As I approached the scene of Christmas Eve's accident on the Newport Bridge today, I noticed the car in front of me in the right lane had her left wheels in the left lane. In other words, if you tried to pass her, you'd have the same head-on collision that had taken place two days earlier. I finally did pass her when I was sure no one was coming the other way, and as I peered over, there that piece of white trash was, head down, deep in text. These people really make me want to rethink my position on the death penalty.

In Japanese baseball player news, I'm like most American fans in that I don't know much about this Tanaka guy besides his age and his undefeated record last year. I know way more about Sara Tanaka, who did a fine job playing Margaret Yang in Rushmore. Which is funny because if the Yanks get this pitcher, they'll probably replace Brian McCann's face with his on their own Mt. Rushmore. So, Jeter, Jeter, Jeter, Tanaka.