You know how I make movies and stuff? Well, my friend Brian makes better ones. He's finally started to put the ones he's made over the years onto GooTube. Here's the link to his channel. You can look for me in them, too. I'm the driver of the bear in the Bearabus movie, and the guy who battles zombies with hedge clippers in Punk Rock Zombies.

Possibly my favorite one is the one below, "Godzilla Gets Pissed," a preview for a non-existent Godzilla film. I play the Army general--no, that's not a fake beard, I actually grew that thing. Like nearly any look you ever have, you don't realize what it truly looked like until you see pictures later. Enjoy:



I gotta figure he'll add more eventually. When he puts up the movie he made about the Army, I'll put up my companion piece to it, which was kind of like a "making of" video.

I've added a clue to Kwiz Nein. (in the comments)

Now, I want to talk about an article I read. My Orioles fan friend who lives in or near Philly sent me this from a Philly paper. It started by saying how the Yankees aren't good for sports. I thought, That's cool, but still, I knew the inevitable was coming. Much like in Scent of a Woman when the other guilty kids are laughing while Slade is making fun of George and the school, only to have him turn to them and say "fuck you, too," I knew this writer was gonna give the tiresome "the Red Sox are the same as the Yankees" routine. And he did.

My theory on why this became common has to do with the media. I'm not saying "the media is pro-Yankees." But the side of the media who are pro-Yankees obviously wasn't going to stand for the Red Sox being "America's Team." In their little world, they always had the Red Sox to pick on and the Yanks to look up to. For decades. They're the same people that told us in the late-90s that "you can't hate THESE Yankees." and in 2001 that "if you're rooting against the Yankees, you hate America." So of course when the Red Sox finally won, they had to do something. The "Red Sox fans have turned into Yankee fans" articles were written long before 2004. They were stored away in the sports media basement along with all the baby heads and puppy dog hearts. Same with the "the Red Sox are just as 'evil' as the Yankees" articles. So we finally were bought by multi-millionaires, finally won the World Series, and out came the crap. America had seen a lot of us on their TVs (were they going to ignore a team winning after 86 years?), a lot of our fans in their stands (so sorry we care about our team) and, boom, tell everyone they hate the Red Sox, and some people believe it. I still say that A. most people you read online talking that crap are just bitter Yankee fans and B. most true baseball fans, even if they don't particularly like the Red Sox, couldn't possibly feel the same about both teams, if they remember or have studied the history of the game at all. The hate the average baseball fan has for the Yankees transcends....as I've said before, saying that Sox fans are just as bad as Yankee fans is like saying ex-slaves are just as bad as their former owners.

So back to this article I read. The guy talks about the Yanks' spending looking bad in these tough economic times, and then starts in with the brainwashed anti-Sox talk:

we are not here to commiserate with the Bostonians, who have celebrated two World Series titles, three Super Bowl victories and an NBA championship in this decade alone.

First of all, stop with the stuff from the other sports. It has nothing to do with this. You're basing whether to commiserate with us based on what different teams in different sports have done? Are you kidding me? So, are Bruins fans "spoiled"? Hey, if you're gonna give me as a Sox fan credit for having won all these non-baseball titles (which I don't want since I am not a fan of any of the other Boston-area teams), then why didn't you give me credit for them during that 86-year drought? "You Red Sox fans were spoiled from 1959-1972. You won twelve championships in fourteen years! No commiseration!" It just doesn't work that way. I can't take NBA, NFL, and NHL championships into my Red Sox trophy case, and you can't hate me when they happen. Because they have nothing to do with what we're talking about. When you start to go down that road, you have to take into consideration some cities don't have a team in each sport. Some have multiple teams in each sport. And some fans like teams from all different cities.

The guy continues:

Especially since their beloved Red Sox are a shark only slightly smaller and less voracious than the Great Blue monster from New York when it comes to preying in the free-agent waters.

Okay, so he didn't say we're the exact same, but he does say we're "only slightly smaller." (In weird, mismatched sea creature language.) Wrong! The Red Sox' bite radius doesn't match the one found on the victim. I still don't see how people are fooled into thinking the payrolls are anywhere near each other. First of all, last year, there were two teams between the Yankees and Red Sox in payroll. Second, the Yanks are WAY ahead of everybody else. 209 million to our 133. Our payroll was 63 per cent of theirs. By comparison, this guy's city's team, the Phillies, had a payroll 73 per cent of that of the Red Sox'. So by his logic, he should be commiserating with himself even less than he is with the Red Sox compared to the Yanks. (You know what I mean--that was a hard sentence to word.) Almost half the teams in baseball have a payroll at least 65 per cent of that of the Red Sox, whereas NO team comes that close to the Yankees.

I realize that we're in the top three non-Yankee teams (again, why include them when they're so far above everyone else?) in payroll--I'm not trying to pretend we're not. But as I always say, we're doing it with the smallest, oldest park in the Majors, which we pack every single night, despite that it's got high-priced tickets.

there is no pity for the Sox or their spoiled fans.

The Red Sox, like the Phillies, have won exactly two World Series titles in the last 90 years. Is this guy crazy? And, note, he specifically mentions Sox fans here, not incorrectly including other Boston teams' championships.

In fairness, MLB did create a luxury tax system that punishes overspenders such as the Yankees and Red Sox

The Red Sox did NOT have to pay the luxury tax last season. And we're not "overspending" anyway, we're just forced, like everybody else, to try and keep up with the one team who blatantly overspends.

But the Sox and Yankees do spend their way to the postseason virtually every year, which means each always has a chance to win it all.

I agree with him in that a lot of people talk about how lower-payroll teams have won it all lately, yet the reality is only the high-payroll teams have a chance EVERY year, not just in that one year before they have to have a firesale. But to not mention the solid farm system the Red Sox have built? I wouldn't call the championship team led by Youkilis, Pedroia, Ellsbury and Papelbon a "bought team."

The guy does talk about how the Phils' payroll ain't tiny either. So that's good. I just wish he'd separate the evil with the regular.

I totally think people should just like their own team. I'm not begging people to like my team. And if you want to hate them, fine--but for god's sake, can't I at least get a "well, yeah, I hate them lately, but of course--OF COURSE--it's not on the level I hate the Yankees on. What do you think, I'm fucking crazy?"

Well, there are a lot of things, actually. But one is that we're not jumping off bridges. If anyone did want to do that, they already did it after the AJ/CC signings. This wasn't a situation where we were equal teams who tied for the division title last year, each needing a first baseman to put us over the top. Teixeira would've been a luxury for us, whereas he's a hole filled for them. Of course I would've rather seen another team sign him? Why wouldn't I?

And how could they forget that this isn't the old days? We don't think "Oh no, another star goes to the Yanks, will we ever win a championship?" How do they not realize that in the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry, we've got the upper hand? They haven't won anything. They've just spent a lot of money, like they always do. Again, I love this new world where Yankee fans think of things like this as a "victory." There was a time when they only considered their team actually proving itself to be the best (provided, with the aid of performance-enhancing drugs, as admitted by their owner) to be a victory. Now, it's like, "Our logo's better! World Champs! Our stadium's bottled water tastes better! World Champs!"

But a thing like this Teixeira signing is the best example, because not only to they have to pretend like they've won something, they have to pretend we're upset about it. The pitching is gonna make or break each side. We've got seven solid offensive players in our lineup, they've got four. So even if it did come down to that, we've got the advantage anyway. But it won't. If we can keep Beckett healthy all year, we have the pitching that will get us to October. And the farm system to get us to the next decade. I just love how the Yanks are always one step behind us. Oh, going with young guys is the way to go, we'll try that. Whoops. We'll scrap that theory mid-stream and just throw cash at the best free agents again.

Look, Yankee people, try winning again before you open your mouths. October, not December.

[Added to this post later because I forgot before: Another ridiculous thing Yankee fans keep saying is that same old crap about "our side isn't afraid to spend the money." "We do what it takes." Are you stupid? Can't you see that whatever it is you're doing isn't winning you championships? And that what we're doing IS winning US championships?" We've clearly "done what it takes." You clearly haven't. You've done what it takes to LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE. Losers.]

[Added to that because 15-year old Yankee fans weren't around for the 86 years: When I call you a "loser," it's to rub in the fact that the Yankees haven't won since last century. Your older brethren called us that (and "chokers") on a daily basis. I shouldn't have to explain this. I'm not some young kid who thinks baseball started eight years ago and we've always won and you've always lost. I'm just pointing out to people who take great pride in their "winning tradition" that the pathetic Red Sox have been winning lately while your shitty, fake-classy team has been anti-winning.]

[A great example of how I'm the dude who gets it and I'm dealing with 15-year olds is the comment I just got telling me how I'm the one who doesn't get it because my team "was in 2nd place every year until last year." Fucking idiot doesn't remember life before 1996, and on top of it, considers 2004 a win for them because they came in first and we came in second, despite that we won the World Series. Unbelievable. (I got linked on MLB Trade Rumors, which explains the glut of 15-year old, unable to communicate beyond a broken-English text message comments. Which I'm happily not posting.)]

I know what I forgot to tell you...you know that Acme Store inside Thorne's in Northampton? They've got some really cheap Red Sox shirts. All that stuff that normally costs 30 bucks, they've got it for 7.99. Those 80 dollar hooded sweatshirts--14.99. Some are a little weird, but most seem okay. It's not like it's old players or defunct logos, either. An entire crate must've fallen off the truck or something.

For Xmas, I'll give you some snowy shots. Then we'll get back to December baseball. Click to enlarge.
From the night of the first big snow of '08-'09 and first at our new house in Providence. They never did fully plow our street, but the rain has washed much of the sheet of ice away.

The next day, snow on the birdhouse.

I love getting shots with one little but a of color. "Stop sign in snow" is the perfect example.

Snow in Roger Williams Park.

More of the snowy park. You can see the greenhouse on the hill.

"Yield sign in snow" gives the same effect I described above. I messed with this picture to try to make it look cooler--I always fear I should've just gone with the original...

On Monday we went to Northampton and stayed overnight--at Hotel Northampton. We see it every time we go there, so we finally decided to stay there. It was nice--would be nicer in the summer, though, since it's go the balcony, and our room had a separate, unheated room attached to it. Here's the view of downtown. Calvin Theater at left, some hill way out there.

Had to get a shot of the handcuffs in the courthouse window.

This girl was walking through the snow with a summer-y poster. Okay, that's really Kim and it's a posed shot. She bought me this Endless Summer poster for Xmas, and I realized as she was carrying it through the snow what a good shot it could be. Would've been even cooler if she'd just bought me an actual surfboard.

It was while we were hanging out in Northampton when we found out about the slime signing Teixeira, hence not much posting here while it was going down. Is it possible that while we were away, the cats were looking at themselves in the mirror? See paw prints below.

No, cash itself won't be on the field in the Yanks' organization, just another one of our castoffs, Kevin Cash.

The "All Players who Won with the Red Sox and then Went to the Losing Side" Team:

C: Cash
1B: Mienkaeieaveiaeivieich
2B: Bellhorn
OF: Damon
P: Embree
P: Mendoza (went to Yanks after getting an '04 ring, even though he was with them before us)
P: Myers

You just aren't taking the right ones anymore, losers!

So ol' Tex decides to join Hitler Youth. Can't wait to see that fuckstick at Fenway next year. You know who I was rooting for in all this? The Orioles! We've got our infield set--I was kinda hoping he'd go to his hometown team and maybe between the four of us, we could put the Yanks into fifth place. In the meantime, we'll see how their attempt to "buy second place" goes. This makes their lineup better, but it's still not better than ours. The whole key is their pitching--if those two new dudes become some kind of co-ace, they'll be tough to beat, but I'm not too worried about those third place losers.

In 2008, only the top two teams, the Yanks and Tigers (payroll-wise, not much else-wise), were above the threshold at which the luxury tax is charged. I like how the AP article uses "computer" as a verb. The word is "compute."

Also, this article says a Teixeira announcement will be made "today." Please note that tomorrow will also be referred to as "today" in about 12 hours. For what it's worth (usually nothing when Mr. Unnamed Source does his sinful business) they say it's gonna be the Red Sox making the announcement.

The bookstore that fired me ten years ago finally gets the book I wrote in stock! Haha!

Doesn't quite top when a fired co-worker of mine at the same store returned in poster form, his mug plastered right on the desk he used to work behind after his band got signed.

Harvey Araton wrote a piece about the Yankee fan's pros and cons of having Manny on your team, which is kind of similar to the piece I wrote about it from the Red Sox fan's point of view.

Speaking of that, the Trade Rumors site says Manny is actually close to signing with the face of all that is evil and soulless in the universe--but the source is one which often gets things wrong.

I tend not to "report" on any rumors unless something is actually happening, but, since I was talkin' 'bout Manny I figure I should point that one out. [Update, the next day: Cashman says it's not true--another media report shot down. Keep telling lies, sports media, then make fun of bloggers, but use all our ideas....]

The other "big news" today was that the Angels, like us, pretended to pull out of the Teixeira sweepstakes. All I can think of is that Steve Martin routine where he's in a diving competition and he screws up and gets bad scores, so he pretends like he's drowning, and all the judges feel bad and raise their scores, leading all the other competitors to jump in the pool and pretend they're drowning, too: "Look, Tex, we're out too! Pick us!"

We got, like, a foot of snow or something. Here's me sledding.

Dock Ellis, the man who once tried to bean the entire Cincinnati Reds lineup in succession, died on Friday.