Monday, January 20, 2014

Dick? Sure, Man

I'll get the Super B0wl contest reminder out of the way: If you want in, it's free, and you can win one of four fabulous and/or crappy prizes, so either comment that you're in or e-mail me at Two2067 at aol dot com. Today's the last day to get a special double-stuff entry! I've got about 40 slots to fill.

Okay, so it's time for some winter Fox-Mox, meaning Fox mocking. Remember the play where the 49er gets his leg snapped, and to add literal insult to literal injury, he had actually stripped the ball, held it, and was down, only to have no one notice while he lay dying at the bottom of the pile? Why didn't they show us what happened after he hit the ground? They must have shown the super-slo-mo replay of the strip (which was also the leg bending disgustingly) eight times in a row. At that point we're all like, We believe you, he had the ball and he was down, should be SF ball, but can you show us the part where the other team mysteriously takes the ball back from the poor guy? Didn't you want to know how he lost it? I did. I had to rewind to the original but you couldn't tell much from that wide shot, which also showed another thing they neglected to mention, the ref on the ground and a Seahawk bicycling his legs and crawling around all crazy-like followed by five guys collapsing from exhaustion around the truly injured guy. But with Joe Buck in command, I can see how what we saw wasn't even noticed by the announcers. He also did his classic Buck/Orsillo gun-jumping once, saying "and he will come up...short," only to have the ref signal TD.

And wow, Richard Sherman, what an interview. I had seen a show about how his mom is a rabid fan and never misses a home game, so I was familiar with the guy going in, seemed pretty normal. But he really channel some demonic being at the end there. I see it's already the top story in the NYDN. I guess that will be a big deal over the next few days. I think I won't "open my mouth" about him even in the privacy of my own home until this thing boils over. I also think Erin Andrews will catch more shit for not knowing who he was talking about. CRABTREE!

And the two-minute warning debacle. When that pass landed incomplete, I looked at the clock to see 2:01. Then it clicked down to 2:00. Home cooking, for sure, but come on, they can fix that. But Fox doesn't notice and cuts to the 2MW ad-set. Sure enough, after Discount Dahhble Check switches to the 4-hour erection ad, we suddenly cut back to the field where a play is about to start! The clock is at 2:01. The refs were obviously reviewing the previous clockwork, and put a second back on the clock. Fox got really lucky they made it back in time. And after the next play, I'm no fool, I knew full well I was gonna see the same 2MW commercials we'd just started to see, because in case you're young or something, the 2MW only exists for TV! That's right, it's there as a way to get another set of ads into the game, and to "build tension," as if the six timeouts aren't enough. So the ads you see there are specifically bought for that time slot. So we ended up with a Discount Quadruple Check, and an 8-hour erection.

Count me in, Jere.
You're in.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States