On that Applebee's commercial with the two dudes singing a parody of the Gilligan's Island theme (it's inconsistent, borrowing from both the opening and closing themes), why the hell do they say "a three hour tooo-er"? Who says "tour" like that? It's almost like they're imitating the original singer or something, but that wouldn't make sense, because he sang "tour" in a perfectly normal and acceptable way.

Even more inexplicable is how Chan refuses to care about or even acknowledge the pure and utter ridiculum that is the way they say "tour."

[Note: If I don't write anything else this weekend, all the people that find this blog on Opening day through googling "baseball" or "Red Sox" or "I still think blogs are cool and I kinda like baseball and the news told me the season's starting soon" are going to see this post and not only never return here, but specifically tell their friends to not come here. Oh well. Their funeral.]

Last night I went down to Ground Zero. Click on pics to enlarge. Here's a better map of what's now Ground 0. The area of detail is now a big hole in the ground. All of the numbered buildings are gone. Building 7 also collapsed and has been replaced.

From the southeast corner, looking north along the east wall of the hole. The building just left of center is actually a refection of a building in the new, mirror-y #7.

The Deutsche Bank building, just south of the hole. (Not even half as tall as the twin towers were.) It's scheduled to come down in May. The next photo is a close-up of the makeshift staircase, with the little lights, that goes up the north face.



It's really sad to think of someone not being able to think of things like ketchup and Pringles without having to think of losing their family member in the attacks.

Another building not that's not in very good shape, just west of the Deutsche Bank building.

Looking north along the east edge of the hole.

A huge drain along the east wall. The ladder inside gives perspective.

The northwest corner of the hole, taken from the east side of it.

This fire station is right on the south side of the hole, facing it.

Looking east out over the hole, from 1 World Financial Center. This complex, just west of Ground Zero, is still fully functional. It must be so weird for the people who have worked there since pre-2001.

Looking east along the south wall. You can see people peering in throught the fence on the right, under the American flag.

This is taken from the east of where building #5 was, looking west.
This staircase is the last thing within the site still standing. Apparently, some of the last people to escape the area alive on September 11th used this staircase. The next two shots close in on it.





View from the southwest corner.

And from the northeast, you can see the ramp from the last pic from the opposite direction.

From the northeast, looking south. You can see the doomed Deutsch Bank building (the black one) that I mentioned earlier, with its makeshift zigzagging staircase.

The new Building #7.

On the far left, the edge of the new 7. On the right is Fiterman Hall, to show you how close the two are.

The Woolworth Building, once the tallest in the world, as seen from Ground Zero.

Woolworth Building reflected in new #7.

From the unfinished plaza of the new #7, looking south out over the hole. You can see, yet again, the Deutsch Bank building on the other side of Ground Zero.

Fiterman Hall.

Being down there for a while, I got a sense like the commuters streaming around me, while used to people with cameras I'm sure, would rather I not be there. I was just one more person in their way. For them, it's no big deal, I guess, since they walk by there every day. It has been almost five years after all. But it's something I'm interested in, so I just went down there. I'm not so sure the air quality down there is back to normal. I coughed up, uh, something, afterwards. It wasn't as bad as when I went down there in early November of 2001. I was in the city and decided to go check it out. This was before the first "viewing station" was set up. I remember walking down West Broadway, headed toward the smoke still rising from the site, going past cars that obviously hadn't moved since before September 11th, covered in gray dust. Then I followed the crowd that was slowly moving toward Ground Zero, even though it was late at night. A worker was warning everyone: "The air is not safe here. Cover your face. If you have children, don't bring them in here." And I remember walking up to a fence, peering through a hole and seeing a building that looked like the one in the Oklahoma City bombing, its face torn off. And then walking away. It was like a funeral procession. The smell there was the worst I'd ever experienced. It hurt my nose. As I walked away I noticed my sneakers had turned gray.

Here's a pic I took of the twin towers in March of 1994:

Shot I took of the twin towers in 1994.

Words can and will describe how much I hate it when people use the phrase "Words can't describe..."

I hate it more than when I have to wait a while on line when I'm only buying a Twix, but not as much as when I have to walk through a river of dog pee. How simple was that?

Why can't people think of words to use?

What's worse, though, is that those people usually do follow up the line with an attempt at a description anyway:

"How does it feel to win this backgammon tournament in front of your hometown fans, coach?"

"Words can't describe it. It's just amazing."

For unknown reasons, I decided to go down to the World Trade Center site tonight after work. I'll post the rest of my video stills tomorrow. For now, you get Fiterman Hall. It's amazing to me that there are buildings down there that are useless, but remain standing. (And that almost five years later, the site is still just a big hole in the ground.) I guess they have to fully decontaminate before they can "deconstruct them," but, come on, five years?

The Fiterman, apparently, will be taken down later this year. Its facade and upper floors were mangled when Building 7 collapsed. In my picture above, you can see the white facade to the left, and then the huge area where the rest of it had been to the right. If you look at the map, it's the building north of WTC 7, listed as "30 West Broadway." (The gray buildings are the ones that are no longer there.) I was standing just north of the "7" in "WTC 7" on the map. The western side of the old 7 is where the new 7 stands (but has not yet opened). The eastern side is the new 7's plaza, not yet finished.

It also amazes me how close they let people get to these unstable buildings. (There is a screen over Fitey, though it's hard to see.) Tomorrow you'll see my shots from the base of the Deutsche Bank building directly south of the WTC--the one that human bones were found in a few days ago. It will come down in May.

Joe Girardi was a backup catcher for Mr. Dunbar, before continuing to kiss Steinbrenner's butt as an announcer. Now he's a big league manager, and apparently George's rules regarding hair have rubbed off on him.

"You have a responsibility of what you look like," he said.

So ridiculous. He's taken it one step further and doesn't even allow his Marlin players to have moustaches.

Some people are so dumb that they can't tell the difference between actual respect and symbols of respect. Think about it, it's the person in the three-piece suit who's going to screw you over, not the person who lets hair grow naturally on their body. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids to see past what's on the surface? What the shit?

It's like the time I wore a hat indoors at my ex's grandma's house, while her cousin brought a porno mag. Who do you think everyone was pissed at? If someone doesn't appreciate the respect I'm treating them with because it didn't come in a shiny, clean package, they can shove it up their phony ass. I'd love it if the Marlins were in first place at the All-Star break, and then they all showed up for the second half with three days of sloppy growth.

In a stunning turn of events, Sox-blogger and Jere-nemesis Beth has plugged my mom's work. In that post, at the top, in the 1980 section, click on her link about the Hartford Circus fire. You'll be sent to a page which talks about the fire, and lists some resources. One of those resources: The book Masters of Illusion by Mary-Ann Tirone Smith. My mom.

Interesting, Beth talks of being born in 1980 (my favorite year), and mentions it's the same year as Reagan was elected, and the same day as the fire, which took place in 1944. My mom, who wrote the book about the fire, was born in 1944...on Ronald Reagan's birthday. Weird.

Anyway, all of a sudden Beth is, albeit inadvertently, plugging one of my mom's books, writing about Nine Inch Nails, being born in my favorite year...what's going on here? Next thing I know she'll actually link to this blog! Eh, no chance. She won't even see this anyway. You could print this out and hold it right up to her face and the words would disappear into thin air, because I wrote them.

The other day, I found out that the new Beastie Boys movie, Awesome; I Fuckin' Shot That!, would be previewed sneakily tonight here in the city. The bonus was that Beastie Boy MCA, who directed the movie (as Nathanial Hornblower), would be there to answer questions afterward.

That sounded sweet enough. Being an American between the ages of 15 and 40, I'm a fan of their music. I was in middle school when they introduced rap to the 'burbs (via Russell Simmons and Rick Rubin), and I've been down with their ever-changing schtick ever since. In fact, I think of them as the Beatles of my generation. Think about it: They came out of nowhere to introduce (or steal, if you will) a style of music primarily played by black people to white America. After several years of popularity, they changed their style while retaining that popularity. Then they became activists. And they both had feature films made about them. And no one seems to hate them. Something like that.

But I got more for my money than that. Before the film started, up on the fourth floor, SNL cast member Seth Myers came in, and stopped right near me to talk to someone. (Myers has made it known on SNL that he's a lifelong Sox fan.) As he finished up with them, he passed me. "Seth," I said. (I felt this was an appropriate opening line.) He looked down and I gestured toward my hat and said "Go Sox." He immediately gave me the "you're all right" handshake. He said, "You feelin' good about this year?" I started nodding and saying that I was, and we both did the head nod while saying "Feelin' good, feelin' good" to each other.

I also noticed another SNL cast member, Amy Poehler, zip past, with someone else who looked familiar.

Then MCA came out and briefly introduced the movie. It was great. More on that later.

At the end, he came back, only it wasn't just him as promised, but all three Beastie Boys. I was psyched. MCA was the granddaddy of them all, with his severely graying hair and beard, and green suit. Ad Rock was looking as slyngly and squirgy as he did in '86 (note: those aren't real words, just what I think of when I see his face. You know the face), with a gray overcoat and wacky hat. Mike D was quiet and looked like Perry Farrell, as usual, in a plain black suit.

They fielded some rather empty questions for about fifteen minutes. The funniest moment: Kid asks "Me and my friends have seen you in concert, I've seen this movie now, and we always wonder, and I have to ask, How do you go two hours without taking a piss?" They all look at him like he'd just asked the really stupid question he had, and MCA deadpans, "How may times did you piss during the movie?"

Someone else asked how much Ad Rock and Mike D contributed to the movie- and video-making processes. Mike D said "We usually put our two cents in...and they get sent back."

Then they said goodbye, and I left the room wishing I had a camera, especially when I walked right past Ad Rock, standing right there in the lobby.

As I went down the escalator, I realized Poehler was a few people in front of me. And that dude, I know him...it's that guy from Arrested Development. The guy who plays the brother. He's married to Amy Poehler. As we got to the second escalator, I was right behind them. I wanted their autographs, but didn't know how to approach the subject, knowing only one of their names. On the third escalator, I made my move. "Excuse me, Amy Poehler. I've been behind you for the last three escalators. I can't miss my chance now." She was really nice and complied with my autograph request. Then I came in with "It'd be cool if I could get both your autographs." I don't think Will Arnett--I know now--was too happy that I didn't say his name, but I got the 'graph nonetheless. Then as we reached the front door, she sees my Sox hat and asks if I'm from Boston. She's also from the Boston area, as almost all New Yorkers seem to be. I told her Connecticut, and that I talked to Seth earlier. And she invited me to join her and Will at their estate in the Hamptons. That's all true except for the Hamptons thing.

So, it was a great night. Stop reading now if you don't want to hear about the details of the movie, or if you don't give a crap about it.

The concept of the movie is: 50 fans at a Beastie Boys concert at MSG in 2004 were given camcorders. They all filmed the whole show, and the footage was compiled to make a feature-length film. I will say this: Great idea. I liked it the first time when it was called "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi! Remember? With Sam Kinnison handing out handi-cams?

Anyway, despite that no one's mentioning that they stole this idea, albeit taking it to full-length level whereas Bon Jovi's was just a three-minute video, this is a great film.

You really feel like you're in the Garden. It helped that they turned the volume up to concert level. (Yauch even said during the Q & A afterward, we put some extra subs in here for you tonight, tapping on the speaker he was sitting on.) See this in the theater, unless you have a Butchie-esque* home theater set-up.

When I see concert-type films, they're always so polished. You get to see the band close-up and in brilliant color, with perfect sound. That can be cool. But if you want to feel like you're at a concert, you need shots from crappy seats, with crappy quality video, and muffled sound. It really works here. They'll cut from a shot right on stage, to a dude in the john, with the audio track going from crystal-clear to, well, what it sounds like when you're in the bathroom at a concert. But perfectly edited at all times, so you never miss a note of any tune.

That is unless someone goes so far from the stage you can't hear the band anyway. One group snuck around the arena, even trying to pick a locked door with a credit card. But the concert never "stops."

While the show is going on, we see shots of the crowd occasionally, but it's mainly the band from every imaginable angle. Hornblower throws in some camera tricks, though. They always catch you off guard. You're at the point where you think you're there, and then all of a sudden an effect comes in. At one point, they cut between a girl in the crowd and a band member doing a similar dance. Soon they are transposed on top of one another, and appear together with an island background. Sounds silly, and is, but these things only occur enough to add a little something extra to the basic concert style of the film.

The concert went down like this, to the best of memory and from what I sribbled down:

A song I forgot, Sure Shot, and Root Down.
Then, Doug E. Fresh came out and did a song with them, I can't remember which one.
Then Pass the Mic and Shake Your Rump.

Then, a big, lit up, rolling vessel comes through the darkness. The Boys now have instruments, and do some loungey stuff with some other dudes, while resting their voices.

Then, I wrote some word, but the pen didn't work. It looks like "fishback."

Then the vessel leaves and they come out wearing shirts with game names on them: Boggle, Yahtzee, Mah-Jong, Critters, Scrabble. Mixmaster Mike has an Electronic Battleship shirt on. They had started the show with matching green sweatsuits.

Then Right Right Now Now, followed by a version of Paul Revere sung almost entirely by the crowd.

Then Body Movin.' Then 3 MCs and 1 DJ. Then Brass Monkey and So Whatcha Want. Then Ch-Check It Out.

At this point, they all start running away through the arena. They get to the elevator, where we cut back and forth from them with the elevator music to the waiting crowd. They arrive in the upper level of the arena, where they proceed to do Intergalactic amongst the people in the nosebleeds. Then they run back down to the stage.

Now they have instruments again, and they play Gratitude. At this point you know they're gonna close with Sabotage, and they do. Ad Rock dedicates it to George W.

It's a cool movie, and it's now 1:30 AM, so I'm done. Go see it.


*A dude I know named Butchie knows a lot about home theater systems and whatnot.

No, there's no movie.

Infield Grandstand section 29, Row 1, seat 19, unobstructed, seems to be on sale for almost every weekend game all of a sudden. (Except Dunbar games, of course.) Looks like somebody with a coveted weekend plan had their card declined. Or, as I like to think of it, they broke up with their boyfriend and sold back one of their two tickets. Here's your chance to get into that final game of the year, or, just go to Fenway by yourself on a summer Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Or buy all the ones you want and build your own loner weekend plan! You people that live close to Fenway are so lucky...

Apparently, Randy Johnson has a "secret daughter."

"[The girl's mom] said Johnson only saw the girl once, soon after her birth - and said he never made any effort to be involved in her life. 'Nope, nothing, never,' she told the Web site when asked about Johnson's relationship to the girl."

Isn't it funny how newspapers will find an old picture of a subject making a face that would correspond to the current situation?

Okay, I you-tubed this thing for anyone who just doesn't have the time to go clicking around all crazy-like.

The movie is called "Me First." The song is Clonie by Nellie McKay.

Exciting news! I'm starting a website called "The Million Dollar Blog"! It's made up entirely of ad spaces! There is a total of ONE ad spaces available on the site! Each ad space can be purchased from me (I accept paypal!) for the low price of ONE MILLION DOLLARS! If I can fill all ONE ad spaces, I will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Help me reach my goal, while benefitting your own website! I really think this idea will work! How can it fail?? I'll never have to work again! Click here to place your ad on my site! No, here. No, wait, click over here. Press your mouse extra hard if necessary.

Fat shit Wells gives up six in the third.

and

"Tavarez then connected with a punch, and players rushed the field."

In other words, no surprises from Ft. Myers.

Yeah, we have too many pitchers lyin' around. Keep the old, shitty, and psycho ones and trade the rest away for platoon outfielders with magical, mystical upside and potential.

Isn't it weird how I was, like, the one Red Sox fan who thought everything was fine in the first place, and then once they started making moves that everyone seems to like, I became more pessimistic?

Look here for Jere's new movie:

I'm about three months late with this, I know. I think when I saw WCSG's latest flick, which can be seen here, that kind of inspired me to go through with my idea. Better late than at an unspecified future date.

So, all I'll say for now is that the movie is called Me First. All video was shot by me in Cooperstown, NY, Toronto, Canada, Cleveland, OH, Philadelphia, PA, and Boston, MA. Eventually I'll post the lyrics to the song in the movie here. Putting them here now would give away the theme of the movie, and I want people to go in fresh, Frank Costanza-style.

To view the rest of my movies, including the one about the crazy kids, the one where Manny points to the upper deck, the farewell to Bill Mueller, the one where Millar grabs Mirabelli's butt, and the World Series parade video, click on these words.

Some of you may notice that in this new movie some of the video stills I've posted here in the past coming to life, much like the baby from the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind came to life in their "Come As You Are" video.

Speaking of that, JS got the last quiz answer, which dealt with another song from Nevermind, in a quiz that was a spinoff of another quiz whose answer dealt with a song from the Never Mind The Bullocks album. I forgot where I was going with this. Never mind. Just watch the movie and tell me if you like it, hate it, or don't get it (like Chan).

Labels: movies

Beckett looked on today. I'm psyched to see him pitch at Fenway this season. Hansen was also great in two relief innings. And Spiro T. Graf hit a farewell home run of sorts.

I'm hoping to have a new movie for you folks to watch soon. Just a warning.