Thursday, November 11, 2010

Jeteran's Day

On this Jeteran's Day, none of us should forget the contributions and sacrifices that Derek Jeter has made for our society and way of life.

His assassinations of Hitler and Mussolini in 1944 saved the lives of millions and won World War II for the Yankees and the USA.

The Korean and Vietnam wars were won simultaneously by America when Jeter overthrew both Kim Jung Il's father and the Vietcong rein, and He was voted President (a title he still holds today!).

The Cold War ended when President (and now King) Jeter knocked over the Berlin Wall onto Gorbachev in 1989.

In the 2001 World Series, his home run off closer Osama Bin Laden defeated al Qaeda, 11 to 9.

We enjoy freedom because He has sacrificed. He is an Army of one, protecting American shores in foreign lands throughout the world. His Courage, His Freedom, His Hope, are threaded into the fabric of our flag. Give Him your thanks, your respect, your prayers. You are alive because He has allowed you to live.

Happy Jeteran's Day, America.

Comments:
May Jeter bless you for writing such a wonderful article, Jere.
 
Haha.
 
Here's AJM's comment which he put on the wrong post (something Jeter would never do)

"You forgot to mention when he took the bullet and stopped the assassination of Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo in 1914, thus preventing World War I from occurring (as well as preventing the formation of an indie rock band). Jetes was ok, though; as usual his uncanny intangibles and expert positioning made up for his complete lack of range and allowed him to deflect the bullet with nothing more than a flesh wound. Fist pump!"

I can assure you, I wanted to mention Archduke Franz Ferdinand. As you know I'm a big fan of the rarely seen "Comedy Killers" sketch on SNL from like '91. But I couldn't work him in--nice job doing it for me.

(Actually, the bullet missed Jeter, too, but his acting job made everyone think it hit him.)
 
Ha, that's pretty funny that I screwed up posting that comment...definitely NOT Jeterian.
 
Jere, your comment was hilarious. Don't forget when Jetes stopped an earthquake, the big one, from happening with his super strength after descending to the fault line above LA.. Sometimes the GG voters seem blind. Right now he's a completely average
defensive SS and an above average hitter. The blind leading the blind, though.
 

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