Depending on who you ask, Adrian Beltre is either some unsigned dude OR the Red Sox' new starting third baseman. [As of 8 PM, it seems pretty official.]

Considering our current third baseman, despite being one of my favorite all-time Sox, probably wouldn't have too much motivation to play for us right now and also can barely walk to first let alone run, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we will be getting Beltre.

And it's weird, because of his low OBP--you'd think Theo wouldn't wanna touch a guy like that. But it's also funny how one decade a stat is a background figure and the next it's the be-all end-all determination of how good a guy is. So think about it this way: Beltre can pound the ball. His home runs are down since the 'roid era, but look at the doubles. In Fenway Park, this guy can be another Jim Rice. And what did Jim Rice say about walking? It's for mailmen and street whores! Okay, maybe he only said the mailman part. We're just gonna have to get walks from somewhere else, but we won't think about that when the ball's flying over the Monster Seats.

It's like turning the knob down on Mike Lowell's age and up on his mobility. And the guy has won two gold gloves in the last three years, too.

Papi always wanted another bat. Looks like we may have gotten him one in the form of a fellow countryman.

[On NESN right now, 8:24 PM: A shot of Beltre in the dugout during a June 2004 Dodgers-Sox game at Fenway. Dave Roberts up for LA, just singled, McDonough and Remy talking non-stop about his stolen base ability. And a line drive was just caught by Kelly Barons, whose name Remy had to get from someone else at that point. And Roberts steals second.]