Saturday, April 30, 2011

Legendary Performance

The Red Sox broke the record for frustration and missed opportunities tonight. That's a tough record to break if you've been watching the team this year. We couldn't score a run no matter how many times we set ourselves up for it. How can our hitters be so great with no men on or a man on first, but so completely inept with men on second or third or both? I'm seriously wondering if tonight's game was a practical joke. Maybe a psychological experiment? Or maybe the Seattle Mariners are just this team that's so awesome, they just put guys on base to fuck with you and then get you out consistently after that.

And we only lost 2-0, so we knew any time a guy got on base we could be tying the game. Once we had the bases loaded and no out, and Gonzalez hits a liner right at the second baseman, who doubles Elllsbury off second, though the replay showed he was clearly safe. Twice we had inning-ending popouts that almost could have been caught by fans. Twice we hit balls that almost reached the Monster Seats. Pedroia hit balls down the right and left field lines that were foul by a combined total of three feet--on two consecutive pitches. We started off the ninth with yet another hit, but by that point, the only question was which Mariners players would be involved in the upcoming double play ball. (It was a 4-6-3.) What the dick is going on?

The only good thing about the game was that we got Eckersley in the booth in place of the flu-ridden RemDawg. (Buchholz must have gotten the same flu because Wakefield's starting in his place tomorrow.) Besides his crazy west-coast speech, you also get the ultra-rare "athlete telling stories/stats that are actually correct." He's amazing--tonight he even asked, "how do I remember this stuff?" I don't know, but you're always right, Eck. He was moving on to new things before I could finish confirming the last one. From knowing his first punch-out (Yount) and his last (Thome), to knowing that he gave up some cheese-flavored gohpher to Bob Brenly, to details about his 14 K game in 1976 involving a Buddy Bell error, he was always spot-on. I know I've mentioned this whole thing before, but the point is, he's still got it. When's he gonna get a job as a regular color man?


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Location: Rhode Island, United States