Thursday, May 13, 2010


Are you familiar with the "Cliff Walk" in Newport? It's a trail that goes around behind the famous Newport mansions, along a cliff. Well I guess some guy fell off the cliff and became a quadriplegic. And he has sued because no one told him the "Cliff Walk" was "dangerous."

In other nooz, I'm suing the following tourist attractions, which failed to inform me of the danger they had me walking into unexpectedly:

Lion Lane
Hot Lava Lounge
Scorpion Path
Acid Alley
Bear Trap Court
Landmine Fields
Crocodile Promenade
Tsunami Bay
The Bottomless Pit House
Third Rail Plaza
Nuke Waste Swimmin' Hole
Old Yankee Stadium Bleachers Section 37
Jurassic Park
Gathering of the Juggalos

I can understand not realizing beforehand that you're entering a potentially dangerous situation--maybe this guy just thought it was a path named after Cliff Clavin or Cliff Huxtable or something. But there has to be a point while walking along the edge of a cliff when you tell yourself not to make any sudden left turns.

To add (another) insult to injury, his wife later left him because her religion mandated that she have lots of kids, which he could no longer provide. Ever heard of a sperm donor? Adoption? I think she was just sick of having a quadriplegic husband. Guess her religion doesn't mandate loyalty and compassion....

BTW, The Site of "The Toilet", is just about cleared, except for RF, as an escalator pod by the old Gate 6 by West 157 Street,, may be hard to pull down, due to its' proximity to the IRT Elevated Line:

& there are two sub-basements to be removed before "The Toilet" is GONE.
Third Rail Plaza has the most darling gift shop, though.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States