Friday, December 21, 2012

MLB: Now With More Statutory Rape!

I was on the other day and I noticed an ad for a T-shirt company. It showed a young boob-tastic girl wearing a shirt that says "Admit It, You'd go to Jail for This." Okay, then. I can hear the conversation now....

Son: Dad, what does this shirt mean?

Dad: Well, Mel, we all want to bone chicks, right?

Son: Sure!

Dad: Well, sometimes we want to have sex with little underage girls, and that's a perfectly normal feeling. But if we follow through with our urges, even if the bitch...uh, the girl says "yes," we put ourselves at risk for arrest and a potential prison term.

Son: feels so good's worth it?

Dad: You catch on fast, son. Now go out there and do what ya gotta do. High five!

Is there anything else this shirt could mean? They're talking about either rape or statutory rape. And not only is the female wearer of the shirt meant to be saying "it's okay to rape me," but she's not even considering herself a person, only a "this."

This is one of those Google "ad choices" ads, meaning they pop up based on what each user has recently searched. Presumably.* And there's yet another reason why having ads on your site is stupid. You don't know what you're gonna get. I doubt MLB would want this ad for their family-friendly site, but some people are seeing it. You'd think, though, that companies would check the list of companies on the "ad choices" Rolodex before signing up.

I clicked the ad and found out that the company is even lamer than I thought. There are dumb-ass shirts about killing pets and sending Mexicans back to Mexico and stuff like that, and the idiotic text at the bottom of the page includes such gems as:

Do a keg stand with our party t shirts. Beer drinkers, weed smokers and more will find exactly what they're after to show their partying spirit. Doing a keg stand is the way to kick back and relax. No more than a little beer pong can you get the party started.


Our funny offensive t shirts come in sizes up to 5xl and don't forget sometime you need to push away from the table. Our anti obama t shirts are among the best and sometime they call us racist but know that everyone love free speech!


Fun t shirts can make or break a night out. Getting shirts for a batchelor party is the best party of the trip. Political t shirts can do a tea party rally just and bring home the bacon.


Humor makes people laugh and we try to be a great tshirt online store. Remember, if it is inappropriate or just plain damn sexy, we have you shirts! These are some party t shirts and get the groove on when you get nasty!

How bootleg is that? The "buy 3, get SIX free" offer must mean the end is fortunately near for this rag-tag operation.

*(I must have been doing extensive research on rape or shitty-ass T-shirt companies just before this. Actually, I think it's based on cookies and I have them off or something--reloading the page over and over gets me ads on investing, social marketing, TV shows I've never heard of, etc., so it's probably just a random group of ads. In other words, the rape ad could be going out to anybody.)

Come now Jere, get your mind out of the gutter. When I first saw that shirt, I thought to myself "Wow! That shirt is so incredibly awesome I would gladly go to jail for shoplifting it, just so that it could be mine!" Obviously, the girl isn't referring to herself as an object. It's just that the shirt, with the great red font, and simple blue font is something she knows everyone else would want. I mean, the fact that the model is wearing a shirt so small it can't come close to containing her chest is clearly a simple mix-up. Obviously, she said she was a size small...and they gave her a youth small. Completely understandable.

Haha! I stand corrected...
One step beyond t-shirts declaring the wearer JAILBAIT. As you said, yet another reason having random ads show up on your website is just plain stupid.

Thanks for posting, Jere.
No problem. And thanks for the great howliday card!
Mom here.
I just email-chatted with a Victoria's Secret person. I have children using my computer and I don't think they should immediately see a very young model with her breasts hoisted up and nearly over her underwear. The VS person told me to set my pop-up (no pun intended I'm sure) blocker. I wrote back to tell her that SHE should set HER pop-up blocker so I don't get the VS pop-ups. She said she couldn't do that. So I told her I'd call the Better Business Bureau and see what they suggest. I will let you know what the BBB has to say when I get the chance to do it since as you might guess at this time of year I'm sitting around eating chocolates and reading trash.
Hi There,

I urge everybody who is offended by jokes about statutory rape to contact Google Ads and request that they change their policy to include the protection of girls and women from sexist and demeaning ads. Google Ads currently protects us against "sensitive topic such as racism, sexual orientation and health." Meanwhile, Google Ads appears for products such as this T-shirt and "The Best Rearends in Town" ( cycle through unsuspecting family-oriented websites with impunity - ads that should not be there in the first place.

I just complained to Google Ads about their policy. is the T-Shirt about statutory rape that really sent me over the edge. It popped up on a website devoted to the Scouts movement... along with big-busomed ads for a variety of products. These ads teach young children that girls are to be sexualized at an early age which hinders their nature development.

All the best,

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