Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Goddamn Sonofabitch

Bottom 9, tied. Men on first and second. 2-2 count. White Sox dude tries to check his swing. Pitch is in the zone, and he clearly goes around. Home plate ump blows strike call. First-base ump blows appeal call. Now it's 3-2, easy grounder to short, Xander throws a one-hopper to first, Carp can't handle it. Since the runners were going on the pitch, run scores easily before Carp even picks up the ball. Adding insult to injury, both Don and Jerry say it's the White Sox who "walk off" while we're literally watching the Red Sox walking off the field and the White Sox running onto the field, and to add insult to that insult, Xander does that thing where you try to spit, but it stays hanging off your mouth and you're left to wipe if off with your hand, fooling no one.

Shitty, shitty loss. And the only reason Carp was playing first was because Napoli slid head-first into second and basically broke his finger in half. It took Don and Remy a very long time to notice this, as they first thought the ball hit him, and then, after all the viewers have seen Napoli wearing the extreme ouchy face and his finger Theismann'd in the wrong direction, they show yet another replay at which point Don goes, "oh, that's a dislocated finger." I'm reading now that X-rays were negative so hopefully he comes right back. Also, Pedroia pinch-ran in this game, will start tomorrow. Yanks and Cubs were rained out.

And here's what I wrote earlier in the night, in less shitty times. Spoiler: it's also about Don being bad at his job.

Does Don Orsillo know there's a baseball game going on? When he shows you his bad* behind-the-scenes videos, he's completely flabbergasted when they're cut order to get back to the actual game so we can see a pitch being thrown. Tonight it happened twice in a row, as he couldn't wait to show us the super-exciting ending to the video. It gets cut off and he's shocked. He then (presumably) realizes that's why it was cut off, then they cut back to the video, and again he's ready to show us this payoff, and again, because they rewound it too far and because everything has to begin and end with the "logo wipe" which wastes even more time, it cuts off. And again he's not just sad but genuinely surprised, as if something has gone wrong. No Don, they're cutting back to the game you're supposed to be announcing! Best part was, they never did get back to that video. Or if they did, I missed it, but they didn't do it right away, as, surprise, they had some other pre-planned thing to cut to.

*Are these supposed to look horrible, for that everyman, Twitterific, we are pharmers, bum badum bum bum bum bum, we-have-technology-but-purposely-aren't-using-it feel? Or is Don just that shitty at filming stuff?

Also Don's call of the winning run was sickening; he was probably more excited than Harrelson.

Post a Comment

If you're "anonymous," please leave a name, even if it's a fake one, for differentiation purposes.

If you're having trouble commenting, try signing in to whatever account you're using first, then come back here once you're signed in.

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

My Photo
Location: Rhode Island, United States