Monday, September 19, 2005

Murderous Rage

I'd just like to blame that racist fucking idiot DirtDog once again for running Pedro out of town, causing us to have to watch that fat-head Wells self-destruct and whine and complain and get frustrated and fuck up in September against the Devil Rays.

And someone needs to throw Edgar's possessions out the window down to the street below.

I can't blame Papelbon because Hansen was doing great and should've stayed in the game.

My dad just got the Yes network today for the first time in a couple of years, after having watched the yanks for decades before that, since we lived in Fairfield County. And it's as if Steinbrenner knew this, and tried to refresh my dad's memory. Tonight was the classic horseshit yankee win.

I have a great idea for a zombie-killing-style video game. You're in yankee Stadium, it's a packed house. Their are several different bullcrap yankee wins loaded into the game, so you can maybe choose the team they play. Let's say, for an example everyone can relate to, Jeter gets a cheap-ass, inside out swing bloop hit to right field. You then, naturally, go around with, say, a piece of a metal seat, and just start stabbing yankee-fan zombies, ripping their empty hearts from their chests as they fall to the the pee-stained cement, and go rolling down the upper deck and over the edge, landing on some rich family from Westchester, killing them and their cracker-zombie-spawn.

Then an Orioles first baseman who weighs three hundred pounds forgets to cover first, two four-pitch walks, a hit batter and an error lead to a big yankee inning. You grab a souvenir bat and start knocking the heads off American flag-wavin', shirtless neanderthals who think that not only have the yankees done something great, but that they themselves have, too.

Then, after the fifteenth obviously paid-for strike call is made in favor of the yanks, you locate the celebrity section. You slam Penny Marshall's and Billy Crystal's heads together, and they explode. You do the same with Guiliani and Cheney, who appear at every game in this video game.

Once every fan is dead, you get to go to town on yankee players. I like the idea of making them kill each other. But you can get creative.

Earlier tonight, Chan told me he was afraid of me, and that he thought I might murder him. And I hadn't even told him about this video game idea.

Anyway, it'll all be fine. They'll choke in the end.

Consider that the Yankees were allowed to have a few days off, while The Red Sox have to endure 2 more days of a MLB 30 Game Streak without a Day Off, tells me that MLB, is trying to mess with The Game, for more Advertising $ , so people can watch some Steroid Freak, affect the Game, in Post-Season.
In reading the August & September Schedules, of MLB, the Unprecedented Scheduling of the Red SOX in 30 Consecutive Games, by virtue of a make up game on a day off, to cause this race for post season, to become crazy, was designed by The Whores of Baseball(Bud & Co), to grant an advantage to a Team with Heavy BALCO Connections & a $212M Payroll. BALCO East's Team, played no more than 15 Games, consecutively & had 2 days off, in order to be able to recover, while The Olde Towne Team, had to make trips to the Coast, without a Travel Day.
Baseball Fears EMBARASSING Steinbrenner, hence, The COMissioner's Office, is known as "The WHORES of Baseball", prostituting themselves to Advertisers.
Jere - will the game have a walk-off home run by the light-hitting defensive replacement outfielder with a ridiculous nickname?
I gave my all this morning over at Reb's. I'm done for now. Welcome back Jere. And it wasn't 30 games in 30 days that did in the Sox, although it didn't help.
In the video game, I'd like the chance to kill that jug-eared "God Bless America" guy. And Suzie Steinbrenner...
Oh my god, I forgot about that. That'd be a key part of the game. The seventh inning stretch, where only a few fans are still alive to stand, while your challenge is to get from the upper deck to the field to destroy Tynan in the time it takes him to complete all nine verses of "God Bless Throwing the Opponent's Pitcher Out of Rhythm."

And oh my lord, yes, the announcers' booths would not be off limits in this game. How 'bout it, science?

Yes, I think the Bubba home run is now officially loaded into the game.

Michael--You probably know this, but I agree with everything you're saying.
I'd like to see the part of the game when you hit the VIP box looking for Cheney and Giuliani, and a secret service badass empties the minimal contents of your cranium with his sig sauer.

You guys have got to start worrying....will the Red Sox collapse continue, thus ending the AL East race before the season ending series?
Come on out from behind that mask, anonymous. Let's get a look atcha.

This gives me another idea for the game. You could start tearing at the clothes of yankee fans, uncovering old layers of clothing one by one:

Their Lakers shirt from a few years ago, a Cowboys jersey from '92, right down to their Mets jersey, bought in '86.

Come on, anony, you know you've got 'em all.
Can the hero of the game wear a "Bukkake Matsui" t-shirt? If so, I'll take a dozen.
Bukkake Matsui.. that's funny

There is nothing to worry about with the Yankees... they will not win... they pose no threat..

Keep the faith!

Sox rookies are too good to let us down.. They will dominate the AL East fr the next decade.. I've watched the Portland Seadogs all season.. Delcarmen is lights out.. Hanley is like flippin Furcal.. cannon fr an arm... Pap is the man.. Hansen is the new loser.. Theo's a pimp

Yankees will choke.. but its gonna be a rough ride.. Cowboy Up!!!

that sounds like a great Video Game.. I'd buy a copy fr sure!!
...have you ever thought of, maybe, seeing a therapist?
Have you ever watched the pure evil that is a yankee game?

Anyway, DtheBlu, good call, love to hear optimism. Except I hope Hansen will be the new closer, not loser.
yeh i missed the "c" there.. that's not a freudian slip rr anything

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