Nice easy win by us last night. Lester vs. Guthrie tonight. Heard the beginning on the radio last night, and O'Brien started the game, with Castig intro-ing him. What's going on there? I need a regular radio listener to tell me why Castig neither starts nor finishes games anymore, when those have traditionally been spots for the main guy--the "voice of the Red Sox."

4.5 back, and our FTY number is still hovering around zero--meaning we're right around the same record as the average non-AL East first place team. So....

I guess I have sciatica. It hurts to sit down. I'm squirming all day. People probably think I have hemorrhoids. Hey, I just thought of something. If you have hemorrhoids and you're squirming all day, just say you have sciatica.

Red Sox at Orioles. HH & Tillman. After what happened last time down there, I expect nothing less than a sweep. The good kind.

Nutty game--A's score runs in five different innings. In each of those innings, Red Sox score, too. We also score in two other innings. But we still lose 9-8. That game was 'diculously frustrating just checking in, must have been ten times worse for people who got to watch it....

On to Balty for the weekend.

FTY: 0.1
FTY2: 0.9

Sox go for the sweep at 1:35.

Armando Galarraga's odyssey tonight was ruined on its final leg by none other than James Joyce. I head about the ElPer when it was in the 7th, and switched over to MLBNet to watch between pitches of the Red Sox game. The dude got through the eighth, and the ninth inning started with a deep fly to left center. Austin Jackson made a Willie Mays catch, and he was two outs away. An out later, a grounder between first and second. Dangerous, because who goes for the ball, and is the pitcher covering? Of course he was, as the first baseman makes the play, sets, and throws....out...perfect ga---no. Ump starts to make out call, then says safe. One freakin' out away, and the guy takes it away from the pitcher. Replay shows he was out. Meanwhile Kim had just come downstairs from watching one of those human-reunites-with-wild-animal videos and was all teary-eyed, and there I am welling up over the Tiger on my screen! I was really thinking there was gonna be a fist fight, and there almost was. Don't you love it--umps will call a strike on any 3-0 pitch, rulebook be more damned than usual, but close play as final out of perfect game that's in favor of the defense anyway?? Sorry, safe. The only thing I can think of is that Joyce was watching foot, listening for ball, heard ball before foot, looked up--and saw that move the pitcher made when he opened the glove, letting the ball come out for a split second before clenching it again. This came after the guy was already OUT. This kills me. Especially as someone who has wanted robot umps for years. You know how much this affected me? Look, I put it above the Red Sox in this post!

Here's what I think should happen. You can't get the perfect game back. But the official scorer can do whatever the hell he wants. Change that last play to an error on either guy--neither would mind--and at least get the guy a no-hitter. I saw Jeremy Hermida look a ball right into his glove tonight, only to have it doink off of it, and that wasn't called an error. So that last play of the Detroit game can be called an error.

Dice again with "one bad inning." Great job by us to come out swingin' after that bad top 1. And by Dice for keeping us in it after the 1st. The Papi blast on the 3-2 pitch with two outs was huge. The 'pen is kicking ass again and we win 6-4. Back in third place, still 5 out of first.

Eck just now describing a dong into the Monster Seats: "He puts this ball in the net." Love it! I think of it that way myself sometimes, too.

Two more notes on the shoulda-been-perfecto:

After Galarraga got through the eighth, TC on NESN said they were "headed to the ninth" in Detroit at 1-0. He was wrong, the bottom of the eighth wasn't over. At that point, I was like, Please, Detroit, score more runs. They did, making it a TJ by TC. I don't hate TC or anything, I just think it's funny when people are sure of stuff and tell it to the world, only to be proven the opposite of right. Also, the guy on MLBNet, as they went to the ninth for real, said that the pitcher would be facing the 7-8-9 hitters for Cleveland. Well, guy, if he wasn't, it wouldn't be a perfect game....

I was about to make my usual triple-double Ice Cube reference, but Victor went and got his fourth double! Ah well, it was still a good day. Loved the 8th inning mega tack-on to take some pressure off, and get Pap sitting down again. We win 9-4. Lackey needs to get his crap together, we can't be bailin' him out every time. Though he did a nice job getting out of the BLJ. And we did have some bad D behind him.

Gio Gonzalez started for them, and then Ross came in wearing #66. I think they should switch. GG should be 66.

Irony: When you hit a deep fly ball and watch it thinking it's dong, and then it bounces away and you get a triple--so had you ran you would have had the home run you thought you had. Happened to Bill Hall tonight, but the replay didn't show just how long he watched/dogged. I'll give him the BOTD and figure it was only for that first half-second.

Don/Rem didn't make enough out of the fact that a fly ball almost went IN that camera hole in the left field scoreboard.

Okay, I've tweaked the naming on my stats.

FTHEYANKS now equals the number of games a team is behind the average first place team NOT including the leader in the team's own division. This will be shortened to FTY.

FTHEYANKS2HELL now equals the number of games a team is behind the average first place team, including all 6 division leaders. This will be shortened to FTY2.

The Red Sox' FTY is a mere 0.7. So if you put us in a random non-AL East division 100 or 1,000 or a million times, we'd be an average of less than a game out of first place.

Our FTY2 is 1.4. So include the AL East and we're still less than a game and a half out.

Unfortunately, but, down the line, fortunately, we're in a division with a team that started out playing much better than anyone else in baseball, though they are finally coming down to earth.

Swingin' A's @ SOX, 7:10 E-daylight.

Happy New Month, everybody.

Congratulations, Boston sports media. You did such a great job of convincing baseball fans, including many Red Sox fans, that David Ortiz' career had ended, that he's not even in the top three in the all-star voting for DH. Vlad Guerrero is first, understandably. But second is Hideki Matsui, and third is Ken Griffey, Jr. Go ahead and look up their numbers. In fact, feel free to combine the two and then compare those numbers to Papi's. Ortiz is fifth. The guy in fourth has been released by his team.

It's all based on perception, and the media can control what people think. And they don't give a crap. I as at Fenway recently and after an Ortiz homer, I heard someone ask "what's wrong with Papi" before asking if that was his first home run.

If people like that hadn't been brainwashed, Papi would be in second place with Red Sox fans' votes alone. Instead it's those people who see the ballot and say, "Well Papi's career's over--is he even on the team anymore?--so I can't pick him....hmmm...that Ken Griffey's a class act...but let me grab another ballot so I can give Pat Burell some love too...nobody told me his career is over even thought he's been fucking released!..." Come on, people, pay a god damn ttention. Lots of time left in this vote.

The Athletics come to town this week. You know what that means. Bad news for the Athletics!

Hey, am I the only one who watches that Hoarders show and roots for the hoarders? I'd like to see a show where those high-and-mighty family members of the hoarders have us come to their house and dissect their problems! The hoarder could confront them: "Too many boxes? You've been pokin' your secretary for ten years! And shall we talk about that 'creative' tax return?"

Pretty gold day. Great free meter spot, $35 Monster standing room ticket, sat in front row of Monster all game. Win. Click a pic to blow its mind. I got up there during the RSN half-hour, and there was no Sox BP.
But the guy up on the Monster said "it's not busy now but it will be so grab a spot now." I guess "busy" is Monster staff lingo for batting practice.

Knowing I'd have those few moments where I was already up there, the rest of RSN was kicked off, and the gates were barely open, I brought my glove in hopes of getting my 16th lifetime ball.

I've pretty much taken these exact shots before, but....enjoy, again!

Seeing the L-screen set up confirmed KC would be hitting. It was a horrible wait, knowing that more and more people were entering the Monster Seats, as the gates were now open.

Finally, they brought out their balls. BP started, and all the righty Royals were hitting to the opposite field. You see, this is why they're the best hitting team! They're not up there just trying to hit it over the big wall, they're actually practicing fundamentals. Eventually, though, they pulled a few. Still, only a few came our way, and I don't think any cleared the seats. One was just to my left. A screaming line drive. I held my glove out, and before my mind could process the thought of moving one more step over, the ball was ricocheting back to the row below me. That was my one chance. Had it hit the little wall and gone down into my row, it was all mine as that row was empty. Oh well. Also, once again, the person down at the RSN entrance told a family that there'd be no batting practice, again saying how the team likes to sleep in. If they're just talking about the Red Sox, fine, but why not point out that the other team will might be hitting? I've heard them say this to people three times now--I really think they're trying to keep people out early for some reason.

During "the lull," I went all the way around the park, and got this shot of Lester with the crazy white cap on. Then I was under the bleachers when I did that mobile blog entry on my iDouche. It seems I can get the FenWifi, but only at ground level.

Up near the Monster Seats, a Dom DiMaggio plaque. It's funny how there are plaques and signifiers for things that I saw right when they became public before a plaque was made. So now I'm rediscoevring, and finally getting the scoop on, that stuff.

Okay so I saw an empty seat in the front row and grabbed it. I'm right next to the left tower. Find Kelly O'Connor in this pic! (Once again, I had no idea she was in the pic or even at the game until I got home and looked at these.) I got on TV on Scutaro's double to lead off the first. But these far away shots aren't really worth posting, now that I've been on in that close-up, behind-the-hitter spot.

Looking through the tower.

Was just taking a shot of the KC hats--didn't even know I was getting a pic of "my day" favorite, Kevin Seitzer! Does he still do that shoulder-jersey-pull-forward thing?

Here we come with the white hats.

The view.

Bloomquist asks for god's or jesus's or a dead relative's assistance. It was denied in the 8-1 loss.

Had a nice view of Darnell. In the second, I was kicked out of that spot. I was okay with just standing in back, but I decided to go down to Row 1 and check the long row between the two light towers. There I saw four empty seats. Eventually two dudes showed up next to me, but I kept my seat, and had an empty one next to me, ALL game. This happens almost every time I'm up there. Don't pay the $165 (or way more on shit-sites), just get the $35 and take a seat, you should get lucky. I like to think that the seats I grabbed were ones put up by some greedy bastard on ShitStainHub for like a thousand bucks, and no one bought them, and he had to eat 'em.

And when I looked to my left from my new spot, who did I see? Guy Fieri! From that show "Restaurants with Weird Stuff on the Walls" or whatever. You see him in the hat there? The first time someone called attention to him by asking for an autograph, I thought he was Kevin Millar. He also had his son with him, who had a camera the size of his head.

Here he is signing for this couple. See the bleached hair under the hat? I guess these aren't the best pics of him, so you'll just have to believe me.

Papi hit a dong to dead center, and what had been a close game soon became somewhat of a blowout.

With Cameron up, a balloon hat came out of the 3rd base pavilion. It was crazy windy, though we were shielded from it in the Monster Seats and just baked all day. SO this thing came shooting out and looked like it would land on the infield, a la that "Go Red Sox" banner on balloons from the '86 Series (later ripped off, albeit outdone, by the Shea parachutist). The shadow passed right in front of the batter--but Cameron hit a double right then, and at that moment, the balloons got caught up in the swirling wind and went right back toward the visitors' batter's box and landed. It then blew to the fence where a fan snatched it. I checked on mlb.tv, and was glad to see Don and Rem were joking about it. In the pic above, the thing itself.

Darnell without hat.

And Tek in his nutty camo gear. I bet Bill Lee would have worn Camus gear. Sox win 8-1 and summer has begun. Hey, I'm a poet and I'm unaware of that particular fact.

Dear Humidors,

I'll post photos from today's sweet win later. And I've added someone to my celeb sighting. (Not a Fenway-ish one, just somebody who happened to be sitting right near me at today's game.)

I still have no phone but I have an itouch. This is my 1st post from Fenway ever. The wifi works! So ...I won't do in game updates cuz I wanna watch the game. But I can tell u I have seen the crazy white hats...and the royals hardly hit any balls into themonster seats so I got none.