Saturday, July 02, 2011

One More

After tonight's 10-4 win in Houey, we've got three possibilities as we re-enter the season on July 4th, our "independence day," if you will:

1.5 out. With the Yanks playing the Mets, fat chance. I'll sit there and watch a Twins-Yanks series with complete optimism, but when they play the Mets, I never hold my breath.

2.5 out. Due to the above statement, I'd be very happy with this.

3.5 out. I'd be a little pissed, but the happiness that comes from the independence from Interlegious Oppression would outweigh it.

Lass The Ass

I missed the beginning. It was another Craptional League fest, but then I tuned in. You're welcome. We turned 5-1 them into 7-5 in one inning. Pedroia turned all the way around while running to first on the game-tying hit to give shit to ump Laz Diaz after an earlier bad call. Yanks played the Mets so we gained no ground. Two more shitty NL games, then we're done!

Friday, July 01, 2011

Betterness Gotten

As we knew, the Red Sox were going to make one of those "It Gets Better" videos. Well, the video is out. It's right there on, and here at the It Gets Better Project site. Actually, I'll go ahead and embed the YouTube version (only at 314 views as of now) below. Of course, I'd been curious about which Red Sox would take part in the video. Turns out it's Tito, Tek, and Youk. If these weren't already three of my favorite Red Sox, they would have moved to the top of the list anyway today. Great job by them. In a world where a lot of lunkheads think that gay people are some kind of monsters out to destroy their "pure" (ha!) way of life, it's great to see any celebrity, especially athletes, stand up for the gay community. If there's one thing harder than being different (in any way), it's being young and different. And that's what this whole It Gets Better/Trevor Project is about.

Unrelated: More great stuff from Hauls of Shame. This time it's about a fake Ty Cobb diary. And you know "Barry the Hatchet"/"Halper the Scalper"'s involved...

Happy New Month, everybody. My New Month's Resolution is to end Interleague Play once and for all. Well, that's more of a years-long aspiration. I guess I'll just give up soda. Again.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Base Ball To Day

"I hear a lot of people talking about tradition, things like that, but I guess you gotta turn the page." --David Ortiz, on DH vs. no-DH.

Red Sox @ Phils, 1:00.

2:34: Reddick's had two hits. His triple started a 2-run fifth inning rally, and we lead 2-0 at the end of five. Gonzalez hit a wicked liner that knocked the glove off of Hamels. He did not come back for the following inning (which is when we scored the runs). Lester didn't allow a hit till the fourth.

2:54: Tek homers, so it's 3-0 Sox after 6. You know how NESN so commonly is fooled by fly balls, to the point where they'll just show the ball in the sky, only to have it fall almost right out of frame and into the waiting outfielder's glove? Well on this ball, they followed the fielder, zoomed in, all the way to the wall, so when the ball landed over the wall, we didn't even see it. Not even on a replay.

3:23: Still 3-0 Boston after 7. Each team stranded 2 in the 7th. Lester has thrown 120 pitches, great job by him today.

3:33: Clean-up hitter Pedroia barely gets one over the wall, then Tek hits one WAY over the wall. (Reddick just missed a Reddong that would have made it back to back to back.) 5-0 Sox, mid-8th.

4:07: 5-0 going bottom 9, Jenx comes in, gives up 2-run dong to Howard then walks a guy. So with one out and one on, Papelbon comes in....

4:11: Tito's 700th Red Sox win! Pap gets the batters he faces and it's a 5-2 victory.

When You Talk A Lot, Eventually You Spout A Gem

Quote of the year (decade?):

"You know, I always wonder what I'm going to be in the middle of when I die, and I just hope it's not in the middle of the greatest pennant race ever." --Charlie Sheen

From this article. (Thanks, Kara!)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Five Days

Till the baseball season resumes.

All-Star Voting--Do It Now

[If you don't want to read the whole thing--all you have to remember is: Alex Avila for catcher, and Ellsbury (but NOT Hamilton) for outfield. Click here to vote. Thank you.]

If you look really hard, you can actually find a player with a lower on-base percentage and a lower slugging percentage than JD Drew. That player is Derek Jeter. Apparently a season like that is worthy of dominating your position in the All-Star balloting.

So people just pick the guy they know, not the one doing well...except at catcher, where everyone knows Joe Mauer is easily the best, but since he hasn't played much, they all say, Oh, this Russell Martin character really deserves it, it's the fair thing to do. So stupid.

With less than two days to get your votes in, here's what we're doin':

Catcher: This is the most important one. Alex Avila is close enough to the Yanks' Martin where he can catch him with a late flurry. Salty has no chance. Break the soXedge and go ALEX AVILA. 25 times, Avila. Then use your second account and vote 25 more times. Several Yanks have pretty much clinched spots so we have to minimize the damage.

First base: Adrian's pretty much clinched over fuckface but throw him all your votes anyway to ensure he gets it.

Second base: Dustin's the great all-around player people think Cano is, and Cano is the shit-eating prick Pedroia pretends to be. Once the perception's there, it's hard to change. People don't have a clue. Cano's pretty much clinched it, but Dustin's second so ya just gotta go 25 for him and hope for the best.

Third base: A-Rod's got it pretty easily over Beltre. Then Youk's slightly behind him. It may not even be worth it to give votes to Beltre, so maybe try to get Youk the second-place nod.

Shortstop: Asdrubal Cabrera is our only hope. 25 (go 75 if you can) for Asdrubal and see if we can knock, who am I kidding, if Jeter loses, they'll probably find some reason to give it to him anyway.

Designated Hitter: Papi's a lock, but don't forget to give him your 25.

Outfield: Jacoby Ellsbury is a mere 120,000 votes behind the Drug Czar, Josh Hamilton. This is the other very important one. Vote Ellsbury, and pick two other dudes who are NOT named Josh Hamilton. We will get this done.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Fine job by Cliff Lee, you're pretty much not gonna beat him on a night like that.

But still...

Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis? Whyarewedoingthis?

I gotta watch Josh Beckett hit a grounder and walk to first base carrying the bat all the way to the bag like that kid in Little League who stands in the batter's box with both feet facing forward! In a game that counts! We've got a pennant race to worry about, Selig! End it! Maybe next year we could have 18 orgies mid-season with a team of llamas and have those count! The public (who loves Justin Beiber) will love it! I know, I know, how do you "win" an orgy? I don't know, but my point is, I never wanna see the double switch when the Red Sox are playing. Or the pitcher getting wood from a rack. Baseball and "National League Baseball" are as different as llamas and non-llamas.

Now what's with Don Orsillo doing these Predict-A-Calls? He's done this for a while, and honestly, I almost thought the audio was a split-second ahead of the behind-plate cam, because Don often seems to say stuff before it happens. But no, tonight he proved once and for all he's just getting ahead of himself. And you know when that backfires? When you're totally wrong. The Phils had Howard on first, and there was a grounder to Scutaro's right that he made a diving stop on. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm thinking, Okay, Howard's running, we've got a shot at the force at second. But Don? He's already announced that Scutaro "will not have a play." Even while he's making the play! Successfully! Don got to the word "play" AFTER the runner was called out at second. I went back and watched it and his excuse for thinking he had no play was just as poor--he said it looked like Scutaro was gonna go to first. Huh? The replay showed no indication of this. He knew where his only play was and immediately made it, and made Don look even worse by actually getting the guy out.

There were other PACs in the game, but he wasn't wrong on those. Still, it sounds bad. Once, the Red Sox pitched out when a runner was going. Don said the Red Sox "guessed right, but still...." implying the runner will be safe. Which is a fine call, IF you know the runner's already safe. But he said this while the ball was in the air. Had he been out, Don would have had to complete that sentence, and I'm wondering what he would have done.

Another one was when Youk took a close pitch with two strikes. Don said, "and Youkilis" in that way he does where he emphasizes the name because the guy has done something--in this case strike out--but he had to complete it with a casual "takes a ball." Okay, that was a subtle one, but the point is that Don's getting way ahead of himself and it's...well....what is it? It's unprofessional, but do I really care that much about that? He's not goofing up while trying to give aid to earthquake victims. But it's still his job. I think he's good at it. But he has a problem. "I'm Don O. and I say stuff before it happens and sometimes it turns out to not happen and it makes me look bad."

Wait a minute. Fucking 10:13? I wrote this whole post starting after the game ended and it's only 10:fucking:13? Fuckin' National League.

Jeter Filter

I hope this thing has a way of letting you read what I write about Jeter. (as seen on Joy of Sox)

Red Sox @ Phils, to-night.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Biggest Crowd Since WWII--That's Understandable

I meant to write about this last week, when Fenway Park had it's largest post-World War II crowd against the Padres. The media reported it by saying "it may be hard to believe, but...," and fans everywhere were baffled--in all those years, why was this game the one with the biggest attendance?

But what people seem to be missing is how Fenway's capacity has been growing. Therefore, with each new addition of seats, there's going to be a new record. Look at news articles from April 2007 after seats were added, or April 2008 after seats were added, or lots of other recent seasons, and you'll see that same stat: largest post-WWII crowd. Why that Padres game had the most since the most recent addition, I don't know, but the point is, it didn't have too much competition so it's not amazing at all.

(And the reason they say "post-WWII" is because before that (or at least through 1936) they let fans stand in the outfield--once that practice stopped, and when fire laws got more strict, the total possible number of people jammed into the park obviously went way down.)

Sunday, June 26, 2011


As in 6 Es in this game. We win 4-2. The key to me was when the 'rates went up 2-1, and should have had more. But we held 'em to the one and came back. We'll see if the Rox can come back and put us back in first. 5-4 Yanks in the 8th. (Update: Nope, we're a half back.)

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