Nice win tonight. We handled the slumping Jays as we should have. Beckett's now 7-0. I think Dice-K is helping us in an interesting way. I definitely thought Beckett would do better than he did last year, not only because he pretty much had to, but because of the fact that with Dice and Schilling, he'd have to hold up his end to keep from becoming a number 3, when he could be an ace. And he has improved significantly. However, it seems like every other starter is stepping it up, too, and I think it could be for the same reason--to keep up with Dice. All four of our other starters are outpitching Dice-K, which is great for the team. This is one of the many mystical powers Dice brings to Boston. And once he gets on track, we could be mostly anti-stoppable. We'll see if Lester steps it up as well. I think he will. Like Papelbon, the kid's got gonads. (Note: Ovaries and testes are both gonads.)

Yanks bounced back from last night, when Mo gave up the game-winning homer. I didn't get to write about that game until now. Here goes. I missed that game. The Sox had the night off, and my girlfriend and I watched one of the greatest pieces of art of our time, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. After she fell asleep, I watched it again, with the music-only track complete with Danny Elfman's commentary. At that point, I just went to bed, deciding to get the Yanks' score in the morning. Very pre-internet-era, I know. This morning, I opted to find out how they did by checking the standings. I saw we were up 6 games, and a great weight was off my shoulders--I knew they'd lost their post "Traitor-returns announcement" game. So I went to their site for the details. I clicked on this article. Do me a favor. Read that piece of shit, pretending you knew no details from the game at all, like I did. What the hell is that? MLB allows that? Were you as confused as I was about that first paragraph, about the dirt and grass? They should've forced that writer to mention the 50,000 bad calls that have helped the Dunbars win 26 World Series. (Or the balls popping out of opposing outfielders' gloves, as in the game before and after that one.) I went over to the Mariners' site for what really happened: "Shitty Rivera Blows Game. Again."

Which is worse, Abreu being dropped to seventh in the Yanks' order, or "No Dice" Kei Igawa being demoted to single-A? Definitely the latter (Yankee fans: that means "the second one"), but after seeing that shit-eating grin on Abreu's face for the last few months of the '06 season, I love that he's shitting the bed.

More notes from tonight: On A-Rod's homer, the Yes cameras determined, for a record one millionth time, that the audience needed to know, while A-Rod rounded the bases, that Derek Jeter was clapping from the dugout. These are the things that don't show up in the boxscore, and why Jeter is the classiest player of all time, and a first ballot Hall-of-Famer. I don't know how he does it. I really don't. In Little League, when my teammates would succeed, I'd try to celebrate, but 90 percent of the time, my hands would miss each other, often resulting in injury. It's a skill you just can't teach.

When Lugo slid into second in the first inning tonight, Remy claimed that it looked like Julio's spike "got caught up," and he then lunged for the bag. Uh, Jerry? That's called the Patented Marty Barrett "Stop Short and Lunge" Avoidance Technique. You should know this.

Side note: I started talking to my girlfriend about It's Showtime at the Apollo the other day like it was Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Meaning, like a show I figured "everyone" is familiar with. She thought I was crazy. Are all you people who didn't grow up in the New York area not familiar with this show? After SNL? Anybody? I just figured we all were watching that one. Then again, I only recently found out Magic Garden wasn't a national show.

Now back to baseball: I saw a short clip of Scumbucket Clemens doing Letterman's Top Ten last night. The category was "what I learned from baseball." The one I saw Roger read was something like "It doesn't matter whether you win or lose...or at least it didn't when I played in Boston." Maybe if Roger hadn't slinked out of Game 6 with a fake injury, we wouldn't be talking about this... I tried to tell you all he was the worst kind of person. You should've seen the look on his fat face when he read this line. It was almost as disgusting as Suzyn Waldman's existence. What an ass. Now I know I'm commenting on something written by a comedy writer, but Roger was comfortable enough with the line to read it as if it were his own. So, terrible job by him. Such a pre-2004 joke. It's amazing how many Yankee people have actually made the conscious decision to erase 2004 from their memories. Embrace reality, Yankees, it'll help you get through things like the 2007 season. Want another example of Yankee fan "forgetfulness"? I got a comment today on an older post. Here's an excerpt (Yankee fans: that means "portion of"):

the sox are and always will be the number two team in the AL East.

Then he went into some homophobic stuff. You know, I felt so sorry for myself after I read that. He really hit me where it hurts. Someday, someday I tell you, the Red Sox will overcome and finally break this dreaded cur--oh, wait! I forgot about that time, very recently, when the Boston Red Sox were down three games to none to the classy, non-choking New York Yankees, and came all the way back, unlike any team in the history of the game had, and then went on to win the World Series! And I'm supposed to be upset about "number two in the east"? (I love how he claims the current number one team in the AL East is the number two team in the AL East.) I'll take number two in the east with a World Series ring over number one in the east and yet another choke.