Saturday, April 09, 2005

Free Boo's

Randy "The X Factor" Jonhson: 6 innings, 5 runs (4 earned), 8 hits.

Outpitched by Bruce Chen. Which is funny, since sportscasters everywhere chuckled at this match-up.

Too bad the yanks won, thanks to a cheap bloop double (which is going unmentioned in articles about the game) and a Ruben Sierra home-run, which prompted a curtain call from yankee fans. Curtain call. Ruben Sierra. April. Have these people just lost their minds or what? The cheers and boos seem to come almost at random nowadays.

The O's already got a win against the yanks in the series. That seems to be all we can ask of them lately, so I guess we have to take the one, but with the bonus that they've got one more shot tomorrow. And then it's ring time.

As for our own shortcomings:

The fat one continues to falter. Maybe he could call for every park to be blown up until he finds one he can win in. But I will continue to root for him. We'll see if he can get straightened out. I heard he actually didn't do too bad, except for the home run followed by another home run, followed by yet another home run. (As if we wouldn't notice, Boomer...)

Didn't catch any of the Sox game, and only got to hear a little of Sterling and the untalented traitor in the car, as Chan and I were in NYC. On our way home, we stupidly got caught in yankee Stadium traffic. And who drives up along side us, but Mariano Rivera in his silver billion dollar car. We tried to follow him, but he cut through the traffic, escaping up the Thruway. (Probably because everybody was letting him merge into their lane.) My plan was to respectfully tip my hat at him. My Red Sox hat. Next time.

Also, at one point, there were two other Sox fans nearby, and between them and I, there was a Sox hat on three different corners of an intersection. And I saw a girl with an "I do it with my Sox on" T-shirt.

I heard yet another sportscaster say, "Criticize Mariano on the radio or to your friends, but if you want to boo him, please stay home and don't go to the game." I'm so baffled by these supposed "freedom"-loving Americans who just love to try to tell people what they can and cannot do. It's like a new trend. LIke "I don't like Barry he should be forced to retire." And "I don't like your point of you should shut up." It's kind of like the mentality of "If you don't like this country, get out." Not "Speak your opinion, it's what this country is based upon," but "Get out." Wouldn't these people be great as suicide hotline operators? "You don't want to live? Well, go ahead and kill yourself, then." It's all dictated by the media, anyway.

Maybe these sportscasters have never had to pay 5 dollars for a bottled water and 50 dollars to park (happened at Fenway at least once). With fans paying these prices, expect them to voice their opinion.

Would I boo a guy who helped my team to four championships? Doesn't matter. The point is that I'm allowed to. And so is everybody else. Do I like it when yankee fans make themselves look like fools? Of course.

Another thing people are forgetting is that there isn't a sound you can make as a group that means "We love and are grateful for what you've done in the past but we wish you'd stop losing to to our arch-rivals over and over and over again, although sports reporters everywhere seem to think it's only been either 2 or 4 times in a row."

Maybe it is the "true" yankee fans that booed him. The ones who watch every game, and have seen this guy decline over the last few years, despite the newspapers failing to report it. The ones who've seen every blown save to the Red Sox, not just the ones in the playoffs.

Eh, who am I kidding? No yankee fan watches every game.

Friday, April 08, 2005

"We'll Be Back In Two And Two"-Chuck Woolery

Thanks to my dad for pointing out this article from the Daily News by Bob Raissman. Great stuff for anti-Kay people.

The Devil Rays' slogan this year is "Watch It Happen." Who came up with that one, Mike Hunt? Hey, at least they're honest.

The yanks' is "Looking Back, Looking Forward." Because they definitely don't want you to see what's going on right now.

Which is that Jaret Wright got shelled in his first outing tonight, the bullpen is for shit, and Mariano just ain't right. (My mom pointed out tonight that on Opening Day at Fenway, when they announce the yankee players, Mo will get one of the biggest ovations of the day. And you know, if he does, he should pull an LAPD in Heat, when Pacino's character realizes he's just been had, and he just smiles and throws up his hands, knowing that the criminals are taking his picture. If he did that, I'd have some respect for him. But I'm sure he'll just look down and frown. Which would be good to see anyway.)

My point is, tonight was a good night, and I think the yanks are gonna have problems, while the Sox will soon be firing on all, you know, those things. Foulke will be all right, and so will Edgar. But we're already tied for first (with every other team, I know) with those guys and Manny slumping. I smell repeat.

Like I said, everybody's in first place. The entire AL East is 2-2. Phil Rizzuto is saying, "Dueces are wild, White" in his grave. Oh wait, he continues to live. Sorry.

This also reminds me of the time when Bob Costas started off an NFL pregame show by saying, "Everybody give me five, because every team in the AFC East is 5-5." This had to be '87-ish. He proceeded to give high fives to Ahmad Rashad and Paul McGuire, I think.

7 On The Cosette Scale

Get me at the beginning of any season of the year, and I'll tell you that that one is my favorite. Today's favorite is spring, of course. It was the first day that we hit seventy degrees. I actually heard crickets, my favorite warm weather sound. I love driving past a swampy area, around dusk, and hearing those crickets. I slow down, turn down the radio, and roll down the window. What a great sound. Are these creatures aware of the emotions that they're bringing out in us?

They remind me of being in Puerto Rico. If you've never been there, well, there's this tree frog that I think lives only there, called the coqui. It has a distinctive sound which fills the tropical night air: co-qui. (Duh.)

Now I'm coming off as some kind of chirping-animal expert. But I really only know the two kinds. Warmweatherus Cricketus Americanus, and the coqui. Such a big fan of the coqui I was, as a nine year old, that I got a T-shirt down there that said "Coqui Vice." It had two coquis, dressed up as Crockett and Tubbs, leaning on a car. (This was the mid-eighties.)

Now that I think about it, those "swamp crickets" I'm hearing are probably frogs, too.

My other favorite warm weather sound is whatever bug makes that long buzzing sound.

(I'm talking nature sounds here, which is why I'm not mentioning "crack of the bat.")

So tonight, I sat ouside for a while, not taking for granted the fact that the mosquitos aren't out yet. And it is true that we vegetarians get bitten the most. Because, of course, we taste the best.

Then I looked at the weather for Monday, the big day.


Either they just have no idea or there's a storm of biblical proportions on the way. Both seem plausible.

I wrote this yesterday, but blogger was all screwed up. So it's already the next day, and Arroyo's about to pitch vs. the Jays. Give us something special, Bronson. Show 'em who the true #2 is.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Monster Movies

With all this movie talk, I've been thinking:

Why don't they show movies on the Green Monster?

They could have movie nights after games. Anybody who wants to stay for a movie could filter into the seats behind the first base dugout (because you know they ain't lettin' anybody onto the field; but in a perfect world, everybody would sit out on the grass). After a half hour or so, they could turn off the main lights and just project The Lost Boys or whatever onto the Monster. The price would be, let's say, free, because with the money we're all spending, they need to give out more free stuff. They'd get two more hours worth of concession sales, anyway.

Speaking of free stuff, I think this year's rule should be: Every paying customer at every game in 2005 gets some kind of 2004 Champs memoribilia. And the promotions department should know that each and every one of us already has something to put our keys on. Okay, I've gone too far. I'm perfectly happy with what this management has done already. Just makin' suggestions.

But back to the movie idea: Has this ever been done before? I think I'm gonna write to the team on the this one. If you'd like to help get "Monster Movie Mania" going, write to them as well, and give them the link to this post.

And from
Joy Of Sox, check this out.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

"Interlocking," My Ass

The yankees organization, especially Michael Kay, loves to brag about their "interlocking NY" logo. Or as my dad calls it, "the arachnid."

I was thinking about it, and I've decided that in no way are the "N" and "Y" interlocked. One letter is just sitting on the other. Only one part of the "N" crosses the "Y", and vice versa. So how are they interlocked?

If that middle line of the "N" crossed over the two upper limbs of the "Y," you could say that it goes over one limb and under the other, creating a weave, i.e. "interlocking," design. But you still wouldn't be able to tell in that case, since the arachnid is always one solid color.

I did discover that there's a type of stitch called "interlock." Maybe the "NY" on the hat uses that design. I will call Chan and ask if there's anything complicated about it on his yankee hat. But I'm guessing it's just a regular stitch. Hold on, dialing Chan...

Okay, Chan says the "Y" is just laying over the "N", no crazy stitching.

I'm right on this one, I think. No interlocking.

Chan turned me on to Google Maps. It's really cool. It has satellite images of the whole world, basically. We were talking on the phone, both looking at the same map, trying to give each other directions to places. I found Angels Stadium, then under repairs. I was telling Chan, "Okay, go down I-5..." You'll see what I mean when you look at it, with the way you can scroll the maps along your screen. I saw the little hotel I stayed at in Seattle, Fenway Park (pre-Monster seats), and--type in an airport code and it will take you right to it. I found a plane in the air west of LAX, over the water. But you have to be seriously bored to find it. I'll probably spend the next few days looking for more planes in the air.

Mo Money, Mo Boo's

Today, I realized that a World Series victory has completely no effect on the feelings I have when the Red Sox are seemingly trying as hard as they can to lose a game to the yankees.

And when they eventually came back and won, the feeling of total and utter sweetness was just as sweet as always.

A-Rod, key game-blowing error.

Mariano, another blown save.

"Ear-to-ear" does not do justice to the grin I've had locked on my face for the last four hours.

The proverbial tide turned last year, and it the trend is continuing: Which of the two teams normally wins the first two games, has victory in sight in the third, but blows it, leaving the other with all the momentum?

Apparently it's them now.

"Watching" the game (on Gameday Live) today, I was getting more and more frustrated. I was really pissed. I thought all the double plays and runners left on base had to be a practical joke. But I kept telling myself, Think of it from their perspective. They have to know that they are sure to lose because they can't keep lucking out every inning. (Or doing a great job escaping jams, you can't tell when the game is just words on a screen.) And if they do lose, it will be worse for them than it will be for us if we lose. In fact, I kind of hoped they'd get yet another chance at a double play, and blow it, to lose the game. And, while Manny was up in the ninth (I was in my car listening on radio for that inning, fortunately), I was rooting for him to hit a dong of course, not to hit a double play grounder and root for it to get botched. But how awesome was it when it actually happened? And it was our friend A-Rod, ha!

When I turned on Kay's radio show later on, he was saying "I am SO not proud to be a New Yorker today." He was talking about how Mariano got his ass booed (for his FOURTH blown save in a row--all to the World Champion Boston Red Sox).

I think what Michael is in complete denial of is the fact that yankee fans really are concerned about the Red Sox, and really want the yanks to beat them specifically. Especially this year. Michael is stuck in the past, still pretending that the Sox are second-class citizens, who yankee fans can't be bothered by. I say "pretending" because, as all the "Boston Sucks" T-shirts and signs that have been around for decades show, they always have cared about us (that's what a rivalry is), but would often act like they don't really care about "those losers." (As the "What Rivalry?" T-shirts show.)

So when their greatest-of-all-time reliever gets to the point where he's consistently failing against the Red Sox, well, as my friend Rebecca said today, "What are they gonna do, give him a standing ovation?"

I've got some more topics about yankee fans fresh in my head, so watch for those soon. In the meantime, check out this really fine yankee-hating column by Samara. It starts as a David Wells rant, then gets into some great yankee bashing, the exact kind I can relate to. (And can't see why everybody else, including yankee fans, can't.)

Tito Stankonia

A friend of mine was confused as to why I call Terry Francona "Stankonia." It is not because I think he "stanks." I love Francona, as all good Sox fans should. The Stankonia comes from the fact that he has a similar name to an album by OutKast.

So to review:

Andre once sat next to Chan at a restaurant bar

Am I allowed to use this bat, sir?

Get well soon, Tito.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Reading A Ballgame

So hard monitoring a baseball game on Yahoo sports. I should just quit my job.

You still go through the emotions, but it's just not the same as watching or listening.

Like Varitek's homer, for example. Yes, I found out, almost right away, that it happened, and I was just as excited as I would have been had I actually witnessed it. But it was comparable to a movie where our hero gets the girl, but we don't see a romantic kiss at sunset. Instead, the dude gets a text message saying "Have chosen you." And then Jeter's homer was like a follow-up message that says, "Ignore last communication."

And then enough credits that can fit on the screen appear, stationary, before refreshing 30 seconds later.

I did hear a few minutes of it in my car. Castiglione was bragging about his "role" in Fever Pitch.

And as usual, I saw none of the fifteen or so yankee fans at work making any attempt to get an update on the game at any point during the day. They just sit and wait til someone tells them the playoffs are starting. Pathetic.

The Sox will be fine. In fact, on Backwards Kay's radio show after the game, he was saying that this yankee win was more troubling than the Mets' loss on Monday. Because of the Rivera thing.

Before anyone says that the Sox are just going to not try, assuming that they're already in the playoffs, remember, that's what everyone said most of last season.

And I've noticed that Hideki Matsui has been awarded the MVP already. Let's hold off on these predictions for at least a few months, okay?

Tomorrow, Timmy will put us in the W column.

Monday, April 04, 2005

yankee Stadium, April 3rd, 2005

Update, 2009: These pics disappeared but I'll get 'em back up at some point.

F the Unit
The exact moment that I could say, for the first time in my life, "I'm watching the World Champion Boston Red Sox play." (And I did.)

The 'C'
"My name's Jason, I'm the captain of the team, I've got a ring, and I'm rockin' one leg..."

Sell the kids for food
Kurt Cobain's back and he's pitching (righty) for the Sox!

DIY shirts are the best kind
I don't know this woman. The bottom line reads "You did!" Not "OU did!"

So...Fatboy really came through, huh? I was pissed at him. I was calling him names out there in the bleachers. But then, today, on the radio, I heard a clip of Torre complimenting the Unit, saying, "He was a machine out there." And I thought, I may not be the president of Boomer's fanclub, but he's definitely the opposite of a machine, and those are the kind I want on my side. So despite what I said to Chan at the Stadium last night about "I won't be happy until he wins at least eight in a row," I will be rooting for David. He just needs to, you know, not balk in runs.

After Edgar made that nice play on the force out where he went to his right, I bragged to Chan (a yankee fan, by the way) how great Chopper was. That seemed to have jinxed him, and he botched balls repeatedly after that. Although the yankee Staduim scorekeeper was pretty stingy about giving out errors.

I noticed something about the flags, the ones that are in order of the standings. The order went New York, Boston, Baltimore, Tampa Bay, Toronto. So I guess when everyone's zero and zero, they put themselves first, then, surprisingly, the Red Sox, and then they go alphabetically after that. Maybe they just did it so cameras could get a shot of the NY and Boston flags side by side.

Lots of Sox fans as usual, but I do think George's "no groups for Sox games" plan worked a little. I really couldn't tell, being in the bleachers, and not being allowed to go anywhere else. (Good to keep the animals in their cage, I guess.) But I was thinking, maybe George could just start not allowing other teams in. Then the yanks could just play each other, and win every game. Cool how a huge section of Sox fans over in the left field lower deck made themselves known, even though the Sox were losing by a lot at that point

I liked how a lot of people took their kids home after Jeter's last at bat. Because it just showed how much these people care about A-Rod. Ha! "Best player in baseball," and all his home fans head for the exits as he's coming up.

We stayed til the bitter end. Cold as an emmer-effer. Seriously. The rain mostly held off, but still, I almost didn't make it. Was humorous when someone behind me said, in complete seriousness, "yanks won't blow this."

And hey Tino, they LOVE you. Enough to give you a standing ovation, just like they did for the admitted steroid user.

Same old Stadium, same old yankee fans. Only now, their insults are based on assumption, not fact. And talk about short memories. You just gotta smile at 'em, though, because they know. They fucking know.

Turns out it wasn't the winning after all: They were arrogant pricks to begin with.

Sunday, April 03, 2005


[Edit 4/4/06: Updated version from April 2006 here.]

It's midnight. April 3rd is here.

For the faction out there that doesn't care about baseball at all until the season actually starts, and are coming back to this blog for the first time since October, or are new to it, here's a summary:

I'm a dude named Jere, turning 30 years old this year. My day job is "proofreader," but I am really a rogue artist, making whatever form of DIY art I choose to make on any given day (when I'm not sitting around on my lazy butt), and having more fun than a millionaire could ever have on a proofreader's salary. I mean hourly rate.

I live in Western Connecticut. Born here.

I've listened to and rooted for the Boston Red Sox on radio my whole life, while watching and rooting against the New York yankees (whose name I never capitalize.) This is beacause I'm in what's considered "The New York Area," aka "The Tri-State Area," and I've never been able to get New England Sports Network, despite having always lived in New England. But since my parents, both lifelong Sox fans, moved to the New Haven area, I can go there to watch the Red Sox.

As a result of this area never getting to see the fun-lovin' World Champion Red Sox, all the casual baseball fans are decked out in shiny new yankee gear, (or Mets when they're doing better than the yanks) making me want to vomit every time I step outside. I see more Red Sox fans in New York City than I do around here.

I'm not your average baseball fan as I am a liberal and a feminist who doesn't drink, doesn't eat meat, and doesn't treat women and minorities like crap.

I used to go to Fenway a few times a year, a number which has gone up of late, as I am now a 10th-Person Plan subscriber. I see a game or two at yankee Stadium yearly, except for 1997, as I was so disgusted after the yanks won the for the first time in my life (that I was fully conscious of). When I go, I always wear my Red Sox gear. I've also seen, or will see this year, the Red Sox play in Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Cleveland, Cooperstown, Toronto, Chicago, and Kansas City.

I write a lot about:

1. The Red Sox from the point of view of an eternal optimist who is frequently sad and cynical anyway, is suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, professional crastination disease, and what has to be some form of autism, and likes to joke around, at least until the next mood swing.

2. and how he/they attempt to speak for all Red Sox fans, while usually having the opposite opinion of me (and stating it like it's fact.)

3. Michael Kay, yankee radio announcer and talk show host, and how he's the most arrogant, disgusting, pure-evil filled ego-maniac of all time, and how, in my opinion, should die. (And other sports media.)

4. My divine hatred of the yankees, including its players, past and present, announcers, management, and scum-sucking owner.

5. The habits of bandwagoning yankee fans in the wild.

6. Stuff I see/rip off from other blogs. See links section.

7. Bands and musicians I see perform. And any movies I see, and the very few TV shows I watch.

8. Left-wing politics, but not enough as I should. Once I get a really big fan base, then I'll get to the brainwashing.

9. Pop culture things that no one remembers or cares about except me.

10. Movies that have Bill Murray in them.

Wacky neighbors: Pat, who shares the 10-Game Plan with me; Chan, who is Chan.

I don't plan on ever having any ads on my site, except for the one text link that blogger makes you put up. I do this for fun.

Thanks for reading.

2005 starts today. Let's go Red Sox.......................

[Edit 5/5/05: This is all still true, except that I now live in New York City, home of the biggest chokers in the history of baseball]


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