Friday, April 01, 2005

If They Should Bar Wars

Y'all are gonna kill me. I'm 29 years old, from the United States, and I've never seen Star Wars.

Summer, 1977. I'm almost two years old, my sister is almost five. Mom and dad take us to see the movie that everybody's talking about. Probably with plans to stop at Baskin Robbins afterwards. We get to theater, and the movie begins. Darth Vader appears on the screen. I look at his helmet/mask and say, "Volkswagen!" My sister, however, is frightened. We are forced to leave the theater.

So it's Jene's fault.

The two sequels followed, everybody saw 'em and had the lunch boxes, but I had no interest.

So when these newer (older) films started coming out, I decided I was going to watch the whole series in order. I remember them saying that a new one would come out every three years. I was 24 at the time. So I told my friends, when I'm 30, the third one will come out, and I'll watch it, then rent four through six.

So it's here, people. I'm turning 30 this year, and I'm going to go ahead with the plan. But since I only saw Episode I in the theater, and skipped II, I'll just rent the five others, watch the first two, go to the third in the theater, then come home and watch the last (original) three.

Oh, and this will all happen in one day.

Brian has already confirmed that he will join me, although I think it might be better if I have friends join me in shifts. I also need to eat at some point, though Brian says popcorn is a good meal sometimes.

I wonder if it's doable. I will find out in May.

And if you're still stuck on "he's never seen friggin' Star Wars," well, I mean, I've obviously come across it on TV over the years, and seen some parts, but never the whole thing. Not even close. Also, that story is just how my mom tells it, so if you say that Darth Vader didn't even appear until the end of the movie or something, well, blame my mom. And I almost feel like at one point somebody rented it with me so I could finally see it, but if that happened, I don't have any memories of the movie. And I definitely didn't see Empire or Jedi.


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Location: Rhode Island, United States