With all this movie talk, I've been thinking:

Why don't they show movies on the Green Monster?

They could have movie nights after games. Anybody who wants to stay for a movie could filter into the seats behind the first base dugout (because you know they ain't lettin' anybody onto the field; but in a perfect world, everybody would sit out on the grass). After a half hour or so, they could turn off the main lights and just project The Lost Boys or whatever onto the Monster. The price would be, let's say, free, because with the money we're all spending, they need to give out more free stuff. They'd get two more hours worth of concession sales, anyway.

Speaking of free stuff, I think this year's rule should be: Every paying customer at every game in 2005 gets some kind of 2004 Champs memoribilia. And the promotions department should know that each and every one of us already has something to put our keys on. Okay, I've gone too far. I'm perfectly happy with what this management has done already. Just makin' suggestions.

But back to the movie idea: Has this ever been done before? I think I'm gonna write to the team on the this one. If you'd like to help get "Monster Movie Mania" going, write to them as well, and give them the link to this post.

And from
Joy Of Sox, check this out.

The yankees organization, especially Michael Kay, loves to brag about their "interlocking NY" logo. Or as my dad calls it, "the arachnid."

I was thinking about it, and I've decided that in no way are the "N" and "Y" interlocked. One letter is just sitting on the other. Only one part of the "N" crosses the "Y", and vice versa. So how are they interlocked?

If that middle line of the "N" crossed over the two upper limbs of the "Y," you could say that it goes over one limb and under the other, creating a weave, i.e. "interlocking," design. But you still wouldn't be able to tell in that case, since the arachnid is always one solid color.

I did discover that there's a type of stitch called "interlock." Maybe the "NY" on the hat uses that design. I will call Chan and ask if there's anything complicated about it on his yankee hat. But I'm guessing it's just a regular stitch. Hold on, dialing Chan...

Okay, Chan says the "Y" is just laying over the "N", no crazy stitching.

I'm right on this one, I think. No interlocking.

Chan turned me on to Google Maps. It's really cool. It has satellite images of the whole world, basically. We were talking on the phone, both looking at the same map, trying to give each other directions to places. I found Angels Stadium, then under repairs. I was telling Chan, "Okay, go down I-5..." You'll see what I mean when you look at it, with the way you can scroll the maps along your screen. I saw the little hotel I stayed at in Seattle, Fenway Park (pre-Monster seats), and--type in an airport code and it will take you right to it. I found a plane in the air west of LAX, over the water. But you have to be seriously bored to find it. I'll probably spend the next few days looking for more planes in the air.

Today, I realized that a World Series victory has completely no effect on the feelings I have when the Red Sox are seemingly trying as hard as they can to lose a game to the yankees.

And when they eventually came back and won, the feeling of total and utter sweetness was just as sweet as always.

A-Rod, key game-blowing error.

Mariano, another blown save.

"Ear-to-ear" does not do justice to the grin I've had locked on my face for the last four hours.

The proverbial tide turned last year, and it the trend is continuing: Which of the two teams normally wins the first two games, has victory in sight in the third, but blows it, leaving the other with all the momentum?

Apparently it's them now.

"Watching" the game (on Gameday Live) today, I was getting more and more frustrated. I was really pissed. I thought all the double plays and runners left on base had to be a practical joke. But I kept telling myself, Think of it from their perspective. They have to know that they are sure to lose because they can't keep lucking out every inning. (Or doing a great job escaping jams, you can't tell when the game is just words on a screen.) And if they do lose, it will be worse for them than it will be for us if we lose. In fact, I kind of hoped they'd get yet another chance at a double play, and blow it, to lose the game. And, while Manny was up in the ninth (I was in my car listening on radio for that inning, fortunately), I was rooting for him to hit a dong of course, not to hit a double play grounder and root for it to get botched. But how awesome was it when it actually happened? And it was our friend A-Rod, ha!

When I turned on Kay's radio show later on, he was saying "I am SO not proud to be a New Yorker today." He was talking about how Mariano got his ass booed (for his FOURTH blown save in a row--all to the World Champion Boston Red Sox).

I think what Michael is in complete denial of is the fact that yankee fans really are concerned about the Red Sox, and really want the yanks to beat them specifically. Especially this year. Michael is stuck in the past, still pretending that the Sox are second-class citizens, who yankee fans can't be bothered by. I say "pretending" because, as all the "Boston Sucks" T-shirts and signs that have been around for decades show, they always have cared about us (that's what a rivalry is), but would often act like they don't really care about "those losers." (As the "What Rivalry?" T-shirts show.)

So when their greatest-of-all-time reliever gets to the point where he's consistently failing against the Red Sox, well, as my friend Rebecca said today, "What are they gonna do, give him a standing ovation?"

I've got some more topics about yankee fans fresh in my head, so watch for those soon. In the meantime, check out this really fine yankee-hating column by Samara. It starts as a David Wells rant, then gets into some great yankee bashing, the exact kind I can relate to. (And can't see why everybody else, including yankee fans, can't.)

A friend of mine was confused as to why I call Terry Francona "Stankonia." It is not because I think he "stanks." I love Francona, as all good Sox fans should. The Stankonia comes from the fact that he has a similar name to an album by OutKast.

So to review:

Stankonia:


Francona:


Get well soon, Tito.

So hard monitoring a baseball game on Yahoo sports. I should just quit my job.

You still go through the emotions, but it's just not the same as watching or listening.

Like Varitek's homer, for example. Yes, I found out, almost right away, that it happened, and I was just as excited as I would have been had I actually witnessed it. But it was comparable to a movie where our hero gets the girl, but we don't see a romantic kiss at sunset. Instead, the dude gets a text message saying "Have chosen you." And then Jeter's homer was like a follow-up message that says, "Ignore last communication."

And then enough credits that can fit on the screen appear, stationary, before refreshing 30 seconds later.

I did hear a few minutes of it in my car. Castiglione was bragging about his "role" in Fever Pitch.

And as usual, I saw none of the fifteen or so yankee fans at work making any attempt to get an update on the game at any point during the day. They just sit and wait til someone tells them the playoffs are starting. Pathetic.

The Sox will be fine. In fact, on Backwards Kay's radio show after the game, he was saying that this yankee win was more troubling than the Mets' loss on Monday. Because of the Rivera thing.

Before anyone says that the Sox are just going to not try, assuming that they're already in the playoffs, remember, that's what everyone said most of last season.

And I've noticed that Hideki Matsui has been awarded the MVP already. Let's hold off on these predictions for at least a few months, okay?

Tomorrow, Timmy will put us in the W column.

Update, 2009: These pics disappeared but I'll get 'em back up at some point.


The exact moment that I could say, for the first time in my life, "I'm watching the World Champion Boston Red Sox play." (And I did.)


"My name's Jason, I'm the captain of the team, I've got a ring, and I'm rockin' one leg..."


Kurt Cobain's back and he's pitching (righty) for the Sox!


I don't know this woman. The bottom line reads "You did!" Not "OU did!"

So...Fatboy really came through, huh? I was pissed at him. I was calling him names out there in the bleachers. But then, today, on the radio, I heard a clip of Torre complimenting the Unit, saying, "He was a machine out there." And I thought, I may not be the president of Boomer's fanclub, but he's definitely the opposite of a machine, and those are the kind I want on my side. So despite what I said to Chan at the Stadium last night about "I won't be happy until he wins at least eight in a row," I will be rooting for David. He just needs to, you know, not balk in runs.

After Edgar made that nice play on the force out where he went to his right, I bragged to Chan (a yankee fan, by the way) how great Chopper was. That seemed to have jinxed him, and he botched balls repeatedly after that. Although the yankee Staduim scorekeeper was pretty stingy about giving out errors.

I noticed something about the flags, the ones that are in order of the standings. The order went New York, Boston, Baltimore, Tampa Bay, Toronto. So I guess when everyone's zero and zero, they put themselves first, then, surprisingly, the Red Sox, and then they go alphabetically after that. Maybe they just did it so cameras could get a shot of the NY and Boston flags side by side.

Lots of Sox fans as usual, but I do think George's "no groups for Sox games" plan worked a little. I really couldn't tell, being in the bleachers, and not being allowed to go anywhere else. (Good to keep the animals in their cage, I guess.) But I was thinking, maybe George could just start not allowing other teams in. Then the yanks could just play each other, and win every game. Cool how a huge section of Sox fans over in the left field lower deck made themselves known, even though the Sox were losing by a lot at that point

I liked how a lot of people took their kids home after Jeter's last at bat. Because it just showed how much these people care about A-Rod. Ha! "Best player in baseball," and all his home fans head for the exits as he's coming up.

We stayed til the bitter end. Cold as an emmer-effer. Seriously. The rain mostly held off, but still, I almost didn't make it. Was humorous when someone behind me said, in complete seriousness, "yanks won't blow this."

And hey Tino, they LOVE you. Enough to give you a standing ovation, just like they did for the admitted steroid user.

Same old Stadium, same old yankee fans. Only now, their insults are based on assumption, not fact. And talk about short memories. You just gotta smile at 'em, though, because they know. They fucking know.

Turns out it wasn't the winning after all: They were arrogant pricks to begin with.

[Edit 4/4/06: Updated version from April 2006 here.]

It's midnight. April 3rd is here.

For the faction out there that doesn't care about baseball at all until the season actually starts, and are coming back to this blog for the first time since October, or are new to it, here's a summary:

I'm a dude named Jere, turning 30 years old this year. My day job is "proofreader," but I am really a rogue artist, making whatever form of DIY art I choose to make on any given day (when I'm not sitting around on my lazy butt), and having more fun than a millionaire could ever have on a proofreader's salary. I mean hourly rate.

I live in Western Connecticut. Born here.

I've listened to and rooted for the Boston Red Sox on radio my whole life, while watching and rooting against the New York yankees (whose name I never capitalize.) This is beacause I'm in what's considered "The New York Area," aka "The Tri-State Area," and I've never been able to get New England Sports Network, despite having always lived in New England. But since my parents, both lifelong Sox fans, moved to the New Haven area, I can go there to watch the Red Sox.

As a result of this area never getting to see the fun-lovin' World Champion Red Sox, all the casual baseball fans are decked out in shiny new yankee gear, (or Mets when they're doing better than the yanks) making me want to vomit every time I step outside. I see more Red Sox fans in New York City than I do around here.

I'm not your average baseball fan as I am a liberal and a feminist who doesn't drink, doesn't eat meat, and doesn't treat women and minorities like crap.

I used to go to Fenway a few times a year, a number which has gone up of late, as I am now a 10th-Person Plan subscriber. I see a game or two at yankee Stadium yearly, except for 1997, as I was so disgusted after the yanks won the for the first time in my life (that I was fully conscious of). When I go, I always wear my Red Sox gear. I've also seen, or will see this year, the Red Sox play in Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Cleveland, Cooperstown, Toronto, Chicago, and Kansas City.

I write a lot about:

1. The Red Sox from the point of view of an eternal optimist who is frequently sad and cynical anyway, is suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, professional crastination disease, and what has to be some form of autism, and likes to joke around, at least until the next mood swing.

2. bostondirtdogs.com and how he/they attempt to speak for all Red Sox fans, while usually having the opposite opinion of me (and stating it like it's fact.)

3. Michael Kay, yankee radio announcer and talk show host, and how he's the most arrogant, disgusting, pure-evil filled ego-maniac of all time, and how, in my opinion, should die. (And other sports media.)

4. My divine hatred of the yankees, including its players, past and present, announcers, management, and scum-sucking owner.

5. The habits of bandwagoning yankee fans in the wild.

6. Stuff I see/rip off from other blogs. See links section.

7. Bands and musicians I see perform. And any movies I see, and the very few TV shows I watch.

8. Left-wing politics, but not enough as I should. Once I get a really big fan base, then I'll get to the brainwashing.

9. Pop culture things that no one remembers or cares about except me.

10. Movies that have Bill Murray in them.

Wacky neighbors: Pat, who shares the 10-Game Plan with me; Chan, who is Chan.

I don't plan on ever having any ads on my site, except for the one text link that blogger makes you put up. I do this for fun.

Thanks for reading.

2005 starts today. Let's go Red Sox.......................


[Edit 5/5/05: This is all still true, except that I now live in New York City, home of the biggest chokers in the history of baseball]

Labels: About This Blog

Tonight I went to the Ridgefield Playhouse with Chan to see writers/monolougists David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell. Or so we, and everyone else, thought. But Sarah Vowell wasn't there. There was no mention of her. Terrible job, Ridgefield Playhouse.(Saw a Sox hat up in the balcony before the show. Double-pointed up at him. He waved back. Chan rolled his eyes.)

But I have to say, David Sedaris did a pretty good job of making up for it. That dude is hilarious. I recommend buying one of his books.

My shoes have holes in the soles and it's flooding outside. A bad combo. But a good country song, probably.

Over at Empyreal Environs, there's a nice thing about Bill Mueller. It's time the "other" Bill Mueller gets his due. Click here for the "other" Bill Mueller's site.

I know on Father's Day, I always used to get a bat painted on my face, with its head slightly off center, and hang out with my dad Bill Mueller and my sister, who'd both have unpainted faces, on the edge of a cliff. Didn't you?

He missed April Fool's Day by a day. Would have been kind of an ironic victory for Pagans. Oh, well.

In 1979, the year I turned four, the Pope visited New York. I remember each television station switching over to Pope coverage, one by one. At one point, Gilligan's Island was the last show standing. I could live with that. But Gilligan ended, and Get Smart came on. I like the theme song, but wasn't a fan of the show. At all. Thanks a lot, Popey. Taking away kids' shows like that. It was "me, me, me" with that dude...

Also, this officially closes the book on a bet I had with my friend Bruce: Who will die first, Reagan or the Pope. I've long since lost, of course. But our new bet is heating up (Who will have a baby first, Spears or Aguilera) as Britney may be pregnant. I'm hoping not, as i picked Aggie.

It's only a dollar, these bets, so it's no big deal.

[For details on the title of this post, check the internet or ask a friend. It's from '78.]

Whenever my friend Drew Blood goes to Amsterdam, I naturally ask him to bring me back a receipt for a glass of beer from a movie theater. He has just returned, once again without my receipt. But he did give me this interesting fact about soccer stadiums over there:

"i saw this at the ajax/psv eindhoven soccer game i went to, they put psv fans in one section, caged in, with military on both sides of the section to prevent a riot, and they had to take a special train and walk though a tube from the train station, to get into the arena to their seats.

im thinking this could give baseball games more atmosphere, because a yank fan can never insult you at a game, to your face anyway."

Very interesting...

Thanks to all two of you who gave me sign ideas for Sunday night, they were both great. But I'm going with "2004 ALCS: A Ruthian Collapse."

So look for it behind the Ruth monument before the game starts, if they do send a camera out there.

Tonight, Chan and I go to see Sarah Vowell and David Sedaris speak. I like both, but mainly Vowell, who, unfortunately may end up being most known for being the voice of the daughter in The Incredibles. I liked the movie and all, but she's done so much great writing and should be known for that first. You may have also seen her as a guest on Conan O'Brien's show. She's been on there quite a bit.

How sweet is it to see the pitching matchup for Sunday up on redsox.com? Seeing that, you know that it is time.

Weird how the yankee starter is known for beating the yankees, and the Red Sox starter is known for being a yankee. Don't disappoint us, big number 3.

Mike Francesa: "The yanks will win the World Series."

(Then he goes on to say that there's no team you can guarantee will win 85 games in the National League. But the yanks winning it all--apparently that's pre-determined.)

The great thing was that after Mad Dog countered Mike's prediction with a Red Sox-Giants World Series, it wasn't followed by Francesa chuckling.

Kay: The Red Sox will win 102 or 103 games. But the yanks will win 108. And: "I don't see any possible way the yankees can not win the AL East...Six or seven players would have to get hurt."

Now let's do a little test. How would it sound, Kay and Kay followers, if I heard your predictions and in my most serious, journalistic voice, said, "As long as they've got that 'NY' on their chest, you know they'll just blow it in the end."

Or

"It's really the attitude of the people of the Bronx. Since 2001, losing is just ingrained in their lifestyle. In fact, I think they like it. It has to do with the long, cold winters there, and the Puritan work ethic."

Sounds pretty stupid, huh? Like, stupid enough to get a newspaper writer fired, right?

Y'all are gonna kill me. I'm 29 years old, from the United States, and I've never seen Star Wars.

Summer, 1977. I'm almost two years old, my sister is almost five. Mom and dad take us to see the movie that everybody's talking about. Probably with plans to stop at Baskin Robbins afterwards. We get to theater, and the movie begins. Darth Vader appears on the screen. I look at his helmet/mask and say, "Volkswagen!" My sister, however, is frightened. We are forced to leave the theater.

So it's Jene's fault.

The two sequels followed, everybody saw 'em and had the lunch boxes, but I had no interest.

So when these newer (older) films started coming out, I decided I was going to watch the whole series in order. I remember them saying that a new one would come out every three years. I was 24 at the time. So I told my friends, when I'm 30, the third one will come out, and I'll watch it, then rent four through six.

So it's here, people. I'm turning 30 this year, and I'm going to go ahead with the plan. But since I only saw Episode I in the theater, and skipped II, I'll just rent the five others, watch the first two, go to the third in the theater, then come home and watch the last (original) three.

Oh, and this will all happen in one day.

Brian has already confirmed that he will join me, although I think it might be better if I have friends join me in shifts. I also need to eat at some point, though Brian says popcorn is a good meal sometimes.

I wonder if it's doable. I will find out in May.

And if you're still stuck on "he's never seen friggin' Star Wars," well, I mean, I've obviously come across it on TV over the years, and seen some parts, but never the whole thing. Not even close. Also, that story is just how my mom tells it, so if you say that Darth Vader didn't even appear until the end of the movie or something, well, blame my mom. And I almost feel like at one point somebody rented it with me so I could finally see it, but if that happened, I don't have any memories of the movie. And I definitely didn't see Empire or Jedi.

I'M GOING TO OPENING DAY.

AT FENWAY.

"THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT, MAN, I'M FUCKIN' GOIN'." --JULES WINNFIELD

YES, THIS REQUIRES ALL CAPS.

The power of the internet and the kindness of people, I tell you. I recently put out a joking request for someone to give me Opening Day tickets. "Joking" meaning I thought I had no chance. Long-time commenter Sam replied, telling me (and everybody else, jeez, man. Heh heh.) of someone who had an extra.

Here is a link to Sam's Devil Rays site on Most Valuable Network. Please go there.

From Sam, I was directed to Dave, computer genius of AllBaseball/Most Valuable Network. I proposed a trade: A lot of other tickets for the Opening Day ticket. I thought I'd get a reply saying, "Sure, throw in $100000000 dollars and you've got yourself a deal." Instead, Dave passed my offer over to Evan, who you all know as FIREBRAND OF THE A.L., which has long been his page on Most Valuable Network.

Evan runs MVN, and has recently acquired All-Baseball.com, and now Most Valuable Network and All-Baseball.com are together.

The point is, Evan was kind enough to accept my offer. He had an extra and was willing to trade me. Please go to his site. Stay there for extended periods of time. Tell all your friends. Send him donations. Gold bars are accepted. Again, that's All-Baseball.com. Home of the dude who got me in to the F'n Ring Ceremony and Flag Raising! Against the motherhumping, choking yankees for Satan's sake!

So, talk about gold, I'm in for both Opening Days.

Wow, Most Valuable Network, like the Shitty Beatles and Bad Jack, turned out to be "not just a clever name."

Three of its members showed their value (of most-ness) to this Red Sox fan. Thank you all.

The lineup is now:

Opening Day at Stadium, first two games at Fenway, Hall Of Fame Game and RF roof seats in May, Reds first regular season series game at Fenway and a Pirates game in June, 2 @Cleveland and 1 @ Philly also in June for a five out of eight games stretch, yanks and a field box game vs Minny in July, Monster seats in August, yanks on Oct 1, and a playoff game (if we make it) as part of the 10 game plan. Plus some other games. This is gonna be sweet. I can finally relax for a few days before the season starts. I have the exact tickets I want.

And in the weird coincidences category, you know how I've said I always wanted to be in the background of a famous picture? (If you're the person I was talking to in real life last night, at least you do, if no one else remembers from this blog.) Well, while I was talking to Evan about our trade tonight, he told me he knows a dude who is in the background of Fisk's HR, and has a framed picture of it. Awesome. I think it's funny how I hear that, and get so envious of the person, when I could just look in the foreground of the picture, and see the person who actually has the fame and fortune. The person who the picture is intended to be of. It's like, "Yeah, Fisk rules, but who's the guy with the mustard stain?..."

I'd like to also thank the baseball gods, who, one day in mid-October 2004, came down and said to me, "Dude, we've decided to just go ahead and give you everything you've ever wanted."

But of course, to all the great human beings who were really responsible, thank you first and foremost.

And as I just changed the time and DATE of this post, because it passed midnight, I realized it's April Fools' Day. So if you were wondering, this is not Fool's Gold. This is gold. I am really going to Opening Day.

Also, if anyone has a ticket for my friend Pat.....contact me.

Hey, I'm on a roll, why not give it a shot?