I was psyched to hear a yankee fan call up the FAN today and say that he felt like the yanks can't beat good pitching, and also that he doesn't know how much more of Michael Kay he can take. Welcome to my world, buddy.

In other yankee fan news, here's a great example of how they'll just repeat what they hear from their own media/announcers, thinking that: A. what they're saying is true, and B. they're the ones who came up with it.

On Dirt Dogs, (whose dude still hasn't replied to my letter, except to say he'd reply later), there's an email from a yankee fan, from after Game One of last week's yanks-Sox series. Here it is with my comments in italics. (They were obviously watching on Yes, as I was.)

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Yankee fan rubs it in with:

a) Manny Ramirez hits a fly to center and barely leaves the batter's box. Had Lofton dropped it (like he did against the Mets), Manny could've even been tossed out at first - and this is a close game at the time.

Okay, classic case of yankees' network waiting until Manny runs at anything less than full speed, then showing a close up while the announcers say EXACTLY what this "fan" said, right down to the Lofton reference. Manny ran, he just ran slow because he freakin' popped up. Thrown out at first? Maybe at second. I wonder if NESN even bothered to show this non-issue of a play. Tonight, I put on the yankee game and watched the blessed Derek Jeter loaf down to first--against the Tigers, when no one was watching. The announcers said nothing about it.

b) Derek Jeter beats out the throw from Garciaparra on an error. If Jeter doesn't hustle, Sheffield never hits the 3 run HR to put the game out of reach.

Wait, didn't the ball get away? So even if he didn't hustle, he would've been safe, as Nomar was throwing on the move without even having a chance to see how close the runner was to first.

If Manny ever played under Torre and pulled this kind of thing, he'd find himself on the bench PDQ. One thing Torre does not allow at any time is loafing (and mouthing off, but that's another kettle o'fish.)

More BS. If this was true, the yankees would have no players left on the field. As I said, all the things this person is saying is taken right from the yankee announcers. There was also a play where A-Rod took his sweet time throwing to first and they didn't make a big deal about it.

I find it hard to fault Nomar on those errors, by the way. Those throws are very catchable - Millar nearly fell down on the first throw. If you notice, Rodriguez and Heredia nearly threw balls away, but Tony Clark snagged both of them (chiefly because he's 6'6"). But a first baseman should be able to scoop those throws by Nomar. They were very catchable.

Tony friggin' Clark, man.

Johnny Damon is the first Red Sox centerfielder EVER to hit two HRs at Yankee Stadium

I like how they just threw this in at the end, like, hey, here's some trivia that I KNOW. No, you just heard it on the Yes broadcast. Only, you forgot something. When Kay was spewing this fairly meaningless stat, he then pointed out that Fred Lynn--a Red Sox centerfielder-- did hit two dongs in a game against the yankees on the road, only it was during the renovation of yankee Stadium, so the game was played at Shea. That's right, yankee fans, surely you didn't know this, but your team played it's home games at Shea Stadium in '74 and '75. Backwards Kay quickly then re-stated that Damon is the only one to do it AT YANKEE STADIUM. I'm guessing this fan heard something about Shea and figured Kay meant in a game against the Mets...maybe some World Series that occurred before 1996 that they weren't aware of. My point is, this person got a little brain-washing from Kay and Co., and then tried to pass off all the info they gained as their own. Silly yankee fan. This is what I put up with daily.

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I'm headed up to Fenway tomorrow with Pat. We're gettin' Pedro.

Key blowout win tonight, combined with key Tiger blowout win, and the magic number is down to 89.

I'm also very excited that Castiglione and Trup' asked the audience to "send in your song about the Red Sox." Me and Pat will have a ball with that one.

I could say that I was really busy this holiday weekend, and that would be only a little bit of a stretch, but I have to admit that the real reason I haven't written in almost a week is that that third yankee game rendered me speechless. Considering the previous night's game made me mad enough to play the Thurman Munson card, you can imagine what kind of night it was after game three ended.

That was the type of game where you really could say "Words can't describe..." As a Sox fan, you never get used to those "One strike away" experiences.

I haven't gone on line since that night, and I understand I missed out on some pretty big Nomar trade rumors, that weren't reported on New York sports radio. But then again, I pretty much avoided that for the few days after that game, too. I was pretty miserable.

But I treat that game as a test. If you can still be a Red Sox fan after watching that game, especially if, like me, you had to watch it with yankee announcers desribing (read: lying about) the action, then you are the ultimate fan, and you deserve only the best in life. I think we weeded out a lot of newer fans who maybe tried to jump aboard after last year's run.

The good news, in my opinion, is that even after that night of uttering things like "It never freakin' ends," the Red Sox are far from dead in the water. They--somehow--came back the next night and took the Braves to extra innings. Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd just given up ten runs in the first inning and sleepwalked through the whole series. It turned out to be another heartbreaking loss, but they came back the next day and got a nice win. Then Derek Lowe pitched the next day...

But it appears that the yanks beating us in that series took even more out of them, instead of vaulting them toward a twenty game winning streak, as the Mets surprisingly showed up and amazingly swept the series.

I'm trying to look at it like this:

Usually we have a lead pretty far in to the season, but then they overtake us because they have much better pitching. But this year, I think they jumped ahead too early, so we've got time to come back, and we're the team with the dominant pitching. Well, that's what I'm hoping happens. Derek Lowe isn't helping. But I've gotta believe all these guys start playing up to their potential.

We've got six games before the break--all at home. If we can just gain a game or two, I think I can live with it at that point. There's lots of baseball left to be played. (Don't you hate when people say that? As if some teams might just start challenging their opponents to a game of darts or something?)

Okay, it's about midnight, a few hours since game two ended. I've calmed down just enough to not mention Thurman Munson, in hopes that yankee fans might come across this site. Whoops. I said it. Thurman Munson. I said it again. Okay, so I couldn't resist mentioning the burning catcher. You know, burning with desire, that's how he played. 'Til the very end. Of his life. There I go again, sorry.

I think tonight's debacle would've been a good test for people new to the planet. Like you arrive on earth, you're explained the basics: look both ways before you cross, floss, pee downstream from the village, three strikes and you're out, and then you watch a showing of tonight's baseball game (the YES feed).

You can choose to root for:

A. The team who: Won't move out of the way of a very slow pitch (twice), walks ass-backwards in to runs, never earning any of them, but then cheering as if they did, acting as if THEY somehow made the opponent's glove fall apart on a key ground ball, has fans who cheer so much, not to root on their team, but to make the umpires feel obliged to repeatedly make calls in their favor, has announcers who will constantly show the opposing team in a negative light, even though they are a bunch of fun-loving guys, while they make their own team's players out to be gods, even though they are steroid-taking, shit-talking, soulless motherfuckers bought off by a convicted felon owner, who is also made out to look not only like a saint, but "just a great businessman."

or B. Well, B is us, the Red Sox. I know Terry shouldn't have taken out Wake, and sure we make errors, too many errors, but the point of all this is, how can any decent human being (or alien) root for the New York yankees? Tonight wasn't an anomaly, it was what I've been watching my whole life. My dad coined the term "TYR"--Typical yankee Rally, a long time ago. Walks (usually obtained by trickery, or bad calls), hit batsmen (the kind where you don't move out of the way), errors, bloop hits, home runs that bounce off the top of the wall. It never ends. Tonight was just like a reminder of what the yankees are all about. And to top it all off, I have to hear their announcers bad-mouthing the Red Sox, and just generally acting proud of a team who's done nothing but let the other team beat themselves.

I'm not panicked by any means. I think Pedro is gonna win tomorrow. But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed now.

And where were the mad bombers last night? You've got A-Rod, Jeter, Cheney, Posada, Pataki, Giambi, and Giuliani in one room. You can't let that kind of oppurtunity slip away! You know what, though? If all the yankee players died, and the Red Sox went on to win the World Series, yankee fans would say, "The yankees would've won." Which reminds me, right before the top of the ninth tonight, HELL, NO Network showed a commercial for a show about the '01 World Series. They mentioned how "a mourning town was helped by two magical victories" They forgot to mention that the yankees actually lost the Series.

And finally, what the hell is Michael Kay's problem? Is he really that ignorant about Pedro Martinez, to the point where Pedro does something completely consistent with his non-pitching-day personality, and Kay acts like he's never seen anything like it in his life? I don't know, I think he's just puttin' thoughts into everyone's heads. "Pedro's craaaaazy." And today on his radio show he continued his usual rant about how the Red Sox "griity" image is just made up and makes no sense. He had a caller who said, "Their image is so contrived," and Kay responded, "Great word," just ecstatic that someone called up spewing Kay's own rhetoric right back at him. It's like I witnessed it come full circle. Kay lies and says to New York that the Red Sox "image" is made up, a guy hears it, thinks it's his own idea, (also, he's probably never seen the Red Sox play other than on Yes or Fox), CALLS Kay to tell him, and Kay just sits back, the ultimate megalomaniac masturbating over the airwaves. Talk about contrived.

And of course, there's Kay's take on the Sox' hairstyles: you know what, I don't even need to go into detail here, but the point is, if the yankees looked--physically--like the Sox (if they were allowed), Kay would be lovin' it, saying how it's the key to their chemistry, blah blah blah.

Alright, so when you see a yankee fan tomorrow, don't punch them in the face, as much as I know you want to, just ask 'em who played shortstop before Derek Jeter.

On second thought, just punch 'em in the face.

Tell 'em it's from Thurman.