Saturday, March 26, 2005

The Visual Era Now In Full Swing

The mid-80s rule

Me and dad stranded at sea circa '86. Since I was talking Ghostbusters and Red Sox, I thought I'd post this. Also, now that I've decided (figured out how) to post pictures here, well, I'll be doing that a lot. I have a lot of cool pictures. I can't promise that the Ghostbusters logo will appear in every one, but sometimes.

Also, tell your yankee fan and USA Today-reading fans that they can read my site now.

About this picture: We were on Long Island Sound, off the coast of Old Saybrook, CT. On the left side, on the horizon, is what appears to be a plume of smoke. It kind of looks like the Statue of Liberty. So I like to imagine we're on the Hudson River, off the tip of Manhattan. Try it. It's fun. Not as much fun as I was having that day, though, as you can tell by the look of absolute excitement on my face. Also, I don't know what that splotch is under my eye. It could be sunlight, but I think it's just a spot on the negative.

I like this shot. A lazy summer day in a boat (being rowed by dad while you do nothing), the Sox, Ghostbusters. What more could a kid want?

Be In A Sox Movie

I was asked by some filmmakers to post this. (I'm not taking any money for this in any way, and I have nothing to do with this film.) But I'm gonna send my story in. You can, too:

"Hey Red Sox Fans, what's your story? We're doing a documentary about
Red Sox Fans, and we want you to tell us what you personally did to
help "break the curse"! Where were you physically and emotionally at
key moments during the ALCS and World Series. We are a team of
independent filmmakers who want to preserve the stories we've heard and
archive them for fans everywhere. Contact us with your story at, including as much detail and color as you can re-live, for your chance to interviewed on camera and become part of baseball history."

Kids Love Coco Crisp

honey, I blew up the kid

The 'Crassies And The NoPros

My name is Jere and I'm a Procrastinator.

Having lived with Non-Procrastinators (NoPros) in various situations (parents, siblings, girlfriends) thoughout my life, I have been able to study this rare breed. And I have figured out that they need serious help in dealing with us--the 'Crassies. (I use that nickname for us because in invokes "craziness," which is how they see us anyway.)

So, NoPros, I give you:

Tips on dealing with 'Crassies.

1. Trust that we're gonna get things done. Our disease makes us wait until the last minute to do something. You seem to think we just "won't do it." We will do it, we just take longer than you would take.

2. Give us a deadline. If you just say "Wash those dishes," we'll plan on doing them at some point. But with no set deadline, they may take a long time to get done. We'll wait until one minute before the end of time to do it--if there's no set deadline. Here's where you NoPros drop the ball: If you want it done sooner, move the deadline up. Duh.

3. Give us warning. I know, this goes against tip number two a little bit. But when you give the deadline, don't make it too soon. We need warning. It's a delicate balance. Feel out your 'Crassy, figure a good amount of time to use on them.

4. Stop enabling us. If you continue to do our work for us, we'll only start to think we don't ever need to do these crazy tasks you come up with for us to do. (Cleaning shit, doin' stuff, etc.) Remember: Just wait, and we will get it done. Deadline approaching and job still not done? Nervous? Don't be. Just relax, we do our best work under pressure. Rest assured the work will be done by the dealine, which you should have (clearly) given. Or shortly thereafter.

Hope that helps.

I think my ten year old niece has the 'Crassy gene. The other day, her science project was due. She started the night before, got up at 5 am on the due date, changed her topic, started from scratch, and finished up. Granted, it took her til 11 am, and my sister had to drive her in to school late. But what's a couple of hours? That doesn't count as late! The point is that she did it. You know some kids in that class just didn't do anything.

Friday, March 25, 2005

"Hey, Kevin." "Ya, Moose?"

Trot in the two hole (against righties). Nice. I tried to tell 'em. (On Nov. 3rd) Good call, Stankonia.

I wrote a few days ago about that thing I saw on telling Sox fans to see the team in Toronto. It also had a link to the Jays' site. Now they've gone one step further. You can now just enter your name and credit card and get a ticket to all three games of the Opening Series in Toronto. That's crazy. Is this the first time a team ever allowed you to buy tickets through them to another team's park?

It definitely makes it easier for us. If I hadn't gone to Toronto last year I'd probably be doing this. And without even having to go to You do have to be an RSN barcode-on-back-of-neck member, though, as I am. (By the way, I'm still waiting for my actual card, as well as my Wanda fan club card.) I guess when they asked those laid-back Canadians if this was okay, they said, "You wanna give us more business? No complaints there." (Feel free to add an "eh" or two in your own mind while reading the Canadian voice, but I'm not gona be so obvious.)


The new commemorative logo is now up on, where the old, pre-made, not-that-cool logo had been. That's another reason why I like this new logo: It was made after we won, while the official World Series Champions 04 logo was already made, ready to have the eventual champion's logo attached to it. However, there is a yankees version of the new logo. Check it out!

So I guess the Dirt Dog got so frustrated with all of his recent incorrect predictions that he's going the safe route and predicting the past. He tells us that the new ownership planned to stay at Fenway all along. Congratulations, DD, you finally nailed one.

Am I the only one who does this---You go to, hoping that just seconds before, the team put some more Opening Day tickets on sale. So you click "schedule," then click "April," only to be disappointed for the fifth time that day, because the little "T" for tickets still isn't there. But you take your little arrow thing, put it on the April 11th square, right where the "T" would be, conjure up all the magic ticket spirits in the room, and click the empty space(!)... only to realize that you're a complete idiot?

Well it's not being any dumber than somebody named Paul was being when he e-mailed me this:

"I'm looking for a good trans_universal transportation unit. Do you have the Mccoy self generating g series watch or similar newer models available?
I also need other items you may or may not have available. Please send a (separate) email to me and let me know your terms on doing business.

Thank you

I checked, and wouldn't you know it, I'm fresh out of trans_universal transportation units. Well, good ones, that is. And there's a newer model of the self generating watch?! (the h series, I assume) Where the hell have I been?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

A Picture Is Worth $19.99


Looks like I'll be getting a (-nother) new T-shirt. This is the new commemorative logo the Sox will be wearing on a patch on their uniforms. According to the site, they'll wear them "before the Opening Day game." (Then straight to auction, I guess?) These special unis also have GOLD outline around the letters and numbers. I guess that's to reaffirm just how GOLD winning the World Series is.

But about that logo, it reminds me of the Ghostbusters logo. I don't know why it would any more than the regular Red Sox logo does, but it just does. Maybe it's all that white, and the '84 ringer style. Or maybe taking away the baseball seams from behind the red socks does it.

Speaking of gold, I scored my first ever trip to baseball heaven today, aka Monster Seats. Standing Room was all that was available by the time I got through, but that's gold enough for me.

So Pat and I will be attending every Sox home Saturday game from June 15th through August 27th. It's all going according to the pipe dream. Except, of course, the Holy Grail of Opening Day tix still elude me.

But stranger things have happened. And very recently...

(Bullshit Memorial beat me to this post, almost in its entirety. But you gotta stick to your original vision, so...all right, let me make this post uniquely my own: Rich Gedman. He wore number 10. He was a catcher.)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I Weigh In On A Worn Out Topic

Why do you want Barry Bonds to retire? Because he cheated at baseball? Or because you don't like him?

Why is it cool to be on the media's side all of a sudden? I say screw 'em both. Bonds because he cheated whether I like him or not; and the media because they really do mess with people and get involved in their personal lives, all the while controlling what the public thinks by showing us or not showing us whatever they want.

I saw a poll that said most people A. want Bonds to retire, and B. feel that the media has treated him fairly.

My first thought after seeing that was, why only Bonds? Why not Jason Giambi, an admitted steroid user? Because he's white? Because he signed fucking autographs for all the elderly white people and their hateful grandchildren in Tampa this spring (like baseball players are supposed to do)?

Is it because Barry's close to breaking the home run record? No offense to Hank Aaron, but Giambi's homers that cost the Red Sox a shot at the '03 World Series are a bigger issue to me than Bonds's 756th. Tell me "Fuck all the cheaters," or say nothing at all about it.

And my next thought was: These polls are answered by people whose knowledge of the situation comes completely from the media. How can I take seriously anyone's opinion about the media, when the question they're answering comes from the media and the results are provided to me by the media?

In fact, had the media not brought it up in the first place, would anyone seriously be saying, "I feel Barry Bonds should retire"? I don't think so. Has anyone ever said that about an athlete before? That they "feel" the person should quit simply because "We just don't want him around no more!"? That's total bullshit in my opinion.

Where's the poll that asks "Do you feel George Steinbrenner should go fuck himself?" It would be an 85% "hell, yes" rate, but a poll question with two choices isn't exactly a grassroots effort. And even if it was, you can't make someone go fuck himself, and you can't make someone retire.

It's so hypocritical of all these supposed freedom-loving Americans to say that "they feel" someone else shouldn't have the freedom to continue doing their job. I dare you to go up to some construction worker and tell him that you "feel" he should quit.

And when Bonds says to the media, "You've succeeded at bringing me down," well isn't he exactly right--proven so by the fact that most of the nation wants him to go away (i.e. wants to bring him down)?

This is a slightly different issue, but, a lot of people say that doing steroids can't be considered cheating because they weren't against baseball rules at the time. To this I say: Did you ever see the Bugs Bunny episode where Bugs puts an elephant on the mound, and the other team complains, and Bugs claims that there's "nothing in the rulebook that says an elephant can't play baseball"? Well it's the same concept. There's no mention of the internet in the Constitution, either, because it didn't exist when the thing was written. Using Jere's Super Hitting Device TM should be allowed because there's nothing in the rulebook that specifically says it's not allowed in league play, right?

Anyway, I'm full of crap because I'm a Bill Lee fan, and that dude was using every substance known to person on the ball. But at least he was creative, and cheated on the side of the proverbial little guy, and wasn't just a muscle dude injecting himself to be even bigger and stronger. That's my justification. I'm gonna go ahead and stick with that.

I just saw a hilarious hilight on the local news. In today's game, Johnny Damon ran after a ball in center field, and after throwing it in, he started walking around like a zombie with one leg totally stiff. Turns out he just cramped up. Then they showed a close up of his face as he's walking to the dugout, laughing his ass off for having to leave the game and for having to walk like a freak.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

My First Trip To Dreamland

Today, thanks to my official Red Sox Nation membership, which Dirt Dog told me not to get, I bought some Right Field Roof Deck tickets. I couldn't bring myself to get a hundred-dollars-per-seat table, instead going with the 25 dollar standing room seats. I mean, uh, places on the floor. I mean the roof.

As I've said before, years ago I used to have dreams of being up on that roof, looking out over Fenway. In only a few months, my dreams will come true. Except for the part where I start to fly over Fenway.

I should thank Dirt Dog, I guess. He really brainwashed a lot of people into not getting the card because of its name--giving me (and him, I'm quite sure) a better chance to get all the tickets and whatnot.

Thursday I go for my first shot at Monster Seats.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Flintstones Fun Map

I saw a commercial on TV for Fever Pitch. I noticed a shot of Mike Myers (the baseball player) pitching. It was a lefty submariner so I knew it was him. I've decided I will see that movie. Just seeing Fenway footage will be cool. And I already know it's based on a good story. And I am a Jimmy Fallon fan. Even though people say he's A. Not funny, and B. a yankee fan.

I think he's C. Funny, and D. a Red Sox fan.

My mom said she saw an interview with him (pre-'04) where he said he had been a casual yankee fan, but after witnessing the crazy Sox fandom of Seth Myers and some other cast/crew of SNL, he bought into it and became a Sox fan. To me, anybody who could just continue to like the champion (at the time), but instead is drawn to the team who hadn't won in over 80 years and decides to root for them is okay in my flipbook. And Barrymore, well, I guess she's okay, too, if only for doing a Red Sox related movie. (Note: Again, this Fallon info came from my mom, so blame her if it's wrong.)

Even if he wasn't a Sox fan, I always thought the Sox fan skit was good, and it seemed to me to be an affectionate jab at Sully-types. You know, you rotary-drivin,' Cumby's-shoppin' people. Sorry. When he wore the Nomar T-shirt under his suit at a fancy restaurant, that just cracked me up. And same with his A-Rod/Jeter jokes on Weekend Update. But I'm easily amused. When I want to be.

From The Simpsons last night: Lisa and Bart are trying to drive a motor home back to the dealership because it's causing problems between Homer and Marge. They find a map in the vehicle. It turns out to be only a "Flintstones Fun Map." But wait, Lisa notices that Homer has written something on it, and hopes it might be directions to the dealership. She reads Homer's note to himself: "Dino short for dinosaur? Remember to ask Jeeves."

And on AD, they played "The Final Countdown" once again. Third time, I think. Gold. I was worried that David Cross's character was being written out of the show, since his wife kicked him out. But he came back in Mrs. Doubtfire-form.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The Monster And The Alkie

Everybody knows it now--the true Radatz vs. Mantle strikeout stats are a little (a lot)off from what the media's been reporting. The original AP article quoted Bill Lee's daughter (Radatz's god-daughter) as saying Dick struck out the Mick 54 times in 67 at bats. had that, too, but then they "corrected" themselves, saying that the correct number, according to the Red Sox, was 44 out of 63.

Which, like their first guess, is way, way, way off.

The Buckley article from the Herald said it was 47 out of 63.

Don Orsillo, on the air yesterday, said the number was 44 out of 67.

Joe Beningo on the FAN said it was something like 49 K's.

Supposedly, Joe Castiglione also reported (one of) the erroneous stat(s) on the air, too.

On the message boards, I found out that the guy who runs counted it up, and came up with 12 out of 16. (He had done this years ago, after Mantle himself started what we now know is a myth, saying he'd struck out forty-something times against Radatz.)

I went to retrosheet to check this out. The years the two played together in were 1962-1967. And Radatz only pitched in 3 AL games in '67--none against the yanks. So there were five years when they faced each other: '62, '63, '64, '65, and '66.

Retrosheet has the boxscores and play-by-play of all the games for '63, '65, and '66. In those three years, I found zero strikeouts for Mantle vs. Radatz in '63, two in '65, and one in '66, while Dick was on the Indians.

As for '62 and '64, I guess the boxscores and play-by-plays are not available. But even the 12 out of 16 number seems high, considering when I base the number on the three years I did have info for, I still come up with 1 K per year, for a total of 5 all-time.

However, one of the years I did have info for was a very short season for Mantle--65 games. But compare his numbers from '65, when he had two K's versus Radatz, to '62, a year we don't have info for, and you'll see that his games played and strikeouts are nearly identical. But Radatz did have more K's in '62 than he did in '65, and way more K's in the other "mystery" year of '64.

So I guess we just have to believe that Mantle struck out a total of nine times against Radatz in '62 and '64, giving us a total of twelve K's. Goes against the percentages, but you gotta figure there was a stretch at some point where a bunch of K's occurred in a short time for Mantle to have even brought up how often he K'd against Radatz.

I'm just wondering where the retrosheet guy got his info from. If he has the info from those years, why isn't it up on his site? Maybe I'm just not seeing it.

I also was thinking that if Bill Lee is involved, maybe there's a hoax going on here. You know that even if he knows those numbers are way off, he's gonna tell 'em to stupid reporters just to mess with them. In fact, he probably gave different numbers to each reporter that called him looking for a quote about the Monster.

It was cool to go through all those games from the sixties. I was amazed to see how Radatz seemed to come in and pitch in almost every game against the yanks.

Something else I learned from retrosheet I thought was funny: Did you know the Sox once traded Chuck Schilling and Russ Nixon together? Well, they did. The guy they got back?

Sebastian Varitek.

Actually, it was Dick Stigman.

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