Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Tiger TV

Yes, it's true. I, too, had an affair with Tiger Woods. Haven't you?

A few years ago, a my buddy and I were ready for a new dollar bet. The tradition started back in the late '90s with "who will have a baby first, Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?" Every time a bet is won, a new bet is drawn up, often on an actual scroll. Meaning a piece of paper. On the most recent occasion, we made it a three-parter. This was shortly after Tiger Woods' wedding, so my contribution was to have us pick the date that Tiger would get divorced. I don't remember the date I picked (the bet is over now so it doesn't matter), but the point is, I predicted his marriage wouldn't last. Why? Not because I thought he was a cheater. But because I feel like the odds that a millionaire and a model just *happen* to be "soul mates" are non-existent.

So I'm not trying to take credit for predicting what's going on now, nor did my original prediction mean I was rooting against the marriage--though I'd always get excited about any little news tidbit about Tiger: "he didn't make the cut? Elin's not impressed..This could be the end!" You know, just so I could win a dollar. So you can imagine what it's been like in the little world of our bets. It doesn't get any more exciting than this--even though the bet is technically over. I mean, this would be like Christina and Britney having the same due date.

Oh, and while I wasn't really rooting against Tiger (I would have had no reason to--other than to win that dollar, of course), I have to say, when a person cheats, they deserve what they get. I hope every single detail comes out and he has to live with it.

Tiger is lucky that the state police never got a blood sample. But his at-home troubles, which are his own fault, have just begun.
I had an affair with Tiger and with Elin. Not at the same time, mind you. I love Tiger but he's turning out to be another rich super star who can't keep his pants on.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States