Fitting as a mofo! Fans mistakenly vote the second-best second baseman into the All-Star Game, and he has to leave the game right away with an injury, allowing the best second baseman to play instead of some guy who mopes around.

Besides that, it was the "Show Mo after every pitch" game. Hey, at least we didn't have to see Jeter. In fact, isn't Jeter not being around this season a great preview of what will eventually, mercifully become our lives? But if they showed Mo all night long and then handed him the MVP award for not doing shit, can you imagine what Jeter's "last All-Star Game" will be like? Two words: Crotch. GoPro.

Wait, did I dream this or did McCarver....wait, McCarver? I thought he finally retired....anyway, back to the sentence, did I dream it or did he say about Mariano Rivera that "he's never been criticized for anything"? And did this come after Joe Buck was giving it the ol' Class Warfare, saying how Mo "always carries his glove the same way, the uniform's always the same..."? I mean, are there parents out there telling their kids, "now watch this classy guy, his uniform is always the same"? And even in this extra-classy world where uniform uniformity matters, didn't Mo suddenly decide to wear high socks like a week ago? I wouldn't normally have a problem with somebody slightly altering the way they dress, but if you're gonna insist that he's the classiest of all time for not doing that, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to point it out when he does! That's entrapment, Joe Buck!

Random eff-up by the boys: Ground(s)-rule double late in the game. Hit field, bounced over orange line, hit black wall above and bounced back to field. Announcers never mentioned that it bounced over. Treated it like a regular double. Showed super slo-mo. Ball hits well above line. Still no mention. Why do I care? I don't know. Maybe because it's their chance to explain baseball to all the Cazh Fridays tuning in.

I missed the kid in the Cano jersey getting his dumb ass tackled. But I saw it online since it's 2013 and all.

Final, A.L. 3, Crap Factory 0, Injured Yanks 1.


PS We have this fan. I think Chan and I bought it when we were roommates in NYC. It now lives with Kim and I in Providence. It squeaks. So I took a little bottle of "oil" that looks like it was produced around 1968, and squirted it in there. It kinda stopped squeaking. Still, we kept it in the basement as the "backup" fan. After a recent visit by Chan, when it was called up to blow from the basement bullpen, he claimed it began squeaking again in the night, so he turned it off. Back to the basement it went. During the recent heatwave, we sent for the squeaker again, since, unlike our main cat-fur-covered fan, it actually gives off air that you can feel from more than six inches away. We decided we'd put up with the squeaking in order to give the AC in the bedroom some extra help, and maybe to motivate its non-squeaky ass to work a little harder for its paycheck. So last night at 3:00, Kim smells burning and wakes me up. That old fan is no longer squeaking, or doing anything else for that matter. The motor had obviously died and it's now smoking. I bring it outside to its grave, and when I come back in, I test the smoke detector. Nothing. So I take it down and turn it over, to find this:


Wow, 10 years later...from 2003...from July 16th, 2003! Now I'm not saying the thing died that day, but don't you think it's pretty weird that the one time in the five years we've owned this house that I question that thing's ability to detect smoke, it's the exact day it was telling us to replace itself? From ten years earlier? What are the odds? I guess 1 in 365*5-ish.