Monday, April 01, 2013

"Standin' At The Crossroads"

Will the Red Sox take the high road, the low road, the go road, or the no road in 2013?! Sorry, that video is still cracking me up.

Lester v. Sabathia, 1:05, Bronx.

My predicted J-Score: Red Sox 19.2, Yankees 7(n).

The J-Score is something I'm unveiling this year that I've actually been working on for about four and a half years. It combines each hitter's total bases and runs produced, then subtracts each "mistake" the pitchers make, meaning a hit, a run, or a ball more than a strike. In other words, two balls per strike equals a -1, three per two would be the same, four over two would be a -2, half over again, and you've got the idea. Each day I'll put up my predicted score and after each game I'll break it down player by player, and we'll end up with a true account of which team had the better game. The totals for each week will be averaged to get a weekly "record" which, when measured against the actual W-L record, will give what I'll call the J-wreck, showing which teams are over-and under-performing and by how much. Then at the end of each month, I'll flip a series of coins, each showing a player's bat and glove--you didn't think I'd leave fielding out, did you? After all flips are done, in the predetermined location at the four corners of the only states in our union which make such a formation--via a friend I have there or a quick flight to and from--I recently had a little windfall of royalties from a Band-Aid commercial I shot in '82--the totals will something something and if you haven't figured out it's april fool's day by now you're a total butthead. Okay, anyway, I took a shot, much like a young Cologero in A Bronx Tale. My actual prediction: Red Sox 4, Yanks 2. See ya on the other side, Ray.

Y'know, the "J-wreck" is a such a good moniker that I'm requesting you use it for something.
Okay, I'll think of something.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States