Friday, March 16, 2012

Andy Pettitte Will Do Anything To Avoid His Family

Andy Pettitte, noticing an unbelievable and mysterious ability to recover from injury and pitch seemingly forever like his pal Roger, has signed a minor league contract with the Yankees.

So first he left the Yanks for Texas to be closer to his family. After a few years of hanging around those people, he decided he'd rather be thousands of miles away from them. So he was back in New York, where he was incredibly still considered part of a "core." Then he retired from the game so he could be back with the ol' fam (though it was noted they too enjoyed the separation, except for his 5-year old, who just wanted daddy to come home). A year later, he has again had enough of the whining, the toys on the carpet, the cleaning up of apple juice. We'll see where this goes, but rest assured, should this comeback attempt fizzle, Andy will find work, nowhere near Texas.

I'm confused. Didn't the yanks have the best offseason ever, filling every hole they ever had, and putting together a rotation that kicked the pants off anything the Sox could pretend to put out there? Why do they need Pettitte then?

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Location: Rhode Island, United States