Friday, February 15, 2008

Spring Sked

Here's a page showing which spring training games will be on NESN, as well as their whole Ft. Myers coverage schedule.

The 3/6 and 3/19 games will be on ESPN, and the 3/11 and 3/12 games will be on

If you're in the NY-area, the game on 3/10 against the Mets will be on SNY. The 3/17 game against the douchebags will be on Yes.

Speaking of them: It's funny, they're finally changing the name of one of the most pompously-named facilities of all time, Tampa's "Legends Field." But they've actually come up with something even worse for it: "George M. Steinbrenner Field." Terrible job.

Random Ridiculous Past Comment By A Yankee Fan

September 20th, 2007:

Joba Da Man 62 said:

Admit- you're gonna be a little embarrassed about this when you guys eventually give up the division lead.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.


Kwiz MacFarlane

A poster of Eric Hipple appears in the background of what movie?

Clue, 2/17/08: Hipple was a Detroit Lion. In the 1980s. Detroit. '80s.


In case you didn't hear, Bruce Hurst is back with the Red Sox. Says he doesn't want a full-time position, though. Come on, Bruce. You know you want a piece of this team. Get on board! On the Great Space Coaster!

Hmmm... I think that'll be my theme for the 2008 Red Sox. The Great Space Coaster.

Update: Hurst on board!

Pigs In Space

What's up with space news? It seems like every week there's a different story in the news about some incredible thing that just might happen in space at some future date. And then you never hear about it again.

Wasn't something just about to crash into Mars? And which asteroid is about to destroy all life as we know it this month?

Don't get me wrong, I love space. You wanna blow your own mind, forget weed, go out and look up at the stars for a couple hours. As a bonus, remember that that was TV to your ancestors. Why do you think the constellations are so fucked up?

Now the internet is TV. An it keeps telling me that crazy stuff is going on in the skies. But I haven't seen anything "newsworthy" up there since that comet in, like, '96 or whenever.

But now they're saying a satellite broke and is headed our way. Next month, it should come barreling out of the sky and into one--or many--of our front yards. Fun fact: toxic materials on board!

So what is the government doing about it? Well, when a cowboy's the president, the answer is always "shoot first and think about what to do second second."

That's right, Dutch, we're takin' 'er down.

So let me get this straight: Once the thing hits the atmosphere, it gets all unruly and breaks apart. But if we hit it with a missile, the debris will come down "as quickly as possible." So we want to die sooner, then? Is that an Onion article?

And what happens if the missile misses? I don't mean with the satellite--the article answers that question: they don't know. I mean with the missile. Does it just hit space and start orbiting the planet? Until it comes down again, at which point we need to shoot it down?

And what if some other country's missile defense system sees a U.S. missile shooting up into the sky and overrides human instruction and launches some missiles our way? (Can any country even do that anymore? Don't ask me, I'm just a child of the '80s.)

Next thing you know, they'll say it was a typo, and the satellite will actually be coming down in 3008.

How about a nice game of chess?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

P & C

Pitchers and catchers report Thursday. You know what that means....

"Covering first base" practice!

Remember, run straight to the foul line, then cut left and run along it to the bag. Get the throw, make sure it's securely in your glove, and then find the bag. Everyone got that? Good. Now do it one million times.

I remember my grandpa would always clip the first articles and send them to me down in non-Boston newspaper land, when pitchers and catchers reported. Truck day may be the first sign of spring, but seeing actual players is quite a step up from that, eh?

Someone left Dice-K out in the rain... (ProJo PhoTo)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Painful Polling

ESPN just showed a poll on TV: How many of you believe Roger, and how many believe McNamee. They divided it up by state. McNamee won, count 'em, 50 of the 50 states.

Man, even Mondale got Minnesota and DC in '84. (But he should have gotten more! Modale rules! So does Dukakis! Go Duke in '88!)

Clemens Currently Lying Through Teeth To Whole World

2:40: You're on your own at this point. I'll be back later.

12:40: The nanny speaks! From earlier. Said (yesterday) that she was at Canseco's, with kids, with wife, and WITH ROGER. The nanny rules! Ooh! She says Roger invited her to his house recently after not having seen her for years! Told her to "tell the truth." This stuff coming directly from the chairman. Rusty Hardin getting pissed. God I hate this guy.

12:33: Lacy Clay now asking Clemens stuff. Clemens saying "I took no shortcuts." Surrre. Oh my god, Clemens doing that thing again. "I'm such a hard worker and you should be ashamed of yourselves for suggesting otherwise."

12:30: Now Souder asking McNamee about the needles and stuff. About getting pissed off (the phone call) and then turning further evidence over. Says to read Knoblauch's testimony on our own. Okay.

12:24: zzzzzzzzzzzzz

12:05 PM: This is getting boring.

11:49: Oh my lord. Clemens' lawyer, not Rusty, another dude, trying to interrupt. A high-raking Army medical dude said the abscess Clemens had looks a lot like it was from an injection--and not of B-12. And they ask Roger, and his lawyer guy's whispering in his ear all freaked out. Oh, I see--Clemens' side has a different doctor who made a different conclusion. Roger speaks, and is avoiding the issue.

11:37: Now McNamee doing a great job dealing with a smart-ass, Dan Burton, from Indiana. McNamee just admitting to his earlier lies, saying he was protecting the players back then. Burton kissing Clemens' ass bigtime.

11:31: McNamee now smirking as Roger lies. Roger's voice starting to break up.

11:30: Ouch. You never want to have a Congressman say, "Oh come on" to you while you're testifying. He's caught in a lie right now and he won't admit it! This is insane! Roger, just admit it! Ooh, now they're moving on to another Clemens "inconsistency." This should be good.

11:25 AM: Now they're having McNamee admit to his past lying. McNamee says he lied to protect players, but said everything he told about injections was true. Same questioner, Tierney, now asking Clemens about HIS lying, Clemens says he told the truth, but then Tierney says, "well we know you weren't being truthful," and goes over the whole thing about Rog's wife getting injected and how he DID know something, when earlier he said he didn't have any conversations with McNamee about HGH. Here we go. Here's Roger's answer: "Prior to him injecting my wife, we had no conversation...never discussed HGH in detail." This guy is George Costanza! "It's not a lie...if YOU believe it."

11:17 AM: The Canseco barbecue where everybody says Roger wasn't there. McNamee says he was and gives specific memories from the day, including Roger's nanny chasing his kid around. He even remembers the bathing suit she wore. The point is, this guy isn't just some dude who wants to make stuff up to get famous. He's just telling everybody what happened. That's what it sounds like to me. Now Roger asked about the barbecue. "I don't remember" the party. "My kids could have been." See which side is conveniently "forgetting" and which side remembers everything exactly?

11:11 AM: McNamee and Clemens now both being questioned. Remember "the phone call," and how neither side would say "I didn't do it" or "I didn't lie"? Well, McNamee says he knew the conversation was being taped, "but if you know my jargon..." you know I meant I told the truth when I said "it is what it is."

11:00 AM: Am not working in the office today, so I'm home. Didn't specifically wake up for the 9:30 hearing, but did just now get the TV on, and Roger just started talking. They went right in and asked if he thinks Pettitte is honest. Yes. They told him Pettitte said a bunch of stuff about Roger and HGH, and asked if he's still honest. "I believe Andy Pettitte misheard...."

Now he's saying, "I think Andy misremembered."

Here's a new story saying Pettitte did more HGH than he originally said. (I, and many others, predicted that one. If you admit to doing something illegal after you're caught "only twice," think about how many times that means you really did it.)

Here's McNamee saying he injected Clemens more than he previously said.

Right now, Rep. Cummings is asking Roger about Pettitte. Says Pettitte's wife said she remembers the conversation Andy had with Roger in which Roger said he admitted to using HGH. Roger keeps saying, when asked why Pettitte would lie, that Andy's "a gentleman," and "misremembers." More updates to come.

Ooh, now Rog' comes in with the "I don't remember" stuff. Not "that didn't happen," but, "I don't remember." Just give it up, man.

Number 56

It turns out maybe the reason why Craig Hansen went from phenom to no-name is because the dude had sleep apnea.

Supposedly, despite snoring like crazy, he was only getting two hours of sleep for every eight he thought he was getting. When the Red Sox said to him, "Guy, you're falling asleep during meetings," Hansen told them that a sleep clinic "said I have 56 currencies in an hour."

Who shot who in the what now? "Currencies"? So, that's, like, 56 dollars an hour? Am I missing something?

I have to assume he meant "occurrences." Of waking up. Right? I checked the dictionary, and one of the meanings of "currency" is

a time or period during which something is widely accepted and circulated

Is Craig Hansen's sleep apnea widely accepted? I guess it is now. There's also

the state of being current; up-to-dateness

Maybe he was "being current" 56 times an hour? The root word of currency, of course, is "current," which has to do with flowing and also electricity, both of which can be connected to sleep and being awake, in the abstract. Hmmmm.... Have I already spent more time thinking about this than Craig Hansen spent studying English at St. John's?

No matter what the hell he was talking about, he's "cured" now. The way they do this is to take out your tonsils and un-deviate your septum, apparently. I wonder how many instances that doctor makes a year.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So Good

I was pissed last night when I heard Pettitte wouldn't be testifying tomorrow. But it turns out he's basically already implicated Clemens. If it hasn't come across here that I am loving every second of this, I apologize.

Now both Canseco and Rocker have hinted at A-Rod having done 'roids, too. Not my favorite people in the world, but why would they go out of their way to lie, specifically about A-Rod? Oh, right, because he's so incredibly fun to pick on. But still! Ah, well, even if it turns out he never did it, it doesn't matter, because this Clemens thing is fun enough.

[Update: Now somebody says that something didn't mean something, but really something else. Or something. All I know is, Rusty Hardin is a weird man who says "waste" instead of garbage and reminds me of my 6th grade social studies teacher who wore cowboy boots and a string tie and made us watch the McNeil/Lehrer News Hour when we should have been playing kickball.]

Monday, February 11, 2008


Amalie told us earlier today about Dice-K's mullethawk, and now Noah Pransky's got video of it. I'm trying to figure out what he's going for. It almost looks like he's got a swath of lighter hair from front to back yet also slightly from one side to the other.

You know my policy. Anything Steinbrenner doesn't allow is the best thing in the world.

Announcer Update

Dave O'Brien will be Joe Castiglione's partner on radio again this year, and he'll call at least 135 games. When O'Brien is away doing national games, instead of Glenn Geffner, who moved on to the Marlins, it will be a mix of Jon Rish and Dale Arnold.

Arnold you know from the Dale & Holley show on WEEI. A voice for radio, though I've never heard him call a baseball game.

Jon Rish has been doing the post-games lately, and he seems to know his stuff. I never liked how they have him do in-game updates, but that's not his fault. At least he's got a little familiar with Joe, just from him throwing it to and from the studio, and he also has a good radio voice. We'll see how these two pan out, but the key is, it's mainly Joe/Dave duo now.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Farewell And Adieu

Roy Scheider dead at 75. What a job he did as Chief Brody in one of my all-time faves, Jaws. "I can do anything, I'm the chief of police."

The Coke bottles have been taken down from the left light tower on the Green Monster. NESN showed them coming down just now. A January 16th CHB article said they'd be relocated to another light tower, but NESN only said that "new" Coke advertising would be replacing them up there. (Note in that article he also talks about the Pats' "19-0 ride.")

On that same show on NESN, they had a long report on the Red Sox cruise--it was Gedman heaven, as Rich was aboard, playing ping pong and signing autographs. As was Orsillo, who didn't even try very hard to fake like he was having a good time. A lot of older folks go on those baseball cruises. What I never knew was that you "share" the cruise with other teams. It was the Padres/Red Sox/Orioles cruise. What a reality show that would be....


Here's NECN's report on truck day. The red-haired woman with Steve the Ferret is Kelly, aka Sitting Still. (Click there for Red Sox photo galleries that are way better than those of the "real" media.) (And ignore the part in the video where they talk about some game in another sport that has nothing to do with the champion Red Sox.)

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