Sunday, January 19, 2014
Uncle Bronko Picks....
Remember when I used to hate Peyton Manning? In January of '98, when my team was holding him to 134 yards passing on our way to our third national title in four seasons, I was mocking his southern drawl constantly. Then he was a division rival in the pros to both you and me for a few years. The Colts' departure from the AFC East was around the time I lost touch with the Jets and the NFL, but I still loved rooting against Peyton. In '06, he became the first of the Choking Triumvirate to win a title. I was pissed, but unlike with LeBron and A-Rod, once he won, I started to lighten up on the guy. He did that SNL appearance and was funny as fuck, and now I just see him as this goofy guy who makes me laugh and is disliked by Pats fans, making me want to side with him anyway. So here we go again, pretty-boy Yankee-fan superficial guy who nobody would have heard of if it weren't for Mo Lewis against Goofy Peyton. I'm gonna say Denver 37, BB & the Murder Junkies 32, because I'm not a 38-31 type predictor if you haven't figured that out yet. Jesus, who would have thought, there I was in high school in 1991 watching the NFL draft, a year after the Blair Thomas debacle, and we get a new QB in Browning Nagle who also turns out to be a bust, and then Mo Lewis, another Mo on another favorite team to join Mo Vaughn. (In fact, if I wanted to, I could have called my all-time favorite Net, Chris Morris, Mo, too, and then would have had a Mo on each of my favorite-yet-pitiful teams at the same time.) And this other Mo goes and has a nice career, capping it off by knocking out who I called "the most overrated living person, which I'd stress as to not limit it to athlete, only to have this nobody come up and cause me so much discomfort right up to this day in 2014. Sheeeeet. Where was I, I predictably wrote....ah yes, the big game. Yeah, Broncos minus 4. Isn't it weird how people keep talking about how Peyton needs to prove he can win the big one, when he's won a Super Bowl more recently than Brady has?
PS: You have to admit, you Pats fans have had some pretty hilarious losses to end seasons lately that I haven't even mentioned. So I deserve to at least talk about rooting against them now. Maybe I'll shut up again after they lose. But who knows, this could be their year to finally win another Super Bowl by 3 points and talk about IF IF IF weird things hadn't happened they would have won two more while ignoring the fact that IF-cubed other weird things hadn't happened they wouldn't have won any at all. Look, I'm a Jets-turned-No-Team fan, I have nothing else! But honestly, as I always add in small print, I really don't care, I get a free Sno-Cone either way. As long as Eli doesn't win any more. Unless he plays the Pats. But yeah, I don't want to share my 2013 World Series title with another local team, this is our year. Help a brother out, Welker. Oh, and hey, here's a side note about the man who always seems like he's gonna yell at me for not sitting up straight: Belichick's name ends with a -chick. Yet 100% of all people say "Beli-CHECK." Why is that? It's clearly an i.
PS 2, The Squeakuel: Remember, it's all in good fun. My wife's a Pats fan. My dad's a convenient-bandwagon Pats fan. I throw "convenient" in there because in his defense, he did jump on just inches before the Pats won that first Super Bowl. In fact I should be rooting for you jerks because I think he's gonna make like a thousand bucks if they win it all. But I still won't. Though he's welcome to attempt to by fandom on a game-to-game basis if the price is right. Remember to have your Pats spayed or neutered. Oh come on, that's genius. BelichEckian genius? No, because mine would have won something in the past 9 years. One dolla!
*Post Title Explanation: My grandpa called me Bronko from the time I was born, since I was a Buddha-ish baby, and it reminded him of NFL star Bronko Nagurski. The nickname only existed on that side of the extended family, but when my sister started popping out babies, somebody, probably my mom, brought the name back, making my scrawny self "Uncle Bronko" at family gatherings.
Mom here: This will interest no one but Jere, I should think, unless someone is writing his biography, except for my final note here. Grandpa's favorite cousin-group were the Sullivans, my cousin Cleasse, her late husband Mike, and their four children, my godchild Meggan, Elizabeth, Patty and Marty. They first met Jere in the presence of his Grandpa who only called him Bronko from day 1. So the Sullivans have always called him Bronko and the nickname was kept alive when Cleasse said to the sweet lady Amanda when a toddler (my first grandchild and Jere's first neice,) "How's Uncle Bronko?" So I can't take credit for the ongoing nickname. Might I add that cousin Patty Sullivan watches Red Sox post season games at the Hartford showroom of F.W. Webb. The store is open for the games no matter how late they go. Patty goes there because she likes being in the company of really serious fans who don't drink till after each game. Also, it's rather a kick to get to sit next to a refrigerator or convection oven.
Final: Denver 26, Murder, Inc. 16. Red Sox to be New England's most recent champ for a few more months, minimum. My original prediction (no documentation available) was the also-odd score of 32-16. I should have stuck with my instincts. But I knew the Denver defense wasn't great and the weather was, so I figured Brady could have the Pats in the end zone twice in the first Q and then my pick would have been screwed right away. Oh well.
- Name: Jere
- Location: Rhode Island, United States