Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Worst Day Of My Life
I'll tell you what happened in our game in case you didn't stay up.
We had bases loaded, no outs in the first. Their pitcher looked like burnt toast. We only scored one run. You have to score more than that right there. Terrible job.
Their guy would end up going seven and giving up just ONE more run, on a Victorino home run which hit an ambulance, though Eck and Don refused to comment on that.
Peavy was doing well for us, getting out of some tough spots and only giving up a run. He finally came out in the sixth. Despite an extended close-up of his face showing him shaking his head and clearly being pissed at the fact that Farrell was taking him out, Don and Eck started guessing as to whether he was mad or not. It took a replay for them to notice it, and they did that thing where they act like we're all seeing this unearthed replay that finally proves what happened.
Breslow came in and did well, keeping it at 2-1 Red Sox. The 7th ended on a ball Ellsbury caught running toward the wall. He tried to do that thing where you "run up the wall" after the catch, but his first foot slid down and he awkwardly hit the wall, then pulled a Pee-Wee Herman "I meant to do that." Don and Eck never noticed any of this. [I should also say that Bogaerts, in his first game, made an incredible lead-saving play, on which he never even had the ball in his glove, he just trapped it against the thumb and quickly threw. In fact, he might not have done that on purpose. Despite multiple replays, Don and Eck did not notice any of this. Oh and Papi didn't play because, ya know, we sometimes play games against the other league which plays by different rules, and those game count. Go figure.]
So we go to the 8th up 2-1. Tazawa came in, so we all pretty much thought he'd give up his game-tying homer and we'd take it from there. Instead, he gave up his run the non-dong way, on a sac fly that Victorino opted to catch in foul ground. I guess he had to do it instead of leaving first and third with one out.
We didn't score in the 9th. Then I guess Farrell's plan was to bring in two guys who can't control the baseball. Morales was all over the place, giving up a hit, a walk, and a hit by pitch to load the bases with two down. We turned to Villarreal for his Red Sox debut. Eck immediately talked about how this guy doesn't know where his pitches are going, which is the last thing you want with bases loaded, tie game, on the road, first place on the line, when a walk or a hit by pitch or a wild pitch ends the game.
Ball 1.
Ball 2.
Oh, did I mention it was fucking Scutaro who had to be up in this spot?
Ball fucking 3.
Finally the dude throws a goddamn strike, his catcher nods as if to say Okay there ya go great job kid... and throws the ball back to the mound. Unfortunately, the umpire... ... ... forgot, I guess, to call it a strike. Ball 4. Game over.
It was the type of pitch that's called a strike 90% of the time on a non-3-0 count, and 100% of the time on a 3-0 count. Who knows, he could have thrown ball 4 on the next pitch anyway, but any umpire from the #1 guy in the majors to that guy in the 1990 Bud commercial who's just making it to the majors after having "called it all, a thousand times" in the minors to Cory Plock's dad in Little League should have known that pitch was a strike.
So I was fucking pissed. But I was already fucking pissed, because the goddamn New York Fucking Yankees had already swept a doubleheader from the asshole Blue Jays who were supposed to win the World Series. In game one, Toronto had a 4-0 lead, too. So the Asshats are now 6.5 games behind us AND the Rays, who had also already won and therefore are tied with us for first. The Pol Pots are also within a game of the Orioles for third.
I'm not even gonna talk about how Don said the game-ending walk meant it was "truly a walk-off win." Wait, yes I am. Here's what I don't get. If he thinks the "true" "walk-off" means a game-winning walk, why does he think he's calling all the other walk-offs "walk-offs"? You'd think that would give him a clue and make him think about it. Or, Jesus, you'd think the man next to him, who fucking coined the phrase in the first place, would explain it to him instead of agreeing with him! Anyway, I can assure you I'm way more mad at The Lead being down to 6.5 than I am about the walk-off thing, but it always comes at the perfect time to piss me off even more, since it means we just lost heart-breakingly AND I have to listen to....you get the idea. Time to go to bed and hope this was all a dream.
We had bases loaded, no outs in the first. Their pitcher looked like burnt toast. We only scored one run. You have to score more than that right there. Terrible job.
Their guy would end up going seven and giving up just ONE more run, on a Victorino home run which hit an ambulance, though Eck and Don refused to comment on that.
Peavy was doing well for us, getting out of some tough spots and only giving up a run. He finally came out in the sixth. Despite an extended close-up of his face showing him shaking his head and clearly being pissed at the fact that Farrell was taking him out, Don and Eck started guessing as to whether he was mad or not. It took a replay for them to notice it, and they did that thing where they act like we're all seeing this unearthed replay that finally proves what happened.
Breslow came in and did well, keeping it at 2-1 Red Sox. The 7th ended on a ball Ellsbury caught running toward the wall. He tried to do that thing where you "run up the wall" after the catch, but his first foot slid down and he awkwardly hit the wall, then pulled a Pee-Wee Herman "I meant to do that." Don and Eck never noticed any of this. [I should also say that Bogaerts, in his first game, made an incredible lead-saving play, on which he never even had the ball in his glove, he just trapped it against the thumb and quickly threw. In fact, he might not have done that on purpose. Despite multiple replays, Don and Eck did not notice any of this. Oh and Papi didn't play because, ya know, we sometimes play games against the other league which plays by different rules, and those game count. Go figure.]
So we go to the 8th up 2-1. Tazawa came in, so we all pretty much thought he'd give up his game-tying homer and we'd take it from there. Instead, he gave up his run the non-dong way, on a sac fly that Victorino opted to catch in foul ground. I guess he had to do it instead of leaving first and third with one out.
We didn't score in the 9th. Then I guess Farrell's plan was to bring in two guys who can't control the baseball. Morales was all over the place, giving up a hit, a walk, and a hit by pitch to load the bases with two down. We turned to Villarreal for his Red Sox debut. Eck immediately talked about how this guy doesn't know where his pitches are going, which is the last thing you want with bases loaded, tie game, on the road, first place on the line, when a walk or a hit by pitch or a wild pitch ends the game.
Ball 1.
Ball 2.
Oh, did I mention it was fucking Scutaro who had to be up in this spot?
Ball fucking 3.
Finally the dude throws a goddamn strike, his catcher nods as if to say Okay there ya go great job kid... and throws the ball back to the mound. Unfortunately, the umpire... ... ... forgot, I guess, to call it a strike. Ball 4. Game over.
It was the type of pitch that's called a strike 90% of the time on a non-3-0 count, and 100% of the time on a 3-0 count. Who knows, he could have thrown ball 4 on the next pitch anyway, but any umpire from the #1 guy in the majors to that guy in the 1990 Bud commercial who's just making it to the majors after having "called it all, a thousand times" in the minors to Cory Plock's dad in Little League should have known that pitch was a strike.
So I was fucking pissed. But I was already fucking pissed, because the goddamn New York Fucking Yankees had already swept a doubleheader from the asshole Blue Jays who were supposed to win the World Series. In game one, Toronto had a 4-0 lead, too. So the Asshats are now 6.5 games behind us AND the Rays, who had also already won and therefore are tied with us for first. The Pol Pots are also within a game of the Orioles for third.
I'm not even gonna talk about how Don said the game-ending walk meant it was "truly a walk-off win." Wait, yes I am. Here's what I don't get. If he thinks the "true" "walk-off" means a game-winning walk, why does he think he's calling all the other walk-offs "walk-offs"? You'd think that would give him a clue and make him think about it. Or, Jesus, you'd think the man next to him, who fucking coined the phrase in the first place, would explain it to him instead of agreeing with him! Anyway, I can assure you I'm way more mad at The Lead being down to 6.5 than I am about the walk-off thing, but it always comes at the perfect time to piss me off even more, since it means we just lost heart-breakingly AND I have to listen to....you get the idea. Time to go to bed and hope this was all a dream.
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