Now that I'm the proud owner of a Lost Boys DVD, I'm going to do something I've been meaning to do for more than a decade. I'm going to play "Count the Michaels."

My sister and I have always loved this movie. And at some point in the early nineties, between telling me that Skid Row was "pussy metal" and letting me videotape (?) his baseball card collection, her friend Andy (who I recently ran into at Fenway by random chance) pointed out the fact that "they must say the word 'Michael' a thousand times in that movie."

Well, my guess would be more like a hundred. I'm watching it now, kind of to see what I'm up against, without doing the actual count.

At one point, the vampires chant Michael's name. I think I'll count every single one. I think there are four people chanting, so I'd count each Michael as four Michaels for that part.

Note: Corey Haim's character often refers to Michael as "Mike." "Mike"s and "Mikey"s count. Of course. Maybe I could have the DVD sitting in a jar, and people could look at the jar and write down their guess as to how many Michaels are inside.

"My own brother, a goddamn shit-suckin' vampire! You wait til mom finds out, buddy."