From USA Today:
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When Gonzaga coach Mark Few once encouraged his players to consider attending church, Morrison wrote on a dryboard, "Religion is the opiate of the masses."
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Surely you've all heard of Adam Morrison, the mustachioed freak-of-nature that is the star of the Gonzaga Bulldogs basketball team. I'd just like to say I'm on board with him and his crazy squad as March Madness approaches.

Ever since I heard about this team winning a triple overtime game around Thanksgiving, I've been keeping a semi-eye on them. And they've pretty much won every game the whole season, except for three.

The weird thing is, they're so highly ranked, and such a trendy pick, they're the exactly the kind of team I should be rooting against. But, like I said, it's too late. I'm all in. At least they're not number one in the nation. But they might end up being a one seed in the tourney. I hope not. Either way, I always pick them to go far in the tournament, and, I have to be honest, it's because they have a "z" in their name. And, up until the last few years, they were always a really low seed.

It's funny about Morrison, too. I had a feeling that once I looked deeper into the dude, I'd find something about him I could relate to. Then again, what article about a celebrity is going to play up how average and boring they are? But I didn't think I'd see the word "communism" in an article about him. That's cool. Communism: It's like capitalism without all the rudeness. But let's not get into that. I'm not in the mood.

The dude also has diabetes, which makes me feel for him. And he shoots from freakin' half court went he wants to. ZagNutty, man.

The knuckleball claims another victim.

Now it's between Huckaby and Bard. I'm rooting for Huckaby because Jeter hates him.

Sox lead O's 5-2. Papi has homered for the powerful DR squad.

Tonight, the Mets were at Fenway to take on the first place Red Sox. It was a perfect night for a celebration of a team that never really got its due: The 1986 American League Champion Boston Red Sox. Twenty years ago, this ballclub came within one strike of becoming World Champs. Tonight, they were back, to face the now much more forgiving Nation.

In a pre-game ceremony, the '86 squad gathered in the dugout, anxiously awaiting their chance to right what went wrong. As each player was introduced, he ran out to his old position. The crowd went wild for Rice and Evans as they trotted to their outfield positions. The pitching staff gathered around the mound. Oil Can Boyd sprinted out and took the victory lap he never got to make, high-fiving the Boston fans.

Gedman, Boggs, Barrett, and Spike Owen took their places around the infield to the cheers of the crowd. There were only two left, and everyone knew who they were.

Bob Stanley gritted his teeth and headed for the rubber, and tears came to his eyes as he was given a standing ovation.

The crowd then started to murmur. Was Bill Buckner in the house? If he was, did he have it in him to take the field?

He was, and he did. Billy Buck limped out of the dugout, to one of the loudest ovations in recent memory. He took his spot at first base.

That's when the fun started.

From out of the visiting dugout, a man in a Mookie Wilson jersey emerged. It wasn't Mookie, that was for sure. Current Sox reliever and 2004 World Series hero Keith Foulke had dressed as Wilson, and stepped into the left-handed batter's box.

The scoreboard set the scene: 10th inning. Red Sox up by one. Two outs. Two strikes.

Stanley deals. It's low and inside on purpose. Rich Gedman puts his whole body out in front of the ball, and blocks it. No wild pitch. Manny Ramirez, in Kevin Mitchell uniform, stays put at third, as does David Ortiz, doing his best Ray Knight impression, at first.

Now the Fenway crowd is on it's feet.

Steamer throws another pitch. Foulke swings, and promptly chops it back toward Big Foot. Stanley stabs it, runs halfway to Buckner, and pitches it underhanded...

Bill Buckner kept the ball. The team didn't even ask for it back.

And then everyone complained that Larry Lucchino did this just to make money.

(Note: Roger Clemens does not exist in this fantasy.)



What have we learned, people? That's right. The 1986 team needs to be honored in this the twentieth year since it's magic, tragic season.

Since this probably isn't going to happen, at least not in the way I described, I am offering up a Red Sox-Mets ticket for trade. While ordering tickets by phone a few weeks ago, I had another game to buy to reach my two-game maximum. I checked all the weekend games, but there were only singles available. I grabbed a single to the Mets game on Tuesday, June 27th, 2006. (I knew I wasn't going to the Mets series, anyway, since it's a mid-week, unless maybe I'd been able to get two.) So, this ticket is my Andy Marte. I'm looking for two tickets to any weekend game at Fenway. For these, you get one Mets-Sox ticket, infield grandstand, section 15, about halfway up the grandstand. Ticket is NOT marked obstructed view. Email me with your offer. Two2067@aol.com. Tickets to these Mets games are going for, like, 200 bucks, so don't be offerin' up any Devil Rays upper bleacher action. Actually, whatever, make me an offer. I'd also take two Sox-Dunbar at Dunbar Stadium to any of those games. Or, maybe a nice lunch with David Ortiz. Whatever you've got.

[Edit: Kirby Puckett has died. That is so weird to say. He was such a mainstay of baseball throughout my childhood. RIP Kirby.]

Over another major league team. Beckett gave up two dongs, but Dustan "The Wind" Mohr went deep.

Is this a psychological experiment being done on me?

A sign posted at Mr. Dunbar's Legends Field in Tampa (from the New York Daily News):


The sign mispelled Yankees as "Yankess" and read: "Thank you for expressing your concerns. We are sorry that certain players will not be present for portions of spring training. These players have elected to participate in the World Baseball Classic. The World Baseball Classic is an event sanctioned by the commissioner of Major League Baseball and the Major League Baseball Players Association. The New York Yankess did not vote to support this event. Any comments you have regarding the World Baseball Classic should be directed to the commissioner of Major League Baseball or the Major League Baseball Players Association."


I just can't decide what the most ridiculous thing about this is.

Is it the fact that they misspell their own team's name? (In classic Dunbar-style, I might add. Do you think they had one of their fans write this up? How sweet would it have been if they had made the "your"/"you're" mistake?) Hey, wasn't I just talking about the benefit of having just one person give things a quick once-over before they go public. Could George not afford this?

Or the fact that they're basically telling their own stars that they are disappointed with them?

Or, this: If you read the first line of the sign ("Thank you for expressing your concerns."), the implication is that Dunbar fans have actually been complaining to the team that their favorite players won't be there. As if they had no idea this was going to happen.

Note that the Daily News gave them the benefit of the doubt and de-capitalized "commissioner" in their transcript. (But misspelled the word "misspelled," ironically enough.)

Also, this made me wonder about the name "Major League Baseball Players Association." Shouldn't it have an apostrophe after "Players"? I went to their site, and not only do they not use an apostrophe, but they don't use it in their tag line, where it's definitely needed: "The players choice on the web."

From redsox.com:

"I'm just looking at the situation we have here, I think we're a better team this year than we were last year," said [David] Wells, who won 15 games for the Red Sox in 2005. "If you're going to go out on top, you might as well do it with a team you feel good with."

Can you be any less enthusiatic, David? "Might as well"? Not the words you want to hear from one of your starting pitchers going into the season. In fact, I'm going to call him "Mightas" Wells from now on. I'm surprised he didn't say "I will play, albeit reluctantly, for the Boston Red Sox in 2006." Was he in a recliner when he said this stuff? Did he even have pants on at the time? Why are we always trying to trade Manny when he says he wants one, but we couldn't get rid of fat boy? Now we're stuck with him. At least I've got a year of "getting used to" him at this point.

Has anyone used "Pokey being poky" yet? Apparently, Reese has been cut from the Marlins for not showing up. But he is okay, and apparently it had to do with family issues. Pokey's had a lot of bad luck in his family life. Hopefully things will work out for him. If he does retire, the Red Sox should definitely give him a lifetime contract doing something for the organization. Let him phone it in if he wants.

I got to see some of the Saturday game up in NESN territory. Was sweet, let me tell you. Good to see familiar faces and hear familiar voices.

Did you know that there was a "second-chance" drawing for Monster Seats today? I only did because I was selected for it. And I nabbed some for the last game of the year. Standing room, as I just can't be spending $130 for a seat I'll end up sitting in anyway if somebody doesn't show up, or if some baby pukes, and its whole family has to go home. So I spend the $25 and take my chances. Ba-by puke! Ba-by puke!

Schilling's pitching today against the Boston College Intramural Soccer team or whatever. The good news is, according to the box score, the most he could have given up through four is 0 runs on 1 hit. But I'm sure he's already out of the game. Also, Kevin Youkilis has been up for like fifteen minutes, and the Sox lead 2-0, and that's all I can figure out from the mlb.com scoreboard. [Update to the update: Schill did go the full four, and now it's 6-0 us. Now batting for BC: the Dean of Admissions, Cookie O'Puss.]

Mr. Dunbar just gave up a couple dongs in the third against Philly. Either Jaret Wright or Jorge De Paula was guilty. Or maybe one each. They're down 4-2.

["Serious" writing update: Wow. Sitting at work, trying to follow a Red Sox game on the computer. My mind is suddenly overflowing with visions of being outside at night in short sleeves. I'm going to get a rude awakening when I step outside later. But, for now, in my cube, it's July, around dusk, and I am walking through the city, in shorts. Chan complaining about how it's too hot in my left ear, and Chan complaining how baseball games are too long in my right. But I am feeling utter bliss, ice cream melting down my hand, sweat dripping from under my hat, as the game moves into its third hour. Let's play two. Chan, I'll tell you the score later. And you still won't care.]

Tony Pena is the yanks' first base coach. I can't believe that. I'm very disappointed in Tony.

They just showed how Posada's average drops about 10 points every year and mentioned that he's not getting any younger. That makes me smile.

I've been avoiding my old friend Michael "Backwards" Kay's radio show for most of the offseason. To hear him on TV now is just nauseating. He's already in mid-season form. Good for a player, but not for an announcer, as the last thing you want to hear during a game on March 2nd is a guy screaming his head off because Bernie Williams scored on a single.

Jeter just looked old, tired, and weak on a strikeout. A sign of things to come, we hope.

So many shots of Damon in pinstripes. I'm switching over to Superman. I'll tune in later for that Myers inning.

It's been almost five months since I heard those words. How sweet they are, even after an exhibition game.

The comical line of the day:

Mike Myers
IP: 1, H: 4, ER: 3. Blown Save. Loss.

A bright start.

Tonight it's Diminutive Papi starting for the Sox. Yes, in an actual baseball game! I'll be watching the yanks' replay on HN, to see my first baseball of 2006.

Hey, also, if an audio post appears at some point on my blog, the corresponding line will be: "Name the movie and the character." I'm trying to do an audio quiz, but apparently it's lost in the ether. It could pop up at any time. Thank you.

First of all, my new profile pic is of "the twins," Fenway Park's most intriguing ticket-takers. Check them out next time you enter at Gate A. (Or the gate at the other end of Yawkey Way. Sometimes they'll switch it up on ya.) Me and Pat will often try to enter the park so that each of us has our ticket scanned by a different twin.

Tonight, I was out "a-huntin' for chick bloggers," at the "press screening" of the forthcoming movie Game 6 down at 48th and 7th. I bagged one named Rebecca. Here she thinks she's getting away:


But I'm an expert hunter. I hunt them down "all over the city," remember. I caught her. I'm no slouch*:


After I said, "I'm Jere...I'm a blogger, too," she told me that I was "A F'EN Loser!!!" Then she sat next to me at the movie.

I also made another big score when I successfully hunted down dude blogger Brooklyn Sox Fan at the same event. It was good to talk with him, he definitely knows his Sox.

Game 6 is what it is, and doesn't try to be more than that. Keaton does what he can with the lead role. But that role is just another Sox fan who "loves to lose." I don't get it. To me, despite what Michael Kay thinks, it's not that we loved losing, it's that we loved (and still love) the Red Sox despite their losing. That's the special thing about us and Cubs and White Sox fans. That we did what Dunbar fans could never do: Deal with long periods of losing. How many Dunbar fans simply switch to the Mets when necessary? And that's after only a couple of years of losing. And again, I'm not saying all, but a lot. Which takes me back to Game 6. Brooklyn Sox Fan and I agreed that this movie would have been better had the game it was centered around was the Bucky Fucking Dent game. There was something so odd about that whole '86 Series, where the opponent was the New York team that we didn't mind in the first place. Dunbar fans didn't know what to do. My yankee-fan friend Mike always said he rooted for the Red Sox in that series, because the Mets had taken over New York, and therefore become an enemy of Mr. Dunbar. But the parents of his generation probably gritted their teeth and rooted for the newfangled Mets, becuase they were playing the Red Sox. (Remember, I'm talking about the true yankee fans who didn't just jump on the Mets around August that year.)

So to have made it a real Sox-yanks heartbreaking moment would have been more fitting. In fact, that game wasn't even mentioned, and the yanks themselves were only mentioned a few times. The only specific events in Red Sox history Keaton's character mentions are the "Pesky holds the ball" game, which he seems to dwell on quite a bit (their point was that it was essentially his earliest memory), and also didn't involve the yanks, as well as the final weekend of '49. The Dent game was more of a classic "here we go again" Red Sox moment, which would've worked better with the character. He was a little too depressed going into game six. Even having the play be on the day of game seven might have worked better, because it was only at that point that most Sox fans were in "we know what's gonna happen now"-mode.

The basic plot is that this Sox fan living in New York is dreading going to the opening of his own play, since a psycho critic who ruins careers will be there. But it's also the night of game 6, so he also has the option of watching that instead.

The little catch phrase of the movie is "This could be it." It's a line in his play, but also the theme of the night, of course, as the Sox are one strike away. In fact, Vin Scully says that line, only it's not really him. They had someone overdub the line between actual Scully lines from the NBC telecast. Besides that, though, the technical baseball stuff was all pretty accurate. In fact, my reported Gedman gaffe from the trailer was actually Greenwell (who would soon after become my favorite player). So I was wrong there. Keaton was rightfully reacting to Greenwell's pinch strikeout after Clemens was removed. (Although it did sound like he said "And we've got Davis on the bench." He was probably saying "Baylor.") Hey, they both had that left-handed helicopter swing, both taught by Hriniak, using the Lau method, and in my defense, I was watching a tiny trailer on a computer screen.

Speaking of Gedman, he was in the movie a lot. Getting mentions from Scully, having his uniform in the locker room shown, and of course, shown a lot on replays of the wild pitch.

The movie has a nice little ending. Robert Downey does a pretty good job. I guess. As does Catherine O'Hara, but she seems to be in only one scene. Lilith has as much air time as she does. The 80s-punk daughter is a bigger role than either of them.

See it on DVD.

Also, my blog turned two years old yesterday and I totally forgot. Oh well.


*If you're totally confused about this hunting talk, read the comments on this post. I'm not a hunter. I do not hunt living beings. Only Gedman autograph bargains.