It turns out maybe the reason why Craig Hansen went from phenom to no-name is because the dude had sleep apnea.

Supposedly, despite snoring like crazy, he was only getting two hours of sleep for every eight he thought he was getting. When the Red Sox said to him, "Guy, you're falling asleep during meetings," Hansen told them that a sleep clinic "said I have 56 currencies in an hour."

Who shot who in the what now? "Currencies"? So, that's, like, 56 dollars an hour? Am I missing something?

I have to assume he meant "occurrences." Of waking up. Right? I checked the dictionary, and one of the meanings of "currency" is

a time or period during which something is widely accepted and circulated

Is Craig Hansen's sleep apnea widely accepted? I guess it is now. There's also

the state of being current; up-to-dateness

Maybe he was "being current" 56 times an hour? The root word of currency, of course, is "current," which has to do with flowing and also electricity, both of which can be connected to sleep and being awake, in the abstract. Hmmmm.... Have I already spent more time thinking about this than Craig Hansen spent studying English at St. John's?

No matter what the hell he was talking about, he's "cured" now. The way they do this is to take out your tonsils and un-deviate your septum, apparently. I wonder how many instances that doctor makes a year.