Saturday, December 11, 2010

Yard Sale BS

I love the Fenway Yard Sale. It's for Xmas @ Fenway winners, which I've never won, but they always let losers come the next day to root through the leftover stuff.

This year, all of a sudden, the "Red Sox Insider" is tweeting repeatedly that the yard sale is going on and is "first come, first serve." But he's not specifying if it's for Xmas winners or for everyone. I'm not going to drive an hour to Boston to be told I can't get in. But now I feel like I'm gonna miss it. It ends at 5:00. I look forward to this every year, and they're fucking around. Nothing anywhere--not even on the official notices about the Xmas events--says that the Yard Sale is anything but for winners. Last year I got an e-mail on the Sunday telling me I was allowed to come to it. This year, no e-mail reponse about my Xmas entry at all, no e-mail from the Insider's newsletter, of which I'm signed up for, but then the Insider goes and tweets that it's on right now with no further instructions.

If it turns out today was the only day, and I could have gone, I will be very pissed.

[Update, 3:48: RedSoxDiehard just told me the Yard Sale IS for anyone. Ends at 5. I can't get there now, it's too late. Those fucking assholes. They have a web site. They opted to NOT TELL ANYONE on it. She said they just put it on fucking fuckbook. And then there were the completely non-specific tweets. TERRIBLE JOB, Red Sox organization. The official statement clearly stated that the Yard Sale was something the winners of Xmas @ Fenway could go to. They DID NOT say anyone could go. Facebook has sapped the creativity from a nation, and not only that, corporations with REAL websites treat it like it's the only way they can communicate. I'm moving to Mars.]


Finally got through and got some $12 games. Could have had the opening day pack but I can't be spending all this crazy money on top of what I'm spending for my 10-game plan to get opening day plus three more games, especially considering I'm not a big opening day guy--I've already got another game in the opening series anyway.

The weird thing with this new VWR is that it seems to go by ISP instead of window-by-window/tab-by-tab. Because once I got through, I got through on all my windows at once. And since they play Tessie each time you get through, it created a staggered, deranged concerto of Tessies. I wish I'd recorded that collage of sounds. So this could mean it's no different opening one window than it is opening hundreds. If that's the case, we'll have to get crackin' on some crackin'.

I was able to view the source of the VWR page--was cool to see some of the notes in there, listed as "Alan's quick mod." None of it helped me get through any faster, though.

In the meantime, what happened to my Firefox? I ended up force quitting the "updater" that was trying to open, and now I can't open Firefox at all.

Leapin' Larry

While in the new and, so far, crappy VWR, I'm watching the Carl Crawford press conference. Carl has lost his voice. I can't help but think of the time when Seinfeld's leg fell asleep, making it appear as if he's mocking Leapin Larry's limp. Because of that guy! The guy with the scratchy voice at Fenway press conferences! And he actually asked a question, at which point Carl answered it in the same voice! Good this be a practical joke on that guy? Maybe all the media people have been trying to get a new player to do a whole presser in a scratchy voice, and they finally got someone to do it!

Anyway.....this VWR is weird. Telling me I'm really far from the front of the line. It's supposed to notify me audibly when I break through. We'll see....

Oh Wow

They really did change everything up. The Virtual Waiting Room is new and improved, with "a number of fan-requested enhancements." I'd completely solved the old system, but hey, it's been a while and I'm up for a new challenge. And like I said, I'm not looking for too many April/May/Sept tickets so today will be a good practice run for the big sale of summer games.

I will post any updates here.

The Ts Are Up

Tickets are ready to be boughtened. 10 AM tomorrow. We've got a slight change, as the Ts on the sked link to another schedule page instead of that day's specific ticket-buying page, but that could just be for now. In the past, though, you could open your windows the night before and just reload in the morning. You can do that with the Sox Pax though. I don't even know if I'm gonna buy a lot of tickets tomorrow, but it's always good practice.

I did not get into Xmas @ Fenway. But for the first time ever, I didn't even get a losing e-mail. Just nothing.

Things to remember: Lately they've been putting September games on sale later on the first day. So keep checking back tomorrow afternoon after you've bought your April/May/Sox Pax stuff to see if they've put Sept. games on sale. I'd almost go so far as to say I guarantee they'll do that again this year.

The Yard Sale also has been accessible to non-Xmas winners. On Sunday they will probably open it up to anybody who entered. (Or maybe just a lucky group of select non-winners.) So watch your e-mail Sunday and be prepared to get to Fenway.

The Crawford press conference will be happening at Fenway tomorrow, too. Ian Browne's article about the P.C. doesn't even mention that Xmas @ Fenway will be going on right there, at the same time! I gotta figure the front office types and maybe Crawford himself will be on hand for X@F--but not till 11:00 or later since they have work to do.

Good luck Saturday morning, everybody. Feel free to comment with your tickets wins/losses, and definitely let me know how X@F was if you were lucky enough to be there. And Remember to leave Coke and cookies out for the Ticket Fairy tonight.

Friday, December 10, 2010

The BP Logo Spill

Here's one where I make fun of the use of other teams' outdated logos!

The folks at Baseball Prospectus, who I'm pretty sure like to "get stuff right," are not alone in using the old Red Sox logo a full two years after it was killed, as we know. But they're also using an old Orioles logo, which also hasn't been in use since 2008.

Over in the AL Central, they didn't update the Twins' logo, which was changed for the 2010 season (blue border around ball and "baseball club" added).

The Nationals have also dumped a logo, which BP still has up, but, in fairness, the new one has just come into use for the 2011 season.

Please note, yes, I'm taking into consideration alternate logos--the ones I've mentioned above that BP still use are defunct logos. I wouldn't care if they were using alternate or hat logos as the logo for a team.

So to sum up, BP's Logo Currency Factor (LCF) is .867. The LCF+, which accounts for logos not in play until the upcoming season, would be a .900. Let's get those numbers up to 1.000, people. This worldwide logo non-updating epidemic must be stopped!

On a side note, it looks like the Padres will also have a new logo soon, as they seem to have gone away from everything but the SD logo that's on their hat. I wonder if the "Silver Surfer" look--which was predicted by my friend Pat well before they adopted it--has had it.

And don't forget to ask me anything. Still waiting for that elusive first question.

Thursday, December 09, 2010


All times of games for 2011 are still TBA, but interestingly, the Red Sox have listed "Day" or "Night" below all weekday home games. So now we at least know when they'll do getaway day games. I'll make it even easier for you--here's the list of weekday afternoon games at Fenway in 2011:

Monday, 4/18 vs Toronto (morning game for Patriots Day)
Thursday, 5/5 vs Angels (getaway day for the Angels)
Wednesday, 6/1 vs White Sox (both teams have next day off anyway)
Wednesday, 6/22 vs SD (both teams have next day off anyway)
Monday, 7/4 vs Toronto (battle of the countries on USA's Independence Day)
Thursday, 7/28 vs KC (getaway day for both, though neither going that far)
Wednesday, 8/17 vs TB (getaway day for us)
Wednesday, 9/14 vs Toronto (mid-series daytime fun!)

Seems like these aren't really for getaway purposes, more like Larry giving us more weekday afternoon games because of that one year when we "asked for them." So that's cool. With Saturday's and sometimes Sunday's games being night these days, we need to get back the sunshine games where we can.

Some teams have times up on their skeds. Here are the road weekday afternoon games that are currently listed. (All of this crap is SUBJ to CHAN.)

Wed 4/20 @ Oak
Thur 5/26 @ Det
Thur 6/30 @ Phil
Wed 7/20 @ Bal
Mon 9/5 @ Tor

Ask Me Stuff. Or Ask David Ortiz Stuff.

1. I have a page on VYou where you can ask me anything and I will give you a video answer. It looks like they have a cooperation with the MLB Players Association--David Ortiz and Brian Beard Wilson have pages too.

2. Kim got a nice lil' write-up (page 2 of article) in the Providence Phoenix. They also mentioned me--and I'd like to point out that we do NOT live in Cranston, we live in Providence. There was a miscommunication there I guess. (But Jere, didn't you live in Somerville but SAY you lived in "Boston" the whole time? Good point. You don't have to believe me. But I'm telling you, we don't live in Cranston.) Anyway, here's the part where I tell you that Kim's soaps make "great holiday gifts." Stella Marie Soap Dot Com. The only soap made by A Red Sox Fan From Pinstripe Territory's girlfriend. And stuff.


Been trying to come up with lineups. Crawford could go leadoff, could go third, and MLB just projected him as our #2 hitter. But instead of doing the modern version of that thing where you keep ripping pages out of the typewriter, crumpling them up, and errantly tossing them at an exaggeratedly overflowing trash can (which had been emptied very recently before this exercise, leading its contents to consist entirely of these wads of paper), I'm just gonna go to bed with a big smile on my face.

Things I Like About Carl Crawford

The guy doesn't seem to be slowing down. Has always averaged 50 SB a year and still has over the last few. His best OBP season was 2009 and his best SLG year was 2010. His best DONG and RBI year was last year, too. And of course there's that whole Nebraska football connection. He could have been my team's QB but chose baseball instead--now, finally he'll be on my team, wearing a regulation cap instead of a facemasked helmet.

So does Ellsbury drop down again? I guess he has to. He might even fit into that "just tell Knoblauch that #9 is a 'second leadoff'" role. I guess Cameron's the fourth OF. Too bad Beltre can't be a fifth IF...

Update: I've been watching the live coverage on NESN with all the Crawford talk, the years, the dollars, the chopping of eggs and onions and ... what? That's not original content, that's paid programming! Red Sox, apparently we've got some serious cash--put some damn shows on the channel you own! I don't care if it's the Mother's Day Miracle every night from midnight to 6, give us something! (But replace Denis and Callahan with paid programming.)

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Carl Crawford To The Red Sox. So They Say.

Earlier today on the FAN, I heard Sweeney Murti say that the Red Sox felt like they had a great chance at getting Carl Crawford. Shortly after, I heard that the Angels would "eventually" get Crawford.

Well now I'm hearing the Red Sox are getting him and that a physical will be happening soon, etc., etc.

This sounds real, but then again, a lot of stuff does until five minutes later when you find out it was a load of crap. But, uh...again, this sounds like actuality. With or without Carl, I'm psyched to kick some Yankee ass in '11.

Watch Zack Hample Dissect A Baseball

Pretty cool. Of course, the thing I always think about is how a cow is used in this process. You can see all those non-animal innards that are key to the ball. So when putting the final cover on, why not use, I don't know, anything else? Instead we've got men Michael Vicking the hell out of an animal hide with a stick and nobody seems to mind. Oh right, it's already dead--well how do you think it died, natural causes? Get with the 90s, or whatever the current decade is, MLB.

Then I think, Wait, what if they really did go around finding cows who died of natural causes and then taking their skin to use for baseballs? I wouldn't be offended by that--BUT, in that case, they should do it with human hide, too. I'd donate my skin for that! There could be a little baseball symbol on my license. Hopefully by then the people sewing my nutsack together with somebody else's boob-skin will be paid more than two cents a day--another current travesty surrounding the baseball.

Hey, imagine if you had an arm amputated, and then donated it to MLB, and that arm had a very distinctive birthmark. And then you were at a game, and you caught a foul ball, and on it was the birthmark! And you caught it with your new, prosthetic arm!


Got one of the year's major award envelopes yesterday, the one that tells me which 10 games I'll get in my 10th Human Plan. Three Orioles games??? Come on. Anyway, it's funny, I don't really need the plan anymore since I can get Yanks, playoffs, any tickets I want just by paying attention and buying them from the team, always face value. But it's good to keep the connection going, be an official--albeit on the lowest rung--season ticket holder. This will be Year VIII for me with the 10-gamer, as I was a charter member in '04, paying a mere 18 bucks a ticket then, now up to 28.

Am hearing Francessa talking about the Mets basically handing Beltran over to us. They might as well. He's one of those dudes that's either gonna continue to stagnate where he is, or thrice somewhere else. We've been there....

Tuesday, December 07, 2010


Six episodes of my inTVernet show, RANDOMONIUM, are in the can. I've arranged them below for your viewing pleasure, later, when you get out of work. Episode 7 is gonna be sweet. Stay Al Toon'd.

Episode 6. (Skip to 11:35 to see the #1 Halloween costume) (Celebrity guest: Bettysioux Tailor)
Episode 5. (Celebrity guest: Jon Campbell)
Episode 4. (Celebrity guest: D of The Regulars)
Episode 3. (Celebrity guest: Bill "Spaceman" Lee)
Episode 2. (Celebrity guest: [half of] The Pist)
Special Episode. From FooFest.
Episode 1. (Celebrity guest: Andrew W.K.)

Monday, December 06, 2010


Went to NYC on Thurs-Sat to visit Chan and do some Eckersleysmas shopping. Above, "the tree," with the GE building rising high above.

Looking through one of the restaurants at the skaters at the Rock Center rink.

This was the exact moment I got into the Choliday spirit (it's hard when there's no snow in sight). I also realized this is probably the only spot where you can get the tree and the Empire State Building (blue spire, left) in the same shot. I'm not sure I knew that was possible.

Between GE and the tree.

From inside doorway of 30 Rock.

More skaters.

More tree/building.

Elaine of Elaine's died. And Chan lives right near there. Funny this should happen while I was there, since I always see celebs in NYC, and Elaine's is known for its celebs. Therefore, you know some of them would show up upon hearing of Elaine's death. So Friday night, I kept tabs on who was there--Governor Patterson and Alec Baldwin were the two biggies. So I kept going over there while Chan laughed at me and stayed in his warm apartment. Besides channel 11's Mary Murphy and the channel 4 reporter whose segment I just missed walking behind, the only possible famous person I saw was the guy in the video below. But I can't think of where I know him from! I know he's on TV for something. Can anyone help?

He's being interviewed so I know he's somebody. Anyway, yes, I know that per that Billy Joel song it's not cool to be bragging about people you saw at Elaine's, but I don't play by Joel's rules!

I think I may have mentioned this building before. I think it looks really cool. But in a city like NYC, even a cool skyscraper can get lost in the shough. I hereby christen this building "Underrated Tower."

Did some shopping for the nieces/neffs at FAO among other places. Take a look at this. The "big piano"--get it? It's big but it's also...forget it--has become so sterilized. Instead of sharing a spontaneous moment with your child-like employee, now you stand in line, wait for your group to be released onto the keyboard, get your picture taken, and move along:

That's it. Except for this picture of Long Island Sound from Old Saybrook, where I stopped to eat a bagel:

Adrian Gonzalez Talking To Us Right Now

"Dave Roberts is a good friend of mine." --Adrian Gonzalez

That's all I need to hear! Woohoo!

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Adrian Gonzalez Traded To Red Sox. Again! I Think.

The deal that was done but then wasn't is on again. It appears. Adrian Gonzalez WILL be a Red Socker. Press conference tomorrow per that Heyman Law Associates guy. Adrian appearing at Xmas at Fenway next weekend. (That last sentence is just wishful thinking.)

Update: The press conference will be at 11 a.m. Monday. (I only linked to that Boston Herald page so you can see that they're still using the old Red Sox logo. The new one begins its THIRD year in five days! So the Herald is in the running, with several other outlets who somehow missed the news and haven't figured it out in two full years, for the last-to-notice award.)

Jennifer's...Not Going To Die

The Adrian Gonzalez deal is off. For now. I guess. More here.

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