Saturday, March 17, 2007

The New Precipitation

What is this stuff falling from the sky this year? I felt like I was walking around in a giant Slurpee last night. In the only other significant storm this winter, it froze over, and was called the "worst ice storm in twenty years." I think they only said that to cover their asses, since they clearly had no plan for getting rid of the stuff. And last night, we got ice needles slamming us in the face, and turning into a five-inch slush layer on the ground. While walking around (Chan and I watched some Smarch Smadness at a few different places with our friend Mike last night), we found that every corner was a soupy puddle. You had the choice of walking in the existing footprints--which had already filled with water--and soaking your socks, or make your own new prints, and get a pantleg full of snow. Oh, and as a wacky bonus, the city also didn't do much about the snow on the roads or sidewalks...

The sun is out today, but the car I'm currently borrowing [below; Yes, I miraculously got a spot right out front--both these shots are from out our front window. Note the grime on the glass.] is buried to its ankles. Fortunately, I don't have to move it for a while, so a lot of this stuff should melt away without me having to do anything.

The greatest moment of this mostly upset-free tourney was this: Chan, Mike and I each put a dollar into the "guess how many points Florida wins by" pool, when the Gators were up by 30 with a few minutes left in their game. Mike and I make fun of Chan, who is a Florida graduate, for his football team's tradition of running up the score, especially in the Steve Spurrier era. So, Chan predicts they win by 40, while Mike and I go much lower. Sure enough, the Gators score the next ten points, giving them a 109-69 lead. Note: A different game was being shown, we were just watching the Florida score on the tiny scoreboard at the top of the screen. We're all watching the final seconds tick away, and at about two seconds, the score changes. A final shot by the poor Jackson State squad, to make it a little less humiliating? Nope. It was Florida who scored at the buzzer--with a three-pointer! Come on, Chan! Terrible job! Did Spurrier come out of the stands to show the coach how it's done? Well, we got the last laugh as the shot cost Chan the money, ruining his 40-point win prediction. Sometimes you have to make your own excitement in these things.

Friday, March 16, 2007

E-Schilling Stuff

Some stuff about Schilling's blog. His latest post is about the whole contract situation. Check it out. It's so cool to hear regular updates on a key player from the man himself.

Here's a comment on that post, from someone who was ripping Curt:

Your unbeleivably blessed to play baseball. Your play on the field speaks for itself, your not bigger than the game.

The "your" monster strikes again. You can always tell a stupid person--and in many cases, a Yankee fan, because while not all Yankee fans are stupid, almost all stupid people are Yankee fans--by their complete lack of understanding of the fact that "your" and "you're" have different meanings. I'll cut this guy some slack on the "i before e" rule, though. That's a nearly impossible poem to remember. I mean, there are, like, four lines to remember!

Now, some more of Schill answering your questions:

Q-How did I become a Christian?

A-Real simple one there. In 1997, in the midst of my first real big year, I was driving home from the park and wondering just what in the hell this was all for. What was I living my life for? Who was I living my life for? I had two children and no idea what the whole goal and purpose was for anything in life? I was making stupid money, my marriage is awesome, I have two lovely wonderful healthy kids, but at the end of the day who was I living my life for? When I figured it out, or thought I had, I gave my life to Christ and have never looked back.

Uh, what? The wife and the kids weren't doin' it for you? I'm confused. "Good night, kids, daddy loves you--but know that this just isn't enough for me..." That makes no sense to me. This Jesus guy sounds mighty persuasive...

Q-Why associate with the Republican Party? Blah blah blah.

A-The question that could open Pandora’s box. Bottom line is I don’t associate myself with either party. I don’t vote on party lines and never will. I vote for the thanks, ambrosiasw.comcandidate I feel is the best person for the job. Was President Bush flawless? Nope. Has anyone ever been? Nope. Having said that I won’t add to the crap that’s out there, and disparage the ultimate sacrifice made by thousands of men and woman over the last 4 years, too many other second guessers doing that already. The amazing thing to me is the fact that only about 50-60% of this country that can vote, does. It seems we have been locked into voting for the candidate we least dislike in local elections rather than the person that we know is going to do a great job.

I'm really glad he said this. I like that he says he votes for the best person, not strictly the Republican. But what gets me, naturally, is the line about "disparaging" what the troops are doing. Do you want them to die or live? If you want them to live, think about whether it's absolutely necessary for them to risk their lives in each individual situation. In this one, it's not necessary at all. No one's trying to disparage anything by saying "end this damn war."

It's The Hair, Stupid

Everybody's favorite coke-sniffin', hair-colorin', Elaine datin', MVP-sharin' ex-Met Keith Hernandez was on fire last night. He just couldn't get over Manny Ramirez' "weight loss." I got to watch Red Sox vs. Mets on SNY last night, and Keef, currently a Mets announcer, got one look at Manny and said, "Wow, Manny's really slimmed down." This was in the first inning, while Manny was on deck. He came up to hit and Keith was back at it, completely baffled and astonished, talking about the "new" Manny. A few minutes later, he said, "not to belabor a point..." and went on about it again. Then when they were talking about the Red Sox defense, someone in the truck who doesn't know anything about baseball made the call to cut to a shot of Manny in left field. So as the announcers talked about the "headaches" (?) Manny causes, Hernandez said, "For those who don't recognize him, that's Manny Ramirez..."

Okay. Keith. Listen up. Last season, Manny wore his dreads out. Big, fat, wide, long dreadlocks. He now has them up in a baggie under his hat or helmet. This is what you're seeing. Yes, he looks differrent. But it wasn't a miracle diet. It's just that the entire top portion of his person is much narrower because his neck and shoulders aren't surrounded by a mass of Predator-like tentacles. Think about it, do you remember Manny being a fat guy?

Oh, and they even made a "Manny being half of Manny" joke. God damn that's hilarious.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

But He Ain't No Bowie Kuhn

Amazingly, the answer to the latest quiz--Bowie Kuhn--died before anyone got the answer. (After the news broke, three people guessed it, since we already knew the answer was a baseball commissioner.) I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. Having had Kuhn in my head these last few days, as people were trying to guess the answer.

Of course, when I heard he died, I couldn't say anything here, as not to give away the quiz answer. That's the first time a quiz answer died mid-quiz here. I'll be very careful in selecting the next quiz...

So, about the quiz answer: The correct ending to the song lyric was Bowie Kuhn, of course, making it "...but he ain't no Bowie Kuhn." Does anyone remember this song? It must have come out right after Kuhn stopped being commish, in the mid-80s. It was, like, a folk-ish, comedy tune. I can't find proof of this anywhere. But I absolutely couldn't have made this one up.... Anybody?

ARSFIPT, Live From The Front Lines

Here's my report from Iraq. It's rough. Constant gunfire, the threat of bombs going off everywhere you go. I can see buildings on fire and dead bodies. It's horrid. Ooh, there's a CNN reporter. He looks haggard.

Editor's note: Information gathered by watching the war on television.

Wow, looks hazardous. I think I'll go get a Push Pop from the freezer in my kitchen.

Loner Ticket Alert

They just put out a bunch of single seats for that first homestand (except for the coveted Opening and Patriots' Days). RF box and IF grandstand--non-obstructed. I got a good one in the first row of the grandstand right by third base for that Thursday afternoon game. (Which I already had really crappy upper bleacher seats for, but, come on, who was gonna go to that one with me anyway? Now I have a good view, and I can give the others to two Sox fans who don't get a chance to go too many games. You know, instead of being a dick and selling the 12 dollar tickets for $60 each to some slimebuckets who'll then resell them for 100 each AND add on a 20 dollar "service fee." Try doing good--it's totally extreme and myspacey!)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I Couldn't Tell Ya..Too Much Static

I noticed on one of s. silva's (aka the man behind bostondirtdogs) Extra Bases updates, he said "we listened to the game on the Twins radio network," and then proceeded to give us some highlights. Weird, I thought, as the game was in Ft. Myers. The Globe can't send their "reporters" across town? Okay, maybe he just meant they listened to the play-by-play while actually being at the game. That would make more sense--they wouldn't have someone report on a game they weren't at...

But they would. And they did it again today. Again, it was a Silva report, and this time it read

Editor's note: Information gathered by listening to the game on the radio.

Are they serious? Wouldn't this be the perfect ending to the entire pathetic dirtdogs reign of terror? Maybe they're afraid to fire him, so they're just pulling an Office Space on him, figuring if they just stop sending him to games (and giving him paychecks), the problem will solve itself.

Again, let me just write this out one more time so I can re-read it to make sure it's actually real:

The Boston Globe has employees reporting on games when they weren't there, or even watching on TV, but listening to the game on the radio.

Jere For Sale Again

Buy now!

Wow, I hadn't thought to look up my old band on eBay in a really long time. Today I checked, and there's the 7-inch. This person (in Maryland...hmmm) really went all out trying to sell the record. I forgot about the sweet yellow label we did! You can see me, second from left, with mohawk, and looking like a dwarf! I swear I'm not that short.

You can also see the inside of the sleeve, on which we had pics of us and some show fliers. Check out my Danny Cooksey* flier on the top right.

*Sam from Diff'rent Strokes.


Just to add one more thing to what I was saying earlier: Why is quoting someone okay, while showing a short piece of someone's visual work (vid-e-quoting) isn't?

Of course, if you use all your own material, you can get away with anything. This is what I need to focus on. (But still, come on, isn't using other people's stuff and improving on it, while giving it proper credit, the basis of all human life?) Speaking of that, today, a dude from told me that they've got an Andrew W.K. interview on there. (In a crazy twist of fate, I recognized the guy's name--we played Little League together!) One of their shows is called Soft Focus. On that page, check the list at the right for the W.K. interview, as well as one for Ian MacKaye, Henry Rollins, and Chan Marshall, who doesn't pronounce it like our Chan does. Also, Chan's not his first name. And he's male.

Red Sox lost 1-0 today. I like seeing that 1. That's the key.

The picture below? Just messin' around.

About The Sarah Silverman Program: Gets the JSA (Jere Stamp of Approval). I don't usually have faith in these Comedy Central shows, but this one works. I mean, if you like Silverman, and you haven't tried this show yet, you've got nothing to worry about. The other characters are all really funny, too. Also, there are Homestar posters in the background of some scenes...

Did you know they show Twilight Zone episodes every night at 1:00 and 1:30 on SciFi Channel? Tonight the 1 AM one is "To Serve Man." In other words, I gotta go.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Isn't this article the same as this one?

Sue Ellen Mischke

Viacom sues GooTube. For a billion bucks.

As I mentioned in my own comments section, a few weeks ago, my (original) GooTube account got taken down. At least a week later, I got a letter from them, apologizing for the delay in contacting me, but that Viacom cited copyright infringement, and since I'd had videos pulled before (lie; I'd had one other one pulled), they had to cancel my account, without warning, and without giving me any access to it even privately. I asked them about their policies, but they didn't give me clear answers.

Now we know what happened. Viacom basically looked on GooTube and said, Oh my god, little 3 minute clips of shows we never plan on using again are being seen instead of locked in a vault forever! We must sue!

I will admit, while I'm not profiting off of anything I show on GooTube that I don't hold the copyright for, GooTube is, because they make money on advertising. So of course it's good that Viacom sued them as opposed to every single person who uploaded their stuff, but still, come on. Why does Viacom think they're this righteous company, acting like they've done nothing wrong? Screw all these companies. I hope they all bankrupt each other.

What I need is a place to put videos where they can just be on my site, and no one needs to know about them except for me and my readers. And if somebody sees I use something of theirs, that they were never going to use anyway, that is clearly done in tribute, credited to them, for no profit, which essentially gives them free advertising, they can, you know, realize this is the case, and just let it be. We need an overhaul of all these laws.

"Red Sox Beat Yankees"--Fun To Say Any Time Of Year

We lead 7-4in the eighth, on this, the classiest tape delay in the history of sport. It's 1:00 AM, so I'm gonna head over to Joy of Sox to see how this one turned out. Here I go...

Actually, as I was writing that, they get a double. So I'm still watching. And now the tying run is up. Why do I care about the outcome? It's spring training. I'll use this time to make fun of the Yanks. No Kay tonight. God forbid Yes puts their A-team out there (or show the game live!) for the only game of the spring that anybody cares about. I also came up with another curse source tonight. Yes is celebrating their 5th anniversary. So, I call it the "Yes, We Have No Championships" curse. And we get out of the eighth. 7-5 us. Now I'll check the final...

And Joy Boy says we got the win. (And calls Papi the classic "Flo" nickname.) Looks like Hansen gets the save. But I'm going to bed.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Rise Of Pratt/Fall Of Bubba

Todd Pratt will start at catcher for the Yanks against us tonight. I saw this guy play for the New Britain Red Sox in, like, 1988. I can't believe he's lasted this long. (Actually, I couldn't believe it was the same Todd Pratt when he hit that key homer for the Mets, and then effed up that grand slam, in the '99 playoffs. Or when he hit that homer against us in a game I attended at the old Veteran's Stadium in '03.)

Oh, and now that Bubba Mania is officially (ha) over (Bubba Crosby is on the Reds now), I thought I'd bring this up. In April 2004, Bubba hit two homers in as many days, leading Yankee-folk to think they had the next Mickey Mantle on their hands. (I thought differently.) Since those home runs, Bubba has played in 192 games. You know how many homers he's hit since? Two.

Is the game on at 7:05 or 8 tonight? The Yes announcer just said it's some other show, followed by Nets pre-game, followed by the "first pitch" of Sox-Yanks at 8. The preview channel shows Nets pre-game followed by the Nets game. shows a 7:05 start. Is this game on tape delay? In fact, I saw the end of the Mets game today, and I swear they skipped an inning! What's going on with the TV coverage this spring?

TERRIBLE JOB UPDATE: Yes to show game on tape delay at 11:00 PM. Schedule at says "@BOS, 7:05,, YES". Couldn't they have said, Oh, by the way, it won't actually on til 11! I coulda gone to that Andrew WK thing! Stupid Yanks screw everybody over again. This is BS. The first Red Sox-Yankees game. Five months of waiting. The only game of the spring with any significance at all. And it's not on. Until 11. TERRIBLE JOB. I guess I'll see y'all much later tonight, as I can't really go to any sites, because I don't want to give anything away. This is stupid.

You Can Leave Them All Behind

Looks like that Nick DeBarr thing didn't work out.

CC DeVille

You may know I am a fan of Andrew W.K. In fact, he's the official party-anthem-singin', dirty clothes-wearin', bleed-on-commandin' artist of ARSFIPT. Well, Chan noticed this NYT article about WK. He's apparently discovered the joys of blowing your own mind by using it, to, like, think and stuff. He'll be doing what he calls the "Joy Trilogy" here in NYC at The P.I.T.

This dude is nuts! But we knew this. Either way, I'm not letting you people stop me any longer...I'm going to clown college!

I may go to episode two or three of this trilogy. We'll see. Might be weird. I've only seen AWK once, and it was at the is weird Xmas show at BB King's, which has become the home of old bands reuniting. (I think I saw PE is playing there! And Overkill played there! You just sit around with a bunch of oldies eating dinner and reliving your youth. I guess.) Anyway, WK had really short hair and sunglasses and did a very non-metal song, at about half the intensity level of his full band shows. I'd like to see this guy actually rock in person, but I seem to keep catching his oddball antics instead. But that's cool.

'06-'07 Quiz XVII

What baseball name finishes this song lyric: "But he ain't no _______"

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Actual Baseball

I got to watch Fuzzy Dice today while in the lovely metro-New Haven area, despite the schedule on showing that the game wouldn't be on NESN. I guess when the Monster pitches, they show the game. Maybe they could hire some homeless person to type in the four letters on the web page, you know, to let us know.

'suke looked great at first. If that's who we see in the regular season, we're in for a treat. (And he's still not putting everything on his fastball.) Then, announcer boy decided to go on a soliloquoy about how the Orioles have no power, which of course led to an immediate home run off of Dicey. Later, with a man on first, there was a grounder back to him. If you've been watching baseball for any period of time, you know this often results in a poor throw to second, and this time it did. That drastically changed the inning, and another dong later, he'd given up four runs.

So I got to see the good and the bad from him. I have noticed that when he finishes his windup, he doesn't seem to end up in fielding position. (In fact, he doesn't realy follow through all the way, either.) So on one grounder back to him, he couldn't get down to get it from his upright, stiff position. It resulted in a hit, as he got a glove on it but couldn't knock it down. And then on the ball he did snag, he ended up throwing it away. He was also reminded in mid-at bat by Tek to close up his front shoulder, which is something I've heard he'll sometimes forget to do. What's the deal with that? The guy's been pitching eight years at the professional level. Maybe he should jot that reminder down on his wrist or something.

Manny looked great at the plate today. He also looks like a construction worker, as he's got his dreads pulled up into one of those...dread-holdin' thingies...underneath his helmet.

Coco grew new hair, but has the same arm:(

I also got to see Adam Stern play for the O's, though Millar wasn't with the club.

We were wearing the home whites, with normal hats today, while the Orioles' orange half-moon gussets were a hot topic of conversation, with low-talker Jack Hank aka John Henry saying he didn't like them, and Remy concurring. I still don't get how if it's forced on the teams, why they can't just choose to wear their normal hats/unis, like the Red Sox were clearly doing today. Maybe there's a quota or something.

Kapstein and Drinkwater were both in their behind-the-plate positions, despite the games not counting.

Overall, it was just good to see the Red Sox on TV for the first time in months, and I think we'll all be impressed by Dice once the season starts. Tomorrow I get to watch on Hell No as we do battle with Dunbar.

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