Saturday, April 12, 2014

Sox Beat CC As Per Usual

Saying "I predicted it" online or anywhere else is about as pointless as describing a dream, but I SWEAR I visualized that Sizemore dong exactly. I mean I was cheering for it before it happened. We'd been getting shutdown by Skinny Oprah, until Jonny Wadd slapped a johnson in the 6th to tie it at one. At that point I was thinking that we just need one big inning. Take a big-ish lead and get this win. Two men got on, and then it was Lil' Grady. And I made it happen with my mind. Three-run job and it was 4-1, and you could turn your sets off there, folks. Actually, you would have missed Koji NOT come into the game. We had to sweat through Mujica, but he made quick work of the Yanks in the 9th to preserve the 4-2 victory.

Then we cut to Tom Caron who went into full media-invented-crisis mode. Why do they pretend like they don't love this stuff? First he said "the Red Sox win but the focus of the next hour will be why Koji didn't enter this game." Then after John Farrell said he wasn't concerned and that it was just shoulder stiffness, TC came right back with "until I SEE HIM ON THE MOUND, I'm gonna be concerned." You could see the glint in his eye, almost as if he was excited to win a bet among colleagues as to who could start the next fake drama. At which point, we all sit there calmly while they panic, but tell us that we're the ones who are panicking.

I'm not saying that your closer not pitching when he's supposed to isn't a big deal, but Jesus, they were showing the guy. He was in the ballpark. He wasn't in a sling. He wasn't on his back. You could tell that whatever it was was minor, then the manager tells us it's minor, and then TC loses his shit over it. Who knows, maybe this minor stiffness is some magic bullet career-ending injury, but let's take it a step at a time, eh?

Some dumbass Yankee fan called the FAN today and said "beyond Pedroia and Ortiz, this Red Sox lineup is weak." He may as well have said, "I've watched exactly ONE Red Sox game and here's what I've surmised." Francesa had to let the guy know about Victorino and "Middlebury" being injured. And nobody mentioned Xander. Meanwhile, Solarte is in Monument Park already. We've got a Timo Perez Syndrome in the making there. It's so funny how any time a young or new-but-poor Yankee does well, you have these callers saying how great it is that the Yanks are this underdog small-market juggernaut, at which point Francesa notes "well they only spent x hundred million dollars in the offseason...."

Q. What's the best part about seeing one of those faux-tough guy drunken "'New Yorker' who's actually from Westport" Yankee fans celebrating in the stands in the "it's manifest destiny that we the Yankees will beat you the Red Sox" style?

A. Knowing that they know which team is the defending world champions, and which one has won a lot of times in the last decade-plus as opposed to one time. If you ever feel like that isn't killing them, simply remember that it is, and your day will brighten by three times.

No one whose team features guys like Dean Anna, Kelly Johnson, and Brian Roberts (and the corpses of Soriano and Ichiro) should make fun of a "weak" lineup? And shouldn't Solarte have more than 38 PAs before we induct him into Cooperstown?
Through 11 games, Boston has scored only 39 runs to New York's impressive total of 40.

I effed up that last comment. The weak Red Sox have 40 runs while the super-awesome Yankees have 39.


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