So there was this guy who used to play pinball and they gave him all these awards for his scores, even though the scores he would pass weren't really numbers that anyone knew anyway, and also, he was tilting the machine to get the scores, and on top of that, these scores never really led to his pinball team winning like they did in the past, but he still got the award for highest score on Tuesdays and also highest score for guys whose names started with R on Tuesdays, which I kinda felt was the same record but this guy was just really classy so he really deserved a plaque a day, and that's what he got, because everybody wanted him to be a champion so bad they just figured if they kept giving him stuff for no reason they could live in a beautiful fantasy world with marmalade clouds and gummy bear dogs where the tastiest treat of all was the giant edible chocolate plaque for best clapping for other pinball players.