrating experience nonetheless. They were showing the Texas feed, but with the Rangers' radio announcers. And there weren't any graphics on the screen. Or any replays. And the sound was so soft that I could only hear it if I put my ear right up to the computer.

After an inning of this, which I fully blame for Wake's horrible first inning, I decided to check out the price of the Extra Innings plan. I went to their crash-rific website and saw something about a free preview. I scrolled through the guide on my tv, found the mlb channels up in the four millions, and sure enough, there was the Red Sox game.

A momentous occasion. For the first time ever, a NESN game was on a TV set where I resided.

At that point I seriously started thinking about buying the package. The deal is, you get 20 dollars off if you buy it during this week long preview. (If you have digital cable, you're probably getting the free preview.) In the past, I've stayed away from Extra Innings for the following reasons: I was in Fairfield County up until last year, where I think the NESN games are blacked out, despite that you can't get NESN there in the first place; I didn't want to pay for all those games when I only cared about one team; and I heard not every game is on. Now, I'm out of the poochscrew area and I checked their schedule, and not only do all the Sox games appear to be on, but most of them are shown with the NESN feed. (I still think it's ridiculous that you can't just choose to get one team's games and pay a fifteenth of the price, but I'll deal with it.) And another key thing: I called my dad, and found out that our digital cables were in synch. That would mean no more avoiding human contact due to a five second delay. But it wouldn't be good for the Red Sox bars of New York. I'd only order water, though, so they wouldn't lose too much business.

So I may go ahead and get Extra Innings. Of course, after I pay, they'll probably say that all Red Sox games are blacked out for people who have a first name starting with J or something. Either that of some men dressed in black with little "NY" pins on their lapels will show up on my door, handing me my money back, slowly shaking their heads and saying "By order of Mr. Steinbrenner..." I'm telling you, George is on the case. He just doesn't want me to see my team. I hope he doesn't "have his eye on me," like he did with Damon, and then try to steal me away from my family.

Too bad about Wake tonight. I'm always happy to just get one win in Arlington. So it's cool that we still have a chance to win the series with Beckett.

I thought Loretta was safe on the grounder to third where the dude made a nice play. Pretty clearly, actually. But Remy said the ump made the right call, and that was the end of it. It was a helpless feeling. I just wanted Orsillo to jump in and say, "For those of you who thought he was safe, don't feel bad. You might be right." Sure enough, Papi got a hit after that, and I really think we could've gotten back into the game had the ump made the right call. TJ, ump. TJ, RemDawg. That new in-game reporter on NESN seems very uncomfortable and scared.

It's the bottom of the ninth in the Dunbar game. Tied. I talked to Reb earlier and said I really want a walk-off win for the A's. Man on second, one out. I may get my wish. Anyway, early in the game, they showed some sign hanging in the crowd. Next to it was the very edge of another sign. Kay talked about the sign they were focused on, and then Singleton said, "But look at the sign next to it." They pan over, and the other sign says "Et Tu Johnny?" They all started laughing and saying how "Wow, he left that many years---Game over! A's win in walk-off style! Tied up at 1-1 in the standings. We needed this one.---oh, so, my point was that they assumed the sign was referring to Johnny leaving the A's, like Giambi did, however, I think it specifically referred to how he left and then joined the yanks.

There was a great play earlier, where A-Rod dogged it between first and second on a hit, thinking he could go because Sheffield was going home, but Shef stopped, allowing A-Rod to be thrown out, and then Shef himself dogged it while that was happening and couldn't score. Good stuff.

I know I'm a little late on this, but, to the person who threw the syringe on the field: Hey asshole, you missed Giambi and Sheffield by 500 miles!

From Peter, in my comments, responding to me saying how it was A's pitchers' wildenss responsible for the Dunbar win last night:

"Zito sucked, but the Yankees will score a ton of runs against anyone."

It's game one. We need to start dispelling the myths early, Peter. I know all of Red Sox "Naysh" is waking up to that score, 15-2, and assuming that the yanks' have another "murderers' row," and bashed the A's all over the park. I am here to give you the facts. I watched the game. The A's walked nine, hit 3, and made one error, along with another play that could've been called an error. One yankee run scored before they got either a walk, HBP, or E in an inning. Out of fifteen. I'm not going to tell you it was a cheap 15-2 victory. They capitalized like crap on all the miscues. But I just hope people pay attention enough to see that this was far from a relentless attack. Peter, I prefer to flip your statement around to read, "The yanks scroed a ton of runs, but anyone would do that against pitching like the A's had last night." The Dunbar announcers did have the theory that the walks were occurring due to the yanks' hitters being so incredibly awesome. But remember, they have guns to their huge, huge heads in the booth.

Another classic example of yankee nonsense flying under the radar: At one point, Bernie Williams was up with the bases loaded and a full count. He purposely stepped out of the box. The yankee announcers started talking about how that's "what he does" every time he's in that situation, to make the pitcher have to think more about the upcoming critical pitch. Then, before the pitcher could pitch, Bernie stepped out again. Okay, baseball strategy, fine. A little bit of a dick move, but, whatever. Except that the score was 12-1 at the time.


If Manny did this, Kay would be all over him like ugly on Randy Johnson.

I'm a dude called Jere, 30-ish, born and raised in small-town Connecticut, about 40 miles from New York City. My county has always been considered part of the New York market, and is not within New England Sports Network's territory, despite its name. (Last time I checked, all of Connecticut was part of New England.) I was raised a Red Sox fan, but I never got to see them regularly on TV. I grew up rooting against the yanks on channel 11, with the sound down, and for the Red Sox on WTIC-1080 radio out of Hartford. My family's motto was "I love New York, it's the yankees I hate." There was just no ignoring that "other" team, and there still isn't. The most important thing is that the Red Sox win. But the most important thing is that the yankees lose. See what I did there?

Last year, I finally moved to the great city of New York, home of everything, including some of the finest yankee-haters you'll ever meet. There are actually more Sox fans around where I live in Manhattan then there were up in Fairfield County. I proudly wear my Red Sox apparel on a daily basis.

I started this blog two years ago, as a way to basically give my point of view of the rivalry--to let Red Sox fans, and anyone else who cares, just how much crap is spewed out of the mouths of Steinbrenner cronies like Michael Kay, Jon Sterling, and traitor Suzyn Waldman. And also to expose the weaknesses that the yanks consistently have. The media will tell you about a classy, all-powerful organization, but I will help you see their tradition of deception and chicanery (that's an old Church Lady phrase), as well as their history of other teams' errors and walks, and blindest-ass luck any people or group of people have ever experienced in the history of the world. (They call it "mystique.")

I also go to a lot of Sox games; at least ten every year in Boston, as well as in other cities. I take lots of pictures of players on and off the field and post them here. I also make movies--some about the Red Sox, some not. They can be found by clicking here. I also do a lot of trivia quizzes because they rule.

I can rest easier nowadays, of course, what with the events of 2004. But just experiencing five seconds of a Michael Kay- or Jon Sterling-announced game, or seeing some dude who admits to knowing nothing about baseball slap a yankee hat on, thinking he's turning himself into a "winner," makes me remember that there won't ever be a reason to stop hating the yankees.

This blog isn't about the score or the stats, although I know my baseball and I will give you that stuff sometimes. It's really about my take on things from the perspective of someone behind enemy lines. And also about goofing off and attempting to be entertaining. Pre-requisites for understanding what the hell I'm talking about are simple: Know your SNL past, your Bill Murray movies, your music that's not invented by a guy in a suit, and maybe some baseball, and you'll be gold. I'm also a left-wing, commie, pinko, vegetarian, straight edge, bleeding heart liberal feminist...you know what I'm saying. Making fun of people who happen to have been born without a penis, pale flesh, or in a country other than the USA will not be tolerated.

Terms to know:

TJ: Stolen from WFAN's Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, this is short for "terrible job," and is used to describe someone doing something stupid or poorly. Damon signed with the yanks? Terrible job. or TJ by Chan on that whole "deciding who to root for" thing.

Chan: Refers to my friend since freshman year of high school, and now my roommate here in New York. Chan is his last name. According to him, it's like Smith in China. Which is weird since that's my last name. He's actually from Hong Kong, and despite my efforts to convert him, he's been a yankee fan ever since he moved to this country, thanks to our friend and legitimate yankee fan, Jim.

[yankee fans, please note: I grew up around mostly yankee fans. Most of them laughed at me and called me names, but many of my friends were and are yankee fans, too. I don't literally want to kill you, and this is supposed to be in good fun. Your team just makes me kind of, uh, pissed sometimes. As do those of your kind who don't exactly "pay attention until October," so to speak. If you're a true yankee fan, and you want to debate anything rationally, you are always welcome. Please identify yourself, though, as opposed to commenting anonymously. That goes for everyone, actually. And even if you do post anonymously, and the only thing you can muster up is "YOUR STUPID," that is your right. Your punishment is not that I will delete your comment, but I will leave it up to show just how dumb you are, and you will only make the real and intelligent yankee fans look worse. Thank you.]

Mr. Dunbar: After Johnny Damon signed with the yanks, some people felt that Sox fans should cheer him when he returns to Fenway. I countered by comparing this to having your mom divorce your dad and marry the man across the street who used to molest you. You wouldn't side with her after that, right? I called the mythical neighbor "Mr. Dunbar." Hence, the yankees are sometimes called that, or simply "Dunbar." The fact that Dunbar is the company that carries money around is just a sweet, sweet coincidence.

Finally, a note on words: I am a bit of a spelling/grammar-"Nazi." That doesn't mean if you accidentally make a typo in your comment I will go off on you. People can tell who knows how to use the English language and who doesn't. Even those who know will hit the wrong key every now and again. But if you come in here and consistently write "your" instead of "you're," or just demonstrate that you don't know certain common-sense rules, you may get slammed. But that would really only happen if you're making fun of me/my mom while using the incorrect language. Exceptions would be if you're new to the English language, or you know it, but have your own style that you consistently use. Like, for me, I never capitalize "yankees." I know that it's correct to capitalize prooper names, but I choose not to in that instance, because that would be giving them too much credit.

Have fun. Tell me what you think. Comment or e-mail me whenever at Two2067@aol.com. And don't forget to click on some links on the right side. A lot of people are doing a lot of interesting things.

Labels: About This Blog

My sister used to have a friend named April Zito. That should not be Barry Zito's nickname, as he continues to stink in April. He just walked the ballpark against the yanks, and then ended his own evening by giving up a grand slam to A-Rod, his 430th career homer. How do I know how many homers he has? Because yankee announcer and audience deceiver Michael "Backwards" Kay told me--while A-Rod was rounding the bases. The usual Kay-induced nausea has set in. He and his buddies are bragging about the yankees' lineup (ie their ability to lay off pitches that are nowhere near home plate) like Steinbrenner literally has guns pointed at their heads.

So, for Zito, less than two innings, seven runs. Terrible job. I'm sure he was distracted by the huge "Pentax" ad behind home plate. At least the A's have eight innings to come back.

And at least yankee occupied territory didn't get the enjoyment of the beginning of this game, since they're all fast asleep in their beds, hoping they wake to discover that 2004 was a horrible dream.

I got to see most of the game on mlb.tv at work, without sound. It was good to have that familiar feeling yet again. The way every Red Sox game is an entire lifetime. When they're ahead, you feel like you've got a nice house, a wonderful partner, a cupboard full of Drake's products, you know, the important stuff. An when things start to go down hill, you are on the brink of being fired, and a tornado is rolling toward your place. There's something great about an opening game where things go so well for so long. If each inning is a decade, today we basically went well into our adult lives without any major illnesses. I could sit there comfortably, knowing that the entire season (from 2:05 to about 4:00) was frustration-free. A late yankee game, meaning no frustration there guaranteed for at least eight hours, added to the experience.

And those first two runs, well, insert your own wine/desert analogy here. Off the top of my head, I'll call it "that first sip of Coca-Cola after crossing a country that only serves Pepsi."

Mlb.tv seems to be set up nicer now, and it streamed pretty smoothly, although it was on my work computer. I'll see how it is at home tomorrow night.

As far as NESN's coverage, a few negatives to report: On Manny Ramirez's first at bat of the year, the screen was split so that we could see (!) Roger effin' Clemens talking. I've been waiting months to see my favorite players. The first chance they have to show Manny, they make him share time with that Babe Ruth's ass-sniffin' Texan. Yet another case of a network trying to do too much. Even if I liked Clemens, I still feel, and I don't think I'm alone here, that the audio will suffice. No need to see his actual face, especially if there's a game--no, the first fucking game of the year--going on.

Granted, I didn't have the audio. They could have been playing circus music over Roger. Remy could have been announcing through one of those Peter Frampton voice things. I shouldn't criticize without all the facts. It was cool how Joe Castiglione was one of the people around Clemens. Rare to see his face during a game.

They weren't showing the pitch speed. This seems to be a huge problem with NESN. It looked like Schilling was bringing some serious heat, though. I could be wrong.

The team definitely gave me feelings of encouragement. Co-squared played some sweet defense. The Ortiz bomb looked amazing, despite that you really can't see the ball on mlb.tv. Alex Gonzalez plays with such ease out there, snatching pop-ups one-handed like you'd catch the remote when your friend tosses it to you when he has to go to the bathroom. The opposite of Edgar, basically. It is a little scary the way he only uses the one hand, but I feel like after a few days of this, we'll have more faith in him catching a ball behind his back--with his hat--than we did in Edgar playing normally.

Loretta reminds me of McCarty at the plate, but again, I was watching on a one-inch screen. He seems to drive the ball high and far, not like the more classic "little child shall lead them"-style Red Sox second baseman.

I missed the Papelbon inning while walking home from work, but I hear it was a 1-2-3.

AndalsoKeithFoulkeisontheteamByenow.

Kevin Millwood reminds me of that kid from high school who you didn't hang out with, but you'd known for a while from maybe elementary school or Little League (where he'd usually swing and miss but would surprise you with an occasional double), so he was down with you, despite that you were slightly less of a loser than he was. Yet you still feared that when he shot up the school, he'd just forget who you were and kill you anyway. Is it just me?

Millwood vs. the Sox, 2:05 PM.

Tonight at 10:05, it's Mr. Dunbar at Oakland. Here's the Dunbar breakdown:

percentage of yankee fans who:

know the season starts today--23%
know the team is playing at 10:05 PM eastern--16%
will stay up for first pitch-6%
will watch entire game--0%

Don't worry, I'll let 'em know what happens.

I was listening to WEEI today, and one host brought up Jimmy Rollins' current 36-game hitting streak. He said something to the effect of "You can't continue a streak the next year," very sure of himself. The other host agreed, and they moved on. How could they both say something so very wrong without anyone knowing to correct them?

I have heard recently that it is debatable, but only when referring to the streak as the "longest single-season hit streak." In that case, yes, DiMaggio would still hold the record. But when in your life have you ever heard Joe D.'s streak specifically called a "single-season" record?

In other words, this is just another attempt by yankee fans to keep an "unbreakable" record unbroken. I can hear it now: "Oh, well, he still has the longest streak among Italians..." Gimme a break.

I'll grant you this: I, of course, would love more than anything to see that record broken. I've rooted my whole life for that to happen. I always hoped it would be some .220 hitter who lucks out 57 games in a row. The streak is overrated anyway. Ted Williams had a better batting average over the 56-game span in which DiMaggio had his streak. Pressure-wise, toward the end, I'm sure it's tough. But even under extreme pressure, you could Jeter one over the second-baseman, and it's still a hit in the boxscore.

That said, if you still don't believe me that saying "Rollins can't break the record" is total bullshit, read what Major League Baseball has to say about it (from Baseball-Almanac.com):

"The streak will remain active for next season, and Rollins will need a hit in 21 more games to pass Joe DiMaggio's 65-year-old record. The record-setting game would come next April, pending no rainouts and no games sat out. If Rollins does it, he would be recognized as the all-time leader, but not as the single-season leader, unless he kept it going. Source: MLB.com (Ken Mandel, 10/02/2005)."

If Rollins gets the all-time record, but not the single-season record, that will be fine with me. Just like I'll always be fine with the fact that the yanks were the 2004 AL East champions.

Red Sox at Texas, 2:05. For real!