Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Fun Sox Night

Red Sox shut out Braves 4-0 for our third win in a row. The broadcast was really fun, as Manny, Pedro, and Millar were interviewed. Manny and Pedro were great, but Millar was absolutely hilarious, right down to mocking himself for starting a story with two outs. Which lead to them extending him for another half-inning of laughs. On Pedroia: "this guy stopped growing in 4th grade! Theo, is this really your first rounder. Nobody's better than this guy, coast to coast?" On the fatness of his 2004 mates, specifically Trot Nixon: "Have a salad with some lemon wedges." To Steve Lyons: "you sucked just like me." There was more. Try and watch it. And that goes for Kelly and Cyn, too, since they missed the broadcast by being behind right-handed hitters all night till the very end....

I turned the game on just as the '04 ceremony was ending, with Pedro talking about Disney World and Millar saying "play ball," so it worked out perfectly that I missed seeing Damon's stupid-ass face. And if they mentioned his traitorific name once during the broadcast, I missed that, too, so this night really worked out beautifully. I'm so pissed that had a story about the reunion a few weeks back highlighting him, and now I see on there that the current #2 story is some stupid thing where Damon shows you his drumset or some shit, sponsored by Some Company Who Paid Damon The Most Just Like The Yankees Did. I should get a gun implanted into my computer that automatically shoots me in the face should I accidentally click on that video. Stop trying to force me into things, Red Sox! (That goes for Stephen Drew, too. I hate that he's waiting on the horizon to come in and break up our new winning ways with his not-nearly-as-good-as-people-are-saying defense and non-existent-except-for-like-2-weeks offense.)

So good job by the Sox and by NESN tonight, except for when Don thought Psycho Lyons only had two stints with the Red Sox. This is a guy who grew up following the team. Don, you don't remember everybody saying "Psycho IV" all the time?

Something else I forgot to mention: Andrew Miller. Clean shaven. Holy shit. Never would have known that was even him. And he's my favorite player! In fact, I paused it last night, yelled to Kim to come into the room, and asked her who she thought it was. Her only guess was Jason Segel.

Guess what? We're not in last place!

Contest still open. I've been receiving all your entries, I'm just not posting them until the entry period is over. May 31st, end of day.

Damon's stupid-ass face ... his traitorific name

It seems like in this case your hatred for the Yankees trumps your love for the Red Sox. Him going to the MFY is your preferred stance rather than his nail-in-the-coffin HRs of Game 7 (and other wonderfulness, like helping them win a WS for the first time in 86 years).

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Location: Rhode Island, United States