You know how our friend/next door neighbor is a burlesque performer? Last night we were at her house for her birthday party, and at one point, she explained in detail to the entire congregation of non-sports fans the concept of...

Strat-o-matic Baseball.

I knew she'd grown up with a crush on some '86 Mets, even going as Wally Backman for Halloween one year, but knowing about "Strat" is some next-level shit! So I proceeded to give my speech about how I never knew why we sports geeks and the D&D crowd (i.e. everybody at this party, now in their grown-up sleeve-tattooed state) didn't get along. We were all doing the same thing anyway--fantasizing in our basements while the cool kids were out on dates. But I think the two groups have to end the rift on their own. Each one makes fun of the other; it's our own fault. The popular kids have pitted us against each other to hold us down, knowing that a merging of the two cultures would lead to a race of SuperGeeks! They fear being attacked by fastball-breathing dragons.

By the way, I use the geek/nerd terms in their old sense, not in their current "really popular kids who happen to wear glasses" connotation. They even stole our terms for their own use!

Anyway, I missed the second half of last night's game. But when I got home, the score was right where I'd left it. 2-0 Birds.

Yanks lost, so we're 1.5 up on Balty, 3 up on NY, 5 up on Tampa.

Napoli is still "ill." He's also been pretty lost at the plate for a week, which I guess we're blaming on the mystery sickness.

And Ciriaco is now a Padre. I hope people always remember what great job he did for the Red Sox in a tough time.

Today at 4, Sox @ O's, Lackey against....what? Freddy Garcia?

Now I think I'll go next door and see if I can get a game of Strat-o-matic going....