Saturday, September 07, 2013

Live-Blogging Us Becoming #1 In Baseball

Papelbon is one strike away from putting away the Braves....

Ha, nope, two-run dong, game tied. Ignore that subject line. For now. That is hilarious. Terrible job, old friend.



They scored 2.

We scored 1.

They scored 2 more.

We scored 1 again.

They scored 2 more again.

We scored 1 yet again.

They added 2 more.

Do the math here and you'll see we were down 8-3, and heading into the 7th it looked like we were gonna have to settle for a huge win in game one but a ho-hum loss in game two.

We scored 9.

Red Sox win, 12-Eight.

The key blow was one I called right down to the location (Kim can vouch), a grand dong for Napoli with TWO OUTS in the 7th to tie the game. No one in NESN land saw it like I did, which was that Ichiro thought he was timing the leap perfectly, styling it as he started to leap, only to realize too late that he was a few inches behind (and a few years too Jeter. I mean too old.) Had he used his speed to sprint back to the wall and THEN jump, it's an easy rob. Instead, it bounces just out of reach off the top of the wall, and 8-4 became 8-8.

Victorino's homer in the next inning (nice camerawork, NESN) put us up 10-8, and the Yanks were toast from there. Actually, they didn't get a hit in the last four innings. What a win. After another whattawin. And what a huge loss by the Yanks, a day after blowing what would have been their biggest win of the year.

As for our offense, check out the last 27 innings (in groups of 8, 10, 9, not 9, 9, 9):

02111852 0021301011 010110540

18 run-scoring innings to 9 goose eggs, for a total of 41 runs on 50 hits. In three games. The Miami Marlins didn't score their 41st run this year until their 19th game.

Yanks are back to having 3 teams to catch if they wanna play in Octomom.

I love how two big goats in this game were Hughes and Joba. My, how things have...never gotten to where they hoped. Joba Rules!

Allow me to keep writing. Imagine these last two games against any other opponent, with the standings being anything at all. Amazing. Incredible. But this is not only against the Yankees, it's right at a point where they were about to catch the team in the second wild card spot after a shitty start, and where we were starting September with a mid-sized division lead after losing 90+ games last year and having had a September collapse the year before. It's that thing where Hollywood couldn't have bla bla bla. This is just too perfect.

So let's look at the standings.

For best record:

Us --
Tigers 3
A's 4


SOX --
Rays 7
O's 9.5
Yanks 10
Jays 20

And the Yanks' only race:

Texas (-)2.5
Tampa --
Balty 2.5
Cleve 2.5
Yanks 3
KC 5

This is all not including the Rays' result tonight. It's tied in the 8th. And it feels really, really, really good to know that I can just go to bed right now and not worry about it. If they lose, we're 7.5 up (our biggest lead of the year) with 19 to play. If they win, the Yanks are 3.5 out with three teams to catch regardless.

Friday, September 06, 2013

Zed's Dead

I was thinking thoughts of "we'll get 'em tomorrow night"...but then I saw Mo!!!! Ha ha ha! And we owned his ass as usual. And then they gave us Joba as a bonus. And we turn a swear-filled diatribe into a happy recap.

The other night I, along with others I'm sure, said how "we've got our Dave Roberts" when we picked up Q-Bear. Tonight, he comes in in the exact Roberts situation, with the same guy on the mound and the same guy taking the throw! And the same thing happens! Only he goes to third too as the ball gets past gramps. And then Drew knocks him in, sending me, Kim, and the two cats plus the third new cat who we're trying to integrate into the household flying. The poor kitten was getting steamrolled but Amazing Larry as they both ran in place on the linoleum for their lives. He got to experience his first Red Sox-Yankees drama. I think he's officially a member of the family.

As for the "before"--we should have scored so many more runs and never been in that situation. And what was Jake doing still in there to start the inning? And why wouldn't NESN show replays of that strike to Jeter they called ball 4? Or a slow-mo of the Wells steal? Man, I was ready to invoke Munson tonight on the blog, I was so pissed. I was going to say things about Overbay's family members that I may have gone to jail for. What a win. Win of the year. We should have been talking about our resilience shining through for the NEXT game, but we saw it in this one. This game was like Butch's day in Pulp Fiction. If our girl/boyfriend asks us how the game went, we just have to laugh and say it's been the weirdest fucking game of our lives.

Do I get credit for picking my foot up off the floor when the Yanks were one strike away, so as the nonexistent baseball gods wouldn't think I was "standing" for the final strike? And then Koji. Whatta guy. Man would I love to hear Sterling's call of the final three outs. I wonder if he called their big inning their "finest hour" again. I wonder if he and Shit-zyn laughed pompously as Mo came in and gave stats that said, "in his career he's done nothing bad that I retain in my memory, for a total of 0% badness, a major league record."

I think I could go on and on about this game. I better stop. To recap, we went up 7-2, blew the whole lead, were down to our last strike against Mo, tied it, and won it in extras against Joba. OH! And what about when Soriano stole second on the botched pickoff and then decided to steal third too!? When he didn't need to! Good job by Pedroia doing the proper thing on the rundown play, as Drew got fooled. Too bad Remy wasn't around to talk about that from the infielders' perspective. But he probably wouldn't have done it anyway.

Okay, gotta go. Magic number is 17. Rays losing 6-2 in 6th. I can't even... I can't... ... my word, people. My effing word. Of awl the dramatic things I've eva...

Bottom update, to leave Yankee misery at top, 1:19 a.m.: Rays lose. We're 6.5 up with 20 to play. Magic number is 16! Yanks stay 2.5 back in WC but do you think they're sleeping well tonight?

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Red Sox Win 20-04

Red Sox dominate one of the best teams in baseball for a series win to hold big lead in division! Next up on WEEI: We'll talk about three negatives from last night's win, we'll compare this September collapse to those of the past, and we'll tell you how you're not "all in" or "on board" with the team you've loved all your life! Stay tuned!

Back to reality, that was a sweet fucking win. My mom, who seems to go to the most incredible games, was there with Charlie, and they sent me this pic from the bleachers. I love how Papi's 2000th hit was a double, putting him right at the middle of the field for the inevitable standing ovation. And then they played that song from 2001 for his 2,001st. Nice touch. I had been talking about that movie a few hours before. That song also has its place in team history as it was played for the flag-unfurling part of the ring ceremony in 2005.

BROOKS WAS HERE again! Will's grand slam turned a close game into a 10-4 one, good buddy, as part of an 8-run sixth, and we cruised from there, tacking on another decade. We hit EIGHT dongs in the game, tying a club record. What a way to head into 4 with the Yanks in The Bronx.

Don't even wanna think about the usual foolery tonight--not even the part where Tom Caron said that Papi's six hitless games in a row recently "had New England in an uproar."

Wednesday, September 04, 2013


What the eff is that, you ask? That's the playoff probability of the top two teams in the AL East over the past couple of weeks. Now which team would you look at and say, "let's compare this with a collapse the same team had in a recent season"? Certainly not the team shown in red, which is clearly going upwards and separating itself quickly from the blue team.

But hey, I guess these radio guys know what gets ratings.

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

We Continue To Rule

19-1 dude? No problem. Once again, this team rebounds after a loss. Lester did great and the pen did better. BROOKS WAS HERE with a key 2-run single. 2-1 win over the defending AL champs. We're 10-4 over our last 14 games.

The standings:

Us --
Detroit 1.5
Oak or Tex 2

Those standings are the Best Record race. Gotta get home field advantage, infant. The AL East lead is 6 as we wait for the Rays late result. If those cooked geese lose, the Yanks'll be 2 back in the Loss Column in the Wild Card race. They jumped Balty again tonight, too. I kept track of that goddamn Yanks game all night and I don't wanna talk about that goddamn fucking game. Stupid dumb White Sox. At least they already gave us three straight wins over the weekend. That's one shitty ballclub.

Wednesday night Dempster is a la cama con Porcello. (I didn't know which reference you're less likely to get, that Spanish channel one or a Youth of Today one, so I picked the former out of a metaphorical hat.) (But mentioned both in a parenthetical notation afterwards.) (Which was followed by a disclaimer and then another one.)

Where We've Been

May 1: Up 2
June 1: Up 2
July 1: Up 2.5
August 1: Up 1
September 1: Up 5.5

(This is after the games played on each date.)

Murals With Metaphors

The good: We got pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty good pitching from Lackey, and we were tied after 6 with the A.L.'s "other" best team.

The bad: We scored dick against them, losing 3-0.

Final verdict: Settle the fuck down.

The standings:

Us --
Rays 5.5

That's because the Rays lost* again tonight. It's sweet that our magic number is down to 20, but I don't want these Rays to choke away the second wild-card spot to the Yanks. But remember, the O's are ahead of the Yanks too, and it stayed that way as both won today. And the A's are now tied for the division lead in the West which makes it even more confusing. To sum up: Eff the Yanks and they goddamn better not make it. But if they do, it'll be nice to watch them in a sudden death playoff game while we relax.

*They haven't lost yet, but it's 10-2 Angels in the 7th. If the Rays win, I'll film myself doing a cartwheel and singing a song about their amazing comeback in the morning.**

**Video might not be available anywhere.

Monday, September 02, 2013

Worst Promotion Ever

Do you live in the Atlanta and love to go to baseball games but hate the Braves? Then check out the new "division lead" special! Lead down to 10? Tickets only 10 dollars! Down to 5? Five bucks! Root, root, root for the other team and start saving for your kid's college fund.

PS This isn't a joke, click that link. I wonder, if they blow the whole lead and are trailing in the division race, do they pay you to go the games?

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Sweep Dreams Are Made Of Obvious Wordplay. Who The Fuck Are You To Disagree!?

Update: Rays lose 5-1. It's a 5.5-game lead and the magic number is down to 21. After last year's late-season horridity, if that's a word. Crumbelievable.

Red Sox hold on for a 7-6 trombony win and a sweep of the White Sox! 5 games up! Pending Tampa's outcome. They trail 2-1 in the 5th. It's total gravy right about now--I'm not gonna worry too much if they win and our lead goes back to 4.5 and the Yanks go back to 4.5 themselves, back behind the Orioles either way. What I'm trying to say is, we're going to bed happy tonight, folks! We've got a nice cushion heading into the Tigers series tomorrow afternoon.

7 In The 7th

O's were down 3-0, looking tired, like they were about to get their asses swept. But they came up with a 7 spot in the 7th to beat the Yanks. Thank goddamn god. Right as their game changed, ours did too, as the White Sox turned 5-0 into 5-4. But we've still got the lead, 7-5, at stretch time. Rays went down 1-0 in the first, but the A's squandered a loaded, one-out situation. so they couldn't tack on. It's 1-1 in the second.

Live-Blogging End Of Rays-A's

As I type, the A's are two outs away from beating the Rays. If it happens, we're 4.5 games ahead. Uh oh, Myers just doubled. Tying run at the plate. Anyway, this is a weird situation now. We've got the Rays behind us in the division, but in the wild card lead over the Yanks. So if they lose it helps us both. I'll take one more loss, but then they gotta win tomorrow to keep the Yanks honest. Of course it would be key if on top of that, we win and the damn Orioles can actually beat the Yanks Sunday.

Okay, Loney's got a 3-0 count now. Finally a strike for Grant Ball-four. Now strike two....

Hello? Gameday doing nothing... and it's a walk. Here comes Lobaton with the tying runs on base.

Whoa, quickly a lineout, and the A's are an out away.

Here's "The Appointments of" Desmond Jennings.

2-0 count.

I hate watching the end of a game on Gameday, since the last out often just makes everything disappear and you don't know what happened. Goddamnit, a wild pitch, single could tie the game now, and it's 3 and 0 on Jennings.

Finally a strike...3-1.

Uh oh, in play, run(s)....! It's an RBI single. 2-1 A's. Turns out that wild pitch only advanced one runner before! So it was actually 1st and 3rd, now the single cuts it to one and it's 1st and 2nd for Kelly Johnson....

Oh! Ball in play, I can't tell...but I see the third out light is lit! Looks like it was a 3-1 groundout. We're 4.5 games up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I hate that the Yanks close to 3.5 back of that second WC. And that they've got no teams between them and Tampa in that race. But...4.5 games up!!!!!!! Gotta get that division first and foremost. Magic number down to 23.

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