Friday, November 01, 2013

If You're Going To Sam Clam's Disco

I can't go to the parade*, but if you're going, e-mail me (Two2067 at a o l) and I can get you inside Fenway at 8 a.m. for the pre-celebration. In return, you have to take photos and I will post some of them at this blog and give you credit. Thanks!

*It's not even because of work! I planned my whole October around the playoffs, and one of those things is tomorrow, in the safety of November, where I couldn't possibly miss anything baseball-related....except, as it turns out, the parade! Wish they'd done it today, I could have gone! Oh well, I went to '04 and '07 and I'm gonna try like hell to see the flag raised and the rings handed out next April.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween, Fellow World Champion Boston Red Sox Fans

(Me, circa...198...0?)

The "Suck It" Post

Okay, I have to start with this one. Suck it, Yankee fan troll who attempted to post the following comment here on September 13th:


no shot the RedSox win the WS. One of a few things will happen -

1.) Loss to Oakland
2.) Loss to Detroit
3.) Loss to Yankees (if they shockingly make it to face you)
4.) Loss to Dodgers

Enjoy being gay



Is that classic or what? Oh lawd I love it. Of course, for him to admit that basically we could go as far as the World Series in mid-September, as if it were something to be mocked, was already a victory. The fact that we actually went on to win it all just gold-ifies that comment. His consolation: He finally got a comment through! By the way, I'm enjoying being extremely gay today as a fan of the World Champion Boston Red Sox, thanks!

Next up, suck it, Jim Donaldson, for writing an article called, and I swear this is not a joke, Is Jose Lobaton the 21st Century Bucky Dent?. With no due respect, sir, you are fired.

Same theme, suck it, Tyler Kepner--see this Joy of Sox post.

Suck it, MLB, for forcing the nation radio call on all the WEEI affiliates for the World Series. Unless you lived in or right near Boston, you suddenly lost Castiglione just in time for the World Series. Vermont, Maine, Connecticut, western Mass., most of New Hampshire, and half of Rhode Island had the local feed all year, and through two rounds of the playoffs, and then boom, they're gone, even though they're still in the booth calling the games. I don't see the reason for that. Maybe someone can explain it to me. And don't just say "money," as people would be listening anyway. In fact, I feel like they'd only lose listeners by taking away the local announcers. But maybe I'm wrong. Either way it's a shitty thing to do to an entire region of loyal fans.

Suck it, anyone who was brainwashed by WEEI to hate your team. It makes no sense to me that this loyal fanbase who "believed" and "kept the faith" for 86 years without a championship could suddenly say, "well, they had a bad year, I think I just won't care anymore and/or hate them now, I just can't take ONE YEAR of sub-par baseball and I no longer trust the owners who just brought me two championships after 86 years without one." Yet Tom Caron keeps bringing this shit up, right up to last night after we'd won yet another World Series. I still think we're talking about just the loud minority, aka the five dipshits who keep calling the radio stations to complain over and over. But to those five, you are NOT allowed to go to the parade. Leave space for the real fans.

Suck it to the radio types who kept talking about whether Red Sox fans are "on board" or not, or whether the team is "back." They'll probably be on the air during the parade going "when we come back, we'll talk about whether you're on board for this parade." We're Red Sox fans, we're permanently on board. If we wanted to only be on board in good times, we'd be Yankee fans. We've had a lifetime to learn this lesson. And the Red Sox can never be "back" because they never go away.

Okay, this is kind of a half-suck it, but this stuff about 1918, Jesus! There were so many references to it last night, you'd think we hadn't won a World Series since 1918. We've been through that already! Yes, it's a cool bonus to win at home, but people act like there was this long wait and that the team had failed us for all these years, when the poor 2004 team is probably sitting at home going, Hello??? Some fans even brought signs to the game that just said "1918," without even specifying why. So bizarre. Fox was showing the usual "price of milk" shit! To me this is the same thing as saying, "and the Reds clinch their first pennant on a Tuesday since 1883! Amazing!" or some crap. Again, VERY happy to clinch at home, BUT, World Series wins are not divided into home and away clinches. They both count the same.

What A Year

WORLD CHAMPS! Did you ever think back in the random years of '89 or '74 or '52 or whenever that you'd one day be watching the Red Sox win the THIRD world championship of your life? In a span of ten years?

This team was so different than the other two. The others, despite all the other stuff that surrounded them, especially the '04 bunch, were supposed to be right there in October. This team was picked last, but just went about their bid'ness, never losing more than 3 in a row, always bouncing back no matter what. It was a smooth, steady ride. And even in the few times in the playoffs when bad things happened and all the dinosaur-type fans were sure it was the death of them, they forgot about it and moved on. Every single time. Right up to the last day, amidst talk of how they've got no plan for Game 7 and bla bla bla. These guys taught us how to expect your team will win. And that it was these guys is why that's so amazing. This is what the star-filled teams are supposed to do, only to not always have it work out. Not that there aren't stars on this team--Fox and TBS would say stuff like that forgetting that Papi and Pedroia and Ellsbury and Lester and Buchholz were on the team. And that stuff they say about a different hero every night--accurate in this case. Pedroia said it tonight after the game--people thought we just went and got players who were good guys, but the truth is, they could flat-out play ball. My JV team in high school all loved to drink booze and goof around on the bus and they were best of friends, but we sucked royal ass on the field, losing every game except one, to a team our coach referred to as the School for the Blind and Deaf. It's not chemistry, it's what you do with chemistry. And that's what you need when you're not an All-Star team.

Tonight it was Victorino with the big hit, after an expected full-throated a capella rendition of the lyric. Which seemed to ring truer and truer with each Victorino at bat over the last few months:

DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, Shaughnessey and WEEI callers and old-time fans who witnessed 2004 and 2007 but still think the world's gonna end every game....

EVERY LITTLE THING, every fake-ass controversy, every managerial decision, every instance of a guy doing poorly after three great weeks causing people to think he's suddenly a complete failure...

GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, because nobody does it like we do, not the preseason champion Blue Jays, not the decrepit Yankees, not the fearsome Rays and Tigers and Cardinals with their pitchers, who, granted, did a great job with our hitters, but we got it right when we needed it.

Lackey pitched winning baseball tonight. He was getting hit hard, but he did not break. And we all waited for the moment when he'd be pissed about having to come out. And when it happened, they were almost, kinda, maybe about to make it close, but our 'pen did their thing, and the party that started in the third inning was on again.

Before the third, there was tension, as the Cards got two on with nobody out in the second, and after Lackey busted out of that, we failed to score after getting our first two on in the bottom half. But after that, you had the feeling like we were gonna break through first. It was only a matter of time. (He says now.)

So we will have another rolling rally. So good, cubed.

I didn't get to a lot of games this year due to my work schedule, but I was okay with that since I'm doing work that helps people. "Doing what you love," and whatnot. But I followed this team from day one of spring training as I always do. And my mom got to go in my place for plenty of games, and boy did she see some amazing ones. Then in the postseason, I got to see a game in each round. The "My-ers" game, the Papi grand slam, and the first game of the World Series. All wins. I was lucky, and skilled!, to be a part of it.

On February 12th, my dad bet the Red Sox to win the World Series at 30-1 odds. At my wedding reception last month, he told us our present would be half of the loot. Which, in true gambling tradition, would itself then be gambled at a casino. So now we get to plan that trip. Nice little bonus.

And speaking of my wedding reception, how's this for awesomeness? I met my wife back when the Sox were reigning champs after the '04 series, we moved in together in '07, and we got married in '13.

Okay, back to the NESN locker room coverage. I'll write more later, you can bet on it.

Thank you Papi. And Pedroia. And Ellsbury. And Jonny Wadd. And Napoli. Lester. Buchholz. Freakin' Lackey! Even Drew hit a dong tonight. David Ross is the unsung MVP! To Papi's sung MVP. KOJI!!!!! The 'pen! Salty! Brooks Was Here! Every other guy down the line to Cherington and the owners and the scouts and Russell Nua and shit. THANK YOU ALL. Put ALL in something cappier than CAPS. Enjoy the cloud, Red Sox Nation. Parade Decade, 2004, 2007, 2013.

Okay I'll stop before this gets any more high-school-yearbook-y.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

All I Wanted Was A Pepsi

This whole "haven't won (at home) since 1918" thing is getting ridiculous. As if people could make fun of us for that if we don't win! That would be like winning the PowerBall jackpot and then having people talk about how you've never won the MegaMillions jackpot. Yeah it's technically true but fuck you.

I think I've become institutionalized to the ticketing system. I picture myself in November still trying to buy tickets, looking like Robert Stack at the end of Airplane!, still trying to talk Ted down long after the plane's safely on the ground. I got home from work just now, and went to the phone to make a call to Mrs. Thank-you-for-calling
-the-Boston-Red-Sox- 24-hour-automated-ticketing-system- where-MasterCard-is-our-preferred- method-of-payment. Please-be-advised- that-all-sales-are-final- no-refunds-or-exchanges-are-issued- and-all-game-times-are-subject-to-change...To-SO-lect.... McGee, but realized that even if they did for some reason put tickets on sale now, there'd be no way I'd even get to Fenway in time! I'm an institutional man.

Meanwhile, between the phone and the online system, these last few weeks have felt like a mix between Wall Street ("if you see anything under $300, buy!") and WarGames ("try 'number of tickets: zero!'"), as I've manically tried anything and everything to get tickets for Game 6 at a near constant rate. (I wouldn't be able to go to 7 so I had all my eggs in the 6-sket.) But now it's time to throw on the TV and do my rooting from the living room.

SOX. Cards. 7:30 or 8:07 depending on who you believe. Game 6. I was semi-right on the first-pitch thing, it'll be El Tiante throwing to Fisk.

See ya on the other side, Ray.

If It Stays Fair It's Gone

This article talks about World Series Game Sixes at Fenway Park. After talking about '75 and '67, they say

The only other Game 6 of any kind played at Fenway Park was back in 1918

Of course that's way, way, way off, as we played Game Sixes in the ALCS in 2007 and 1986.

Anyway, since this is the first World Series Game 6 since Fisk hit the pole, I am wondering if he will throw out the first ball tonight. Or maybe it'll be him and Carbo. Or maybe all the living members of that team. We shall see. Or does everyone already know?

All kinds of weirdness with the ticket office Tuesday. They were open, unlike Monday, but they were telling us that there were no tickets left. The online and auto-phone methods, which work in cryptic tandem, were showing their usual "one ticket category at any given time if at all," but never actually letting you buy. The sirens had me right where they wanted me between 2:56 and 3:09, thinking I was scoring bleacher seats, but it kept not working. Just after midnight they put up some grandstand, but alas it was another mirage. It's getting late....

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Two Shots At Home To Win It All!

We got the gem we wanted from Lester! Papi continues to hit like a man who was told he might not get to play for a couple of games! Koji is automatic! Exclamation points must be used as we are one win away form a world championship! It feels like a cloudy dream!

A few notes in the order I originally wrote them (which could lead to anti-climactic-ness):

On Papi's "infield hit," don't you think the Brow of Turin* should have done the spin-and-throw? It's almost like he figured he had more time with Papi running, so he stayed facing first, got into throwing position, and by then it was too late. BucCarver had no opinion on this one.

Actually, I'm gonna skip ahead. To Ross. When David Ross was on the verge of returning to the team after his DL stint, I made the prediction (not on here, in real life) that he'd "hit a key dong down the stretch." Problem was, we ran away with it and had hardly any key spots to hit dongs in. So now I'm thinking his "key dong" down the "stretch" has been his catching performances in Game 4 and 5 of this World Series. Or you could say his key dong was actually a half-dong, his double that gave us the lead for good in the 7th. Maybe that represents half the dong and the game-calling represents the other half. Yeah, let's go with that. I also love that he's MY beard guy--I have a bit of a Wolf too!

McCarver's keys to the game the last two nights: win the game. The guy is at George W. Bush level with his one-liners. At least Buck mocked him for his shitty keys tonight.

I wasn't quite sure about keeping Lester in when his spot came up with 2nd and 3rd and one out. I thought about it a lot in those few seconds, but I feel like I would have been fine with giving us two shots with real hitters to try and get both runners home for a 4-1 lead, and go with the 'pen for three innings. Lester failed on the bunt, and Ellsbury got one run home--I still can't believe Ross doesn't score on that, he's one slow mofo. So we got one of the runs home AND got to stick with Wicked Sid. I guess Farrell wins.

And how key was it that Rufus walks Drew-fus?! That's worse than walking the pitcher! That put Xanadu in sco-po for Ross, who brought him home with the go-ahead doobler.

Funny moment when Molina gave Papi a look after Papi held at first on a ball that got away briefly. It was a jovial look with a hint of "tsk tsk" for even bluffing. This is a guy who knows the guy on base is one of the great hitters, someone whose page he could never be on, BUT, he knows that when he's got the catching gear on and Papi's a baserunner, the tables are completely turned. There was a camaraderie in that look that former catcher McCarver totally missed.

I've listened to a lot of Henry Rollins spoken word. So I know that lisp anywhere. He already does the disclaimer for MLB on FOX, but know he's doing another World Series ad where he tries to "do a voice," but I know it's him. This isn't the first time he's delved into character voice-work, as he recently did the overdramatic commercial for The Spoils of Babylon. (The "by these guys" line is what gave him away.) And of course he just uses his normal voice on 90% of the commercials on TV.

When Some Cardinal doubled down the right field line, Buck made a bad call. We only saw the fielder, so we didn't know if the guy was going for two. It's Buck's job to tell us. Instead he says, "he's......" and by the time he told us, we saw the guy sliding into second safely. I then realized he was doing his classic gun-jump that Orsillo loves to do to. But we had no idea the guy was even trying for two until he was almost at the bag.

Slight sound delay between cameras. But not nearly as bothersome as it was in 2004. Man, they were really effing with me that year.

Funny how Fox started cutting to Sox players' faces in the 9th. I guess funny because it gave away the fact that they were going to be using the iso-cam effect to get individual players' reactions once we win it.

Wow, even more anti-climactic than I thought. Game 6 Wednesday! At Fenway! Oh, and what was with the ticket office today? Got a message all day long saying they were closed. Automated line and online had some categories of tix up, but I never broke through, not even on a test for the really expensive ones. Any time I'd select tix, it would say they weren't actually available. Oh well, I'll keep trying tonight and tomorrow. And Wednesday.

Monday, October 28, 2013

One Step Beyonnnnnd

Red Sox win awesomely!

Holy shit, people.

Rosenthal to Papi: "Are you locked in?" No, he didn't even know there was a game going on, what the fuck do you think??

I was sitting there orchestrating this one. This is why I needed to be in my comfort zone the night before instead of listening on the radio and leering at a TV through the window of a Mexican restaurant! Jesus! (Tonight, still without cable, I came down to CT to watch with my mom and Charlie.) Anyway, I had this thing nailed: Right from the first inning, I was saying that Ross and Buchholz were painting a secret masterpiece using the Patented Pedro method, knowing you don't have a fastball to work with, so you use your other pitches, keep the ball down, hit the corners, and you're fine. The one fastball he threw early, even though it was still down, was launched for a double. From then on he continued to stay away, and gave up NO earned runs, the only one coming partly because that outfield is shit. You could see the squares of new sod from the blimp shot. Still, Jacoby's gotta look it in.

So by the time HH comes out, which was only because they needed to pinch hit for him with runners on, we're tied at 1. Clay gave us what we needed. I fuckin' love that little garden gnome. I even think he might be up for some late action in Game 7, if there is one.

The next thing I nailed and take full credit for, is after Papi doubled, which led to our first run, in the 5th, I said, "now he needs to go back to the dugout and tell everybody else how to hit this guy." And wouldn't ya know, they actually show a shot of him in the dugout, with the whole offense gathered 'round, firing them up. Granted, it's not like they started knocking the ball around, but they worked a two-out rally, and then Jonny Wadd Gomes comes up and, after they bring in Madness despite the first guy having had no trouble with him, BOOM MOTHER MOFO FUCKERS, a three-run magical mystery dong to left, and it's pande-mayhem throughout R-Sox Naysh. 4-1 lead.

Then Farrell got a little weird, and despite the Cards scoring in the 7th and having the tying run up in the 8th and 9th, our pitchers take us all the way home for a 4-2 win. Fine job by Lackey and Koji in those last two frames. As we began sweating out a Beltran at bat with two outs in the 9th, up 1 with a man on first, Fox started showing those dramatic fan shots. While we, the audience for the World Series hoping to see...the actual World Series sits helplessly staring at some blonde in the crowd with the prerequisite hands near face or in praying position, suddenly Joe Buck's voice goes up. What the hell is happening, we wonder, as they finally cut to a shot of Napoli just finishing a tag on the runner, and that's it. It's over. I'm way too happy to be pissed that they MISSED THE LAST PLAY OF A WORLD SERIES GAME, with the tying run up.

Fox also missed a chance to note that the man on deck at the time of the game-ending pickoff was Holliday, who himself got picked off by Papelbon in a key spot in the 2007 World Series.

Now we've got the Game 1 rematch in Game 5. Lester is chomping at the bit rate right now. We're already on pace for the "win one at home, one on the road, then take your chances with the last two at home" thing. But a repeat of Game 1 would be huge, as we'd come home UP 3-2. DO IT! What a team!

Classic Fox (And All Other Networks)

Before I get to my celebratory extensive post about tonight's game, I'd just like to say, CLASSIC Fox, missing the last play of the game because they were showing a very crucial thing: a random fan with her hands near her face. But hey, it was just a meaningless pickoff throw....

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Great Moments In Technical Snafu History

October 2004: My blog "disappears" during the ALCS. I'm unable to post anything and viewers are treated to a blank screen during one of the most important stretches of baseball in Red Sox history.

October 2008: TBS goes dark at the beginning of Game 6 of the ALCS between the Red Sox and Rays.

October 2013: On the day of Game 3 of the World Series, after hearing the first few innings in the car since I worked till 8:00, I get home to discover the TV isn't working. No Internet or phone either. After a half hour on the phone with Verizon, and being told they need to send a technician but not until MONDAY, I finally have to just listen on radio--and stupid MLB has decided that the affiliates of WEEI get the national feed. All of New England outside of Boston is Castiglione free for the World Series.

Why do these things always happen during the baseball playoffs????

I really needed to have the normal home-viewing experience for that game last night. That goddamn game. So much to say about it, but you've heard it all ad nauseating by now. I've got the whole off-season to talk about this stuff, I'll get to it. Just be assured I'm as pissed as you about everything you're pissed about. We need to score early and often tonight and make everybody forget about last night, then get another gloria gem-a from Lester and take this thing back to Boston. Hopefully I have fucking cable by then. (And after that, well, after the current Boardwalk Empire season ends, I cancel Verizon and never, ever, ever deal with them again.)(Bonus: the woman I spoke to on the phone said to call today to see if any other people canceled, and maybe I could get a technician over today. When I called today as instructed, the guy I got said that's only happened once in all the years he's worked there, and it was during Hurricane Sandy. Classic Verizon.)

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