Friday, June 19, 2009

Major Chimpage. Buy A Book As Medicine.

Need a late Father's Day gift? Want some beach reading? Check out this book I wrote this one time: Dirty Water: A Red Sox Mystery by Mary-Ann Tirone Smith and Jere Smith.

Dice-K pitched his way into nowhereville tonight. Just chimped out, that's all there is to it. Their dude did a fine job, too, holding us to nothin' wood-wise. Yanks just beat the 'lins. We should be way more than 2 games up. I can't wait till the charade, aka Interleague Chimpage, ends. I heard Selig on the radio today saying how "our fans love it." He called it "interplay" twice before correcting himself. I direct him to this post in which I shatter the oversimplified theory that is "we should do it because people love it."

D-Lowe goes tomorrow! Last time I saw him, it was during the ring ceremony in 2005. I should post more video of that, since I only gave you still frames back in the stone age of four years ago.

I don't even have the slightest idea what 'chimpage' means, but I agree with it anyway. I don't want to see anymore of Dice-K in 2009.

I hope DLowe goes out and gets totally plastered tonight, like he used to back when he pitched for us.
On a happier note...


To: Theo Epstein
From: AJM
re: Jason Bay

I remember when I was living in Boston, my parents had tickets to Lowe's no-hitter. I was 12, and they were debating whether or not to take me; I didn't think they were serious. I snuck out one night when I was grounded and found out they were serious, and if I hadn't done that, I would've gotten to go.

I missed seeing Derek Lowe's no-no three rows back from the Sox dugout because I was hanging out with my idiot friends.
Then I guess you don't wanna hear that I WAS at Lowe's no-hitter. Your seats woulda been way better than mine, though, I was in neck-craning area beyond the Pesky Pole in the right field boxes.

However, when I was a similar age to what you were then, my uncle offered us tickets to Fenway one Tuesday night during the school year. Since we lived 2.5 hours from Fenway, my dad declined the offer. The date was April 29, 1986. (Look it up if you don't know it.)
Major Chimpage and Lieutenant Bananas, the USO's first all-monkey comedy duo, coming to a stage near you.
Yeah, I have to say, missing Clements 20 strikeout gem would be worse than missing a no-no. After all, we've had two no-hitters since Lowe's, but nobody has come close to Clements mark since then.

I won't even make a juice comment here.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States