Friday, August 26, 2005

Tube Sox

Today I did the "check the secret ticket stash area to make sure I actually have tickets to the game I think I do" for Saturday's game against the Tigers. And they were there. Pat & I will be in the four-three out in the bleachers. So look for pics here early next week. You can also get a full roundup of all the weekend's activities at Fenway from the girl who wears red socks on her thigh-gers, SamCat. And maybe I'll meet her, if I can spot the orange hat, which shouldn't be too hard.

Tonight the Sox are on their own, at least in this apartment, since I'll be down at CBGBs, for the Dead Boys reunion show. Only one of the Dead Boys is actually dead, but if they were all dead, it would be a boring show. Maybe not, actually. But the real reason I'm going to the show is because my friend Bruce's band, the legendary Adrenalin OD, is on the bill. As is another classic early 80s band, Flipper. Also, Peter & the Test Tube Babies, and Furious George. Should be a fun time.


Terrible job. This is the worst Royals-related travesty since George Brett's picture was printed backwards on the cover of the 1981 Topps Baseball Sticker Album.

Ortiz gets a day off for a "hand bruise"? I say just put him in there. Does he really need a day off from ten total minutes of action? Besides, when they showed him at the beginning of the game, he was sitting at the edge of the dugout, leaning on the injured hand. My theory is: a slightly injured Ortiz is better than a totally healthy anyone else. I know, "but internet guy, we need to keep him healthy for October." Well, you caught me at a bad time, here. You can't expect me to be rational.

That's not what I'm most frustrated about from this series, but I'm sure you don't need me to tell you about all that other stuff. I guess you always have to keep in mind that winning in the town of Kansas City, Missouri is just never easy, even when it seems like the Royals have no chance going in.

I'd also like to once again complain about how all of Major League Baseball is essentially the same. Today's example: their broadcasts. I see a lot of games on the yankees, Red Sox, and Mets networks, as well as other teams' networks, when forces it on me. First of all, does every team's trivia question have to be sponsored by Aflac? And all the other sponsors are the same, too. There's no individuality to a team's broadcast. They all have the same Geico and Nissan ads, and then when they go to local ads, it's just local car dealerships that sell those same Nissans that you can insure with that same Geico. I wouldn't be surprised if they start replacing the announcers with robot voices that all sound like Buck and McCarver. And some of the teams that play on Fox stations use that same national Fox theme. Terrible job.

But I'm not gonna let all this ruin my National Banana Split Day...oh crap, I missed it.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Dieter's Dream

My fantasy is for a major league baseball game to be played, preferably at Fenway Park, where no fans show up except for me. I would sit wherever I want, and run and get every foul ball. I know I could walk, but I'd need to run so I wouldn't lose track of a ball, like, if there were a bunch of foul balls in a row. Also, Lansdowne Street would be closed off during the game, and I'd also be allowed to go out there to get a home run ball and then come back in.

This would be what I'd have requested from Make-A-Wish if I'd had cancer, but it wasn't to be. Life is so unfair.

Note: This is the opposite of my anti-fantasy of going to school one day only to find out that every other kid stayed home sick, and it's just me and the teacher in each class.

yankees are about to lose. And it's over. If we can break this tie with the Royals we'll be all set. (Getting a hit with the bases loaded would be a key to winning.)

More Of The Same From Them And Me

We almost got through the whole game without having to sweat. But despite Timlin's shaky ninth, I'm just glad it was a win, especially after the yankee game I watched tonight. It was a classic bullshit win for the yanks, ending on the Jays closer NOT wasting a pitch on 0-2. It's games like those that make me wonder why anyone in their right mind would want to support a team like the yanks. For anybody who says I should just worry about my own team, just try watching one yankee broadcast, and you'll know what I'm talking about. My hatred of that team would be just as strong even if I wasn't a Red Sox fan.

And the "not hating Hideki Matsui" charade ends right here for me. I hate that shithead just as much as any other yankee bastard. I can look at it two ways: 1. He's innocent and doesn't know what he's standing for by wearing the pinstripes. In that case, I hate him for being so ignorant. Do your research. Or 2. He knows exactly what he's doing. In that case, I hate him for purposely picking the yanks over the other teams.

The good things from tonight were Mariano giving up the go-ahead run, all by himself, in the ninth. Well, the rally was aided by a Jeter error. (You won't see that error in the boxscore, because they scored it a hit. Even Michael Kay wondered out loud how it could possibly be a hit.) So, that Jeter play would be another good thing, too, as well as Sturtzey shitting his nightly bed. Me and Chan have named a bum from our neighborhood "Tanyon." (He's known to wear a yellow yankees jersey now and again.)

And if they weren't playing a team whose players' and coaches' brains consisted of horse diarrhea, they would have lost.

I just don't know how Michael Kay can so proudly say, "And the yankee fans are creating a wall of noise," when we can see on our TV screens the scoreboard saying "Make Noise," and have a clear conscience. I honestly don't know how that guy sleeps at night. Oh, and at that point, in the ninth, in the summer, before 10 PM, the "crowd" had thinned by about one-quarter, after the yanks went down by ONE in the top half. Sorry, this was just a particularly nauseating yankee game tonight. I'd like to just stress right now just how overjoyed I am about the fate they suffered last season. You know, at the hands of the World Champions. And while I'm at it, I forgot to mention, when I was at Shea the other night, I actually saw a guy with a "1918" hat. Stupid idiot. The fact that he's still wearing it tells you something about the sheer stupidity of yankee terrorist network nation.

You know, the other day, I said to Chan, "Chan, you're right. Not driving a car has made me less stressed out overall." Without even acknowledging that, he said, "You know what else you can do? Stop watching baseball." He's probably right. But, as much as I complain about the yanks, I'm happy with my World Champs and the fact that we're in first place and the yanks are going nowhere. But I can't help calling them out on their crimes against humanity.

Also, after having their butts kissed for the entire month of July as if they were aliens who took over the planet, Cano, now going for (Shittiest) Rookie of the Year, is 6 for his last 35, while Giambi, candidate for the (Most Overrated) Comeback Player of the Year, is 4 for his last 35. Sorry to use that joke twice in one sentence. It's just that good.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Jaws Of Life

When I saw Ghostbusters in Washington Square Park last summer (one of my crowning achievements in life), there were maybe fifty people there, scattered across the lawn. I guess I figured this was what all outdoor, summer night movies were like in New York.

I didn't realize the scope of the Bryant Park Summer Film Festival.

The movie was Jaws. This was the first movie I ever went to when it was originally released in 1975. I was negative one month old at the time, still in the womb. So I didn't actually see it until a few years later, but it's become one of my favorites.

It was to start between 8 and 9, so I met Chan, who was coming from work, at 6:30 at Grand Central. We walked over to Bryant Park, a few blocks away, thinking we could check out the scene, go and get some food, and then come back for the movie. I even thought that if Chan just wanted to meet me there, I could go early and get a spot up front, and flag him down when he arrived. Oh how wrong all these plans turned out to be.

We arrived at the park to find the entire city-block-sized lawn filled to capacity with literally thousands of people. Every square inch of grass was covered by blankets, each one right up against its neighbor. And all the tables around the lawn were completely filled.

I began to think this wasn't about Jaws, but rather the idea of a free movie in the middle of a very popular area. Although the host-type guy did say we were a record crowd.

Some guy even came up to me and asked, "Who's playing here tonight?" It did seem a little like Woodstock, only with tall buildings all around.

Chan and I eventually grabbed some space behind a railing on a ramp, far from the screen. It was actually a pretty good view, but we did have to stand the whole time. But we're young, we can handle it.

Here's the scene when we got there:

Looking to the left, we could see the top of the Empire State Building. The library is at the far left:

A Sox fan in front of a Roseanne-looking woman:

More Woodstock-ness:

People were nuts about the whole Jaws thing. One guy had a "JawsFest" T-shirt, and check out this shark balloon: (I heard one dude even blogged about his experience at the movie and posted pics. Loser.)

More crowd:

More crowd:

Empire State Building as daylight starts to fade:

Sun starting to set over midtown:

A balloon floating away in front of the ESB:

Click on these to see bigger, slightly blurrier versions, by the way. In this shot, you can see people along the observation deck-i-matsui. Why is there barbed-wire up there? If you're climbing over that, you're about to feel a lot more pain than some minor abrasions. Maybe it's to deter BASE jumpers:

Jaws fans at dusk:

Chan surveys the scene from our perch:

Leaves with red light. The light is at the top of the spire of the ESB, which is blurred so that it's pretty much invisible. I thought it was cool:

We got some previews, as well as a Tweety cartoon. In this shot, check out that splotch below the left-most point of Tweety's umbrella. That's a bat. Enlarging helps:

One of the biggest cheers was for the Looney Toons logo. Also when someone would get eaten. And when Robert Shaw first appeared. Also, for the line "You're gonna need a bigger boat." The movie had that classic HBO intro from back in the day, the one they use a crappier version of now on HBO. When this came on, a man (below) stood up, raised his arms, and started jumping up and down. Soon, the entire lawn was jumping, arms held high. Other New York people, help me out here, is this some strange tradition? I mean, I love that old HBO theme, but I never actually stood up and started jumping around like a maniac upon seeing it:

Again, the movie was Jaws:

City at night:

The Chrysler building reflected in the windows of another building. This is really cool if you know what the Chrysler building looks like:

I had to include Robert Shaw. I tried to make it look like a Shaw billboard among the buildings:

That's it. We then went shopping at Food Emporium. I got donuts. Chan got soup. Good day.


...have come to the conclusion that 2005 is just 1995 with iPods and thongs.

Believing Their Own Hype

From Bryan Hoch's article on

"The Yankees (68-35) trail the Red Sox by 3 1/2 games in the AL East, and they find themselves in a three-way tie for the Wild Card lead, leading to a general consensus that the Bombers can settle into the driver's seat from this point out."

Well, besides the fact that their record is far from 68-35 (hey, mistakes happen, they just always HAPPEN to make the yankees seem better than they are), uh, how are they in the "driver's seat"? And in the next paragraph, there's a quote from Torre in which he says his team controls their own destiny.

I'm glad I missed their game tonight, where they scored on an error, thanks to their mystique and all, to take a lead which they never relinquished. It sounded from what I read like the Jays played like the team o' Gils we know them to be.

This whole "Jaret Wright being good" thing isn't working for me. He'll have to pitch against a team that actually tries eventually, though. Who does that dude look like? There's something about his face, reminds me of Chucky or somebody. But without the red hair, that comparison can't work. Maybe it's someone else he looks like. I'll figure it out. He just reminds me of one of those dolls; the type you just don't want to have facing you.

I saw Jaws tonight in Bryant Park. Will have pics up tomorrow. In the meantime, check out this sweet play by Todd Walker from tonight. Try to do what you can to see the entire play. It's really cool.

AP photo

Monday, August 22, 2005

The yanks Are Gonna Need A Bigger Boat

Here's a look at the last forty games of the season. Next to each series, I estimate how many wins we'll get, in kind of a worst-ish case secenario.

@ KC: 2 of 3
vs DET: 2 of 3
vs TB: 3 of 4
vs BAL: 2 of 3
vs LAA: 1 of 3
@ NYY: 1 of 3
@ TOR: 1 of 3
4 vs OAK: 2 of 4
@ TB: 2 of 3
@ BAL: 1 of 3
vs TOR: 2 of 4
vs NYY: 2 of 3
vs CWS: 1 of 1 (assuming game is played)

Even if we only do that, that's 22-18, giving us a final record of 93-69. For the yanks to tie us, if this happens, they'd have to go 26-14 over their last 40. That's .650 baseball. They are currently playing .549.

My point is, we should get 'er done.

Obviously, we can get some sweeps out of the crappier teams, and could just as easily get 2 out of three in any of the series' where I have us winning 1 of 3 above. Add one more win against KC, Det, and TB, and that puts us at 25-15, finishing at 96-66. In that case, the yanks would have to go 29-11.

All things to think about.

And hey, when the yanks are bragging about their attendance at the end of the year, just remember that they're selling select $40 tickets for FIVE DOLLARS. Only yankee fans would need an 87% discount to see their team in a pennant race. Or maybe George just knows there is no race.

Tonight I'm going to see Jaws in Bryant Park. One of my favorite things to do is to see a movie outside. And Jaws is one of my favorite movies. So tonight will be quite gold.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Papelboy Delivers/The Bell Tolls

So the rumors were true. Mark Bellhorn (shown here in happier times in Cooperstown, NY) is essentially outta here. None of us will ever forget his post-season heroics. Thank you, Mark.

But, time marches on (on).

I guess it was just a misprint about Friday's game having been postponed. Terrible job by for messing that up. Good thing the game was played, since we got a ten-inning win.

I'm glad I missed all of Saturday's action. And that's all I'll say about that.

Today was a happier scene, with Edgar hitting a big three-run homer, then Ortiz bunting against the shift, setting up a Manny dong for a five-run eighth. Manny also made a great catch, but nothing we haven't seen from him before. (No, casual baseball fans, that's not sarcasm. Manny's a really good defensive ballplayer.)

Papelboy, aka Little Papi, pitched shutout ball for five and change.

That bottom of the ninth was quite interesting. Schilling comes in, refuses to waste 0-2 pitches as usual, and quickly a run is in and two men are in scoring position with one out. On a pop up to shallow right, Tony BrianEno goes back, the ball deflects off his glove and rolls down his wrist before Tony swings his glove around and nabs the ball out of the air. And this is after he and Edgar collided on a pop up for the first out of the inning. Schill got the third out, and we're four games up on New York again.

Those pigs lost thanks to the Unit giving up four homers in an inning, including three in a row. (Very large smile on face while typing that.) Good thing for them they've got Aaron Small and Shawn Chacon to bail them out. If I were those dudes, I'd be goin' up to Randy and saying, "Hey, tough loss again! You just can't seem to catch a break! Things'll turn around for you, old man."

They go home for the Jays, Blew, while we head to Kansas City, where Curt starts Thursday.

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