I was on mlb.com the other day and I noticed an ad for a T-shirt company. It showed a young boob-tastic girl wearing a shirt that says "Admit It, You'd go to Jail for This." Okay, then. I can hear the conversation now....

Son: Dad, what does this shirt mean?

Dad: Well, Mel, we all want to bone chicks, right?

Son: Sure!

Dad: Well, sometimes we want to have sex with little underage girls, and that's a perfectly normal feeling. But if we follow through with our urges, even if the bitch...uh, the girl says "yes," we put ourselves at risk for arrest and a potential prison term.

Son: But...it feels so good that...it's worth it?

Dad: You catch on fast, son. Now go out there and do what ya gotta do. High five!


Is there anything else this shirt could mean? They're talking about either rape or statutory rape. And not only is the female wearer of the shirt meant to be saying "it's okay to rape me," but she's not even considering herself a person, only a "this."

This is one of those Google "ad choices" ads, meaning they pop up based on what each user has recently searched. Presumably.* And there's yet another reason why having ads on your site is stupid. You don't know what you're gonna get. I doubt MLB would want this ad for their family-friendly site, but some people are seeing it. You'd think, though, that companies would check the list of companies on the "ad choices" Rolodex before signing up.

I clicked the ad and found out that the company is even lamer than I thought. There are dumb-ass shirts about killing pets and sending Mexicans back to Mexico and stuff like that, and the idiotic text at the bottom of the page includes such gems as:

Do a keg stand with our party t shirts. Beer drinkers, weed smokers and more will find exactly what they're after to show their partying spirit. Doing a keg stand is the way to kick back and relax. No more than a little beer pong can you get the party started.

and

Our funny offensive t shirts come in sizes up to 5xl and don't forget sometime you need to push away from the table. Our anti obama t shirts are among the best and sometime they call us racist but know that everyone love free speech!

and

Fun t shirts can make or break a night out. Getting shirts for a batchelor party is the best party of the trip. Political t shirts can do a tea party rally just and bring home the bacon.

and

Humor makes people laugh and we try to be a great tshirt online store. Remember, if it is inappropriate or just plain damn sexy, we have you shirts! These are some party t shirts and get the groove on when you get nasty!


How bootleg is that? The "buy 3, get SIX free" offer must mean the end is fortunately near for this rag-tag operation.


*(I must have been doing extensive research on rape or shitty-ass T-shirt companies just before this. Actually, I think it's based on cookies and I have them off or something--reloading the page over and over gets me ads on investing, social marketing, TV shows I've never heard of, etc., so it's probably just a random group of ads. In other words, the rape ad could be going out to anybody.)